Death with Dignity Act

RebeccaB88 · October 2014

I am 100% in favor of everyone's right to choose for themselves what happens to their bodies, and this is no exception. I hope I never had to use it, but it would be comforting to know the option was there.

Myself, Mom, and sister all have advance directives and living wills and we are each other's medical POA in the event one of us can't decide for ourselves. But everything we want is settled in our directives, all the one in charge has to do is see that it's carried out. We all agree on everything that's in the directives and are confident in our abilities to do so. Not everyone is, though. I'm also confident that I could help a loved one choose to end their suffering under this act if they needed me to.

jenna8984 · October 2014

My great grandmother is 102 years old. She lives in a nursing home, she can't walk, she can't really see anymore, or hear much anymore but her heart and brain and the rest of her vital organs work perfectly. I have seen her clutch her rosary praying "Why won't you take me? I want to be with my husband again, just take me please." I think it's so sad and she should be allowed to make that call if she chooses.

Her daughter, my grandmother (84 years old) recently went to for a check up and the doctor told her we want to run a full series of tests on you to check for xyz. My grandma said "No. I've been watching my mother live to 102 with no way out and I don't want that for myself. I have lived a wonderful life and if I have any cancers or anything, I want them to run their course." Her doctor was so pissed but he can't force tests on her.

On the opposite age spectrum, I knew a 30 year old man who was in a terrible motorcycle accident. I don't know how to describe it but his mind was ok, it was his body that was never going to recover. He would need life support and tons of care for the rest of his life. He said to his wife that he can't put her through taking care of him for the next 50 years and he wanted her to be free to lead a happy life. He chose to pull the plug on himself, and she respected that, as did all of us. It was the most courageous thing I had ever witnessed. All of us deserve to choose.

CMGragain · October 2014

I have been with two people who died in hospice care. It was beautiful. It was not suicide.
My mother would have died of septicemia from her perforated bowl if she had not chosen to discontinue dialysis. She was in a morphine dream for the last two days. Much better than suffering needlessly. Sometime in the next ten years, I will probably decide to discontinue my treatment, and have a similar end. I can do that.
I don't see the need for legislation. Anyone who doesn't have a living will that addresses their final wishes is being very foolish.

princessleia22 · October 2014

It's sad, but I agree that people should have that right to end their suffering. If there isn't any hope of recovering, why suffer if your body will be so bad off that you can't function or enjoy what life you have. And who wants to have people remember you at your worst? I've actually had to think about this concept more since I met my husband.

Neither of us wants to live incapacitated and in pain if there is no hope of enjoyable life. But, for him it extends beyond that. He does have history of cancer. And of course, recurrence is always a concern, so we have discussed that possibility. In the past, he's always said that he would rather die than go through chemo or any treatments again. He's even refused to go to doctor for routine check ups because he would just rather not know if his cancer were to come back. His reaction to treatment last time was so bad that the chemo itself nearly killed him. I wasn't there to know what he went through, so I can't judge him on that stance. But, now that we are married, he's changing his views to an extent. He's now willing to go to a doctor. And would be open to treatment options... although he's still up in the air on if he would consider chemo again. But, he would at least be willing to attempt to fight the disease. But, if his odds of survival were low and treatments would be harsh, I know he would decline treatment. He would rather live out his time in an enjoyable capacity (or as much as possible) than spend it sick from treatments that have little chance of working. Harsh treatments may allow more time, but what good is that if the quality of life is so low that it's constant misery. And as hard as it would be, and as much as I want as much time with him as possible, I'd have to support that choice if it came to that. It's his body and his life. Yes, it affects me and everyone that knows him, too. But, me asking him to suffer so we have more time is just as selfish as him wanting to end the suffering sooner. And I love him enough that I wouldn't want him to suffer any longer than needed, even if it were to mean less time with him or more pain for me... I love him enough to let him be selfish. And if it came down to speeding that process up even quicker, I know it's not a decision he would make lightly, so I'd try to be supportive of that too.

tcnoble · October 2014

I didn't read through all the responses, though I did read a few who made great points. Having watched my sister suffer through cancer all through her 20's and finally succumb to it almost a year ago after 8 years of fighting... I am 110% in support of a person's right to choose to die their way. When we saw her, mere days before she died, the first words she said to us was "I want to die." Nothing rips your heart out more than that. We are allowed to determine when an animal's quality of life is too poor to keep living, so why do we take that away from a human being who (often times) is able to communicate that their quality of life is so bad they would choose to die?

jenna8984 · October 2014

@tcnoble I'm so sorry about your sister.

