Etiquette

Thank-you's went out late...I'm so embarrassed

Well, I became one of the brides that have always irked me and I want to just tuck my tail in shame. DH and I got married a month a half ago and I've just gotten around to writing thank-you's and getting them in the mail. I didn't mean to send them out so late, but we actually just picked them up from my mother's this past weekend. Long story short, we had a destination wedding and my mother took most of the presents home with her, and DH parents took a few gifts home with them, as we were leaving for the HM after the wedding and they wouldn't fit in our car. Well we got back from the HM and then it was two weeks of moving and relocating to where DH lives. This is still a few hours from my mother's and in the hustle and bustle of getting moved and settled and starting a new job, we just have not had time to pick everything up. I feel terrible that it has taken this long to get everything unpacked and get cards done. I know it's a silly fear, but I'm worried that our friends and family are side-eyeing us. Should I say anything in our cards? Am I way behind on things or do you think most people will still be upset that they've gone out this late? 
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Re: Thank-you's went out late...I'm so embarrassed

  • Honestly, after about 2 months I would start to assume you just weren't sending them. Given everything that's kept you busy since your wedding, I think it's understandable and I imagine most of your guests are aware of your living/moving situation. You can certainly say a quick "Sorry for taking so long to get this card out to you, things have been crazy with all the moving after we returned from the honeymoon!" but I do think just getting the cards in the mail ASAP is fine
    PrettyGirlLostPennyBlossom2311
  • You sent them, so you are all good! In my opinion, 6-8 weeks is no big deal. Anything longer than 3 months would be pushing it. :-) again, just my 2 cents.
    PrettyGirlLostPennyBlossom2311huskypuppy14
  • chibiyuichibiyui The Boring Part of MD member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 5 Answers
    Agree with JellyBean, just finish them and get them in the mail. All things considered, a month and a half isn't that bad. Ideal, no, but most of your guests know you went on a HM after the wedding and then moved, so I don't think they'll side eye you. 

    Just get them out. Better late then never. 
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    Anniversary
    PennyBlossom2311
  • wrigleyvillewrigleyville Chicago member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    Six weeks isn't the end of the world. I usually start wondering after about a month, but if I'd known you'd taken a longer honeymoon and then moved, there would be some leeway. I wouldn't say anything; just get them out ASAP.

    PennyBlossom2311
  • Honestly, after about 2 months I would start to assume you just weren't sending them. Given everything that's kept you busy since your wedding, I think it's understandable and I imagine most of your guests are aware of your living/moving situation. You can certainly say a quick "Sorry for taking so long to get this card out to you, things have been crazy with all the moving after we returned from the honeymoon!" but I do think just getting the cards in the mail ASAP is fine
    Have you already sent them? I wouldn't do the bold. The fact is that you didn't make time to do them, don't write down an excuse. When people do this, I have a hard time believing you didn't watch any tv in two months. Just be gracious and mail them out asap. Most people will know your circumstances anyway. 
    ShesSoColdJellyBean52513PennyBlossom2311Blue_Bird
  • climbingwifeclimbingwife NYC 'burbs member
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    I think you're totally fine! 6 weeks isn't bad. As along as you get them out this week, you're good.

