The Imp of the Perverse

lc07 · October 2014

I had no idea there was a technical term for this. I find myself thinking these things often. For example, if I'm at an event and walk by a small tower of clean stacked wine glasses or drink glasses, I think about how awesome it would be to knock the whole thing over.

What does your imp tell you to do that would be awesomely bad?

luckya23 · October 2014

Brake checking someone enough to buy me a new car. Generally ramming idiots with my car, too.

LadyMillil · October 2014

alucky23 said:

Brake checking someone enough to buy me a new car. Generally ramming idiots with my car, too.

Ditto.

novella1186 · October 2014

lc07 said:

I had no idea there was a technical term for this. I find myself thinking these things often. For example, if I'm at an event and walk by a small tower of clean stacked wine glasses or drink glasses, I think about how awesome it would be to knock the whole thing over.

What does your imp tell you to do that would be awesomely bad?

That would be so awesome and somehow oddly satisfying. My parents have a HUGE glass door, like the size of a wall, and I've always wanted to throw a rock through it and watch that giant wall of glass come crashing down. Not that I ever would. I'd hate to know how much it would cost to replace that thing.

I also would love to knock bad drivers off the road. Hm... what else? This could be a dangerous line of thought for me

novella1186 · October 2014

Oh wait! Got it. I -- in real life-- started a journal called "shit I can't say." Sometimes I would like to just say it. I write in it a lot after I've been on FB.

For example, FI's friend as a crazy AW girlfriend, and she posted a picture of two shot glasses with the caption "taking a shot together!" I just wanted to comment and say "no you're not, you're taking a photo so you can post it on social media and pretend to be having fun while the person you're with is probably sitting there bored out of his mind while your rude ass plays on your phone."

hellosweetie1015 · October 2014

I keep having the urge to stir shit on E when I'm bored.

IRL I really just want to punch people. Like. Just punch them. In the nose. All the people.

I shouldn't work with the public.

falsara · October 2014

Oh, the imp in me would love to tell the parents that call my office "mam, if your child would like to make an appointment with the academic advisor then please put them on the phone. They are now adults, if you continue to coddle them and refuse to make them learn how to set up an appointment then they will fail at life. Your kid is over 18, and needs to be able to pick his college classes without your help, this includes them asking you to call our office instead of them doing it themselves. Especially since I can hear you call in across the room you're in to get his information.

Sorry for the rant, my day at work was full of helicopter parents.

levioosa · October 2014

Sometimes I really want to pull fire alarms.

Ditto hitting dumb drivers with my car to prove a point.

theycallmelinz · October 2014

hellosweetie1015 said:

I keep having the urge to stir shit on E when I'm bored.

IRL I really just want to punch people. Like. Just punch them. In the nose. All the people.

I shouldn't work with the public.

I want punch kids. Right in the face, all the time. I have to go to court once a month because that's how I get new kids for therapy, and last month this prissy little 13 year rolled her eyes TWICE at the judge while he was talking to her. I literally had to put my hand in my lap to keep from slapping her out of her chair.

kat1114 · October 2014

ETA: Whoops I posted on the wrong post. Note to self- no Knotting before coffee.

lurkergirl · October 2014

kat1114 said:

I would definitely tell HR. If you feel like they don't take it seriously, I would file a complaint with the EEOC. Yes, you won't be working there anymore, but as PPs have stated, you can help stop this behavior from happening other women at your current workplace.

Sexual harassment thread?

@kat1114

kat1114 · October 2014

lurkergirl said:

kat1114 said:

I would definitely tell HR. If you feel like they don't take it seriously, I would file a complaint with the EEOC. Yes, you won't be working there anymore, but as PPs have stated, you can help stop this behavior from happening other women at your current workplace.

Sexual harassment thread? @kat1114

Haha, yes. No coffee and multiple windows open is no conducive to Knotting.

hellosweetie1015 · October 2014

lulu411 said:

hellosweetie1015 said:

I keep having the urge to stir shit on E when I'm bored.

