Getting married? Enjoy learning how rude and inconsiderate EVERYONE YOU KNOW IS.

jenijoyk · September 2014

Just kidding. But I have seriously been taken aback by all the "Can I bring a friend?" and "Can I bring my kid?" and "Are you going to try and lose weight before the wedding?" and "I wish you had registered at Bed Bath & Beyond so I could use a coupon for your gift." and "Your bridesmaids are in sequins? I hope they don't show you up!" etc. etc. etc.

And now our local baseball team has clinched a playoff spot and I have already been blessed with two people who have already RSVPed 'yes' telling me they won't be coming if there is a playoff game the night of our wedding. And of course, they might not know if there's a playoff game the night of wedding until two days before our wedding. NBD!

I mean, really? Commit or don't commit. If you don't think you're going to make it, just tell me. I won't cry myself to sleep. In fact, I am four weeks out from my wedding SO I'M ACTUALLY FAR BEYOND THE POINT WHERE I WILL EVEN ACTUALLY CARE. AT ALL. But I will happily save the $200 I am dropping on you and your spouse. I mean, REALLY? Who are these people? How am I related to and/or friends with so many people who think it's ok to do things like this????????????????????????????????

LDay2014 · September 2014

FSIL told us that all her friends who know FI are going to come to the (hosted) after party back at our house because we didn't invite them to a wedding and they want to come!!!!!!

Um....no. This is a wedding event, for wedding guests only. Your random friends that FI has met a handful of times are NOT invited to party on our dime. If you want to go party with your friends that night, more power to you, after party is optional. But this isn't a free for all for your friends.

esstee33 · September 2014

jenijoyk said:

Just kidding. But I have seriously been taken aback by all the "Can I bring a friend?" and "Can I bring my kid?" and "Are you going to try and lose weight before the wedding?" and "I wish you had registered at Bed Bath & Beyond so I could use a coupon for your gift." and "Your bridesmaids are in sequins? I hope they don't show you up!" etc. etc. etc.
And now our local baseball team has clinched a playoff spot and I have already been blessed with two people who have already RSVPed 'yes' telling me they won't be coming if there is a playoff game the night of our wedding. And of course, they might not know if there's a playoff game the night of wedding until two days before our wedding. NBD!
I mean, really? Commit or don't commit. If you don't think you're going to make it, just tell me. I won't cry myself to sleep. In fact, I am four weeks out from my wedding SO I'M ACTUALLY FAR BEYOND THE POINT WHERE I WILL EVEN ACTUALLY CARE. AT ALL. But I will happily save the $200 I am dropping on you and your spouse. I mean, REALLY? Who are these people? How am I related to and/or friends with so many people who think it's ok to do things like this????????????????????????????????

To the bolded: pretty much my entire dad's side of the family told me they were only coming to the ceremony and not the reception because (despite significant warning of my wedding ahead of time) that was the night they HAD to have their annual Halloween party. Not the night before or after. Only that night. The only members of my dad (well, really, stepmom's) family that RSVP'd yes either didn't show, or came and brought an uninvited child to our adults-only reception. Thanks, guys.

I think a lot of people just don't realize how much time and money goes into planning a wedding. Or just don't care.

bethsmiles · September 2014

I would tell the baseball people you need to know if they are coming by X date and can't wait until 2 days before the wedding due to finances and the caterer. It's really not acceptable for them to be that rude and you don't need to turn a blind eye to their rudeness. Call them out on it.

cowgirl8238 · September 2014

I had four no shows at our wedding...it really sucks. That was nearly $500 I could have saved and put towards the house...or bills...or a months rent!!! I understand shit happens, but people that can't decide if a baseball game is more important than families/friends wedding really annoy me too!! I'm sorry OP, I completely understand just how much crazy a wedding brings out.

I have been asked multiple times when I'm having babies...I just tell them I don't feel like getting fat for nine months before a baby just falls out of my vagina...is it a little harsh?? Sure, but stop. f'ing. asking.

jenijoyk · September 2014

Right? It's ridiculous. I'm just going to hold out on making a stink about it for another two weeks, and root extremely hard for whoever is playing against them in the division series. If they get knocked out in that series (which ends a week and a half before my wedding), then this will be a non-issue. Ugh. As if my hatred for this team wasn't already strong enough!!!!!!

