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Etiquette

Don't mess with start times...

Got home from a wedding a few hours ago that said the wedding started at 11:00 on the invitation only to find out the wedding was really scheduled for 12:45. Turns out they put that on an earlier start time so people would get there on time.  Meanwhile, I left my house early to make to account for possible traffic since it was pouring this morning and arrived at 10:15.    Of course, it wasn't their fault I was super early, but I take my punctuality seriously. 

 I..... WAS.... Pissed  


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Re: Don't mess with start times...

  • What the HELL. I would be livid.

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  • The even crazier part was the ceremony didn't even start till 1:15. They couldn't even manage to be on time.... 
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  • esstee33esstee33 Pittsburgh member
    Ninth Anniversary 1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    Ugh, yeah, that is a total dick move to their guests. WTF. 
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  • falsarafalsara Northside of Chicago member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments Third Anniversary First Answer
    That's unbelievable; why are people so inconsiderate?

                                               

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  • beetherybeethery So sayeth the fuckin' Pope. member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    The FUCK???


    AN HOUR AND FORTY-FIVE MINUTES AFTER THE ALLEGED START TIME, WHICH MEANS PEOPLE WOULD HAVE ARRIVED EARLY FOR THAT TIME. SO AT LEAST TWO HOURS.


    WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK MAN?
    --

    I'm the fuck out.

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    cowgirl8238
  • bethsmilesbethsmiles Denver, CO member
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    I'm amazed you stayed. I would have been gone.


  • AddieCakeAddieCake Beyond the Wall member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    I would have been pissed, too. I tend to get to things early, so I would have been sitting there at 10:15 like you were.

    LURKERS: This is why we say to put the actual start time and don't try to trick your guests to make sure they are not late!
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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  • It was horrible because there were other people showing up early as well. The reception site was barely open yet so the few staff that was there had no idea why we were even showing up.

    The couple even inconvenienced the staff workers because there were only two or  three there at the time who were still trying to clean and set up the space in preparation for the wedding. 
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  • Ugh, my friend wound up doing this for her backyard wedding. We didn't even put her dress on until 11. When the ceremony was supposed to *start*. She thought I was exaggerating how long it takes to get ready -_-
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  • OliveOilsMomOliveOilsMom South Jersey member
    Eighth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    I would have left after an hour.  That's beyond crazy!  The few times we've actually had people ask about putting on a different start time than the actual ceremony time is usually only 15 mins.  But for this it was an hour and 45 minutes!  Insane!
  • misshart00misshart00 Oklahoma member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary First Answer
    Was anyone still late?
  • Wow, I would have been so mad. I too always show up for things early - having to wait for over two hours? That sounds awful!
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  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    Yeah, that's really inconsiderate and rude. If they were worried about latecomers then those people should have been dealt with individually by being discreetly seated at the back or asked to wait outside the danctuary-not by keeping every guest waiting by listing a phony start time on the invitation.
    TerriHuggMairePoppy
  • They were still late to the late start time?! 

    If I brought a gift, it would have magically disappeared...
    MairePoppyMommyKristin88
  • lyndausvilyndausvi Western Slope, Colorado mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its
    Ugh, some of the local St Thomas weddings were often an hour or more late in starting.   Use to drive me batty.  It was normal for them, not so much for us.   

    We eventually worked out a system that someone would call us when we should head to the church.  The island is only 14 miles long, so it's not like it took a long time to get anyway.    There were times we would hang out by a bar near the church and then run over when it was time.    






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
  • You are a far kinder, more patient person than I am.  Out of curiosity, at what point did you find out that they lied about the start time?  Because if I had found out during the wait-time, I would have left immediately.  As it was, I probably would have waited until about 11:45, maybe noon.  Then I would have left - I would have gone out to eat lunch and then headed home to watch football. 

    I am perpetually 15 minutes late.  It's something I am working on (I now only average about 7-8 minutes late usually) and it's something most of my friends know about me (one even joked that my invitation would have a start time of 15 minutes earlier so I could be "late" and arrive on time - she didn't actually do that, and I was actually on time, though it was a squeaker since I got lost and the wedding was out of town).  But even still, perpetually late person that I am, I make darn sure I am at weddings on time and even try to be at least 10-15 minutes early, if not more.  I can forgive being a little late (since I'm guilty of it myself), but I can't forgive lying.


    missxasia
  • TerriHuggTerriHugg member
    Fifth Anniversary 500 Comments 100 Love Its First Answer
    edited October 2014
    I couldn't leave because it was for my brother-in-laws wedding. Besides, I had to drive two hours  in to New York and pay $13 each way to get over the bridge so I figured I might as well stay to see something if I pad that much. 

