Closed due to rudeness

JesseArthursMom · September 2014

*Barbie* · September 2014

thefuturemrsj15 said:

Should I be offended that my fiancé's family is basically ditching our wedding??
My fiancé's family had originally planned a family trip to Disneyland next September. Why during the school year I'm not sure but I think because the oldest sister's kids will be on a school break (they have year round school) then but the rest will as far as I know. Right off this wasn't going to work for my 2 teenage kids I'm bringing with me to the marriage. We announced our engagement & only one sister said anything congratulatory & his parents.
The FI's stepmom requested that we change the date due to a conflict with work schedules of one FBIL & FFIL & she had said that everyone could caravan up to our wedding instead of going to the theme park. That's fine but the FILs are still planning on going to Disneyland & haven't said one word except one sister about coming to the wedding. The FstepMIL said they'll try & make it but she sounded like she could care less. I'm a little confused & not sure how much to ask them because one of the reasons they asked after having a family discussion the FI & I were not a part of until after things had been decided & changes of our plans requested.
My family is excited for everything. It's a second marriage for us both & he's marrying outside of his faith. Maybe this is why there's a lack of enthusiasm. Either way my FI is very disappointed & hurt & this isn't a great start to relations between our families when mine is helping so much with everything & welcomed him & our soon to be here baby with open arms.

So, you checked the dates, knew they had a Disney trip planned, and still planned a wedding during that time,...and now you're mad that they are going to Disney rather than the wedding? Am I missing something?

I'm not cancelling my already planned family vacation because you decide to plan your wedding during that same time frame. I don't care how you're related to me.

JesseArthursMom · September 2014

No that's not what I said I said they told us they would come to our wedding instead.

What I said above was we had originally set our wedding date & then were informed the family had decided we should change our date to accommodate them:

The FI's stepmom requested that we change the date due to a conflict with work schedules of one FBIL & FFIL & she had said that everyone could caravan up to our wedding instead of going to the theme park after she discussed it with my fiancé's entire family & then informed us what they'd decided we should do.

There's no reason to be nasty

GBCK · September 2014

I'm sorry, but I'm still not quite getting it--and I'm guessing that's not just me.

Fi's stepmom asked that you change the date TO conflict with vacation? And then the rest of the crew has decided to still go on their vacation?

Or that you picked a date at the end/beginning of vacation?

(Maybe try this again with real or imaginary dates.

"We picked October 1, but SMIL wanted Oct 7, knowing vacation was oct 8-14....")

larrygaga · September 2014

thefuturemrsj15 said:

No that's not what I said I said they told us they would come to our wedding instead.
What I said above was we had originally set our wedding date & then were informed the family had decided we should change our date to accommodate them:
The FI's stepmom requested that we change the date due to a conflict with work schedules of one FBIL & FFIL & she had said that everyone could caravan up to our wedding instead of going to the theme park after she discussed it with my fiancé's entire family & then informed us what they'd decided we should do.

There's no reason to be nasty

VarunaTT · September 2014

Test. I don't think "closed" happens magically on it's own. I don't understand the OP, actually. You are missing words or something, but you haven't made yourself clear.

VarunaTT · September 2014

http://forums.theknot.com/discussion/1039646/what-to-do-about-my-fiance-s-stepmother#latest

Something about all of this doesn't make sense. You've got a date set for April 2016 according to this post.

6fsn · September 2014

I didn't even try. The words weren't making sense so I didn't have anything to say.

MesmrEwe · September 2014

Yea - Mods didn't close it, she didn't like what people had to say so she picked up her post and went home...

I did the "woah here! Two kids from previous relationship(s), one on the way, date doesn't line up with post, Future IL's schedules don't line up...yada yada... FI isn't sticking to his faith and the IL's don't like it, etc. "..

Why not have it at Disney in his denomination (Disney is lined up with many faith communities) during their trip KWIM" Two birds, one stone, no drama... But that was too much going through what the OP's real question was...

mrsconn23 · September 2014

tawillers · September 2014

ded, conn.

NOLABridesmaid · September 2014

Closed due to rudeness.

Now, that's funny.

Heffalump · September 2014

Okay, I think maybe I have translated it, but feel free to chime in with corrections or clarifications:

Fiance's family is going to Disneyland next September, as in 12 whole months from now
[editorializing about why they chose the dates they did, as if it is the OP's business]
I think her original problem with the Disney trip was that it conflicted with her two kids' school schedules? (Feel free to interpret differently, I sort of had to extrapolate here.)
When they announced their engagement, only FI's parents and one sister (out of __?) congratulated them. I am assuming there was a disappointing lack of glitter cannons.
FI's stepmom asked them to change their wedding date, and I assume that they did. (?)
FI's stepmom said everyone could go to the wedding instead of Disneyland, but now is apparently still planning to go to Disneyland and said she will try to make it to the wedding. (?) Not entirely clear.
In summary, OP's family is making a BFD about this engagement and her FI's is not, so: butthurt.
Namecalling
More butthurt
End of replies

I don't mean this in a snarky way at all, I genuinely think maybe English is not the OP's first language and she is having trouble expressing herself clearly. Except for the "closed" part, she's got that down cold.

VarunaTT · September 2014

Yeah, after reading her other post, I felt like English was a 2nd language as well so I was trying to really read it and understand.

I agree with you re: September didn't work for her kids b/c of school.

But then I read the other post, which is only 3 days old, and it said April 2016. Which is a little less than 2 years away. So yeah, no one is that excited yet, b/c it's 2 years away. But April shouldn't conflict with September 2014 or even 2015 or heck, 2016. So, I gave up.

mrsconn23 · September 2014

You know, I thought that reading this post. But her other post is actually okay as far as writing and cohesiveness, so I'm not so sure.

But I really think 'closed due to rudeness' should replace 'end of replies'. It has a better foot-stomping effect.

*Barbie* · September 2014

*Barbie* said:

thefuturemrsj15 said:

Should I be offended that my fiancé's family is basically ditching our wedding??
My fiancé's family had originally planned a family trip to Disneyland next September. Why during the school year I'm not sure but I think because the oldest sister's kids will be on a school break (they have year round school) then but the rest will as far as I know. Right off this wasn't going to work for my 2 teenage kids I'm bringing with me to the marriage. We announced our engagement & only one sister said anything congratulatory & his parents.
The FI's stepmom requested that we change the date due to a conflict with work schedules of one FBIL & FFIL & she had said that everyone could caravan up to our wedding instead of going to the theme park. That's fine but the FILs are still planning on going to Disneyland & haven't said one word except one sister about coming to the wedding. The FstepMIL said they'll try & make it but she sounded like she could care less. I'm a little confused & not sure how much to ask them because one of the reasons they asked after having a family discussion the FI & I were not a part of until after things had been decided & changes of our plans requested.

If anything, I read this as the FI's stepmom made some executive decision that people would attend the wedding instead of Disney, but nobody else was on board with that.

I didn't understand the concern re: work schedules a year in advance. (unless it's something like not working during Labor Day weekend, which is mandatory for that employer - and even then, who is to say these people would still be at those jobs in a year?)

Heffalump · September 2014

*Barbie* said:

If anything, I read this as the FI's stepmom made some executive decision that people would attend the wedding instead of Disney, but nobody else was on board with that.

Ah, I could see that being the case, as well. Which is crazy, but people are crazy.

I wish the OP were here to help out by answering questions. This is like a logic puzzle now, and I want to solve it, not pretend it doesn't exist.

Closed due to rudeness

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