And everyone else who shared about their grandparents/ friends.

blabla89 · October 2014

CMGragain said:

I have been with two people who died in hospice care. It was beautiful. It was not suicide.
My mother would have died of septicemia from her perforated bowl if she had not chosen to discontinue dialysis. She was in a morphine dream for the last two days. Much better than suffering needlessly. Sometime in the next ten years, I will probably decide to discontinue my treatment, and have a similar end. I can do that.
I don't see the need for legislation. Anyone who doesn't have a living will that addresses their final wishes is being very foolish.

There's quite a difference between choosing to discontinue life-prolonging treatment and let nature take its course, and actively choosing to end one's own life (I won't call it suicide).

When I read this woman's story, I can see why this right is so important to her and why she made her choice. On the flip side, when my mom discontinued treatment for her cancer, she was in excruciating pain for weeks but she wanted to live every last day that she possibly could. If I had to make that choice for myself, I have no idea what I would choose. But I think the right to choose is so important.

[Deleted User] · October 2014

holyguacamole79 · October 2014

pinkrevenge said:

Whatever you do, don't rad the comments on this anywhere. I'm flat-out never setting foot in a church outside of weddings and funerals ever again. My repulsion is too great.

I'm morbidly curious ... what are people saying?

beethery · October 2014

sarahbear31 said:

pinkrevenge said:

Whatever you do, don't rad the comments on this anywhere. I'm flat-out never setting foot in a church outside of weddings and funerals ever again. My repulsion is too great.

I'm morbidly curious ... what are people saying?

Horrible shit about sin. Also things about how praying to god will ease your suffering and how it's all part of god's plan.

chibiyui · October 2014

pinkrevenge said:

Whatever you do, don't read the comments on this anywhere. I'm flat-out never setting foot in a church outside of weddings and funerals ever again. My repulsion is too great.

I'm sorry. Very vocal "Christians" seem to forget all that stuff about being graceful and humble and instead act like dicks.

Of course, this is a large reason why I have a hard time finding a church that I want to go to more than once a month.

[Deleted User] · October 2014

holyguacamole79 · October 2014

pinkrevenge said:

sarahbear31 said:

pinkrevenge said:

Whatever you do, don't rad the comments on this anywhere. I'm flat-out never setting foot in a church outside of weddings and funerals ever again. My repulsion is too great.

I'm morbidly curious ... what are people saying?

I don't even want to look any more, but these tend to be the most popular opinions:
Don't go until after the holidays so your family gets another Christmas
Jesus is a healer and would heal you if you just asked him to
Only God may choose when we live and die
I knew this one person who had this thing and lived longer than expected, so don't do it
have you tried cannabis oil?
God gave you suffering for a reason don't turn your back on him
suicide is suicide and that's punishable in God's eyes. If you want to go to heaven you won't do this
think of your family, you're being selfish
God gives sinners cancer
it's not too late to find Jesus, just say this prayer!
Doctors lie, stop doing what they tell you to do
Choose life
you're too pretty to die
think about your husband
(insert biblical passage here denouncing whatever)

It's just keeps going like that, the most popular being that God doesn't want her to go and only he decides so if she takes the pills she will not go to heaven.
I've never really had faith, but I officially renounced religion today. That was the last damn straw.

I've been Catholic my whole life, and even I was disgusted by some of the stuff you shared. If I had no faith background and read some of that stuff, I don't think I would be able to associate with a church, either.

CMGragain · October 2014

Not one of those statements would be well received in the church I attend. Please don't lump all Christians together. Christians are very diverse, with many different opinions and points of view.

