Parents Separating

esstee33 · October 2014

loveislouder said:

Thank you everyone for your advice, thoughts and hugs. FI and I are going to go away for a couple days and just be together but away from everything. I am okay, as long as I am not alone. The hour drive to and from work are actually brutal, but I ate some toast yesterday and feel a bit better.

That being said, please don't jump down CMGragain's throat for her post. Everyone here is just trying to help and give their opinion, and that was hers. When my mom's dad died the doctor at the hospital gave her prozac and she actually got to go to feel better.

I plan to just take a couple days and see what comes from it. My bossman is amazing and said take whatever time I need, and I graciously took him up on the offer. If I'm still not better in a couple weeks I'll head to my GP and get her to check my levels to make sure my nutrients are up before I start any pills.

You guys are all amazing and I'm so glad to have an internet family that cares about me too.

You're the best, and if any of you are ever on my side of town, I'll take you out for poutine because I'm Canadian like that.

I'm glad you're taking the time you need to get to a place where you feel better.

We're jumping down CMGr's throat because she is not licensed to give medical advice as though she's your doctor. It's reckless, irresponsible, and potentially dangerous for her to say what she did. There's a big difference between saying "I've struggled with depression and felt like you're feeling now, and here's what I did" and what she actually posted, which was basically a diagnosis, and told you to "get going!" to your doctor to ask for the pills she took when she was depressed, because obviously that'll work for you, too. She doesn't know your medical history, and recommending that you should take X pill for a disease that you may or may not even have is absolutely horrendous. I understand that her intentions were to help, but that's not helpful and could potentially be very bad.

Also, I fucking love poutine.

raissyrais · October 2014

loveislouder said:

Thank you everyone for your advice, thoughts and hugs. FI and I are going to go away for a couple days and just be together but away from everything. I am okay, as long as I am not alone. The hour drive to and from work are actually brutal, but I ate some toast yesterday and feel a bit better.

That being said, please don't jump down CMGragain's throat for her post. Everyone here is just trying to help and give their opinion, and that was hers. When my mom's dad died the doctor at the hospital gave her prozac and she actually got to go to feel better.

I plan to just take a couple days and see what comes from it. My bossman is amazing and said take whatever time I need, and I graciously took him up on the offer. If I'm still not better in a couple weeks I'll head to my GP and get her to check my levels to make sure my nutrients are up before I start any pills.

You guys are all amazing and I'm so glad to have an internet family that cares about me too.

You're the best, and if any of you are ever on my side of town, I'll take you out for poutine because I'm Canadian like that.

Sniff. Take me, can't find poutine here in London for the life of me. Miss Montreal Poutine so much!!! Good luck with your grieving, it'll be alright

rajahmd · October 2014

CMGragain said:

RajahBMFD said:

You have the signs of clinical depression. Clinical depression is not just a bad mood, it is a physical condition. It often accompanies serious loss. It is worse than a bad case of flu, and can last much longer. There is nothing weird about this.

You need to see a doctor as soon as possible, possibly a psychiatrist who specializes in treating severe depression. Even your GP can prescribe some medication that might help you get through this without making you sleepy or feeling drugged. Most of the prozac family of meds take about two weeks to take effect, but when they do, you will have more energy, be more focused, and will think more clearly. Get going!
Wrong. Wrong. Wrong. It's one thing to summize that a poster has a medical condition when you have no medical training, but to recommend medications!? It's Fucking irresponsible. You have no idea if she's having any symptoms that warrant meds, let alone whether or not she has any past medical history that would make meds dangerous. You should not talk about things that you don't understand or have training in.

You know nothing about me.

Fuck that shit. I know you aren't a doctor. That's all I need to know to say that recommending specific medications and diagnoses to someone over the internet that you've met (and have no idea what their past medical history includes) is irresponsible and uncalled for. While you may have had depression, you have not had the requisite training to diagnose and treat it. So back the fuck off.

There's a big difference between sharing your story and what helped you, and pretending to be an internet doctor. Want to actually diagnose people and prescribe medications? Go to fucking medical school.

holyguacamole79 · October 2014

@loveislouder‌ , if you are considering medication, I strongly suggest you talk to a psychiatrist. While your GP can prescribe antidepressants, it would be better for someone in that specific field to help. The wrong antidepressant can really mess you up (trust me, I've been there). Most psychiatrists are booked, so I suggest making an appointment now (chances are the earliest you can get in is 2-3 weeks). If things blow over, cancel the appointment.

doeydo · October 2014

I'm glad you are doing what you need to do for you. Please know that we are here for you and love you.

