How was your weekend?

eilis1228 · October 2014

@audrewuh Chris pops in and out a few times throughout the series. I just love the chemistry between them, but yeah, he's no Prince Charming. Max is super dreamy!

lilacck28 · October 2014

Yeah. They were not great seasons. And the last episode... wth! I liked Lorelai with Chris when it happened, so I wasn't so hardcore team Luke that that upset me but... yeah, all the things always getting in the way between Lorelai and any of the guys started really getting on my nerves. I wish they would give us a Harry Potter style epilogue: "And in ten years, here's where they all are!"

lilacck28 · October 2014

ps- I'm glad you like the ties! Switching from my idea of peach to pink was surprisingly difficult for my brain to wrap around, even though I just jumped on it and said "you like it? okay. let's get them". I was feeling a bit like "did I do the right thing?? Should I have waited for peach???"

I had NO idea the guys ties would cause me such concern! But once my mom started linking the ties to the flowers, it felt like SUCH a big deal!

eilis1228 · October 2014

lilacck28 said:

Yeah. They were not great seasons. And the last episode... wth! I liked Lorelai with Chris when it happened, so I wasn't so hardcore team Luke that that upset me but... yeah, all the things always getting in the way between Lorelai and any of the guys started really getting on my nerves. I wish they would give us a Harry Potter style epilogue: "And in ten years, here's where they all are!"

SITB:
EXACTLY! The universe seemed to be against Lorelai's love life during the series. The last episode was just awful. I remember throwing something at the TV and yelling, "THAT'S HOW YOU'RE ENDING IT?!" Very similar to my reaction to the How I Met Your Mother finale. I hope the head writer someday decides to spill the beans on how she envisioned the show ending so that we'll have some closure.

SITB again:
We've been stressing over the suiting stuff too. We're really early on the attire, but we wanted to give everyone a heads up as far as costs go. The BM dresses were a breeze, but the suits took us about 2 days of research and discussion to decide on. I never thought we would have such an in-depth discussion about men's suits. It's funny too how the perfect solutions to headaches like that are discovered. I think matching the flowers is a great solution, and the ties still look classy without being too cheesy or feminine. Good choice!

lilacck28 · October 2014

eilis1228 said:

lilacck28 said:

Yeah. They were not great seasons. And the last episode... wth! I liked Lorelai with Chris when it happened, so I wasn't so hardcore team Luke that that upset me but... yeah, all the things always getting in the way between Lorelai and any of the guys started really getting on my nerves. I wish they would give us a Harry Potter style epilogue: "And in ten years, here's where they all are!"

SITB:
EXACTLY! The universe seemed to be against Lorelai's love life during the series. The last episode was just awful. I remember throwing something at the TV and yelling, "THAT'S HOW YOU'RE ENDING IT?!" Very similar to my reaction to the How I Met Your Mother finale. I hope the head writer someday decides to spill the beans on how she envisioned the show ending so that we'll have some closure.

OMG YESSS. I still throw tantrums over HIMYM. THEY RUINED IT!!! Speaking of... have you watched "From A to Z" ? It stars Cristin Millioti. So far I find it really cute.

eilis1228 · October 2014

@lilacck28 I haven't yet! I've been waiting to see reviews on it and ratings info before getting too attached. I really liked her in HIMYM-- I wish the writers had figured out how to incorporate her more into the last season. I really hope her new show is successful (and good)!

eilis1228 · October 2014

@TwoDimes Don't worry, we won't spoil it.

Maybe if you go into thinking the ending will be the absolute worst thing ever, you'll be pleasantly surprised? Regardless, HIMYM is a fantastic show, and I really miss it on Monday nights. Let us know what you think of the show once you finish!

labro · October 2014

@TwoDimes I'm sorry you didn't get your puppy but I know it was the right decision for you! We got Cinders after we closed on our house and after we had moved in. I had about a week to unpack and puppy proof everything and it turned out to be enough time. I would've been way harder to do all of that with a pup underfoot...especially Cinders because she was the tinkle princess!

bethsmiles · October 2014

I've been re-watching Gilmore Girls recently and I'm on the final season. It just reminds me why I stopped watching the show. It lost it's heart. Although Paris Geller is my spirit animal, I love her and she stayed amazing from season 1 to season 7!

