Wedding dreams (nightmares?!)

jaime232 · August 2014

Hey there! Random topic for you all... I'm assuming this is common, but do any of you have wedding nightmares? I've had a handful, most of them are about me not being at all prepared (centerpieces not done, dress fittings not completed), and then it's the day of the wedding and it's 3pm and my hair isn't done and we're supposed to get married at 4.. LOL. Stuff like that. The last one I had, the photographer just didn't show up, but we didn't realize until after the ceremony.. so we decided to do the ceremony again, and then we lost all daylight and couldn't do sunset pictures. So I decided to leave and go to the casino... What??? I mentioned this to my fiance and he jokes that it's because I'm convinced our wedding will be a disaster. I say that a lot of brides probably have this same thing happen? Hopefully.

April192002 · August 2014

I probably wouldn't go to a casino...but you'd find me at a local bar!

I can't say I've really had any wedding dreams/nightmares but I tend not to remember any of them (I'd say like 2%)...even from back in elementary I didn't remember most of them - except for my Captain Hook dream that I had about 5 times. I think I've had one wedding dream but couldn't tell you what it was. I really wish I could freak out in my dreams, rather than just while being awake!

goldchocobo.defunct635829490514903826 · August 2014

OMG, thank you for this thread. I love talking about wedding dreams! I've had so many. I haven't had some in a while but I wonder if October will be wedding dream central because that's where my mind will be.

2 that come to mind right now:

I had a dress fitting and my mom was with me. They hand me my dress to put on and I doesn't even feel the same. It's a weird pattern. Mom tells me to go put it on.

It's in 2 pieces. One piece looks like this:

And then over top that was a lacy top. It was a disaster and NOT what I bought! I told my mother "What IS this??? This is TERRIBLE!" and my mother says "Well....do you still want to wear it?"

UMMMM NO! NONONO! NO!

The 2nd dream was about the wedding day. It was at the wrong place, all the guests were wandering around confused, my flowers were wrong, there was no photographer, my bridesmaids were nowhere to be found, but we still got married and signed the documents. My MOH arrived and managed to drag the other BMs with her. But I was so happy. I was married! Eff the rest! It was the best day ever! I was a wife! This dream was actually really awesome.

jaime232 · August 2014

LOL oh man. That dress!!! Hahaha.

I'm sure you're right about October dreams. Should be interesting!

goldchocobo.defunct635829490514903826 · September 2014

I had a dream last night and it was TERRIBLE!

This is how it went:

- So it was my wedding day. I was getting married in 2 hours and I was getting ready and I lost my make up kit. So I had to deal with the makeup I was wearing (whatever, I can deal. I was wearing gold makeup with liquid eyeliner, totally fine, but my foundation was old and I really wanted to touch it up) and I had no idea how to do my hair. I screwed it up and had to take it down and was starting to get concerned about it. (These are two things I am working on, so my brian is projecting my concerns....THANKS, BRAIN)

- My photographer showed up on time for group photos but late for 'getting ready photos (2pm) but he didn't seem interested in taking pictures. In fact, he didn't have a camera with him. He was just around and mingling with guests. My wedding ceremony is 4pm for real, so these guests were super early.....

- One of my friends (not invited) showed up wearing a veil to 'cheer me on'.

- One of my bridesmaids showed up in a dinosaur costume and I WAS OKAY WITH IT.

- I realized I had no flowers, and started searching for the coordinator to help me deal with this (FYI, I am on my 3rd coordinator since signing with the venue in July 2013, but I hope this new gal is here to stay), all of a sudden the venue was HUGE and it turns out my coordinator isn't working that day. WHAT??? Some people suggested I look in the dumpster to find something acceptable....

- So I try to find anyone who will help me. Me and my dinosaur attired bridesmaid go looking for any staff member to help. We find someone, who is running a bridal show (again...WHAT??) and he admits they are short staffed. He's his own coordinator in his gay wedding wedding next month. THIS DOEN'T HELP ME

He sends me to find someone named "Vaughn" and he will help me figure out where my flowers got to. This was when I woke up.

So in summary, my brain is worried about:

1. My hair

2. My makeup

3. My BMs not having their attire done on time. Yet I was cool with it in the dream so I dunno....

4. My flowers not arriving.

FI asked how he was in the dream. I told him all his shit was sorted and he was super happy. He did barge in while I was sorting out my dress and I remember having to flip the dress bag around so he didn't see it.

