Hosting Fails - True Stories

Ndelible · September 2014

When my sister came by today and I was showing them all of the information on the different options and venues and whatnot, she would say, "well Yolanda just had strawberries and chips after the ceremony. Why do you have do all this?" I was like, "what?" And then I was like, "she got married?" I said that I wasn't Yolanda.

And then, she brought up one of her friends who got married in Vegas. She said after the ceremony, they went to the room for cake and water and then they left. Really? Not even punch?

I was like, okay, maybe we can save money on the bubbly.....

I know you all have amazing stories but I thought these two were funny. Strawberries and chips? Who does that?

JennyColada · September 2014

I don't even understand how that makes sense? Who's putting this event together that things "strawberries and chips" sounds reasonable. Lol.

Ndelible · September 2014

JennyColada said:

I don't even understand how that makes sense? Who's putting this event together that things "strawberries and chips" sounds reasonable. Lol.

I know! Really? I don't even see how that happens, unless both items were on sale at Ralphs!

Ndelible · September 2014

smichek said:

Was Yolanda pregnant and having a craving? I mean strawberries and chips, really?

I guess the benefit of being the last of my circle to marry (I'm 22 and the last of my circle to get married...) is that I got to learn from all of their mistakes. Like my bestie only providing two plain grocery store cheesecakes for dessert at her wedding of 70 people.

"Yolanda" is the MOB. I wasn't invited (thank goodness?) Come on, at least sandwiches from Costco or strawberries with cream cheese!

lurkergirl · September 2014

I already mentioned my bad experiences with open seating in the etiquette thread. That's really the only major faux pas I've experienced.

Senecaf · September 2014

Strawberries and chips. Haha how does that even happen? I was at a wedding recently that was dry, mostly. The bride and groom had a bottle of champagne for themselves and all of the other guests shared sparking grape juice. I thought that was questionable hosting.

afox007 · September 2014

My uncle had a cash bar at his wedding, which sadly was a step up from the potluck wedding he had the first time he got married.

He did up the tacky factor on the cash bar by wearing a handful of bangle bracelets and giving them to people who bought him a drink. His logic was he didn't want to get super drunk so he was no longer accepting drinks when he was out of bracelets. A few of the guests including me kept slipping the bracelets back on him so he was completely drunk by the end of the night.

lyndausvi · September 2014

DH did a wedding last night. DH doesn't do cakes, nor does he normally outsource them. He does have some preferred vendors to recommend.

The bride didn't care about cake. Like at all. She found some random person to make a small cake and a small sheet cake. DH said it was the worse thing he had seen. Plus it was very dry. Anyway, they had enough cake for about 60 people. The wedding had 167. People were asking for more, but he didn't have any to give.

So I can forgive not enough cake if you had other dessert options. You guessed it, they didn't. So more than half of the guests didn't get dessert.

Not enough dessert for everyone is wrong in my book.

bethsmiles · September 2014

I went to a wedding a few years ago that had 5 long speeches followed by 6 spotlight dances and a cash bar. It was hands down the worst wedding I've ever been to. The food was good but not good enough to make up how incredibly boring the reception was.

Inkdancer · September 2014

I am, unfortunately, one of those who did not have enough cake. Didn't find out about that until today. I ordered an extra 1/2 sheet cake and the bakery did not deliver it. They are about to get an earful from me.

huskypuppy14 · September 2014

One of my very good friends had a cash bar after cocktail hour except for the wedding party. There was wine on the tables and it was a Sunday wedding, but still tacky.

Her mother also hosted her baby shower a couple years later and we had to pay for non alcoholic drinks (though I wouldn't blame my friend for that one.)

What's interesting is that this friend is normally a stickler for proper etiquette, so I don't know what happened with her wedding. I blame being one of the first people in her circle to get married.

I know she would change a few things if she were getting married now. She was the only one in our circle to have a cash bar at her wedding (and we live in Massachusetts for those of you that think it's the norm here).

climbingsingle · September 2014

Wtf. Strawberries and chip? What kind of chips? I feel like I need to know this.

I once went to a wedding where dinner wasn't served until 10pm. The reception had started at 6. I was dying. And then the meal was all seafood. We weren't even given a choice - just served. What if I was allergic? So weird.

SBmini · September 2014

There is nothing that says you need to host a full meal- it all depends on what time you get married. If you have a late afternoon wedding and an evening reception then absolutely you need to provide a meal. But if you get married in the afternoon and have a short reception, then cake and punch (yes, there should be punch) is perfectly acceptable. Depending on when these people got married, it isn't necessarily a fail.

