More than a little pissed...

shanding4787 · July 2012

So a big chunk of my family went to breakfast this morning and my cousin who got engaged last week, announced her wedding date. I sat there thinking, "hmm that date sounds familiar"...oh yea, that's because it'/s my date! She knows full well that that date is the same day we're getting married, but she said her fiancé "had a dream" about the date and they'd are sticking with it... I was rather speechless and needless to say it made for an awkward rest of the meal.

SB1512 · July 2012

While the rule usually is you get one day, she gets one day, I can def understand being angry about the dates being exactly the same. Especially because there will probably be a lot of overlap on the guest list and people may feel they have to choose one wedding over another. I would stay out of it, hopefully her parents will talk her into choosing a different date because a lot of guests would not be able to attend both weddings and if you still have living grandparents (as well as other close family members) that may be a very difficult choice for them.

shanding4787 · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_more-than-a-little-pissed?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:a6362acd-5d20-41f6-9247-5555e70c998aPost:f76244d9-098c-414f-8822-ce21a92e3271">Re:More than a little pissed...</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re:More than a little pissed...:

What is she, 16? I cannot imagine doing that to family, and I am about as laid back as possible when it comes to "thunder stealing" or whatever.
Posted by StageManager14[/QUOTE]

No, she's actually older than I am by two years! I wanted to cry...but I just sat there and said/did nothing.

SB1512 · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_more-than-a-little-pissed?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:a6362acd-5d20-41f6-9247-5555e70c998aPost:69e892b0-6e0a-4b15-89f0-e8b6331ca233">Re:More than a little pissed...</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re:More than a little pissed... : No, she's actually older than I am by two years! I wanted to cry...but I just sat there and said/did nothing.
Posted by shanding4787[/QUOTE]

I applaud your response. I honestly would have lost my sh*t on her. Hopefully someone will be able to talk her out of it, but if not, I'd suggest sending save the dates out as soon as you can (usually 6-9 months before wedding, so go with 9 months maybe?) and hopefully before she does.

shanding4787 · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_more-than-a-little-pissed?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:a6362acd-5d20-41f6-9247-5555e70c998aPost:c7647e50-4a66-4482-805e-ab5616131ffb">Re:More than a little pissed...</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re:More than a little pissed... : I applaud your response. I honestly would have lost my sh*t on her. Hopefully someone will be able to talk her out of it, but if not, I'd suggest sending save the dates out as soon as you can (usually 6-9 months before wedding, so go with 9 months maybe?) and hopefully before she does.
Posted by SB1512[/QUOTE]

Honestly, had we not been in a public place I probably would have gone off on her but I'm not gonna make a scene in the middle of a restaurant. We're just about on our 9 month mark so I guess I'll get my save the dates ordered soon. And another kicker, her mom is also my wedding planner...so that ought a be interesting. I'm praying she talks to her and changes her mind.

allychase · July 2012

Is she serious? I would have flipped as well. Even if it was the week AFTER, she could have picked any other date. She SHOULD have. Perhaps her fianc had a dream about that date because he was excited to attend your wedding? Duhhhh. My family is very open with each other so honestly I couldn't imagine saying anything other than "did you forget I'm getting married that day?" good luck with that...

shanding4787 · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_more-than-a-little-pissed?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:a6362acd-5d20-41f6-9247-5555e70c998aPost:2173fb43-3ce5-4554-ba40-957013785505">Re:More than a little pissed...</a>:
[QUOTE]Is she serious? I would have flipped as well. Even if it was the week AFTER, she could have picked any other date. She SHOULD have. Perhaps her fianc had a dream about that date because he was excited to attend your wedding? Duhhhh. My family is very open with each other so honestly I couldn't imagine saying anything other than "did you forget I'm getting married that day?" good luck with that...
Posted by allychase[/QUOTE]

My mom looked over at me and then to her and goes "you do know Sammie is getting married that day right." to which she replied yes and said the date just felt right to them.