[Deleted User] · October 2014

princessleia22 · October 2014

pinkrevenge said:

sarahbear31 said:

pinkrevenge said:

Whatever you do, don't rad the comments on this anywhere. I'm flat-out never setting foot in a church outside of weddings and funerals ever again. My repulsion is too great.

I'm morbidly curious ... what are people saying?

I don't even want to look any more, but these tend to be the most popular opinions:
Don't go until after the holidays so your family gets another Christmas
Jesus is a healer and would heal you if you just asked him to
Only God may choose when we live and die
I knew this one person who had this thing and lived longer than expected, so don't do it
have you tried cannabis oil?
God gave you suffering for a reason don't turn your back on him
suicide is suicide and that's punishable in God's eyes. If you want to go to heaven you won't do this
think of your family, you're being selfish
God gives sinners cancer
it's not too late to find Jesus, just say this prayer!
Doctors lie, stop doing what they tell you to do
Choose life
you're too pretty to die
think about your husband
(insert biblical passage here denouncing whatever)

It's just keeps going like that, the most popular being that God doesn't want her to go and only he decides so if she takes the pills she will not go to heaven.
I've never really had faith, but I officially renounced religion today. That was the last damn straw.

Well, maybe God intentionally put the laws in place for her to die in this method. God created the medications and gave us the knowledge to use them in this way. Who's to say that this isn't God's plan for her life/death? How do they know that she isn't following her own directive from God to plow a path that will help ease the suffering of herself and others like her? What determines God's timing for taking a life anyway? Does it have to be a natural death for it to be his will? A drunk driver kills someone, did God determine that it was that persons time? Was it the drunk driver who decided? Was it an accident? Is anything even an accident? Or is it all directed by God? The truth is that nobody actually knows!

Viczaesar · October 2014

It's on our ballot and I will absolutely be posting in support of it. Your life, your choice.

flantastic · October 2014

I don't necessarily like the idea that we should be seeking as much control over our lives as we can possibly get. In my own case, I would try to leave room for hope and time for my family, even if doctors were 99.9% sure that I was going to die painfully, and soon. But this is a tough issue.

levioosa · October 2014

It makes me very sad that the most vocal Christians are usually the ones devoid of love and compassion. As @CMGragain said, please don't lump us together. Christianity as a faith is supposed to be triumphed by love and renewal, not driven by shame or condemnation. It frustrates me that people often are only exposed to negative and ignorant Christians. As a Christian I do not support 99% of statements made by internet commenters. ETA: The ones I do agree with are respectful, and sound in theology. But those are so rare you almost never see them.

I also support the right to die with dignity. However, I think any proceeding legislature needs to be extremely careful with how the law is written. It is devastating how poorly mental and emotional health is treated in the US.

beethery · October 2014

flantastic said:

I don't necessarily like the idea that we should be seeking as much control over our lives as we can possibly get. In my own case, I would try to leave room for hope and time for my family, even if doctors were 99.9% sure that I was going to die painfully, and soon. But this is a tough issue.

That's the beauty of it, you don't have to participate if it's not for you. Diff strokes/folks. Y'know?

holyguacamole79 · October 2014

princessleia22 said:

pinkrevenge said:

sarahbear31 said:

pinkrevenge said:

Whatever you do, don't rad the comments on this anywhere. I'm flat-out never setting foot in a church outside of weddings and funerals ever again. My repulsion is too great.

I'm morbidly curious ... what are people saying?

I don't even want to look any more, but these tend to be the most popular opinions:
Don't go until after the holidays so your family gets another Christmas
Jesus is a healer and would heal you if you just asked him to
Only God may choose when we live and die
I knew this one person who had this thing and lived longer than expected, so don't do it
have you tried cannabis oil?
God gave you suffering for a reason don't turn your back on him
suicide is suicide and that's punishable in God's eyes. If you want to go to heaven you won't do this
think of your family, you're being selfish
God gives sinners cancer
it's not too late to find Jesus, just say this prayer!
Doctors lie, stop doing what they tell you to do
Choose life
you're too pretty to die
think about your husband
(insert biblical passage here denouncing whatever)

It's just keeps going like that, the most popular being that God doesn't want her to go and only he decides so if she takes the pills she will not go to heaven.
I've never really had faith, but I officially renounced religion today. That was the last damn straw.