Ndelible · September 2014

Senecaf said:

Strawberries and chips. Haha how does that even happen? I was at a wedding recently that was dry, mostly. The bride and groom had a bottle of champagne for themselves and all of the other guests shared sparking grape juice. I thought that was questionable hosting.

Yes, questionable indeed.

Ndelible · September 2014

afox007 said:

My uncle had a cash bar at his wedding, which sadly was a step up from the potluck wedding he had the first time he got married. He did up the tacky factor on the cash bar by wearing a handful of bangle bracelets and giving them to people who bought him a drink. His logic was he didn't want to get super drunk so he was no longer accepting drinks when he was out of bracelets. A few of the guests including me kept slipping the bracelets back on him so he was completely drunk by the end of the night.

That is awesome!

Ndelible · September 2014

lyndausvi said:

DH did a wedding last night. DH doesn't do cakes, nor does he normally outsource them. He does have some preferred vendors to recommend.

The bride didn't care about cake. Like at all. She found some random person to make a small cake and a small sheet cake. DH said it was the worse thing he had seen. Plus it was very dry. Anyway, they had enough cake for about 60 people. The wedding had 167. People were asking for more, but he didn't have any to give.

So I can forgive not enough cake if you had other dessert options. You guessed it, they didn't. So more than half of the guests didn't get dessert.

Not enough dessert for everyone is wrong in my book.

OUCH!

Ndelible · September 2014

bethsmiles said:

I went to a wedding a few years ago that had 5 long speeches followed by 6 spotlight dances and a cash bar. It was hands down the worst wedding I've ever been to. The food was good but not good enough to make up how incredibly boring the reception was.

So many events have people giving these loonnng ass speeches. I thought most people were afraid of public speaking.

Ndelible · September 2014

Inkdancer said:

I am, unfortunately, one of those who did not have enough cake. Didn't find out about that until today. I ordered an extra 1/2 sheet cake and the bakery did not deliver it. They are about to get an earful from me.

Go get 'em girl!

Ndelible · September 2014

ClimbingBrideNY said:

Wtf. Strawberries and chip? What kind of chips? I feel like I need to know this. I once went to a wedding where dinner wasn't served until 10pm. The reception had started at 6. I was dying. And then the meal was all seafood. We weren't even given a choice - just served. What if I was allergic? So weird.

Dunno, but I'll ask my sister. It was a few years ago. I was thinking maybe those Mexican cinnamon type??? Maybe? Hopefully?

Ndelible · September 2014

SBmini said:

There is nothing that says you need to host a full meal- it all depends on what time you get married. If you have a late afternoon wedding and an evening reception then absolutely you need to provide a meal. But if you get married in the afternoon and have a short reception, then cake and punch (yes, there should be punch) is perfectly acceptable. Depending on when these people got married, it isn't necessarily a fail.

What is "late afternoon"? I would think:

anytime before noon = breakfast/brunch/pastries & coffee
12-1 = lunch
2-4 = cake & punch time
5 on = dinner

I'm going by ceremony start times with hosting directly afterwards.

bethsmiles · September 2014

Ndelible said:

bethsmiles said:

I went to a wedding a few years ago that had 5 long speeches followed by 6 spotlight dances and a cash bar. It was hands down the worst wedding I've ever been to. The food was good but not good enough to make up how incredibly boring the reception was.

So many events have people giving these loonnng ass speeches. I thought most people were afraid of public speaking.

I teach public speaking and I consider it my gift to all future wedding guests to emphasize that a toast is not a speech, it should be short, sweet and to the point. You are afraid of public speaking? Great, don't use a wedding to conquer that fear and give a 20 minute speech.

wandajune6 · September 2014

I went to a self-catered wedding once. The bride worked food service (college cafeteria) and thought she could handle it. It was buffet and my then-boyfriend and I were one of the last tables. It was completely empty when our table got called- all that was left were a few bottles of salad dressing. We went back to our table empty-handed and told the table next to us not to bother going up.

We were in the middle of nowhere or we would have ordered in a pizza. Instead, we left early and went out for dinner.

ETA: I forgot to add- it was a themed wedding and we were all given costume specs. I got stuck making Venetian-style masks for my date and I!

My parents speak fondly about a friend's wedding from back in the early 70's. They had a backyard wedding and served Chinese out of garbage cans. I guess it was a ridiculously good night (though I'm assuming they had a lot of liquid and herbal help).