    The crazy part is that they didn't even alert the photographers and videographers to the false start times on the invitations. So they ended up coming way too early as well. 
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  • misshart00misshart00 Oklahoma member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary First Answer
    TerriHugg said:

    I couldn't leave because it was for my brother-in-laws wedding. Besides, I had to drive two hours  in to New York and pay $13 each way to get over the bridge so I figured I might as well stay to see something if I pad that much. 


    The crazy part is that they didn't even alert the photographers and videographers to the false start times on the invitations. So they ended up coming way too early as well. 
    I can't bold on mobile but the last part makes me laugh. So they paid for two extra hours they basically didn't use at all.
    SachaBeehuskypuppy14cowgirl8238MommyKristin88
  • huskypuppy14huskypuppy14 Boston Suburbs member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    I couldn't leave because it was for my brother-in-laws wedding. Besides, I had to drive two hours  in to New York and pay $13 each way to get over the bridge so I figured I might as well stay to see something if I pad that much. 

    The crazy part is that they didn't even alert the photographers and videographers to the false start times on the invitations. So they ended up coming way too early as well. 
    I can't bold on mobile but the last part makes me laugh. So they paid for two extra hours they basically didn't use at all.
    Usually photographers come early anyway to get pictures prior to the ceremony.

    But these people sound like idiots!
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  • raissyraisraissyrais London member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    Well that's proper lack of respect right there. 15 mins ok, 30 mins at the MOST but a whole hour and 45 minutes???? I mean WTF. I wouldn't have stayed, I'd be soooooo pissed.


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  • edited June 2015

    I'm out.
    bnwright0721
  • ViczaesarViczaesar Central Coast, CA member
    Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    The last family wedding I attended started an hour and 45 minutes late, but at least it wasn't planned!  At first they were still making the bouquets, and then when she tried to put on her dress she found out that there had been an error with the seamstress and it didn't fit.  They ended up having to sew her into the dress, and her boobs were seriously up to her chin.  (It looked very uncomfortable.)  Then there was an issue with the sound system.  It was an out-of-town family wedding so we couldn't and wouldn't leave.  



  • At our wedding a whole car of people didn't make it until an hour and a half after the ceremony started.  It was a whole tables worth (8 people).  They missed the ceremony, cocktails, and came in at the tail end of the lunch service.  We all claped when they entered...they are always late!!! And not just 10 minutes late...hours late people.  My MIL joked that we should send them an invitation that said the ceremony was Friday so they would show up on time Saturday. LMAO!

    bnwright0721
  • lovesclimbinglovesclimbing Alaska member
    Sixth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    I would not be pleased. That is awful, awful, awful.

  • At our wedding a whole car of people didn't make it until an hour and a half after the ceremony started.  It was a whole tables worth (8 people).  They missed the ceremony, cocktails, and came in at the tail end of the lunch service.  We all claped when they entered...they are always late!!! And not just 10 minutes late...hours late people.  My MIL joked that we should send them an invitation that said the ceremony was Friday so they would show up on time Saturday. LMAO!

    I think that is super rude.
  • cowgirl8238cowgirl8238 member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments Fourth Anniversary First Answer
    edited October 2014

    @kmmssg I never said it wasn't...in fact it really is rude.  Mostly it was his side fo the family, but yeah...rude.

  • melbensomelbenso Hoth, apparently member
    500 Love Its 500 Comments Third Anniversary First Answer
    I would have left.  Generally, I'll give a late starting wedding 30 minutes without an explanation of why it is running late (really cranky after 10, though).  Even with an explanation on this one, I would have left with my gift. 
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  • So they basically treated all their guests as kindergartners who couldn't tell time? Classy.
    MommyKristin88
  • thisismynickname2thisismynickname2 City By The Lake member
    5000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    What is with brides and grooms CARING if people are late? You will not be less married if a handful of gawkers with poor planning skills aren't there on the dime.

    My grandma made my wedding 15 minutes late and when I found out I was LIVID. The damn "haha, did the bride get cold feet?" jokes? Thanks a lot, grandma. I was ready to go ON TIME.

    But nooooooooooooooo, we have to wait for her to decide to grace us with her presence.But I'm not holding a grudge.

    If I was a guest waiting that long I would assume someone was dead. 
    Amen to all the bolded!

    I had no idea that people were late to my ceremony until they told me during cocktail hour. I was actually amused, because DH and MIL actually asked me if we should plan to start 5-10 minutes late to accommodate these always-late family members. I said the later we start, the less time we have for drinks, so no.  We started on time! 

    ________________________________


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