  • ShesSoColdShesSoCold bend over and I'll show ya mod
    Moderator 5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its
    Honestly, after about 2 months I would start to assume you just weren't sending them. Given everything that's kept you busy since your wedding, I think it's understandable and I imagine most of your guests are aware of your living/moving situation. You can certainly say a quick "Sorry for taking so long to get this card out to you, things have been crazy with all the moving after we returned from the honeymoon!" but I do think just getting the cards in the mail ASAP is fine
    Have you already sent them? I wouldn't do the bold. The fact is that you didn't make time to do them, don't write down an excuse. When people do this, I have a hard time believing you didn't watch any tv in two months. Just be gracious and mail them out asap. Most people will know your circumstances anyway. 
    I agree. I would side-eye the excuse way more than a 6-week thank you. 
    Image result for someecard betting someone half your shit youll love them forever
    PennyBlossom2311
  • Seriously--six weeks is not bad at all.  Depending on the size of the wedding, the length of the honeymoon, and whether there's a move/new job happening after the wedding, I usually don't start to really wonder about thank-you cards until about three months out.  In fact, I have one friend who is four months out and I still haven't received a thank-you, but she had a 350 person wedding, and this summer she moved and started an EXTREMELY prestigious and demanding job, so while I'm a little annoyed, I'm also cutting her a bit of slack and keeping the faith that a card will show up soon.  Just get them done and out ASAP.  You're fine.
    PennyBlossom2311
  • larrygagalarrygaga Czechoslovakia member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    I don't care how long it takes, I would rather get one than not.
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    PennyBlossom2311JeeGooDowster
  • holyguacamole79holyguacamole79 a taco truck in Houston member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    I would not side eye 6 weeks at all. I'm also in the "better late than never" camp, and am still wondering where my thank you is from a wedding I attended last December.
    PennyBlossom2311
  • I'm at three weeks after and feel like a butt, so I know how you feel. But! I still agree with better late than never.

    The Mr and I have been to quite a few weddings and baby showers in the last year or so...and haven't gotten a single thank you. I'd rather get a late one that none at all.

    PennyBlossom2311
  • Thanks everyone! I appreciate it. I do get a little upset if I give a gift and I don't get a thank you and am also in the camp with PP saying that someone can't tell me they haven't had a lazy day or some spare time to write some thank-you's. I guess that's why it embarrassed me and why I was pretty sure people were side-eyeing us. We did just pick up the presents last weekend though, and didn't open them until we got them home.... Still bugged me. But, cards are out now and we should be good to go. Thanks again!
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  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 Ravens & Bohs & Crabs & O's member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    Six weeks is nothing. Four months or more, then that is starting to get a bit of a side-eye from me. I once got a TY a full year after the wedding. I still judge that couple because seriously, a year to get thank you notes out?

    bumbletiger88PennyBlossom2311
  • crackktheskyycrackktheskyy Stars Hollow member
    500 Love Its 100 Comments First Anniversary Name Dropper
    Don't be so hard on yourself! 

    I'm usually super flexible about thank you cards --- as long as I get one! Plus, if I know a friend is going on a long honeymoon or is going through a move, I cut some serious slack. I mean, as long as it's delivered within the realm of reason, I'm cool with it.

    I went to a "black tie optional" wedding 3 years ago. I never received a thank you note for my shower gift or the wedding gift. I haven't forgotten.
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  • MairePoppyMairePoppy Connecticut mod
    Moderator Tenth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    Just finish and mail those thank you notes, asap. IMO, anything within two months is acceptable for wedding thank you notes. And even with those who are much later, I stop side-eyeing as soon as I receive the note.
                       
    JeeGooDowster
  • I'm at 5 weeks, with only 20 more to write. But we had a funeral the week before the wedding, a wedding we were both in two weeks after ours and I've been sick (Like stuck in bed coughing up a lung sick) for the last two weeks. DH wanted to help but no one can read his handwriting. 

    I saw a lovely post on FB from DH's cousin who got married in June. 'So sorry to everyone, I have about 300 TY's to write, with only 150 down so far! Will have them out soon!'

    On the other hand, the wedding we were in two weeks after ours got theirs out four days ago. So, I'm seeing lots of variation. 

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  • edited September 2014
    I completely understand your embarrassment and discomfort regarding the situation. While your worry is definitely justified now that they'll be in the mail ASAP, I wouldn't stress about it anymore. I can't speak for everyone, but I honestly don't mind if the "Thank You" cards come to me even 3-4 months post-wedding. Couples have so much going on: honeymoon, moving, work, etc. and I do as well. I'm not sitting around and watching the calendar while checking my mailbox every day to ensure that the newlyweds don't pass a certain time limit. Yes, if I receive them six months later, I might be a little "huh", but again as long as I get a heartfelt note of thanks - that's all that matters. I'll probably make sure that FI and I write ours ASAP just because I'm so lax about this etiquette rule that I'm sure I'll let too much time pass if I don't do them right away. :)
    PennyBlossom2311
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