Everything with FMIL is a battle

larrygaga · September 2014

And it makes me really, really pissy. I'm having FI handle her now, and she's crazy so she will get mad for awhile then go back to being normal THEN go back to making more problem and thus the cycle continues.

I really, really wish our families weren't close so I could tell her to fuck right the fuck off and then never speak to her again.

She added 106 people to our 160 person guest list. Most of them are just random people. Since she's not helping to pay (so far, she said she would, but I don't trust it) I gave her a 10-15 person add on which I think would cover all the friends of his parents. I don't expect her to help (I'm a good girl) but seriously you don't chip in you don't get to invite 106 people. NOONONONONNONONO FUCK OFF

I didn't limit my parents because they are reasonable ass people and only added 15 people. They are helping to pay.

You guys will just have to deal with the grammar issues, and this is the last apology I will make for it. LOL SORRY

NYCMercedes · September 2014

Oh no. I'm sorry. What are you going to do?

JCbride2015 · September 2014

Oh GAAADDD. I would cut a bitch. What are you guys telling her about these 106 people??

smalfrie19 · September 2014

How bout you tell her no.. that you dont want that many people there and she has 10 - 15 people as previously stated.. and then have your fiance back you like a big boy.

Sugargirl1019 · September 2014

Whaaaaaat.

JCbride2015 said:
Oh GAAADDD. I would cut a bitch. What are you guys telling her about these 106 people??

This.

bethsmiles · September 2014

Holy shit...106 people?! She must have lost her damn mind!

larrygaga · September 2014

I won't be saying a thing to her. FI is going to text her (so she can't whine on the phone, he has no patience for it) and tell her shes got to cut it right back down. Unless she is willing to pay for the meals, in which case he needs a check before the invites go out.

Honestly, we have room for all these people but I am certainly not giving up my honeymoon to pay for their meals.

She keeps doing the thing where she promises they give good money for gifts but I don't really care or want to trust that. We make enough money to get by, I don't need to beg.

This is a joke right? At least FI is finally seeing how abusive and manipulative she is. I've always known it, but he hasn't. I don't want him to have a bad relationship with his mom, but I can't stand being treated like this and I can't stand him being treated like this.

I only post about an 1/8 of what she's really like.

larrygaga · September 2014

smalfrie19 said:

How bout you tell her no.. that you dont want that many people there and she has 10 - 15 people as previously stated.. and then have your fiance back you like a big boy.

Oh no you didn't

hellosweetie1015 · September 2014

106 people? SHIT NO. Sit her down and tell her that no, you are not sacrificing having the people who are special and dear to you just so she can invite Joe Schmoe Neighborman from fifteen years ago. Nopenopenope.

JCbride2015 · September 2014

larrygaga said:

I won't be saying a thing to her. FI is going to text her (so she can't whine on the phone, he has no patience for it) and tell her shes got to cut it right back down. Unless she is willing to pay for the meals, in which case he needs a check before the invites go out.

Honestly, we have room for all these people but I am certainly not giving up my honeymoon to pay for their meals.

She keeps doing the thing where she promises they give good money for gifts but I don't really care or want to trust that. We make enough money to get by, I don't need to beg.

This is a joke right? At least FI is finally seeing how abusive and manipulative she is. I've always known it, but he hasn't. I don't want him to have a bad relationship with his mom, but I can't stand being treated like this and I can't stand him being treated like this.

I only post about an 1/8 of what she's really like.

Are you sure you aren't marrying my FBIL? Because this is the kind of thing my FMIL would say-- "but they'll give you a great gift!"

ashley8918 · September 2014

larrygaga said:

smalfrie19 said:

How bout you tell her no.. that you dont want that many people there and she has 10 - 15 people as previously stated.. and then have your fiance back you like a big boy.

Oh no you didn't

Yeah, um, this was totally uncalled for. You made it pretty clear that he IS backing you.

blabla89 · September 2014

I imagine your FI texting her while you're sitting in the background like this:

Because seriously? 106 people? Whose wedding does she think this is?

larrygaga · September 2014

blabla89 said:

I imagine your FI texting her while you're sitting in the background like this:

Because seriously? 106 people? Whose wedding does she think this is?

Hers. She thinks it's her party.

steph861 · September 2014

Oh lawd. I'm going to file this under "Reason 2,458,372 Why I Hate People."

steve&me2014 · September 2014

I really feel for you. My ex MIL was a nightmare. I don't know how you will resolve this, but a comeback for the statement that they will give good gifts is to tell her you will be happy to give her as many wedding announcements (not invitations) to send out after the wedding as she wants. Good luck.

raissyrais · September 2014

Those Monsters in law...106 guests is really pushing it. Let's hope your FI will be able to put some sense back into her.

larrygaga · September 2014

raissyrais said:

Those Monsters in law...106 guests is really pushing it. Let's hope your FI will be able to put some sense back into her.

