Seriously? A rant...

DaniBites · October 2014

I already have a big bridal party with a maid of honor and SEVEN bridesmaids. It would have been fairly normal sized but FI insisted his two sister be bridesmaids too. Fine.

So every time the topic of the size of the wedding party comes up he rolls his eyes and makes comments about how many bridesmaids I have (to which I tell him if it's a problem he can take his sisters out...) Tonight he texts me and says..."S is a bridesmaid right?"

Um, no. And he knows shes not. So he asks if we can make her a bridesmaid "Because K (her SO) is a groomsman and I've been friends with her since I was a kid!"

Buddy I don't care if you've been friends with her since you were a sperm cell. I'm not expanding this circus of a wedding party any more, especially given his attitude about it. I thought I was really good about putting in his sisters (especially because one of them has been nasty to me more than once and I dread seeing her because of her attitude), but this? No way. No. Way. He's really pushing for it too and I'm worried he'll ask her anyway despite my capital N-O.

Sorry I just needed to vent >:(

jenajjthr · October 2014

He can add her as a groomswoman then. His friend, his side. Just because she is a female doesn't mean she has to be on your side. End of story.

DaniBites · October 2014

I like this idea. I'm just a little upset about it throwing off the symmetry of the party, I wanted equal numbers of each. And I think he asked her. He's avoiding the question.

goldchocobo.defunct635829490514903826 · October 2014

"Buddy I don't care if you've been friends with her since you were a sperm cell..." LMAO I love that.

You don't need equal numbers. To quote Linkin Park: "In the end, it doesn't even matter."

Inkdancer · October 2014

If he asked her, she can stand on his side. He needs to learn the meaning of "no". I have plenty of friends who wanted to be bridesmaids, and I turned them down politely. He can do the same.

zitiqueen · October 2014

DaniBites said:

I already have a big bridal party with a maid of honor and SEVEN bridesmaids. It would have been fairly normal sized but FI insisted his two sister be bridesmaids too. Fine.

So every time the topic of the size of the wedding party comes up he rolls his eyes and makes comments about how many bridesmaids I have (to which I tell him if it's a problem he can take his sisters out...) Tonight he texts me and says..."S is a bridesmaid right?"

Um, no. And he knows shes not. So he asks if we can make her a bridesmaid "Because K (her SO) is a groomsman and I've been friends with her since I was a kid!"

Buddy I don't care if you've been friends with her since you were a sperm cell. I'm not expanding this circus of a wedding party any more, especially given his attitude about it. I thought I was really good about putting in his sisters (especially because one of them has been nasty to me more than once and I dread seeing her because of her attitude), but this? No way. No. Way. He's really pushing for it too and I'm worried he'll ask her anyway despite my capital N-O.

Sorry I just needed to vent >:(

I will never understand asking somebody you don't like to be in your bridal party.

huskypuppy14 · October 2014

If he wanted his sisters in the wedding party, they should have been on his side. I know women that have their brother as their Man of honor. He could have had his sisters and good friend as groomswoman.

You guys need to be on the same side. This is a minor thing in the grand scheme of life. What are you going to do when you disagree about way more important things. Honestly, I'm on your side here, and I think your FI is being unreasonable.

ethelbeavers · October 2014

@goldchocobo --> "to quote Linkin Park" = dying of laughter. Seriously, fantastic quote.

novella1186 · October 2014

Ask your FI if you should also include your favorite check-out person at the grocery store. And your UPS guy, cuz they're usually pretty nice. Whatever random people can we throw in... Hell just have all the guests go stand up there with you.

mrsmagicgeek · October 2014

I agree with PP, if he's friends with her, she can stand on his side. She doesn't have to go on your side just because she has a vagina.

DaniBites · October 2014

I loled at most of these...cheered me right up!!

So he had the nerve to ask me how often I see one of my bridesmaids who I already asked to be in the bridal party.

I flat out don't want anyone else in this wedding party!!! I like it the way it is, we asked everyone and they're all excited to be a part of it. I don't know why he can't take no for an answer.

Inkdancer · October 2014

DaniBites said:

I loled at most of these...cheered me right up!!

So he had the nerve to ask me how often I see one of my bridesmaids who I already asked to be in the bridal party.

I flat out don't want anyone else in this wedding party!!! I like it the way it is, we asked everyone and they're all excited to be a part of it. I don't know why he can't take no for an answer.