Also, poutine is amazing.

hellosweetie1015 · October 2014

@loveislouder, I'm so sorry you're going through this. Give yourself time to grieve, try to start "eating" again with smoothies and milkshakes and chicken broth until you feel like you can handle real food, and if you don't get better maybe consider a clinician of some type. Divorce sucks for all parties involved.

@CMGragain, you're not a clinician. Please don't spread misinformation. Prozac and its kin are not for everyone. Antidepressants, period, are not for everyone. They can be incredibly dangerous, and shouldn't be tossed around like candy at a Christmas parade. What works for you and your son may or may not work for me, loveislouder, or Joe Schmoe down the street. Psychiatric medication and treatment is MUCH more complicated than "throw a prozac at it."

Also - in what context are you using the word "inherited"? It seems that you're using it to make the point that your depression is more severe than others' experiences because it's "inherited". In my understanding, "inherited" means that it runs in families and has exactly zero to do with severity of the disease in question. Major Depressive Disorder, Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Macular Degeneration, extra toes, and various cancers can run in families. If FI and I are both diagnosed with Macular Degeneration (which runs pretty rampant in my family but not at all in his), will one of us be "more" blind than the other, when it's all said and done?

loveislouder · October 2014

@sarahbear31 Thanks! I'll do that if it comes to it. Though my parent's work we get access to a psychiatrist for free. Free is awesome.

SmileDamnit · October 2014

CMGragain said:

esstee33 said:

CMGragain said:

You have the signs of clinical depression. Clinical depression is not just a bad mood, it is a physical condition. It often accompanies serious loss. It is worse than a bad case of flu, and can last much longer. There is nothing weird about this.

You need to see a doctor as soon as possible, possibly a psychiatrist who specializes in treating severe depression. Even your GP can prescribe some medication that might help you get through this without making you sleepy or feeling drugged. Most of the prozac family of meds take about two weeks to take effect, but when they do, you will have more energy, be more focused, and will think more clearly. Get going!

Feeling awful because her parents are getting a divorce =/= clinical depression. That's a pretty serious assumption for you to make, and to recommend meds? Are you fucking kidding me?

You don't know me. Unless you have recently changed your screen name, you are new, at least lately.
It is normal for a person to feel awful during a traumatic family situation. I should know.
It is NOT normal to sleep all day, or eat small amounts of food and then vomit. This is affecting OP's life and she needs to see a professional ASAP, preferably an MD.
I have been dealing with INHERITED depression all my life. All the counseling in the world won't make it go away. My adult son also has it. My daughter does not. If you haven't experienced it, you have no idea how painful it is. If I had my choice, right now, of having my inherited depression healed, or having my terminal cancer healed, I would choose the depression. Everybody dies someday, but not everybody experiences clinical depression.
@loveislouder, If you want to PM me, I'll be glad to elaborate, but I really think you should see a doctor if you don't feel better soon. Hugs.

I, I, I...me, me, ME...my, my my. Damn, narcissistic much?

Good luck, OP. You are grieving, you are normal, and you will survive this. I hope you get help you need to help you process this blow.

esstee33 · October 2014

SmileDamnit said:

CMGragain said:

esstee33 said:

CMGragain said:

You have the signs of clinical depression. Clinical depression is not just a bad mood, it is a physical condition. It often accompanies serious loss. It is worse than a bad case of flu, and can last much longer. There is nothing weird about this.

You need to see a doctor as soon as possible, possibly a psychiatrist who specializes in treating severe depression. Even your GP can prescribe some medication that might help you get through this without making you sleepy or feeling drugged. Most of the prozac family of meds take about two weeks to take effect, but when they do, you will have more energy, be more focused, and will think more clearly. Get going!

Feeling awful because her parents are getting a divorce =/= clinical depression. That's a pretty serious assumption for you to make, and to recommend meds? Are you fucking kidding me?

You don't know me. Unless you have recently changed your screen name, you are new, at least lately.
It is normal for a person to feel awful during a traumatic family situation. I should know.
It is NOT normal to sleep all day, or eat small amounts of food and then vomit. This is affecting OP's life and she needs to see a professional ASAP, preferably an MD.
I have been dealing with INHERITED depression all my life. All the counseling in the world won't make it go away. My adult son also has it. My daughter does not. If you haven't experienced it, you have no idea how painful it is. If I had my choice, right now, of having my inherited depression healed, or having my terminal cancer healed, I would choose the depression. Everybody dies someday, but not everybody experiences clinical depression.
@loveislouder, If you want to PM me, I'll be glad to elaborate, but I really think you should see a doctor if you don't feel better soon. Hugs.

