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Invitation wording: can someone check this for me?

charlottesmom0626charlottesmom0626 member
First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment First Answer
in Wedding Invitations & Paper
Hey ladies!
My wedding isn't until June but I'm designing my invitations myself and then having them printed, so I wanted to make sure I have the words right before I start my design. I'm asking for the words, but also punctuation and capitalization. 

Mr. & Mrs. Brides Parents invite you 
to share in their joy at the marriage 
of their daughter
Bride First Middle
to
Mr. Groom First Middle Last
Friday, the twenty-sixth of June 
Two thousand fifteen
Half past four o’clock in the afternoon

Venue
Venue Address

Reception to follow


I also think I'm going to do an information card. Would this be okay?

Accommodations: a special rate has been secured for guests at This Hotel. Please reference the Bride/Groom wedding when making your reservation. Kindly reserve your room by May 5, 2015. Hotel Phonenumber

Transportation: A shuttle from the hotel will be provided to and from the wedding venue.

Additional Information: For directions, local things to do, DJ requests, and other additional information, please visit our website: www.weddingwebsite.com


Lastly, would a June 1st RSVP be okay for a June 26th wedding?


thanks in advance!!


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Re: Invitation wording: can someone check this for me?

  • CMGragainCMGragain member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    The invitation is a simple message from the hosts to the guests, telling them who, what, when and where - NOT WHY!  Traditional wording really works best.  Your wording does not make it clear that this is an invitation to attend a wedding.  "Share in the joy" is too vague.  Guests might assume that this is a wedding announcement (an improper one!) rather than an invitation to attend.
    "Half past" is not used for wedding invitations.  "Half after" is correct.  Never use the ampersand &.

    Mr.and Mrs. Brides Parents
    request the pleasure of your company
    at the marriage of their daughter
    Bride First Middle
    to
    Mr. Groom First Middle Last
    Friday, the twenty-sixth of June 
    two thousand fifteen
    at half after four o’clock

    Venue
    Venue Address
    City, State

    Reception to follow


    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
    Report Reply
  • charlottesmom0626charlottesmom0626 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment First Answer
    CMGragain said:
    The invitation is a simple message from the hosts to the guests, telling them who, what, when and where - NOT WHY!  Traditional wording really works best.  Your wording does not make it clear that this is an invitation to attend a wedding.  "Share in the joy" is too vague.  Guests might assume that this is a wedding announcement (an improper one!) rather than an invitation to attend.
    "Half past" is not used for wedding invitations.  "Half after" is correct.  Never use the ampersand &.

    Mr.and Mrs. Brides Parents
    request the pleasure of your company
    at the marriage of their daughter
    Bride First Middle
    to
    Mr. Groom First Middle Last
    Friday, the twenty-sixth of June 
    two thousand fifteen
    at half after four o’clock

    Venue
    Venue Address
    City, State

    Reception to follow


    I truly appreciate your advice, I was hoping you'd respond for me. I have made most of your changes except for "invites you to share their joy"

     I had looked through previous posts before I posted this, and another bride worded this this way and you had said it was acceptable which is actually why I worded it this way. I was looking for something a little different than the traditional wording. 

    From "Invitation Wording" by Pellegcm

    "Your phrasing of "invite you to share the joy at the wedding of" is acceptable, because it does make it clear that you are inviting your guests to your wedding.  It is your choice."
    Report Reply
  • Jen4948Jen4948 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    charlottesmom0626 said:
    CMGragain said:
    The invitation is a simple message from the hosts to the guests, telling them who, what, when and where - NOT WHY!  Traditional wording really works best.  Your wording does not make it clear that this is an invitation to attend a wedding.  "Share in the joy" is too vague.  Guests might assume that this is a wedding announcement (an improper one!) rather than an invitation to attend.
    "Half past" is not used for wedding invitations.  "Half after" is correct.  Never use the ampersand &.

    Mr.and Mrs. Brides Parents
    request the pleasure of your company
    at the marriage of their daughter
    Bride First Middle
    to
    Mr. Groom First Middle Last
    Friday, the twenty-sixth of June 
    two thousand fifteen
    at half after four o’clock

    Venue
    Venue Address
    City, State

    Reception to follow


    I truly appreciate your advice, I was hoping you'd respond for me. I have made most of your changes except for "invites you to share their joy"

     I had looked through previous posts before I posted this, and another bride worded this this way and you had said it was acceptable which is actually why I worded it this way. I was looking for something a little different than the traditional wording. 

    From "Invitation Wording" by Pellegcm

    "Your phrasing of "invite you to share the joy at the wedding of" is acceptable, because it does make it clear that you are inviting your guests to your wedding.  It is your choice."
    The problem with "invite you to share the joy at the wedding of" is that it doesn't specifically invite the recipient to the wedding ceremony.  It has confused people into thinking that they are only invited to the reception or some later event and not attending the ceremony.

    The traditional wording has a purpose-to ask the recipient to attend the wedding and to convey that the persons issuing the invitation are honored or pleased for them to be there.

    Another thing:  Traditionally, invitation wording that emphasized the "joy" or "happiness" of the couple or their families was a clue that something was wrong, like pregnancy outside of marriage.  The traditional wording has built into it the understanding that the occasion will be a joyous one without coming across like verbal PDA.
    Report Reply
  • charlottesmom0626charlottesmom0626 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment First Answer
    Thanks for your replies and advice!
    Report Reply
  • CMGragainCMGragain member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    edited September 2014
    OK, if you insist, here is an alternative wording that is clear:

    Mr. and Mrs. Brides Parents
    request the pleasure of your company
    and invite you to share in their joy
    at the marriage of their daughter
    Bride First Middle
    to
    Mr. Groom First Middle Last
    (etc.)

    This is more wordy, and requires another line of print, but it does make it clear that this is a wedding invitation.  There is nothing wrong with non-traditional wording, but it must do the job.  Your wording does not make it clear that this is an invitation.

    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
    Report Reply
  • annakay511annakay511 member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary First Comment Name Dropper

    Your wedding invites sound a lot like mine :)

    I agree with the change in wording to "invite you to share in their joy at the marriage of their daughter" that CMGragain suggested.

    As for when to have RSVPs back, check with your caterer as to when you need a final head count number. Then, give yourself an extra week (at least) to accommodate for people who send them late or who you need to call and follow up with because they don't send the RSVP back.

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