Well, maybe God intentionally put the laws in place for her to die in this method. God created the medications and gave us the knowledge to use them in this way. Who's to say that this isn't God's plan for her life/death? How do they know that she isn't following her own directive from God to plow a path that will help ease the suffering of herself and others like her? What determines God's timing for taking a life anyway? Does it have to be a natural death for it to be his will? A drunk driver kills someone, did God determine that it was that persons time? Was it the drunk driver who decided? Was it an accident? Is anything even an accident? Or is it all directed by God? The truth is that nobody actually knows!

God's will is the hardest thing we will ever try to figure out. I know I've learned a lot about drawing closer to God in the midst of suffering, but I have not been through what this woman will likely go through. I have a good friend whose daughter was born 6 years ago today and lived barely 2 days. I've learned a lot from her regarding the wisdom and faith that comes from suffering, as I have from other people who have battled other illnesses.

I absolutely do not judge anyone who makes this decision (or supports it). I just know that I couldn't do it in good conscience. I don't know how my position would change if I or my husband had this same diagnosis.

flantastic · October 2014

beethery said:

flantastic said:

I don't necessarily like the idea that we should be seeking as much control over our lives as we can possibly get. In my own case, I would try to leave room for hope and time for my family, even if doctors were 99.9% sure that I was going to die painfully, and soon. But this is a tough issue.

That's the beauty of it, you don't have to participate if it's not for you. Diff strokes/folks. Y'know?

Just seems like it could get slippery real fast in encouraging people to despair, or put pressure on them not to be a burden to their families ("Why would you put them through watching you suffer when you have the option not to?") if not done EXTREMELY carefully.

beethery · October 2014

flantastic said:

beethery said:

flantastic said:

I don't necessarily like the idea that we should be seeking as much control over our lives as we can possibly get. In my own case, I would try to leave room for hope and time for my family, even if doctors were 99.9% sure that I was going to die painfully, and soon. But this is a tough issue.

That's the beauty of it, you don't have to participate if it's not for you. Diff strokes/folks. Y'know?

Just seems like it could get slippery real fast in encouraging people to despair, or put pressure on them not to be a burden to their families ("Why would you put them through watching you suffer when you have the option not to?") if not done EXTREMELY carefully.

I don't think it will get that way unless someone decides to sell the service, which like many things, is a real possibility. It's unfortunate that it could be that way, but it's possible. Fucked-up incentive can drive a lot of things.

If it stays tightly bound within a doctor's parameters and evaluation is required throughout the lead-up time, the chances of there being a pressure behind it is very small. I don't think doctors will want their patients to die, and if any do, they shouldn't be doctors. Right?

sophhabobopha · October 2014

I feel as though people should be able to choose that route.

jenna8984 · October 2014

Did you guys see this letter? From a woman dying with cancer begging Brittany not to do it and to accept her own beautiful death as it comes. It is written very compassionately, and not from a harsh mean place, but I still think it's totally inappropriate. She mentions Jesus like 30 times, and to me (someone who doesn't believe in that) her argument would have been much more compelling without mention of this phantom who will "Shepard you in your dying".

http://www.aholyexperience.com/2014/10/dear-brittany-why-we-dont-have-to-be-so-afraid-of-dying-suffering-that-we-choose-suicide/

doeydo · October 2014

Sad that any form of "assisted suicide" in Canada is illegal. But, this issue seems to be getting more people talking about it again. http://www.cbc.ca/news/health/doctor-assisted-suicide-supported-by-majority-of-canadians-in-new-poll-1.2792762

holyguacamole79 · October 2014

jenna8984 said:
Did you guys see this letter? From a woman dying with cancer begging Brittany not to do it and to accept her own beautiful death as it comes. It is written very compassionately, and not from a harsh mean place, but I still think it's totally inappropriate. She mentions Jesus like 30 times, and to me (someone who doesn't believe in that) her argument would have been much more compelling without mention of this phantom who will "Shepard you in your dying".