Ugh, this is too early....I still have 58 days to go....

Worst dream to date.

April192002 · September 2014

Just had one...and it kind of woke me up.

It's the morning of our wedding day and we're kind of hanging around the house and I'm slowly starting to get my stuff together and...OH SHIT! We forgot to get our marriage license. Let the panic begin! I start thinking of what we can/should do? Our state has a 72 hour waiting period and Saturday so we can't just run down to the court house to get it. We've spent all this money, everything's paid for, we have our officiant and guests...we can't just cancel. I decide that we go through with it, as though everything's okay, then on Monday we go "apply" and then Friday we can just go back down to the courthouse to get officially married. It will all be okay!

So I call my mom and realize my family's almost to the venue and we haven't left yet - it's an hour away and they're going to get there an hour before I told them to, which means I'm running late. PANIC! I tell her about the marriage license issue and our plan to just get it done that next week and then it hits me that our officiant is a JP. What if he won't agree to perform the ceremony without a marriage license? So if he won't we'll just have one of our friends perform the ceremony, since we technically aren't getting officially married it won't matter if our stand in is official or not. Then I realize I haven't gotten with my friend who's doing my hair and makeup for a trial run and haven't been able to get in touch with her to make sure that she can still be there. Whatever, I own makeup it will be okay. But my hair is a mess - so now I'm running late and I need to take a shower and try to fix my hair. I haven't spoken with the photographer since I paid the deposit so he doesn't know the exact time to be there, but it's in our contract of when his time starts so that should be okay.

I'm SO stressed out talking to my mom, she suggests FI helps me, so I start complaining about FI's lack of urgency when it comes to leaving (of course he doesn't know all the problems yet because I've been in the bedroom the whole time). I will tell him we need to leave at X time - it takes you about 15/20 minutes to take a shower, another 5-10 minutes to get ready, so you need to wake up and be moving by X time...and if you don't want to jump out of bed immediately, you should probably plan to wake up at X time so we can get there on time - and he'll sleep later, take longer in the shower, sit around to dry off because he found something interesting on TV (or will sit down to look something up on the computer), then get ready...so we're 30+ minutes later than what we should be. Here I am frantically trying to get everything together now, hoping that I don't forget something, still needing to take a shower, we need to leave ASAP, and he's chillin' watching a movie or playing video games or something. He still needs to take a shower and get ready, plus help me get everything together. UGH!

And I wake up. Now I'm worried that we're going to forget to get our marriage license, we're both going to over sleep, and/or he's going to take too long getting ready that morning (we have to be in the car driving off at 9:30am). 83 days to go!

April192002 · September 2014

@goldchocobo Your uninvited friend in a veil to cheer you on? LOL If you had forgotten your veil at least there was a backup available! The dinosaur costume is awesome! You should scratch what you've picked out and change them all dinosaur costumes - we all should!

That blows about your change of venue coordinators. I hope she does stick around and that's not an added last minute stress on you - but I'm sure your wedding day will be great!

goldchocobo.defunct635829490514903826 · September 2014

LMFAO, dinosaur costumes... She had her original dress and had it altered to a dinosaur costume without telling me. I'm just about to send her a message chastising her! She's one of like 3 people that hasn't RVSP'd, so I will tack that little story onto her meal and date request.

I was just talking to my mother about the marriage license and how paranoid of the legalities of all this. In Ontario, you have 60 days from filing to marry and you can get married the same day you file, so I am in the limits of filing, but I am terrified of effing it up somehow. That's my next nightmare, I think.

@April192002, seeing your dream and my dream, we are having the same issues. We are worried about our vendors. Trusting vendors is hard but I am trying to tell myself that they are professionals and a good review goes a LONG way in this business.

ETF: words. I suck at words.

jaime232 · September 2014

Ahahhaha... I'm dying over this dinosaur thing! Amazing.

I had another dream last week that was semi-horrifying. I found out I had cancer and had to get married ASAP, before my dress alterations were done, so seams were missing and there were random pins. Somehow this seemed to be a bigger deal than cancer (wtf is wrong with my brain). Then I was walking around trying to do my own hair while decorating the venue, the cakes got WET and slipped off the cake stands, and then I was a half hour late for the ceremony. SO BIZARRE.