There's a fountain in the middle of my wedding venue. There might be a rally monkey drowning in it at the start of the reception. Adding that to my florist's decor list: STRANGLED RALLY MONKEY FOR FOUNTAIN.

climbingsingle · September 2014

I totally feel you pain. We had two people cancel last night, 10 days out. I guess it's better than just no-showing, but you know, we've already paid.

My cousin asked to bring her dad (who's been divorced from my aunt for 15 years) and then asked to bring her dog.

jenijoyk · September 2014

Hahaha. Oh my god. No one has yet asked if they can bring their dog - that is INSANITY. I have only once seen a dog at a wedding, when my girlfriend insisted that her chihuahua be her flower girl. The chi peed on her train in the bridal suite while we were getting ready. Just say no to dogs at weddings.

thisismynickname2 · September 2014

OP it would be awesome if you told them that if a baseball playoff, which happens every year, is more important than a once in a lifetime event for you, to just say no now. Don't come, at all.

Etiquette would frown on that but people are assholes.

cowgirl8238 · September 2014

jenijoyk said:

Hahaha. Oh my god. No one has yet asked if they can bring their dog - that is INSANITY. I have only once seen a dog at a wedding, when my girlfriend insisted that her chihuahua be her flower girl. The chi peed on her train in the bridal suite while we were getting ready. Just say no to dogs at weddings.

That is too funny!!! I love aninmals, but they don't belong at weddings (unless they are SO's to the women attending)

simplyelise · September 2014

"I am four weeks out from my wedding SO I'M ACTUALLY FAR BEYOND THE POINT WHERE I WILL EVEN ACTUALLY CARE. AT ALL."

We are wedding day twins and this right here is exactly where I'm at. My mom's best friend moved about 20 hrs away a couple years ago and I invited her and her husband knowing they most likely wouldn't make it. They sent a no RSVP then last week the wife called my mom saying she wanted to come, but since she's flying in and we're two hours from a big airport, her son and DIL will drive her, "so is it okay if they come too?" FFS.

I sympathize with the playoffs thing too. I'm a big sports fan, but we're in an SEC town and already planned around when the team was in town, I certainly can't accommodate for playoff baseball too.

[Deleted User] · September 2014

I got married the same day as the Notre Dame/USC fb game that season. We really did try to work around it but couldn't.

And yet...my husband's huge Irish-Catholic family all made it. Priorities, people.

steph861 · September 2014

My head is about to esplode after reading all of these crazypants family/guests posts the last few days.

princessleia22 · September 2014

Yeah, luckily my destination wedding was such that I had to have a set guest list submitted 4 weeks before wedding, and nobody could be added after that. And most people had their travel arrangements made by then, so it was pretty sure who was coming. We did have one person back out last minute though... he didn't even tell me. Two weeks before wedding he said he would definitely be there... then day before wedding he still hasn't arrived, so I call him and he tells me he can't make it. Um, okay... thanks for letting me know?

Otherwise, I did get pretty lucky and didn't run into too many rude behaviors. Although it helps that we had a small destination wedding. I did get someone that called me to apologize for not being able to attend my wedding... someone that I never actually invited to my wedding. Maybe they thought their parents invite included the parents, all 3 adult kids, their 3 spouses, and 2 infant kids? Generally an invite addressed to 2 people, doesn't include 10 people, especially when all the "kids" are adults, married, have kids of their own and live hours away from the parents. It still kind of made me feel bad for not inviting them, though.

My sister had one person who RSVP'ed that her husband couldn't come, so it would just be her and her son. Then 2 weeks before the wedding she says her husband will come after all. My sister was so stressed with trying to figure out who to move around and how to adjust the seating chart to fit him in. Having 3 people makes it more complicated, since most people attend weddings as couples. But, she figures it out, adjusts everything, and revises escort cards. Two days later my sister calls me again, all pissed off because now the husband can't go after all! Luckily, she hadn't thrown out the original seating chart & escort cards yet. But, all the stress of changing everything was wasted!

ScoutF · September 2014

simplyelise said:

I sympathize with the playoffs thing too. I'm a big sports fan, but we're in an SEC town and already planned around when the team was in town, I certainly can't accommodate for playoff baseball too.