NcsuPsych · July 2012

Does the rest of your family already know your date?
That's a low down shitastic thing to do, and I'm also laid back.

fleab2oo3 · July 2012

OH NO!!! i would be LIVID and boiling on the inside.. but probably owuld have been like you and not said anything..

i hope it works out.. and yes.. get your save the dates out first.. Family like that sucks

allychase · July 2012

Ha! Well clearly she needs to be told to find another date that just speaks to them.

Summer2011Bride · July 2012

I would be angry as well and applaud your composed reaction. I would get STDs out as soon as possible. Honesty, if i was invited to both weddings, I would go to yours on principal over hers and also because I knew about it first. Hopefully her mom or another relative will talk sense into her. She may be getting a high decline rate if a good portion of your guest lists overlap. Once she gets that, maybe she'll start singing a different tune.

GoodLuckBear14 · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_more-than-a-little-pissed?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:a6362acd-5d20-41f6-9247-5555e70c998aPost:a4f53fa4-c091-49f0-9619-4a6daea5a17d">Re:More than a little pissed...</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re:More than a little pissed... : My mom looked over at me and then to her and goes "you do know Sammie is getting married that day right." to which she replied yes and said the date just felt right to them.
Posted by shanding4787[/QUOTE]

After this remark, I would have lost it, public place or not. She really is a selfish little princess b!tch. Like Summer said, I'd get he STD out as quickly as possible. And then good luck dealing with this woman for the rest of your life - this is not something I'd ever let her or anyone else ever forget, but I'm vengeful like that.

Ginabean42712 · July 2012

Get those STD's out ASAP! Also try to get your invitations done and send them out early too, perhaps at the 3-4 month mark?

kmmssg · July 2012

There is no way I could have stayed quiet the way you did. Are your folks going to talk to whatever sibling is this crazy cousin's parent? Surely she realizes her mom is supposed to be your wedding planner.

This is a great example of a beotch move from hell.

shanding4787 · July 2012

My mom is over at her mom's house right now and they are takling things over. She is supposed to call me when they leave and let me know what's going on.

Marrin713 · July 2012

Wow! I am in the "hope her mother talks her out of it" camp. What a prize

shanding4787 · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_more-than-a-little-pissed?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:a6362acd-5d20-41f6-9247-5555e70c998aPost:cfb3fb65-bd36-449e-b5fe-ea947592fe0d">Re: More than a little pissed...</a>:
[QUOTE]Does the rest of your family already know your date? That's a low down shitastic thing to do, and I'm also laid back.
Posted by NcsuPsych[/QUOTE]

<div>Yes, they've all known for a few months..since Easter I guess.</div>

[Deleted User] · July 2012

Wow! Normally we get here brides that are upset that other people plan weddings within MONTHS of theirs and that's just ridiculous, but in this case you have every right to be upset. What the hell is her problem? Hopefully your wedding planner understands that she has a previous engagement that day and probably won't be able to be at her daughter's wedding. Damn, yeah let us know what they say.

shanding4787 · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_more-than-a-little-pissed?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:a6362acd-5d20-41f6-9247-5555e70c998aPost:656cdcb3-c9b2-424d-9ada-8ec1f174fc1f">Re: More than a little pissed...</a>:
[QUOTE]Wow! Normally we get here brides that are upset that other people plan weddings within MONTHS of theirs and that's just ridiculous, but in this case you have every right to be upset. What the hell is her problem? Hopefully your wedding planner understands that she has a previous engagement that day and probably won't be able to be at her daughter's wedding. Damn, yeah let us know what they say.
Posted by JordanF13[/QUOTE]

<div>Yea, we have an issue with this too, well sort of. FI's brother and his girlfriend got engaged like a month ago and she wants a fall wedding and is mad that they can't have it fall of next year because it's too close to ours and that's not fair. I can't help but think "ummmmm I'm not stopping you from having it 6 months after ours!" She's a peach :) lol</div>

MairePoppy · July 2012

Is your cousin jealous that her mom is helping you plan your wedding? Was her mom surprised when she announced the date? I'm betting your aunt will talk her out of the date, but still, get those STDs out this week.

