I feel like I've posted about my sister on here about a million times. You guys are probably more sick of hearing about her than my FI is at this point. So I'm sorry, but here goes another one:
Just a quick re-cap, in early July she went psycho and ruined our engagement party. Screamed and cried and called me all sorts of nasty names and insulted me. FI actually yelled back at her because her insults were so out of control and he couldn't stand to sit there and see me get ripped apart for no reason (I just adore him!)
She never bothered to apologize or even explain and we haven't spoken since. She was supposed to be my MOH. Now I have no idea if she'll even bother to show up for the wedding. And at this point I'm tempted to just ask her to not be in the wedding party (yeah, I've read all the threads on this topic, I know I know).
Last night FI suggested that I be the bigger person and break the ice with her. He thinks I should end the feud and talk to her, not for her sake but so that I can move on, because I've literally been having nightmares about this for months. And I know he's right, but the thing is I'm sick of having to be the bigger person. Everyone in the entire family knows her as the mean cold-hearted bitch, and knows me as the quiet kind one. So our whole lives, she'll do or say something horrible to me that really hurts me, and then I basically apologize for it while she just sails on through life being nasty to everyone.
I don't want to be the one to break the ice because 1) as mentioned I'm sick of always being the bigger person. 2) I seriously have NOTHING nice or constructive to say to her, so it would end up being like "Hey you stupid bitch, you're a bitch." 3) I'm sick of her getting away with acting so mean and nasty and never having consequences and I think if I smooth things over it will be like once again she had no consequences. 4) Just overall, I'm so sick of how shitty she's treated me my whole life.
At this point you're probably so confused as to why I asked her to be MOH. That's another story.
I guess my question is, should I just suck it up and start a conversation with her? And if so, how do I word it without totally unleashing all my pent-up anger at her and making it into another huge fight? How would you guys word a thing like that? (I'm thinking e-mail, so she doesn't have the chance to lash out and get psycho like on the phone or in person). Do I even try to explain how bad she made FI and I feel, or do I just say "step down from the wedding party" or do I just call a truce and not mention any of it?