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Destination Wedding Invite Drama

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Re: Destination Wedding Invite Drama

  • appsnzertsappsnzerts member
    5 Love Its First Comment
    Yeah I have had the same thoughts but obviously can't really prove that he didn't know.  I am sure he's claiming ignorance so the consequences don't fall onto him or his relationship with my FI.
    ladyamanuet said:
    See to me it seems impossible for the groom not to know what was happening. Everyone else's SOs were on the boat and he didn't wonder why one of his groomsmen's SO was missing?? That sounds like some BS to me. I don't believe for one second that he wasn't aware that some shady ass nonsense was happening. He might not know about the slave labor aspect, but he had to know she was excluded and didn't step up and tell her to get on the boat.

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  • appsnzertsappsnzerts member
    5 Love Its First Comment
    Agreed.  I know if i pushed the issue, my FI will talk to her husband to explain why they won't be invited. If  I decide to go that route.  He definitely understands and thinks it's completely justified why I am upset.

    ladyamanuet said:
    gatortot said:
    Yeah I have had the same thoughts but obviously can't really prove that he didn't know.  I am sure he's claiming ignorance so the consequences don't fall onto him or his relationship with my FI.
    ladyamanuet said:
    See to me it seems impossible for the groom not to know what was happening. Everyone else's SOs were on the boat and he didn't wonder why one of his groomsmen's SO was missing?? That sounds like some BS to me. I don't believe for one second that he wasn't aware that some shady ass nonsense was happening. He might not know about the slave labor aspect, but he had to know she was excluded and didn't step up and tell her to get on the boat.

    Well I think that point needs to be made to your fiance, in defense of you not wanting to invite either of them.

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  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    thelastdreamer said:
    I would have your FI talk to him first. "Dude, gatortot was really hurt by what happened at your wedding. That was not ok." See how that goes. If the guy defends his wife and bride and says they didn't do anything wrong, don't invite them. If apologize and is genuinely sorry for her behavior, I'd invite them. 

    I think this is a really good idea.

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  • PrettyGirlLostPrettyGirlLost member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    edited September 2014
    gatortot said:
    My FI was really upset. He was moreso upset that the bridal parties dates were also invited on the boat, but me being a bridal attendant AND a date of someone who was in the bridal party still got stuck serving drinks and doing nothing between the ceremony and reception.  HOLY FUCK!  Your FI needs to tell his friend that what they did to you at their wedding was totally unacceptable and that you both were very upset by it.  If this groom doesn't apologize profusely your FI should drop his ass.  I totally forgot to add too, that the bride wanted me to stay after the reception to clean up.  I will try to post my "itinerary"  from the bride's mom later... I also forgot to add that she asked me to get a coordinating dress color to her bridesmaids, but was not in any pictures!  So , all of this added up you can see my frustration.  Not to mention, since the day I came into my FI's friend group, she had it out for me with talking badly about me to our mutual friends, but I got past it, accepted her apologies and forgave her more than once.

    Both the boys are non-confrontational and I am a pretty direct person, although I am so upset about this situation I can't bring myself to talk to her yet.   The groom at the wedding had no idea any of this was happening. My FI did not want to start drama with either of them on the wedding day so we both left it aside from me saying that I wouldn't be serving drinks.

    I have seen the bride once since the wedding and she completely ignored me, after I tried to say hi.  Her husband is nice as pie to me but can tell he feels awkward around me.  My FI refuses to talk to the crazy bride but carries on a friendship with his friend/her husband.  They both know there are major issues there but will not talk about it.   Time to get the fuck over themselves and have a conversation that acknowledges how fucked up this woman is, how badly they both treated you on their wedding day- ignorance is no excuse when it was his wedding too, and the groom needs to apologize profusely. 


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  • southernbelle0915southernbelle0915 mod
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    thelastdreamer said:

    I would have your FI talk to him first. "Dude, gatortot was really hurt by what happened at your wedding. That was not ok." See how that goes. If the guy defends his wife and bride and says they didn't do anything wrong, don't invite them. If apologize and is genuinely sorry for her behavior, I'd invite them. 

    She's already said that both these dudes are problem avoiders. If bridezilla's H has avoided this so far and not proactively said "hey I know my wife treated your FI like shit and I'm really sorry" then he doesn't care enough to actually mend fences or do the right thing.

    Also FTR, the apology should come from BOTH of the husband and the 'zilla.
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  • thisismynickname2thisismynickname2 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    huskypuppy14 said:
    The consequences of being married to a bitch is that you sometimes don't get invited to things. Sorry not sorry.
    I agree. Thanks for the additional OP.  If I were you, I wouldn't invite them to a destination wedding.  I hope your FI can support you in this decision. 
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  • katiebelle2882katiebelle2882 member
    Name Dropper 5 Love Its First Anniversary First Comment
    Every time you post something she did gets worse. If I was your FI I wouldn't want them invited and probably suggest that we didn't. I hate to say it but sounds like both of you are dealing more with boys than with men. I realize people aren't confrontational (and thats cool- i don't like it either) and don't like drama but this doesnt need to be dramatic but principles should be adhered to. Your FI should express his disgust, tell him why it was disgusting and rude (because I agree-her husband had to know what was going on-did he not SEE you serving drinks like some unpaid waitress????) and mention to him that bc of this, they won't be invited to the wedding because its an intimate event with people who wouldn't dream of doing what his wife did to you.  While he is at it he should quote huskypuppy verbatim and probably mention that he should get used to being left out of things bc his wife is rude and a beeyotch.
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  • SP29SP29 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    You cannot separate social units, so I wouldn't invite either of them. Bridezilla's husband definitely knew what went on after the fact, so he's not entirely free from blame.

    I think it's fine if your DH and him want to keep friends, but I would keep those relationships separate and not invite either to your intimate wedding. 

    I agree with huskypuppy- consequences! 
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  • blondeejblondeej member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary First Comment Name Dropper
    @gatertot - being the FI of a non-confrontational man myself, I understand how the idea of "telling your FI to step up and say something to his friend" - is like asking for it to rain money. LOL The best thing about your FI and his friend BOTH being non-confrontational is his friend won't be "hurt" one bit about not being invited. And like someone else mentioned - being married to a bitch has it's side effects, this of which is one - don't think for a minute he doesn't realize this and know exactly the situation at hand!
    Your FI and him will continue on in buddy-land post wedding, I promise. lol  :)

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