Don't even get me started on the final episode of HIMYM. I've never been so disappointed in a show.

AuroraRose41 · October 2014

@Peaseblossom55 I'm so sorry for your loss. Sending lots of internet hugs! Cancer really is terrible.

@eilis1228 here's hoping you won't need surgery!

@LaPeanut1018 5 DAYS!!!!!!

@TwoDimes I hope you and everyone who was with you are okay after being maced! That's insane!

My weekend was....interesting. On Friday night, BF had a meltdown about buying an e-ring. He didn't see any diamonds he liked online that were in his price range, and basically starting freaking out. I told him to calm down and asked if he needed my help, and he said he did (after previously wanting all of this to be a surprise). Well, I started looking at them on James Allen, and found some that I thought were perfect and in his price range. It turns out that his expectations are higher than mine! He could see 12 inclusions in a VS1 that I saw 0 in, and wouldn't purchase it as a result. I decided to look at some smaller diamonds, and found one that was barely in his price range that he thought looked good (0.81 CT RB, VVS1, Excellent Cut, G Color). We decided to see if a local jeweler had anything better/comparable. We decided to go to the jeweler on Sunday as we already had plans for Saturday, and left it at that.

Saturday we went to the chiropractor in the morning, followed by breakfast at a local restaurant, and then we met up with friends to take a day trip to Julian. Julian is a mountain town about an hour east of San Diego and has apple orchards. We didn't go apple picking, but we did eat apple pie, tasted some local hard ciders, and bought local produce at a farm. It was refreshing to get away from the city for the day.

On Sunday we cleaned the apartment in the morning and then walked to the custom jeweler (Only a half mile from where we live). The settings that they had were better than the ones I have seen online, and they can make it custom for the same price. They didn't show us any diamonds, as it is only by appointment, so we set another appointment for this upcoming Saturday to view those. I'm really hoping that we can get one from there that BF will approve of and that is a little bigger (like 0.9 CT) and maybe a VS1-VS2 clarity in his budget.

Then we went grocery shopping and I did a ton of cooking last night. I made a pumpkin pie, a pumpkin maple dijon vinagrette to put on salads, and a pumpkin spice latte syrup to put in my morning coffee with milk/half and half. Can you tell I like pumpkin?

Oh, and today marks 3 years of dating for us!

ETF: fixed the paragraphs and a typo

[Deleted User] · October 2014

@peaseblossom55 - So sorry to hear about your friend. :-(

My weekend was...basically completely unproductive, which was really not good because I have a huge deadline THIS FRIDAY (really Thursday night, ideally), which I'm busting ass to meet. I have to turn in my second chapter of my dissertation...it's important that I get it in on time, because my committee has told me that for me to get the letters of recommendation I need to get for the jobs I'm applying for, I have to prove that I'm really on track to graduate in May...this chapter proves that.

Saturday I went with my Mom and my Second Mom (really my pastor) to get pedicures. We had a long-standing scheduled girl time, because Pastor A's ex-husband got re-married on Saturday (they haven't even been divorced a year), and so she was having kind of a rough time. Sunday was church, then a meeting, then going to get the screen on my iPhone fixed (because my dog knocked it off my bed and it broke), then cleaning house because I have an unexpected houseguest staying tonight. Which is to say I got absolutely no work done and I'm currently locked in the library starting at the rest of my chapter research and thinking about crying.