CTYankeeBride · September 2014

They've started this week for me!

Monday it was a dream that I arrived to our wedding venue and a snooty employee brought me to the bridal suite which was one room the size of a small closet and suddenly like 30 people were in there with me (photographer, mom, BM's, people just kept piling in). No other guests seemed to be arriving so I looked out the window and the lawns were covered in bed sheets and a wedding was going on. Where we're getting married doesn't even have a lawn and even if it did we wouldn't be having our ceremony there. so I ask my sister when the guests are coming and she says "no one got an invite, and the wedding isn't for 10 days anyway." I woke up in a cold sweat.

Last night was a dream that I was at my bachelorette party at a bar with people I don't even know except for one girl I haven't spoken to since high school and one of our GM's. We all sat at a table and the server brought a drink for the bride (me!) and the guy next to me gulped it down. Then everyone ordered drinks and decided they were taking too long and wanted to leave but all of our cars were stolen. I don't even know if I'm having a bachelorette anything and if I did I can't imagine that's how it would unfold.

goldchocobo.defunct635829490514903826 · September 2014

@CTYankeeBride, bed sheets all over the lawn? Really? LOL. I love how your sister was like, meh, not a big deal! No invite? Double meh. That bachelorette sounds less than fun too!

I had another one!

I was getting the marriage license (I knew this dream was coming....ugh). I'm actually getting the license Sept 23rd because my boss is going on vacay for 3 weeks and this is the only time I can do it without a day off overlapping hers, so I am VERY nervous because it needs to go well. Anyway, I was standing in line and the person calls me up. I tell them why I am here and he says "Okay, give me the paper printout." I forgot it!!! I tell the person this and he says "Go print it out and bring it here." It prints super messed up... I hand it to the guy and he says "Where is your fiance's birth certificate? Where is yours? Your fiance needs to sign this..."

I screwed it all up! I forgot everything! I was so upset and embarrassed.

CTYankeeBride · September 2014

LOL yes! Like when you see a baseball game and they have the tarp out to protect the turf from the rain, that's what it looked like. Or like white bed sheets laid on the lawn like they were trying to grow the grass. I woke up thinking WTF?! All these people crammed in there trying to "help" (none of whom apparently even invited to the wedding!!) and not one person could tell me that the wedding wasn't even that day. Not even the hotel employee who walked me to the room, babbling away about the weather and what a great day for a wedding. Ugh. Oh, and the end of the dream was where I got a bill for the time we were in the room getting ready.

I don't know how marriage licenses work in your area but I called the town clerk where we're going to get ours and I'm in the "I have one day to get this dealt with" category also. Print out like 10 copies of whatever they could possibly need and wheel in a rolling backpack lol.

I know these nightmares are in direct relation to the disaster of wedding-related snafus I've had all week. Finally, today, at the post office of all places, something went right in one try without an issue and I could have hugged the postal worker. Maybe tonight I'll have a dream where she's my maid of honor.

hikebikebemerry · September 2014

Last night I had a dream that I showed up for the ceremony and we just ended up dancing to the theme music to the Peanuts.

I was unphased by it in my dream.

goldchocobo.defunct635829490514903826 · September 2014

CTYankeeBride said:
I don't know how marriage licenses work in your area but I called the town clerk where we're going to get ours and I'm in the "I have one day to get this dealt with" category also. Print out like 10 copies of whatever they could possibly need and wheel in a rolling backpack lol.

I've read the requirements OVER and OVER and OVER. I have set aside the paperwork and the requirements. Yet I still feel like I have the ability to mess it up.

hikebikebemerry said:

Last night I had a dream that I showed up for the ceremony and we just ended up dancing to the theme music to the Peanuts.

I was unphased by it in my dream.

LMAO I can hear the theme now and just see you shrugging and dancing:

April192002 · September 2014

FI and I have "one chance" to get our license (he's off on Mondays and I'll have to take the day off to do it)...and I still have to find my divorce papers somewhere in my parents' house (his are somewhere in our bedroom/closet). I've gone through all of the papers I've taken from there and can find all of the unofficial/incomplete papers we've sent to each other but I didn't come across the official one. I may just have to contact that county to get another copy mailed to me. It's several states away and would require at least 2 days off of work for a road trip if I absolutely had to drive there.

