Well I probably should have found words to post this earlier and then maybe last night wouldn't have happened.
On Thursday, my grandma had a heart attack in the morning and died that evening. They couldn't stabilize her heart. She is the second person close to me that had passed and I don't know how to deal with grief.
I went to work Friday, mostly because I have no family in the area and didn't want to sit alone. I went out with some newer friends last night, still hadn't cried about grandma. But, as I rarely do since I don't drink much, I got trashed. Like can't stand up drunk. Which is super abnormal for me. The guys in my group made sure I got home but I cried all the way home. And I cried about everything but my grandma, though I know all of the crying was actually about her. If that makes sense?
Well, nothing terrible happened. I'm sure I was obnoxious. But this morning I'm more than paying for it. I can't stop throwing up, though at this point there is nothing left to throw up. Painful dry heaves for the win.
I leave Monday for her funeral. I don't know how I'm going to handle that, but ok. Mostly I'm still in shock.