Also the weather is rainy and freaking windy and cold which is fine except that I'd much rather be at home asleep than working.

lilacck28 · October 2014

@futuremrshistorian

You can do it! We all have those moments... take a second (just a second!), indulge the panic, and then say to yourself "NOSIREEBOB. I am awesome. I've got this" and then figure out the steps/ pieces and do one at a time.

eilis1228 · October 2014

@futuremrshistorian YOU CAN DO IT! Honestly, one of my biggest motivational thoughts while getting through grad school was, "In X days, I can do whatever the hell I want. All I have to do is suffer a little bit now, and then it'll be done, and I can celebrate."

MsSparky · October 2014

@peaseblossom55, cancer sucks. I'm so sorry to hear about your friend.

@futuremrshistorian-you can do it! A friend of mine has a saying "How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time". So take one bite at a time, and eat that elephant of your dissertation!

I had a good, although short weekend. I had work from 7:30 in the morning until 8 at night on Saturday, so that day was shot.

Sunday we crammed everything in. I cleaned up the yard in the morning, and cut back most of the vegetable plants. I've got one pepper plant that's still giving me peppers, so I'll let that go as long as I can, since I love produce right out of the garden. Then we watched the first quarter of the Ravens game, and since they had a huge lead it really wasn't a fun game to watch. Then we went to a corn maze and had so much fun! There's this ancient hidden rock in part of it that was kind of hard to find, but we had a ton of fun trying. Sunday night was birthday dinner with my parents, and the first time BF really spent much time with my parents.

Peaseblossom55 · October 2014

Thank you everyone so much for your well wishes!

bethsmiles · October 2014

@futuremrshistorian - Good luck with your dissertation chapter! You can do it!

I just need to vent real quick. One of my students gave a highly offensive speech in class today. He basically blamed atheists and the theory of evolution for suicide rates. I had a student walk out of class during the speech because she was so offended (and I feel she had every right to be offended). So now I have to figure out how to deal with this shit storm. I don't want to restrict my students' free speech but I also don't want people to feel attacked. Ugh...I'm not happy about this at all! I spoke with this student about his speech at length! It was supposed to be about society's strict vision of beauty and who we should be and that connection to suicide. He went way off topic!

AuroraRose41 · October 2014

@bethsmiles that is frustrating! I don't blame the girl either, and you reminded me of something I saw this morning on reddit. It is quite possible that the student who gave this speech needs a reminder that religious beliefs do not dictate good or bad actions, and that good people can have different religious views, and that people of all religions can decide to do bad things. I'm not sure if there is any tactful way to really convey this to this student though.

bethsmiles · October 2014

@AuroraRose41 - That is great graphic! I e-mailed my boss after class to ask for suggestions on how to handle the issue tactfully. Hopefully she'll have some good ideas!

AuroraRose41 · October 2014

I did think of one thing, but it really depends on the age of the student in question and probably needs to be done in a semi-private setting (office hours/after class) so that the kid isn't embarrassed in front of the whole class. Also, I am still at work and don't want to research this on my work computer, but I was thinking that you should be able to find the statistics of suicide rate by religion. This could possibly open a whole can of worms, but if there is a statistic that contradicts the student's views, it could also lead to a possibly interesting discussion about how to fact check before presenting (again, this is completely speculation because I don't want to type that into my work laptop).

bethsmiles · October 2014

AuroraRose41 said:

I did think of one thing, but it really depends on the age of the student in question and probably needs to be done in a semi-private setting (office hours/after class) so that the kid isn't embarrassed in front of the whole class. Also, I am still at work and don't want to research this on my work computer, but I was thinking that you should be able to find the statistics of suicide rate by religion. This could possibly open a whole can of worms, but if there is a statistic that contradicts the student's views, it could also lead to a possibly interesting discussion about how to fact check before presenting (again, this is completely speculation because I don't want to type that into my work laptop).