11 weeks away and I NEED to find these papers - or I'll be having a horrible dream about that soon.

April192002 · September 2014

I had another one last night but my fear of oversleeping for work this morning helped me wake up and forget most of it. I do remember that Plan A wasn't going to work so we moved on to Plan B, which required us to fill in the large area that was "dug out" where we originally were going to have the ceremony. This area was so large and deep that it had a permanent restroom that would be completely covered as well.

jaime232 · September 2014

HA!

goldchocobo.defunct635829490514903826 · September 2014

LOL you had to pave over your original site?

April192002 · September 2014

I can't wait to see what other "issues" I'll have in the next 9 weeks. Add napkins to that list. Why am I dreaming about napkins?!?

jaime232 · September 2014

I had another.... omg so stupid.

Okay so I was at the venue and the ceremony was started but my hair wasn't done and my dress wasn't on. I put my dress on and it had COME APART right where the waist starts because it was hanging on a hanger and was too heavy. In addition, the seamstress had "patched" certain parts of the front and the skirt with like, green striped fabric. I decided to try to hold my bouquet so you couldn't see the giant tear in the waist, but then I had to do my own hair. Meanwhile, all my bridesmaids showed up and had gotten their hair and makeup professionally done, so I was really sad that I looked so dumpy and they all looked great.

In addition to this, I had to get dressed like, behind a curtain at the end of the aisle. Wtf.

CTYankeeBride · October 2014

I had one last night that our photographer didn't show up. I'm sure this is fueled by having to cancel our engagement photo session.

Fueled by that or by the fact that 43 days before our wedding I don't know what time he plans on showing up pre-ceremony.

April192002 · October 2014

@CTYankeeBride Have you been in touch with your photographer yet on the time? I emailed mine a few weeks ago to let him know the official ceremony start time and just to touch base and never heard anything back, which makes me kind of nervous because how hard is it to just respond with a "got it" or "I'll get in touch with you about the details around X date"? Maybe I just expect more/too much from people.

CTYankeeBride · October 2014

@April192002 Nope, I still haven't heard. He responded to an e-mail I sent about our engagement pictures (which ended up being cancelled due to weather) and at the end of that e-mail I asked what time we'd see him on the wedding day/ what he wanted to eat at the reception. I decided to let it rest and assume he'll be there 2 hours before (which is what's in the contract but he had repeatedly said he'd plan for earlier because it gets dark outside early). Does your contract have a start time or a number of hours?

I'm e-mailing him today to arrange for final payment and telling him I need a meal count by Friday. Even if he really doesn't want a meal that's fine but he could have the courtesy to let me know that. In the beginning it was so wonderful and now as the wedding date approaches I'm wondering how it's all really going to go if he can't even tell me chicken or beef and "I'll see you at x time." I'm trying to be understanding that it's a busy season for him and that I'm not his only client but I am also a photographer (not weddings) and I wouldn't leave a client hanging like this. So frustrating.

April192002 · October 2014

My contract said he would be there for 8 hours, and then there was a line to fill in for start and end time. I really wasn't thinking that I'd need him for all 8 hours but if that's included in the price I'll take it - and that will give us picture time before people arrive all the way to the end.

I really hope your photographer gets back in touch with you. I just don't get how hard it is to respond to a simple email. I admit that I forget to respond to personal emails or texts that I get during work, but if my paycheck depended on this communication then I'd make sure I'd answer.

CTYankeeBride · October 2014

If your contract is for 8 hours, definitely take the 8 hours. Some people want coverage earlier for hair and makeup and don't care if the photographer stays after the cake is cut.

He did respond and tell me to go ahead and order chicken for him. Great, fine, done. He included a form for me to fill out. When I asked a question about one of the things on the form, he asked me to call him. I called him at the agreed-upon time and left a voicemail. He didn't call back so yesterday (2 days after the voicemail), I e-mailed back the form he sent. Still no response today.