http://www.aholyexperience.com/2014/10/dear-brittany-why-we-dont-have-to-be-so-afraid-of-dying-suffering-that-we-choose-suicide/

Yeah, I saw it multiple times on my news feed and read it. I'm just curious, was it her discussion of her faith that you found inappropriate, or something else? I personally didn't find the post to be all that persuasive, tbh.

raissyrais · October 2014

pinkrevenge said:

sarahbear31 said:

pinkrevenge said:

Whatever you do, don't rad the comments on this anywhere. I'm flat-out never setting foot in a church outside of weddings and funerals ever again. My repulsion is too great.

I'm morbidly curious ... what are people saying?

I don't even want to look any more, but these tend to be the most popular opinions:
Don't go until after the holidays so your family gets another Christmas
Jesus is a healer and would heal you if you just asked him to
Only God may choose when we live and die
I knew this one person who had this thing and lived longer than expected, so don't do it
have you tried cannabis oil?
God gave you suffering for a reason don't turn your back on him
suicide is suicide and that's punishable in God's eyes. If you want to go to heaven you won't do this
think of your family, you're being selfish
God gives sinners cancer
it's not too late to find Jesus, just say this prayer!
Doctors lie, stop doing what they tell you to do
Choose life
you're too pretty to die
think about your husband
(insert biblical passage here denouncing whatever)

It's just keeps going like that, the most popular being that God doesn't want her to go and only he decides so if she takes the pills she will not go to heaven.
I've never really had faith, but I officially renounced religion today. That was the last damn straw.

Oh for the love of the living. When is all that crap ever going to stop?

jynxiie · October 2014

doeydo said:

Sad that any form of "assisted suicide" in Canada is illegal. But, this issue seems to be getting more people talking about it again. http://www.cbc.ca/news/health/doctor-assisted-suicide-supported-by-majority-of-canadians-in-new-poll-1.2792762

I can definitely see this becoming legal in Canada shortly, I'm surprised it's not already.

MollyandD · October 2014

blabla89 said:

CMGragain said:

I have been with two people who died in hospice care. It was beautiful. It was not suicide.
My mother would have died of septicemia from her perforated bowl if she had not chosen to discontinue dialysis. She was in a morphine dream for the last two days. Much better than suffering needlessly. Sometime in the next ten years, I will probably decide to discontinue my treatment, and have a similar end. I can do that.
I don't see the need for legislation. Anyone who doesn't have a living will that addresses their final wishes is being very foolish.

There's quite a difference between choosing to discontinue life-prolonging treatment and let nature take its course, and actively choosing to end one's own life (I won't call it suicide).

When I read this woman's story, I can see why this right is so important to her and why she made her choice. On the flip side, when my mom discontinued treatment for her cancer, she was in excruciating pain for weeks but she wanted to live every last day that she possibly could. If I had to make that choice for myself, I have no idea what I would choose. But I think the right to choose is so important.

You said you won't call it suicide, but that's what it is called. "Physician assisted suicide" is the term used for people who choose to die by medication due to no longer wanting to live in pain. It's not insulting to call it what it is. Suicide isn't a bad word and it's not a sign of weakness. It's the act of ending one's own life by choice. That is what these men and women are doing. They are making the CHOICE to take some control in their final moments and to pass as peacefully as possible, given their situation. It's terrible and sad that it has come to this point, and most of them wish they could live longer. They may not want to die, but they choose to die quickly instead of suffering any longer. It's still suicide, and that's not a bad thing.

Also, I read more on the laws about this. For a person to qualify, he or she must be diagnosed with a terminal illness with an a life expectancy of 6 more months or less. I'll just post what I found for Oregon.

18 years or older

Resident of Oregon

Capable of making and communicating heal care wishes

Diagnosed with a terminal illness that will lead to death within six months

Death with Dignity Act

Re: Death with Dignity Act

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