[Deleted User] · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_more-than-a-little-pissed?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:a6362acd-5d20-41f6-9247-5555e70c998aPost:675ee9cb-5630-4ff5-b712-1f0e3ffd95b3">Re: More than a little pissed...</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: More than a little pissed... : Yea, we have an issue with this too, well sort of. FI's brother and his girlfriend got engaged like a month ago and she wants a fall wedding and is mad that they can't have it fall of next year because it's too close to ours and that's not fair. I can't help but think "ummmmm I'm not stopping you from having it 6 months after ours!" She's a peach :) lol
Posted by shanding4787[/QUOTE]

<div>She does sound like a peach! Before my FI and I pushed our wedding date back we were going to get married this November. My sister is getting married next month. Neither of us saw what the problem was when we were going to get married within three months of each other.</div><div>
</div><div>Hopefully everything works out and you can get back to focusing on your wedding.</div>

RebeccaB88 · July 2012

I can't wait to see what happens.

Do you have a legal contract with the mom wedding planner? If you do you can hold her to that legally, making sure she is at YOUR wedding and not her daughters. B*itch move, yes, but you didn't start the fire.

runpipparun · July 2012

I'm creeped out by the "he had a dream" portion of the whole thing. Is this guy some sort of New Age nutcase who believes in the truth of dreams, or is he superstitious? Or is she just using that as an excuse to act out against the fact that her mom has been paying attention to you and not her?

But yeah, my brother and I are getting married 2 months apart. No drama there between him and me, or my FSIL and me.

willywally5 · July 2012

OMG. You have EVERY right to be supremely pissed.

What does your wedding planner aunt have to say? I mean, how can she allow this? She is already obligated to you?

This cousin of yours sounds like a brat. Who dafuq DOES stuff like that? And a dream determined their wedding date? Holy bajeebies.

ETA, I had a brother get married four months after me; Also two other brothers get married four months apart and my mom loved it. She typed up the main guest list and just adjusted as appropriate for each indivdual wedding.

Your Fi's bro calling 'Not fair' that you chose a wedding date first when you got engaged first? Inane.

BrittneyRN · July 2012

I want an update on this situation!

willywally5 · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_more-than-a-little-pissed?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:a6362acd-5d20-41f6-9247-5555e70c998aPost:aeabf3e8-6644-4273-9081-a99ce42e68da">Re: More than a little pissed...</a>:
[QUOTE]<strong>I want an update on this situation!</strong>
Posted by BrittneyRN[/QUOTE]
<div>
</div><div>Dying to know. I so hope it works out in her favor. </div><div>
</div>

cwaggoner07 · July 2012

Yes, update please! Biitches be cray.

runpipparun · July 2012

Seriously, I get the sense there are some mommy issues between cousin and cousin's mom, and cousin is trying to force her mom's hand. I'm rooting for cousin's mom to do the right thing and tell cousin to untwist her panties and grow the eff up.

2012FutureMrsB · July 2012

We need an update! OP, are they still meeting?

MiksChick23 · July 2012

Get those Save the Dates out ASAP - like before her. I don't know how you didn't say anything. I'd have been more than a little snarky with her.

willywally5 · July 2012

In Response to Re: More than a little pissed...:
[QUOTE]Seriously, I get the sense there are some mommy issues between cousin and cousin's mom, and cousin is trying to force her mom's hand. I'm rooting for cousin's mom to do the right thing and tell cousin to untwist her panties and grow the eff up.
Posted by runpipparun[/QUOTE]

I concur.

I so love when people push their issues out onto others they supposedly love and care for. Gah, people suck.

More than a little pissed...

Re: More than a little pissed...

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