HOLD THE FUCKING PHONE.

He is pressing you to ask people you barely know, and has the audacity to question your choices?

Y'all need to have a come to Jesus talk, because casting aspersions on your friendships is bullshit and he does not get to control who you like or spend time with. Fuck that noise.

DaniBites · October 2014

I was seriously appalled when he said that. His childhood friends are no more important than mine just because he sees them more often.

He didn't mention it to her (I was wrong in my assumption last night, he was busy not avoiding the question), but I don't know what he's not understanding. I wouldn't expect to be a bridesmaid in her wedding.

[Deleted User] · October 2014

Do you have a random man in your life that you can suggest stands up on his side? Like your dad? Or a cousin you never see? Or, like the PP said, the UPS guy? Because you really have to show him how stupid he's being. Or what about the husbands, fiances, boyfriends, one-night-stands of all your bridesmaids? "Hey, you know Sally, my bridesmaid? Well, she just started seeing this guy, Bobby who we both went to elementary school with, and I really think you should have him as a groomsman because we've known him since elementary school!"

DaniBites · October 2014

I'm going to ask him to make my 13 and 15 year old cousins who I never see and am even on the fence about inviting groomsmen. Boom.

southernbelle0915 · October 2014

"Bless your heart honey. No, I'm not going to have her stand on my side. You can though! Let me know if you want her to wear the same dresses the BMs are wearing and I'll get her the style number.

Oh and while you're questioning MY choices, please send me a list of your groomsmen with the last date you saw them and why you're asking them to be in the WP. I'll let you know what I think in two business days. Thanks"

F that noise no. His attendants, his choice. Your attendants, your choice. Has he ever used the Google webz? Tell him to google image "mixed gender wedding party". This is such a non-issue.

[Deleted User] · October 2014

I loved being a groomswoman. Though the ring bearer was a little weirded out that there were girls in the limo with him, the groom, and the groomsmen.

allispain · October 2014

Yeah. No. Just no. With some extra no.

Your FI needs to get his crap in order - those kinds of demands are simply absurd.

DH had 3 GMs and a groomswoman stand up with him. She's not my favorite person on the planet (long story) but was his call, not mine, and there's no way I would have told him who he could/should and couldn't/shouldn't have on his side. The whole point is that they're supposed to be people who care about you and are supporting you - having some chick you aren't (apparently) very close to as your BM because he says so is just crazy.

huskypuppy14 · October 2014

wajohnson09 · October 2014

If you really aren't a fan of his sisters have them stand on his side.
When my cousin and his wife got married there were no groomsmen. His sisters walked him down the aisle and stood by him and her sisters stood by her. They were all bridesmaids and it was pretty damn sweet to see cousin walking with big sis and little sis.

DaniBites · October 2014

Update!

He came home last night and told me he called her and told her it wasn't possible.

Thanks for all the advise guys

And thank God for changes of heart (or realizing you're out of your mind)

theartistformerlyknownas · October 2014

DaniBites said:

Update!

He came home last night and told me he called her and told her it wasn't possible.

Thanks for all the advise guys

And thank God for changes of heart (or realizing you're out of your mind)

Grooms can be 'zillas too. Glad he snapped out of it.

crys-crys · October 2014

I thought he hadn't talked to her about it before but now he had to call and tell her it wasn't possible? Did he ask you because she had asked him if she could be in the wedding?

DaniBites · October 2014

Apparently they had an awkward conversation when I wasn't there where he told her SO he was in the wedding party and her SO asked about her being in it.

The tact. It's killing me.

MandyMost · October 2014

I don't see why you both don't sit down right now, with the list of people who you've already asked to be in your wedding party, and figure out which side everyone should be on. It seems as if you have 8 on each side...are all 8 groomsmen HIS friends, or do you have a friend or brother or anything that is currently a groomsman as well?

The girls can still do all the girl stuff, and the guys can do all the guy stuff, but people will get to be with the person they're closest to. I was a bridesmaid in my brother's wedding. I hated being stuck sitting with the bride prior to the wedding when I really wanted to be with my brother and cousins, who were groomsmen.

knottie75e99fe4be548d97 · October 2014

Tell him she can be in it but she will have to replace one of his sisters.

DaniBites · October 2014

CuteRunningGirl said:

Tell him she can be in it but she will have to replace one of his sisters.

I did, I told him I would PREFER her over one of his sisters. Didn't go over well

Seriously? A rant...

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