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Pre-wedding Parties
almostmarriedinwi
member
Bachelorette party dilemma
So, my maid of honor and bridesmaid are both out of state, and won't be able to attend or throw a bachelorette party. I know what I want, and have arranged for the location, my sister-in-law's father has a lake house he is letting us borrow for free. I don't want to have extravagant entertainment or a pub crawl, or a dinner out, I'd just like to buy stuff for the grill and invite my girlfriends to attend overnight, and bring whatever they want to drink, whether that is soda or alcohol. I'm not asking for or expecting gifts. The only entertainment I want is a couple of movies, and facials and pedicures for all, board games, card games, whatever people feel like doing.
Is it OK for me to be the hostess of this party? My Fiancee's family is already going to the expense of throwing me a bridal shower, and I've made it clear to my Mom that she is not invited to the bachelorette party, so I'm not asking her to host it. My sister-in-law has a full time job and a toddler, and doesn't have time to plan a party, so I don't know who else I could ask to do this, but I really want my friends who can come to come, and not have people thinking I'm a bridezilla (I've tried very hard not to be, and think I've succeeded until now).
The only other thing I can think of is to slip my cousin some cash and ask her to hostess it, but that kind of feels sneaky. But I feel like I'm trying to come up with excuses to throw myself a party, and everything I've read so far seems to imply that this is against all etiquette rules.
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Re: Bachelorette party dilemma
If someone isn't offering to host, they need to keep their mouth shut about whether you have a b-party or not. I understand they've contributed to the wedding, but bachelorettes and weddings are separate things. If this person pressures you, I'd say something like, "Well it was hard for my friends to host since everyone is out of town, so we're just having a casual girls' weekend. Which is actually perfect, because I wanted something casual and laid back" and then change the subjet if they wont let it go.
Having a party for yourself under someone else's name seems so bizarre. And I think it's so unbelievably inappropriate to tell someone they have to have a bachelorette party for themselves, regardless of how much money they are contributing to the wedding.
Can it be not talked about, who is "hosting"? You had this great weekend practically dropped into your lap, and it would be very ungracious for anyone to say you "should not" have had it, when it is so perfect.
Just do it, and disregard any unwanted opinions. Anyone who thinks you are hosting your own party and that is wrong, doesn't have to attend.