SITB
This is exactly why we didn't get married during football season. The one date that did work for our teams was also opening day of deer season. I'm sure people would have come, but I really didn't want to have to hear about that for the rest of our lives. His family loves to hunt.

Belle2188 · September 2014

Ugh, OP, I could not agree more. Really not sure why people don't understand that you need an accurate headcount prior to the wedding...especially people that have gotten married before! Even my parents are being shitty and refusing to call their friends that haven't responded. We are three weeks out and I have until the week before to give the final headcount, but the florist needs the final payment next week and I need to know how many people so I can do seating arrangements and figure out the right number of centerpieces. "Don't worry...the florist will know how many," my dad says. NO, DAD, THE FLORIST DOES NOT KNOW HOW MANY TABLES WE ARE HAVING AND YOU NEED TO CALL YOUR DEADBEAT FRIENDS IMMEDIATELY.

Rosebubbly · September 2014

jenijoyk said:
Right? It's ridiculous. I'm just going to hold out on making a stink about it for another two weeks, and root extremely hard for whoever is playing against them in the division series. If they get knocked out in that series (which ends a week and a half before my wedding), then this will be a non-issue. Ugh. As if my hatred for this team wasn't already strong enough!!!!!!
There's a fountain in the middle of my wedding venue. There might be a rally monkey drowning in it at the start of the reception. Adding that to my florist's decor list: STRANGLED RALLY MONKEY FOR FOUNTAIN.

Please oh please don't root against the Nats or the O's!! I'm assuming you're from the DMV?

I agree with the other poster though. Your event is once in a lifetime and the playoffs are every year.

mrscaty · September 2014

I'm 16 days out over here. My [recently separated, not yet divorced] sister called me today

"Soooooooo....don't hate me but, how much wiggle room do you have in your numbers? I want to bring a date."

Obviously, she's my sister and can bring someone but seriously, a little more notice would have been nice.

steph861 · September 2014

ladygoldfish said:
I'm 16 days out over here. My [recently separated, not yet divorced] sister called me today

"Soooooooo....don't hate me but, how much wiggle room do you have in your numbers? I want to bring a date."

Obviously, she's my sister and can bring someone but seriously, a little more notice would have been nice.

Ugh, the "don't hate me but" line. That's pretty much an invitation to hate you.

slothiegal · September 2014

steph11814 said: I'm 16 days out over here. My [recently separated, not yet divorced] sister called me today
"Soooooooo....don't hate me but, how much wiggle room do you have in your numbers? I want to bring a date."
Obviously, she's my sister and can bring someone but seriously, a little more notice would have been nice. Ugh, the "don't hate me but" line. That's pretty much an invitation to hate you.

Kind of like, "No offense, but...."

Yeah. Offense taken.

eta I am SO BAD at boxes this week.

Cookie Pusher · September 2014

I feel so lucky that none of our guests tried to pull any of this stuff!

Gustafson28 · September 2014

Rosebubbly said:

Right? It's ridiculous. I'm just going to hold out on making a stink about it for another two weeks, and root extremely hard for whoever is playing against them in the division series. If they get knocked out in that series (which ends a week and a half before my wedding), then this will be a non-issue. Ugh. As if my hatred for this team wasn't already strong enough!!!!!!
There's a fountain in the middle of my wedding venue. There might be a rally monkey drowning in it at the start of the reception. Adding that to my florist's decor list: STRANGLED RALLY MONKEY FOR FOUNTAIN.
Please oh please don't root against the or the O's!! I'm assuming you're from the DMV? I agree with the other poster though. Your event is once in a lifetime and the playoffs are every year.

Isn't that for The Angels?

acaton5 · September 2014

We are from a college town and getting married on a gameday and have heard plenty of sh*t about it. Boo to those people. And, for what it's worth, the game is Iowa v. Indiana. "Oh man, I'm so sorry you won't be able to watch mediocre team vs. terrible team because of my wedding. What a loss!"

kitsunegari89 · September 2014

My cousin who was also a BM threw a hissy fit because my parents would not shell out big bucks for an extravagant bridal party "spa day" as well as other needless extravagances in the days leading up to the wedding including hair and makeup and earrings that she wanted for everyone (and herself). She also wanted me to plan and finance an expensive bachelorette party for her to enjoy. She thought I was made of money. So glad that's over and we can both go back to pretending the other doesn't exist.

