Wedding Etiquette Forum

Open seating vs seating assignment

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Re: Open seating vs seating assignment

  • We're doing assigned tables. Yes, everyone gets along, but I know single friend Jill will have a better time sitting with single cousin Aaron than with our old married hag family members. Or we are trying to set people up, whatever.
  • My friend just got married and at every event (3!) hosted by her MIL there were "fun" seating assignments designed to make people mingle. Dammit woman, I want to sit with people I know. However, if the choice were "fun" seating arrangements or open seating, I guess I would pick open seating. At least then there's a chance that we could have been seated with people we wanted to socialize with. 
    PrettyGirlLost
  • I like seating assignments because they prevent people from getting split up, but just be kind and thoughtful in the seating assignments. I was in a wedding this year and all of the WP dates (including FI, who was PISSED) were seated in an upstairs balcony area where they couldn't even see us for the majority of the reception. It sucked even worse than the normal not getting to sit with your SO because you're in the WP charade. 
  • PrettyGirlLostPrettyGirlLost A Land Filled with Unicorns and Cat Hair member
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    scribe95 said:

    The advantages of assigned seating are so many that I don't really understand not doing it. To me it usually comes down to "that's hard and I'm too lazy to do that."

    I've actually had my fair share of shitty seating that was assigned. . .like 50% of the sit down wedding receptions I have attended.

    I have been to 4 cocktail style receptions with no assigned seating but plenty of seats/tables and it was fine. The key is to have extra seating at those receptions, as is suggested by regs here all the time.

    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


  • I did open seating at my reception. That is the norm in my and my husband's family. But I made sure to add 3 extra tables with 8 chairs each to the floor plan over the number of people who RSVP'd yes. We still had about 10 no-shows so there were 6 empty tables. It worked out and everyone had a great time. We spent more money that way, but it would have caused a big issue in our families had we tried doing a seating chart. When I mentioned it to both my mom and MIL, they asked me if I was trying to treat everyone like children. I know that everyone else doesn't feel this way but my crazy family is the exception.

     *Formerly ctexasgurl26 and mrsridings061513*

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    PrettyGirlLost
  • I've experience both positively and negatively.  I really think a lot of it is just knowing your particular guests and having extra chairs.

    I am doing a seating arrangement because I am having a plated dinner and the venue said dinner would be more efficient knowing where the plates were going beforehand.  There is still going to be extra seats.  (I did my seating arrangement mockup - all RSVPs aren't in yet but I have a pretty solid idea with what I have and can adjust accordingly.) Some tables will have 6 or 7 people at an 8 person table.  Because I'd rather have more room than not enough and I also would like my guests sitting with people I know they are comfortable with.  Plus, I like the thought of having a chair for when I do my table visits.  lol


    PrettyGirlLost
  • I've had postive and negative experiences with both. To be honest though I've had more negative experiences with assigned seating though. I didn't have assigned seating at my wedding because in my circle it is the norm to only do seating charts for weddings with over 100 guest. I had 86 guest. I briefly considered having one but after talking to some of my relatives and friends H and I didn't think it was necessary.
  • The advantages of assigned seating are so many that I don't really understand not doing it. To me it usually comes down to "that's hard and I'm too lazy to do that."
    I've actually had my fair share of shitty seating that was assigned. . .like 50% of the sit down wedding receptions I have attended. I have been to 4 cocktail style receptions with no assigned seating but plenty of seats/tables and it was fine. The key is to have extra seating at those receptions, as is suggested by regs here all the time.
    I don't have a preference either way as far as being a guest.....but I will say the last wedding I attended I was chatting all during cocktail hour with a group of my cousins and having a great time....then when it came time to go into the reception room we all walked in together and realized we werent at the same table. My H and I were put with a few of my aunts and uncles at a different table.....which was fine but kind of sucky for conversation. Im sure the bride didn't mean anything by it, just trying to make sure that our family group was all seated around each other and we just happened to get grouped into that table. Meh

    We chose to do open seating at our wedding. I had plenty of additional seats so there was no issue of people not being able to find seats together. One of my parents good friends sat down with some of my H's co-workers and came and told us next morning at our hotel brunch that they had the best time with them and were so glad to happen to sit by them. I know it doesn't always work that way, but it was nice to hear!

    I've also been to open seating where there are not enough seats to provide options and that can get awkward FAST.

    I really feel this one is just personal preference....not really etiquette.
    newvalley
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