I have tried very hard to not be a nuisance to him. I don't want that kind of relationship with our photographer. At the same time, a little courtesy would be nice. In like 10 places, his form reminds me to "leave plenty of extra time so we can really rock this out!," and "leave plenty of time for some shots of just the two of you." I would love to! So tell me how much freaking time you think that would be and we'll be ready to go at that time. Grrrrrr.

Our contract says final payment is due 3-4 weeks before the wedding. In his "I'll take chicken" e-mail he asked when we want to meet up to make final payment. I almost answered "as soon as I know what time you'll be there on our wedding day, I'll write the check."

goldchocobo.defunct635829490514903826 · October 2014

I'm so sorry this guy is being so difficult! I know what you mean about not being a nuisance, but I guess if you have to be a little firmer, now is the time.

My cake lady was kind of like that. But I think she was just a little spaced out because she's pregnant and due like....today. She arranged the wrong time to meet for final payment and I swear she didnt remember the appointment at all because she was like "Oh...yes! Wedding cake..." like it completely slipped her mind. Totally forgivable.

Note: She had her baby Oct 16.

CTYankeeBride · October 2014

FI e-mailed him today and essentially said "hey, we need to make arrangements to make our final payment. Oh, we also need to make arrangements for my sister to close her store early and be at the venue in time for formals. Since this is her only source of income she can't just blow off clients at the last minute." That seemed to go a long way. Now he'll be there by 3 p.m. Maybe tonight will be the first night in over a month that I don't have a photographer not showing up nightmare.

The cake lady seems to have "new baby brain" like I have "bridal brain." For the last 2 weeks I feel like I can't focus on anything (not even the wedding, and our planning and projects are done except for the escort cards, which I'm finishing on Sunday). It's good that she took care of you when you reminded her, that goes a long way!

goldchocobo.defunct635829490514903826 · October 2014

Bridal Brain: If that's not a term, it should be!!

I too have bridal brain. I just feel really flighty and disjointed. My mind is constantly reeling. And it's not just wedding stuff, it's work stuff, home stuff, everything. I am constantly making lists in my head. It's like I live in lists now! Not a terrible thing, but I feel pulled in many directions.

jaime232 · October 2014

Bridal braaain! Yes! I'm like, omg, has my personality totally tanked? Am I incapable of having normal conversations? Am I super boring and stupid? Is this my life now?

Hopefully this goes away... I feel like my brain is too full.

Side note, my friend said she had a dream she was late for my wedding.. it's contagious! Ha

goldchocobo.defunct635829490514903826 · October 2014

I haven't had any dreams since late September, when we picked up the marriage license. I guess that means I feel like everything is okay now? I dunno...

goldchocobo.defunct635829490514903826 · October 2014

UGH I spoke too soon! I had one last night!

The venue was NOT the venue I chose. I told myself "I have to be at this venue at 12:00 because the photographer needs me there!" I slept in...until 2pm. I throw on track pants and a tank top and I'm struggling to get my shit together.

The photographer shows up looking for me and proceeds to start taking pictures. Ummmm...Im in track pants, my hair is a mess, I have no makeup on, and I can't find my dress.

My mother loads me in the car and we get to the weird venue where they place me in a room full of strangers and tell me they are running behind (this place is like a wedding factory, there are people running around in wedding dresses waiting to get married). I see FI with my brother and ask if he got the suits all sorted out and where the hell did his best man go. Oh, Best Man didn't want to go. WHAT? He was just hoping you wouldn't notice?

I go to do my hair and I notice my sock bun is missing. I forgot it at the other place. I am now desperately looking for another sock. I am panicked. My dress is declared missing. I need to find my dress. I yelled at my photog to stop taking random pictures and follow me because goddamn it I need to get into my dress!!!

I woke up groaning. I do NOT need this today.

What I learned from this dream:

- I am worried about a wedding party member not having their shit together. It isn't the Best Man, so I am unsure why my brain chose that (probably because FI is his laison and not me), but one of my bridesmaids is struggling to get a ride to the venue for her and her father and although I reached out to drive her she hasn't gotten back to me. It's more annoying than anything. I'll give her one more day before I reach out again and tell her I will just see her at her apartment to get her and her dad by 11:30 Nov 1.

- I am more worried about timing of the event than I think.

- FMIL was not in the dream which means I am not worried about her at all

- I will forget my sock bun!

Wedding dreams (nightmares?!)

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