I, I, I...me, me, ME...my, my my. Damn, narcissistic much?

Good luck, OP. You are grieving, you are normal, and you will survive this. I hope you get help you need to help you process this blow.

What with her propensity to diagnose medical conditions, I'm surprised she hasn't given herself a Narcissistic Personality Disorder label yet. I bet there's pills for that.

rajahmd · October 2014

Hmm. Anyone surprised that @CMGragain‌ never came back to this thread to apologize for her egregious and irresponsible actions?

No? Me either.

larrygaga · October 2014

SmileDamnit said:

CMGragain said:

esstee33 said:

CMGragain said:

You have the signs of clinical depression. Clinical depression is not just a bad mood, it is a physical condition. It often accompanies serious loss. It is worse than a bad case of flu, and can last much longer. There is nothing weird about this.

You need to see a doctor as soon as possible, possibly a psychiatrist who specializes in treating severe depression. Even your GP can prescribe some medication that might help you get through this without making you sleepy or feeling drugged. Most of the prozac family of meds take about two weeks to take effect, but when they do, you will have more energy, be more focused, and will think more clearly. Get going!

Feeling awful because her parents are getting a divorce =/= clinical depression. That's a pretty serious assumption for you to make, and to recommend meds? Are you fucking kidding me?

You don't know me. Unless you have recently changed your screen name, you are new, at least lately.
It is normal for a person to feel awful during a traumatic family situation. I should know.
It is NOT normal to sleep all day, or eat small amounts of food and then vomit. This is affecting OP's life and she needs to see a professional ASAP, preferably an MD.
I have been dealing with INHERITED depression all my life. All the counseling in the world won't make it go away. My adult son also has it. My daughter does not. If you haven't experienced it, you have no idea how painful it is. If I had my choice, right now, of having my inherited depression healed, or having my terminal cancer healed, I would choose the depression. Everybody dies someday, but not everybody experiences clinical depression.
@loveislouder, If you want to PM me, I'll be glad to elaborate, but I really think you should see a doctor if you don't feel better soon. Hugs.

I, I, I...me, me, ME...my, my my. Damn, narcissistic much?

Good luck, OP. You are grieving, you are normal, and you will survive this. I hope you get help you need to help you process this blow.

That's how all her posts are.

CMGragain · October 2014

The OP and I are communicating just fine without you ladies. Sorry, but you are out of the loop on this one.

larrygaga · October 2014

CMGragain said:

The OP and I are communicating just fine without you ladies. Sorry, but you are out of the loop on this one.

Yes, the therapist who works in hospice is out of the loop on grief, depression and pills. As far as I can tell, I am the only person qualified in this thread to advise her.

Although everyone gave wonderful advice!!!!

PrettyGirlLost · October 2014

esstee33 said:

loveislouder said:

Thank you everyone for your advice, thoughts and hugs. FI and I are going to go away for a couple days and just be together but away from everything. I am okay, as long as I am not alone. The hour drive to and from work are actually brutal, but I ate some toast yesterday and feel a bit better.

That being said, please don't jump down CMGragain's throat for her post. Everyone here is just trying to help and give their opinion, and that was hers. When my mom's dad died the doctor at the hospital gave her prozac and she actually got to go to feel better.

I plan to just take a couple days and see what comes from it. My bossman is amazing and said take whatever time I need, and I graciously took him up on the offer. If I'm still not better in a couple weeks I'll head to my GP and get her to check my levels to make sure my nutrients are up before I start any pills.

You guys are all amazing and I'm so glad to have an internet family that cares about me too.

You're the best, and if any of you are ever on my side of town, I'll take you out for poutine because I'm Canadian like that.

I'm glad you're taking the time you need to get to a place where you feel better.

We're jumping down CMGr's throat because she is not licensed to give medical advice as though she's your doctor. It's reckless, irresponsible, and potentially dangerous for her to say what she did. There's a big difference between saying "I've struggled with depression and felt like you're feeling now, and here's what I did" and what she actually posted, which was basically a diagnosis, and told you to "get going!" to your doctor to ask for the pills she took when she was depressed, because obviously that'll work for you, too. She doesn't know your medical history, and recommending that you should take X pill for a disease that you may or may not even have is absolutely horrendous. I understand that her intentions were to help, but that's not helpful and could potentially be very bad.

Also, I fucking love poutine.

^This.

Also wanted to comment on something that was brought up earlier in this thread- this comment is not directed to the OP and I am not making assumptions about her personally.