ShellD13 · September 2014

A distant family member got married and on the invitation they told their guests that they were going to a local restaurant (think Chili's) for dinner and everyone would be expected to pay for their own meal!

abbyj700 · September 2014

wandajune6 said:

I went to a self-catered wedding once. The bride worked food service (college cafeteria) and thought she could handle it. It was buffet and my then-boyfriend and I were one of the last tables. It was completely empty when our table got called- all that was left were a few bottles of salad dressing. We went back to our table empty-handed and told the table next to us not to bother going up.

We were in the middle of nowhere or we would have ordered in a pizza. Instead, we left early and went out for dinner.

ETA: I forgot to add- it was a themed wedding and we were all given costume specs. I got stuck making Venetian-style masks for my date and I!

My parents speak fondly about a friend's wedding from back in the early 70's. They had a backyard wedding and served Chinese out of garbage cans. I guess it was a ridiculously good night (though I'm assuming they had a lot of liquid and herbal help).

I really want to go to this wedding...

Liatris2010 · September 2014

I went to a wedding with no seating. There was seating at the church, and that was the last seat anyone saw. The cocktail hour didn't have any place to sit, but I was happy mingling and didn't really care, although I was worried about where I'd be sitting for the reception because no one was able to find escort cards. When we got to the reception area there were no tables, and I was still confused because where are we going to sit and eat. Oh......we're not. We are standing and eating because there is not a single chair anywhere in the room. Umm, okay. It was very strange. Even my H, who is not as prickly about these things as I am was all, "I had fun, but it was BS that there was no place to sit." Indeed. On the upside, if you want to make sure the older guests go home soon and the younger ones dance (hey, you're on your feet either way!) eliminate chairs. Works like a charm.

[Deleted User] · September 2014

wandajune6 said:

I went to a self-catered wedding once. The bride worked food service (college cafeteria) and thought she could handle it. It was buffet and my then-boyfriend and I were one of the last tables. It was completely empty when our table got called- all that was left were a few bottles of salad dressing. We went back to our table empty-handed and told the table next to us not to bother going up.

We were in the middle of nowhere or we would have ordered in a pizza. Instead, we left early and went out for dinner.

ETA: I forgot to add- it was a themed wedding and we were all given costume specs. I got stuck making Venetian-style masks for my date and I!

My parents speak fondly about a friend's wedding from back in the early 70's. They had a backyard wedding and served Chinese out of garbage cans. I guess it was a ridiculously good night (though I'm assuming they had a lot of liquid and herbal help).

Wow. That made me rage even thinking about it. I would have left that minute, after snagging my gift back.

l9i · September 2014

Sadly I think I'll have news from one this weekend....

The couple (Bride is family friend of H) is very young and are doing most everything themselves. I have seen that they lack etiquette (I try to give them the benefit becuase neither had a strong parental influence to teach them these things?) ... The invitation housed about 4 different registry inserts and for the shower we had to fill out our own envelopes for thank you cards and were told "because the bride won't have time". Well I guess she didn't have time to write them either because I never got them.

falsara · September 2014

My cousin got married in a Catholic ceremony on 9/10/11. She then proceeded to have a 3 hour gap, during which there was food for only the first 15 minutes. WHile we were starving, her and her Party were getting sloshed on the Party Bus after taking pictures.

penguin44 · September 2014

cwradford said:

My cousin got married in a Catholic ceremony on 9/10/11. She then proceeded to have a 3 hour gap, during which there was food for only the first 15 minutes. WHile we were starving, her and her Party were getting sloshed on the Party Bus after taking pictures.

I have been to a wedding like this. It was in a small town too. We went to the only store in town, Walmart, to get beer during the gap.

lightningsnow · September 2014

We attended a wedding for our mutual friends back inn 2011. There were not enough seats for the outdoor ceremony. It was a hot day and on grass. Thankfully I chose to wear wedges but my feet still hurt after a while. Then during the bouquet toss, one of the BMs-who was sloshed and IIRC was underaged- nearly knocked me out elbowing me in the face. The incident is on their wedding video and all of their wedding photos. I am appalled that they didn't think to have that shit edited out. ETA: There were paragraphs... stupid TK

AuroraRose41 · September 2014

I discussed this one a while ago, but I went to a good friend's wedding in July that was the worst one I have ever been to. The ceremony location was almost a mile away from the hotel listed on the invitation, 2 hour gap after walking back to the hotel in 85 degree heat and 100% humidity, no seating during the cocktail hour despite elderly guests who had walkers, and a 20 minute speech from each person in the bridal party. At least the food was good and there was an open bar....

I was really surprised, as my friend told me about dinner parties they attended while at college (Harvard graduates!) where they had to learn proper etiquette. I also really didn't appreciate seeing the fireworks at the end of the night when they could have spent that money properly hosting the gap instead.

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