Unfortunately, statistically religious groups (not one in particular but just those with any religious beliefs) do commit suicide less often. Obviously that is an issue of correlation =/= causation. I think I'm going to have to approach it from the viewpoint of your experience isn't everyone's experience. For him finding religion was a huge turning point in his life and did make him re-think suicide but he needs to re-think his perspective and widen his worldview. Good thing that tends to be what college is for!

AuroraRose41 · October 2014

Again, I didn't want to research it on my current computer (didn't want the company counselors/HR emailing me asking if everything was alright etc.) and just was more of a hypothetical "if this is the case, then maybe that would foster a good discussion on this." I think the way that you are planning to handle it is probably best though.

eilis1228 · October 2014

@bethsmiles I don't think you can actually do anything other than grade how closely the student followed the assignment and how well the speech was put together and executed. If you discuss the content itself, you may run the risk of being accused of attacking the student's religious beliefs, which would open a huge can of worms. That's a really tough position to be in. :-\ I'm sorry! Hopefully your boss will be able to shed more light on how to handle such a strange situation.

bethsmiles · October 2014

@eilis1228 - I'm meeting with my boss tomorrow to talk about options. He's actually graded on content so I have to address the content.

ETA: That came off harsher than I meant it. I meant I'm not sure how to grade the content of his speech (he's graded on using appropriate persuasive techniques and audience analysis) without it coming off as attacking his beliefs. I also have other students who are now extremely hostile toward him and don't even want to be in the same room as him. So I'm unsure how to diffuse their anger and get our classroom space back to an environment where everyone feels free to voice their opinion. I can't kick the guy who gave the speech out of class (and I wouldn't even if I could). I'm more worried about that than his grade.

phira · October 2014

@futuremrshistorian One thing that helped me a lot when I was writing my qualifying exam was using an application called SelfControl (for Mac--there's something similar for PCs, but I don't remember the name), and using 1 hour long playlists. I was about to go on a trip with J and his family, where we all alternate different 1 hour playlists, so I had a ton of them already ready to go.

I blacklisted several websites in SelfControl for an hour (theknot.com, news sites, social media--almost everything), cued up a playlist, and just worked for that whole hour. If I felt like I was on a roll when the hour was up (and I'd know because the music would stop), I'd just hit another hour on the app, and then start another playlist. I couldn't just turn off the internet entirely because I had to constantly look up literature and google pathways and shit. But I blacklisted the sites I knew I went to when I was procrastinating, and wow, it worked.

@bethsmiles Obviously, we weren't there when the speech was given, but I think that it's a given that students shouldn't make arguments that belittle other people in the course. I think that this student did two things: he said things that were attacks on other students, and he completely misrepresented (to you) what his speech was going to be about.

I'm really sorry that you're dealing with this, and I hope that your boss is helpful. What a shit storm.

Unrelated: A student today emailed me regarding a scheduling conflict. He addressed me as "Ashley." I replied and signed it with my name (which is Stephanie). He replied, confirming that he'd received my email ... and addressed me as "Ashley" again. What boggles my mind even more than this is that the university email service has me listed by my full name. Like, students learn my embarrassing as hell middle name because it's automatically given when I email people from my university address. So like ... he gets emails from "Stephanie," and I sign my emails, "Stephanie," and he calls me Ashley ...

FoxandBunny · October 2014

@futuremrshistorian - Do you mind me asking what your dissertation topic is? I'm currently writing my senior thesis as a history major and am very interested.

@bethsmiles - That sucks about that student. I go to a small Christian college, but even here stuff like that doesn't fly. It would make me furious.

I am currently on fall break, so it's still the weekend for me. It's awesome.

I hung out with BF on Friday night after work. Saturday I worked all day then came back home to sleep in my own bed and hang out with my family. My parents were super excited to meet my fish for some reason and have fallen in love with him. It's pretty entertaining.

Sunday I ate lunch with my family and hung out with them until BF got off of work. I then went and helped him do a history test. Today I went and had lunch with one of my best friends at a restaurant I never get to eat at because BF doesn't like it. I then came and procrastinated working on my senior thesis by watching the bad weather.

