Wedding Etiquette Forum

RSVP follow up - guest said she didn't receive invitation, and I'm mortified

TLDR: How do you respond when someone says they didn't receive the invitation after they received a save the date? We were folloing up on RSVP's, and one of our guests said this. Longer Version: FI is close to the team he manages, and we included them in wedding invites. We sent save the dates to all, and didn't do any B-listing. Invites went out on time, and we didn't hear back from one of the people. In the meantime, there were some complications at work, and ultimately the person transferred to another group. DH followed up today, and she said she hadn't received invitation. He's mortified, and I'm mortified because she probably assumed we sent a save the date but then decided not to invite her after she transferred. We gave her the wedding information, and we'll send another invitation tonight first thing with a note. Any other suggestions?

Re: RSVP follow up - guest said she didn't receive invitation, and I'm mortified

  • vulpiepopvulpiepop member
    First Comment 5 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    edited September 2014
    The invitation may have gotten lost in the mail. :-(

    I don't know when your RSVPs are due but if you're calling guests for their RSVPs, I'm assuming it's past the respond by date, right? 

    I think you did well. I guess the only other suggestion I have would be to follow up with her later after she can find out whether she can come or not and just get her answer then.

    Edited for grammar mistakes

    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • This happened to me.  I sent an STD and invite to a friend.  When I was following up, she said she never got the invite.  She moved between the time I sent the STD and the invite, and I didn't have her new address.  No harm, no foul.  Funny thing - her invite was returned via post office about 2 weeks after the wedding.
  • Some of our invites were lost in the mail and never made it back to us. I too was mortified, profusely apologized, and re-sent the invitations. There isn't much else you can do.
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  • This happened to us. The invite was never returned to us so of course we figured it was delivered. We followed up with her and she said she never got the invite. I apologized over and over and told her we'd love to have her there. Not much else you can do.
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  • When my friend got married, her invitation to me was lost. It wasn't a big deal. I understood these things happen. I am sure your friend realizes this as well.

    BTW, we eventually found the invite. There was a gap between our front stairs and the one on the stoop next door. The mailbox hung right over this gap. Apparently the invitation fell in that gap. We swept that spot months after the wedding and there it was.
  • It happens- we had several people not get theirs and they were never returned. I knew we had the correct addresses because they got STDs, shower invites, thank you cards, etc- just no actual invite.

    Luckily they were people who knew when the wedding was and had friends who got their invites around the same time so they actually let us know they hadn't been received.
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  • Thank you all so much - we went with the hand delivered, profuse apology and hope for the best.
  • Yeah - this happened to me as well - it happened to 3 couples so far and all of our invites were mailed at once. REALLY frustrating. But I think you did good - not much else to do now.
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