CMGr mentioned she has inherited depression and therapy doesn't make it go away- well, yeah, duh! If a person has an actual chemical imbalance with the neurotransmitters in their in their brains that is causing their depression then OF COURSE talk therapy alone isn't going to remedy the issue.

That's like being highly anemic and going to talk therapy to increase your iron levels ><

PrettyGirlLost · October 2014

hellosweetie1015 said:

@loveislouder, I'm so sorry you're going through this. Give yourself time to grieve, try to start "eating" again with smoothies and milkshakes and chicken broth until you feel like you can handle real food, and if you don't get better maybe consider a clinician of some type. Divorce sucks for all parties involved.

@CMGragain, you're not a clinician. Please don't spread misinformation. Prozac and its kin are not for everyone. Antidepressants, period, are not for everyone. They can be incredibly dangerous, and shouldn't be tossed around like candy at a Christmas parade. What works for you and your son may or may not work for me, loveislouder, or Joe Schmoe down the street. Psychiatric medication and treatment is MUCH more complicated than "throw a prozac at it."

Also - in what context are you using the word "inherited"? It seems that you're using it to make the point that your depression is more severe than others' experiences because it's "inherited". In my understanding, "inherited" means that it runs in families and has exactly zero to do with severity of the disease in question. Major Depressive Disorder, Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Macular Degeneration, extra toes, and various cancers can run in families. If FI and I are both diagnosed with Macular Degeneration (which runs pretty rampant in my family but not at all in his), will one of us be "more" blind than the other, when it's all said and done?

This is why I firmly believe that ONLY a psychiatrist should be consulted if a person thinks they have a psycological issue that requires medications. @RajahBMFD may disagree and is welcome to correct me if I am misspeaking!

Sure you could go to your PCP, general practitioner, internal med specialist, etc. as they have prescription pads too, but those physicians don't have the depth of psychological training that a psychiatrist does.

I'd start with my PCP and ask for a referral to a psychiatrist.

And again, I'm just commenting in general, I'm not directing this to the OP.

blabla89 · October 2014

loveislouder said:

You're the best, and if any of you are ever on my side of town, I'll take you out for poutine because I'm Canadian like that.

Can you send some to Atlanta, please?

Seriously though, I'm so glad to hear that you're taking some time to care for yourself. You're strong, and you'll get through it. *hugs*

rajahmd · October 2014

PrettyGirlLost said:

hellosweetie1015 said:

@loveislouder, I'm so sorry you're going through this. Give yourself time to grieve, try to start "eating" again with smoothies and milkshakes and chicken broth until you feel like you can handle real food, and if you don't get better maybe consider a clinician of some type. Divorce sucks for all parties involved.

@CMGragain, you're not a clinician. Please don't spread misinformation. Prozac and its kin are not for everyone. Antidepressants, period, are not for everyone. They can be incredibly dangerous, and shouldn't be tossed around like candy at a Christmas parade. What works for you and your son may or may not work for me, loveislouder, or Joe Schmoe down the street. Psychiatric medication and treatment is MUCH more complicated than "throw a prozac at it."

Also - in what context are you using the word "inherited"? It seems that you're using it to make the point that your depression is more severe than others' experiences because it's "inherited". In my understanding, "inherited" means that it runs in families and has exactly zero to do with severity of the disease in question. Major Depressive Disorder, Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Macular Degeneration, extra toes, and various cancers can run in families. If FI and I are both diagnosed with Macular Degeneration (which runs pretty rampant in my family but not at all in his), will one of us be "more" blind than the other, when it's all said and done?

This is why I firmly believe that ONLY a psychiatrist should be consulted if a person thinks they have a psycological issue that requires medications. @RajahBMFD may disagree and is welcome to correct me if I am misspeaking!

Sure you could go to your PCP, general practitioner, internal med specialist, etc. as they have prescription pads too, but those physicians don't have the depth of psychological training that a psychiatrist does.

I'd start with my PCP and ask for a referral to a psychiatrist.

And again, I'm just commenting in general, I'm not directing this to the OP.

Actually, your (general) PCP is a good place to start. All doctors get training in diagnosing the typical mental health issues, as well as their treatment. So they can often diagnose common problems like depression and treat them fairly well. Especially when it can be hard to get in to see a psychiatrist quickly. If the typical meds don't work or the diagnosis is tricky, then they can refer you to a specialist, aka a psychiatrist, just like with any other medical condition. Just like your PCP is a good place to start if you develop breathing problems, and they can refer you to a pulmonologist for more specialized care.

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