KatieinBkln · September 2014

acaton5 said:

We are from a college town and getting married on a gameday and have heard plenty of sh*t about it. Boo to those people. And, for what it's worth, the game is Iowa v. Indiana. "Oh man, I'm so sorry you won't be able to watch mediocre team vs. terrible team because of my wedding. What a loss!"

As a Wisconsin fan, I fully endorse your description of the situation.

climbingsingle · September 2014

I totally got the "don't hate me" from one of my best friends last night. She wants to break up with her boyfriend and not bring him to the wedding. What did she think I was going to say? "No! You can't break up with him yet. He has to be there!"

This was a total rebound dude. We all tried to tell her to slow down. She went from 0 to 100 in like 4 weeks. And now she can't stand him. Honestly, we're all relieved. The guy was a total jock strap.

moutonrouge · September 2014

Most of my friends have gotten married in the summer, but the few that don't have all had some kind of football nonsense going on during their ceremony. My HS BFF had a big Catholic mass during their alma mater's game, and you could see the groomsmen checking the scores when they were sitting in the pews. At another friend's wedding, the minister announced the score right after we were all seated to start. I like football and especially college football a lot, but it would be nice to not have it mentioned or worried over during at least the ceremony.

PrettyGirlLost · September 2014

jenijoyk said:

Just kidding. But I have seriously been taken aback by all the "Can I bring a friend?" and "Can I bring my kid?" and "Are you going to try and lose weight before the wedding?" and "I wish you had registered at Bed Bath & Beyond so I could use a coupon for your gift." and "Your bridesmaids are in sequins? I hope they don't show you up!" etc. etc. etc.
And now our local baseball team has clinched a playoff spot and I have already been blessed with two people who have already RSVPed 'yes' telling me they won't be coming if there is a playoff game the night of our wedding. And of course, they might not know if there's a playoff game the night of wedding until two days before our wedding. NBD!
I mean, really? Commit or don't commit. If you don't think you're going to make it, just tell me. I won't cry myself to sleep. In fact, I am four weeks out from my wedding SO I'M ACTUALLY FAR BEYOND THE POINT WHERE I WILL EVEN ACTUALLY CARE. AT ALL. But I will happily save the $200 I am dropping on you and your spouse. I mean, REALLY? Who are these people? How am I related to and/or friends with so many people who think it's ok to do things like this????????????????????????????????

OH FFS!!!!!

I openly judge the shit out of people who can't miss one.single.sporting game- especially a fucking baseball game when their are no fewer than a million between April-October. I get that it's the play-offs, but is a baseball game really that much more important to you than a close friend's or family member's wedding? Seriously?

Watch the game on your phone during the reception if you are that obsessed.

I'm a huge hockey fan, we are season ticket holders, but I'd never go to a hockey game over a wedding.

esstee33 said:

jenijoyk said:

Just kidding. But I have seriously been taken aback by all the "Can I bring a friend?" and "Can I bring my kid?" and "Are you going to try and lose weight before the wedding?" and "I wish you had registered at Bed Bath & Beyond so I could use a coupon for your gift." and "Your bridesmaids are in sequins? I hope they don't show you up!" etc. etc. etc.
And now our local baseball team has clinched a playoff spot and I have already been blessed with two people who have already RSVPed 'yes' telling me they won't be coming if there is a playoff game the night of our wedding. And of course, they might not know if there's a playoff game the night of wedding until two days before our wedding. NBD!
I mean, really? Commit or don't commit. If you don't think you're going to make it, just tell me. I won't cry myself to sleep. In fact, I am four weeks out from my wedding SO I'M ACTUALLY FAR BEYOND THE POINT WHERE I WILL EVEN ACTUALLY CARE. AT ALL. But I will happily save the $200 I am dropping on you and your spouse. I mean, REALLY? Who are these people? How am I related to and/or friends with so many people who think it's ok to do things like this????????????????????????????????

To the bolded: pretty much my entire dad's side of the family told me they were only coming to the ceremony and not the reception because (despite significant warning of my wedding ahead of time) that was the night they HAD to have their annual Halloween party. Not the night before or after. Only that night. The only members of my dad (well, really, stepmom's) family that RSVP'd yes either didn't show, or came and brought an uninvited child to our adults-only reception. Thanks, guys.