I'm sure. He will be a lot meaner to her than I could ever be, and he is her baby so she will do anything he wants. He knows he will be forgiven. I know she's insane so I kind of can't blame her. She used to be a wonderful woman before all these weddings in her family happened.

FutureMrsN3312 · September 2014

larrygaga said:

And it makes me really, really pissy. I'm having FI handle her now, and she's crazy so she will get mad for awhile then go back to being normal THEN go back to making more problem and thus the cycle continues.

I really, really wish our families weren't close so I could tell her to fuck right the fuck off and then never speak to her again.

She added 106 people to our 160 person guest list. Most of them are just random people. Since she's not helping to pay (so far, she said she would, but I don't trust it) I gave her a 10-15 person add on which I think would cover all the friends of his parents. I don't expect her to help (I'm a good girl) but seriously you don't chip in you don't get to invite 106 people. NOONONONONNONONO FUCK OFF

I didn't limit my parents because they are reasonable ass people and only added 15 people. They are helping to pay.

You guys will just have to deal with the grammar issues, and this is the last apology I will make for it. LOL SORRY

If your FMIL my MILs twin?!? You never know what you're going to get. Everything will be good for a while then all of a sudden its back to being hell. At this point I just don't let my guard down.

When I asked MIL for her guest list they sent me an excel sheet with 198 people on it. My head nearly exploded! We made her cut her list down at least 3 times. And then from there I made cuts. If we didn't know who they were they got cut. MIL wasn't happy but too bad. She kept telling us she would pay for her friends. I told FI to tell her when we see the money I'll send out those invites. Needless to say we never saw the money.

She also pulled the "but they'll give you a good gift". It's not about the gifts lady. She's got some balls I tell ya...

climbingsingle · September 2014

What the fucking fuck?

kmmssg · September 2014

larrygaga said:

I won't be saying a thing to her. FI is going to text her (so she can't whine on the phone, he has no patience for it) and tell her shes got to cut it right back down. Unless she is willing to pay for the meals, in which case he needs a check before the invites go out.

Honestly, we have room for all these people but I am certainly not giving up my honeymoon to pay for their meals.

She keeps doing the thing where she promises they give good money for gifts but I don't really care or want to trust that. We make enough money to get by, I don't need to beg.

This is a joke right? At least FI is finally seeing how abusive and manipulative she is. I've always known it, but he hasn't. I don't want him to have a bad relationship with his mom, but I can't stand being treated like this and I can't stand him being treated like this.

I only post about an 1/8 of what she's really like.

But it is far more than just meals for all those people crazy woman wants to invite. There are linens, centerpieces, favors, cake, invitations, postage, etc. And don't for get the gratuities on all of that. It is WAY more than just their meals!

larrygaga · September 2014

kmmssg said:

larrygaga said:

I won't be saying a thing to her. FI is going to text her (so she can't whine on the phone, he has no patience for it) and tell her shes got to cut it right back down. Unless she is willing to pay for the meals, in which case he needs a check before the invites go out.

Honestly, we have room for all these people but I am certainly not giving up my honeymoon to pay for their meals.

She keeps doing the thing where she promises they give good money for gifts but I don't really care or want to trust that. We make enough money to get by, I don't need to beg.

This is a joke right? At least FI is finally seeing how abusive and manipulative she is. I've always known it, but he hasn't. I don't want him to have a bad relationship with his mom, but I can't stand being treated like this and I can't stand him being treated like this.

I only post about an 1/8 of what she's really like.

But it is far more than just meals for all those people crazy woman wants to invite. There are linens, centerpieces, favors, cake, invitations, postage, etc. And don't for get the gratuities on all of that. It is WAY more than just their meals!

TRUE OMG. Okay, complete kibosh on those 100 people.

RebeccaFlower · September 2014

Your FMIL is crazy. And who are these people she wants to invite?! My parents have gotten invites and they've seriously side eyed since it looked like a total gift grab since they don't even know the couple/ not super close to the parents. I'm just baffled how she comes up that 100+.

larrygaga · September 2014

RebeccaFlower said:

Your FMIL is crazy. And who are these people she wants to invite?! My parents have gotten invites and they've seriously side eyed since it looked like a total gift grab since they don't even know the couple/ not super close to the parents. I'm just baffled how she comes up that 100+.

I think some are cousins of hers and FFIL, and most are friends or people she met at the grocery store. She's inviting more friends than FI and I. LOL NO

bekt14 · September 2014

Holy crap! Just say N... O... NOOOOOOOOOOO.

My FMIL is the opposite. She didn't invite anyone (cause I think she's in denial about her precious baby leaving the fam and marrying me), and now all her relatives are pissed that they didn't get invited so we have to send out emergency last-minute invites 17 FREAKING DAYS BEFORE THE WEDDING.

goldchocobo.defunct635829490514903826 · September 2014

GURL PREACH! 106 people???? Ummm I don't even have that many facebook friends. Are they people she encounters on the street? The post man? The crossing guard? Some drifter that said she had pretty hair?