Sadly, BF's dog passed away last night, so that's sad even though they were planning on putting him down today anyway. It was his time to go. He couldn't stand and wouldn't eat (which is saying something for a dog who would inhale anything in his path normally). It is still sad though.

bethsmiles · October 2014

@Phira - When BF was working at the state he did a lot of ordering office supplies. His worl e-mail had his full name in it and he said his name twice in an e-mail to their recycling company. They responded with an e-mail addressed to Edmund...BF's name is Andrew. I don't understand people. I've also had students who don't know my name even at the end of the semester. It's not like it's an uncommon or tricky name to learn!

And yes, the student really belittled the beliefs of anyone who doesn't believe in any god(s). He used the whole they have no guideline for ethics/morals line. I know his personal story (he told us it in a different speech) is that finding religion helped save him from his depression and give him hope in life. I feel like he could have shared his personal story and encouraged various ways of finding hope in the world without putting blame on any belief (I know atheism isn't really a belief I just don't have a better word here) system or putting religion as the only thing that can help depressed individuals. Which I would have helped him with had he been honest about his topic in the first place! There's a reason I have discussions with each student about their topic!

[Deleted User] · October 2014

@lilacck28 - Thanks! I did that earlier today, and definitely felt better afterwords.

@ellis1228 - I feel that way all the time. I don't have a graduation countdown (yet...May 8!) but I need to make one. It's basically like: "OK. When I'm done with this I can do X, and Y, and Z. And it will be AWESOME."

@MsSparky - I will eat the elephant. Slowly, and with feeling. And maybe salt.

@bethsmiles - I am SO SORRY you had to go through that with a student today. I've had similar experiences (I used to teach Freshman Comp/Critical Thinking, and got a lot of interesting perspectives). If he went off topic, he went off topic--but I think it's a good thing you're going to talk with your supervisor, even if it's just a CYA move. Have you reached out to the student who walked out? They probably need some reassurance/comfort from you.

@phira - I've thought about using a program like that, but I've discovered that as long as I can get to a library and have some classical music playing in my headphones I can focus for (at least) an hour (or, enough time to get through 1-2 sources). Still, I'm glad to know the name of that program if I need it! Also: WTF is up with your student? "Stephanie" and "Ashley" are nowhere near close to each other.

@FoxandBunny - My dissertation is about how American Protestant churches respond to the growth of terrorism (from roughly 1945-2001...ish). Also--you go to a small Christian college? I did my undergrad at a small Christian college, and wrote an honors thesis there--feel free to PM me if you want to talk more (although I probably won't see it until AFTER I turn my chapter in on Friday!).

Thanks everybody for all your good vibes! They worked--the chapter is now officially 2/3 of the way finished! This week is Fall Break, so I think that, since I don't have to teach on Wednesday or Thursday, I should be able to knock it out in time. Plus, my birthday is on Saturday, so...motivation!

bethsmiles · October 2014

@futuremrshistorian - I did talk to the student who walked out. She was still very upset but I think it helped that I let her vent and let her feel heard. She did say she didn't want to be in the same room as him but there really isn't anything I can do about that. I can't kick him out and I wouldn't want her to drop the class this far into it.

Your dissertation sounds really interesting by the way!

phira · October 2014

@bethsmiles Yeah, that's such a mess. It's wonderful that religion helped him, but still! And that's absolutely wacky about "Edmund." It's not even a common name!

@mrsfuturehistorian I really have NO idea. My last name starts with an A, but ... it shares no other similarities with "Ashley."

eilis1228 · October 2014

@bethsmiles I know what you mean, no worries. It's a tough situation to be in no matter how you look at it. I really hope your boss comes up with the perfect solution. I'm glad you talked to the student who walked out and made her feel better. I have no idea how or if you'll be able to diffuse the hostility between the students... I'm sorry!

How was your weekend?

Re: How was your weekend?

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