I think a lot of people just don't realize how much time and money goes into planning a wedding. Or just don't care.

It's not about the time or money, it's about respect and priorities.

Halloween is my favorite holiday of all time, but it's an annual event. Weddings are typically, hopefully, a once in a lifetime event.

Reschedule your fucking party!

I just can't with people today.

princessleia22 · September 2014

Football season was one of the scheduling factors for our wedding. My DH has NEVER missed watching his favorite NFL team... well, except one game because he had to have emergency surgery (although, I'm sure he probably tried to get them to wait). So, our wedding definitely couldn't be scheduled anytime between Aug.-Feb., so as not to conflict with NFL games. And I could see him skipping a wedding over a football game, or if it was really close family member he may attend, but would probably be streaming the game to his phone during the wedding. And FYI, his team sucks. For some of my family, college football could be a conflict during that time frame also. They probably wouldn't skip the wedding, but would probably complain a lot.

If the game is more important than the wedding, then just skip the wedding. You aren't required to go. But, unless is somebody distant, wedding should probably be higher on the priority list.

PrettyGirlLost · September 2014

nicoann said:

Football season was one of the scheduling factors for our wedding. My DH has NEVER missed watching his favorite NFL team... well, except one game because he had to have emergency surgery (although, I'm sure he probably tried to get them to wait). So, our wedding definitely couldn't be scheduled anytime between Aug.-Feb., so as not to conflict with NFL games. And I could see him skipping a wedding over a football game, or if it was really close family member he may attend, but would probably be streaming the game to his phone during the wedding. And FYI, his team sucks. For some of my family, college football could be a conflict during that time frame also. They probably wouldn't skip the wedding, but would probably complain a lot.
If the game is more important than the wedding, then just skip the wedding. You aren't required to go. But, unless is somebody distant, wedding should probably be higher on the priority list.

Yeah, no.

It's already hard enough to schedule a wedding around the availability of VIPs, the churches, and the reception venues because you have to compete with everyone else trying to get married for a date.

No way in hell I'd schedule a once in a life time event around any sport. . . and our NFL team is arguably one of the most popular, if not the most popular, team in the country. Which is not saying they are having a good year, but at this point and with how many SuperBowl rings we have, who cares? ;-)

I mean what do these people do if they have to attend a funeral during Monday Night football or on a Thursday or Saturday?

What are they going to do if God forbid their wives go into labor during a game? "I can't take you to the hospital until half time babe, do you think you can just hold it?"

PRIORITIES!!!!

casey8784 · September 2014

simplyelise said:
I sympathize with the playoffs thing too. I'm a big sports fan, but we're in an SEC town and already planned around when the team was in town, I certainly can't accommodate for playoff baseball too.

nicoann said:

Football season was one of the scheduling factors for our wedding. My DH has NEVER missed watching his favorite NFL team... well, except one game because he had to have emergency surgery (although, I'm sure he probably tried to get them to wait). So, our wedding definitely couldn't be scheduled anytime between Aug.-Feb., so as not to conflict with NFL games. And I could see him skipping a wedding over a football game, or if it was really close family member he may attend, but would probably be streaming the game to his phone during the wedding. And FYI, his team sucks. For some of my family, college football could be a conflict during that time frame also. They probably wouldn't skip the wedding, but would probably complain a lot.
If the game is more important than the wedding, then just skip the wedding. You aren't required to go. But, unless is somebody distant, wedding should probably be higher on the priority list.

Luckily my Red Sox suck so badly this year that if they don't win 4 more games, they will have a worse record than the dreadful "black-hole-year" of Bobby Valentine...so I don't need to worry about any post-season.

We booked our date/venue without even thinking about football season, which could've been catastrophic since we're getting married on a Sunday, but we lucked out - the Pats have a 1 pm game and it's not a "big rivalry" game, and FI's Giants have a bye week. His cousins who are Jets fans, they're on their own and sucks to be them

(We are jokingly thinking about adding a page to the welcome letter to let guests know what bars/restaurants are good sports-watching places since 99% of guests are OOT...)

Getting married? Enjoy learning how rude and inconsiderate EVERYONE YOU KNOW IS.

Re: Getting married? Enjoy learning how rude and inconsiderate EVERYONE YOU KNOW IS.

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