My FMIL is acting out too, but it's mostly passive aggressive shit like threatening to take over our music (easily solved, just tell the DJ that that crazy lady over there is CUT OFF) and claiming this wedding is her day. She did stir up shit with invites though for a brief moment in time.

Hang in there. Stand your ground.

FutureMrsN3312 · September 2014

kmmssg said:

larrygaga said:

I won't be saying a thing to her. FI is going to text her (so she can't whine on the phone, he has no patience for it) and tell her shes got to cut it right back down. Unless she is willing to pay for the meals, in which case he needs a check before the invites go out.

Honestly, we have room for all these people but I am certainly not giving up my honeymoon to pay for their meals.

She keeps doing the thing where she promises they give good money for gifts but I don't really care or want to trust that. We make enough money to get by, I don't need to beg.

This is a joke right? At least FI is finally seeing how abusive and manipulative she is. I've always known it, but he hasn't. I don't want him to have a bad relationship with his mom, but I can't stand being treated like this and I can't stand him being treated like this.

I only post about an 1/8 of what she's really like.

But it is far more than just meals for all those people crazy woman wants to invite. There are linens, centerpieces, favors, cake, invitations, postage, etc. And don't for get the gratuities on all of that. It is WAY more than just their meals!

My MIL didn't realize that too! Just because you are going to cover their meals doesn't really cover the entire cost. That's how many more tables? Which means more centerpieces. More candy for the candy bar. More servers we have to tip.

Part of me REALLY wished that I could send her an invoice for all the extra costs that she tried giving us. That would have shut her up sooner.

kmmssg · September 2014

larrygaga said:

kmmssg said:

larrygaga said:

I won't be saying a thing to her. FI is going to text her (so she can't whine on the phone, he has no patience for it) and tell her shes got to cut it right back down. Unless she is willing to pay for the meals, in which case he needs a check before the invites go out.

Honestly, we have room for all these people but I am certainly not giving up my honeymoon to pay for their meals.

She keeps doing the thing where she promises they give good money for gifts but I don't really care or want to trust that. We make enough money to get by, I don't need to beg.

This is a joke right? At least FI is finally seeing how abusive and manipulative she is. I've always known it, but he hasn't. I don't want him to have a bad relationship with his mom, but I can't stand being treated like this and I can't stand him being treated like this.

I only post about an 1/8 of what she's really like.

But it is far more than just meals for all those people crazy woman wants to invite. There are linens, centerpieces, favors, cake, invitations, postage, etc. And don't for get the gratuities on all of that. It is WAY more than just their meals!

TRUE OMG. Okay, complete kibosh on those 100 people.

Glad that was helpful. I will never ever understand parents inviting people like that! Of our 4 girls 2 are my bio DDs and 2 are DH's bio DD's. We asked for no invites for my stepdds' weddings and for only 4 people at my bio DDs' weddings. They were 2 couples my girls have known since they were little and have CURRENT relationships with. They are my best friends. They were already on the guest lists when I asked if they could come. PARENTS... keep your requests to a bare minimum. The mailman's great uncle does not need to be invited! Man, that is a pet peeve of mine. (I do have to say all of the ILs were awesome about this too!)

HaileyDancingbear · September 2014

I was going to say something about how ridiculous attempting to nearly double your guest list is (I wouldn't be surprised, if you picked a venue for 160 people, if that addition would actually put you over the venue's capacity. Or even if it wouldn't you could say it would to make her stop bugging you.)

But I just keep on staring at the gif in your signature and snickering.

larrygaga · September 2014

HaileyDancingbear said:

I was going to say something about how ridiculous attempting to nearly double your guest list is (I wouldn't be surprised, if you picked a venue for 160 people, if that addition would actually put you over the venue's capacity. Or even if it wouldn't you could say it would to make her stop bugging you.)

But I just keep on staring at the gif in your signature and snickering.

I have a bumper stick of the little soot sprites in your gif....sooooooooooo.....

The venue holds like 250

JCbride2015 · September 2014

larrygaga said:

HaileyDancingbear said:

I was going to say something about how ridiculous attempting to nearly double your guest list is (I wouldn't be surprised, if you picked a venue for 160 people, if that addition would actually put you over the venue's capacity. Or even if it wouldn't you could say it would to make her stop bugging you.)

But I just keep on staring at the gif in your signature and snickering.

I have a bumper stick of the little soot sprites in your gif....sooooooooooo.....

The venue holds like 250

Idk how much your FMIL knows about this venue, but can you tell her the capacity is lower?

We are straight-up lying to FPILs about our venue capacity. As far as they will ever know, the fire code capacity is 178. Including us and vendors. They will never find out it can seat 200 guests + vendors. Because they will try to use every single chair they can scrounge up.

larrygaga · September 2014

Yeah, I'll probably have to lie to soften the blow.

Everything with FMIL is a battle

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