IRL I really just want to punch people. Like. Just punch them. In the nose. All the people.

I shouldn't work with the public.

I want punch kids. Right in the face, all the time. I have to go to court once a month because that's how I get new kids for therapy, and last month this prissy little 13 year rolled her eyes TWICE at the judge while he was talking to her. I literally had to put my hand in my lap to keep from slapping her out of her chair.

Entitled kids are the WORST OMG. I have 5 years of afterschool experience, so my ability to keep kids under control is pretty set, but occasionally one of Bossman's clients brings her kids in and leaves them in my waiting room and I literally cannot do anything while they're here because I have to watch them. I've never punched a kid, but 10 year olds with complexes and smart mouths get perilously close.

penguin44 · October 2014

I always have this urge to reach out and knock over all of the jars of pasta sauce or jelly at the grocery store. I don't know why. I want to see what would happen I guess.

raissyrais · October 2014

Every time someone says something negative to someone else right in their faces, I have thoughts of knifing them right there in their eyes. I also like the idea of messing beautiful buttercream patterns with my hands. I like thinking about stealing children's ice cream.

novella1186 · October 2014

penguin44 said:

I always have this urge to reach out and knock over all of the jars of pasta sauce or jelly at the grocery store. I don't know why. I want to see what would happen I guess.

omg me too! That's a good one!

AlexaF2014 · October 2014

I work at an city university and driving into work I sometimes get the urge to punch the gas and hit students in the crosswalk. Mostly, it's the ones that don't look before crossing or are on their cell phones that cause this reaction.

I also want to punch the gas when a let a car in/change lanes in front of me and they don't do the "thank you wave." I let you in, it ain't that hard to raise your hand!

AuroraRose41 · October 2014

I always have the urge to keep driving and not slam on the brakes when a pedestrian crosses the street in the middle of the block between cars and not in the crosswalk at the intersection 20 feet away. I would never actually do that on purpose, but it always crosses my mind to teach them a lesson, and I am also petrified that it is going to happen accidentally.

amelisha · October 2014

Nothing like this has ever occurred to me. Is there something wrong with me? Even reading these things makes my heart pound a bit, anxiously.

doeydo · October 2014

Thinking about punching and hurting people, in general

When I am making cookies or something, it is like I am so powerful, I determine their "life or death". I can add more butter and they'll be all mushy and spread all over the pan, for instance.
Oh, and when someone is sitting/walking there on their phone, I so badly want to do something like this: (at about 24 seconds)

http://www.aetv.com/duck-dynasty/video/phil-puts-the-grandsons-to-work

arrippa · October 2014

levioosa said:

Sometimes I really want to pull fire alarms.

Ditto hitting dumb drivers with my car to prove a point.

Yep, sometimes when I walk by a fire alarm I get the urge to pull it.

lc07 · October 2014

I also sometimes have the urge to run around yelling nonsense and flailing my arms to disrupt normalcy in places like airports and shopping malls.

beethery · October 2014

I am another pedestrian hater. Especially if you cross when your signal is telling you not to. If you make me miss my light, the imp is telling me to run you down, and my mouth is already screaming at you.

lc07 · October 2014

beethery said:

I am another pedestrian hater. Especially if you cross when your signal is telling you not to. If you make me miss my light, the imp is telling me to run you down, and my mouth is already screaming at you.

Ooo.. especially if they are walking as slow as humanly possible and know you are waiting.

lc07 · October 2014

lurkergirl said:

kat1114 said:

I would definitely tell HR. If you feel like they don't take it seriously, I would file a complaint with the EEOC. Yes, you won't be working there anymore, but as PPs have stated, you can help stop this behavior from happening other women at your current workplace.

Sexual harassment thread? @kat1114

But, I mean, this is pretty solid advice. If someone is knocking over wine glasses, hitting people with cars and pulling fire alarms, HR should absolutely be notified so this doesn't happen to other women.

beethery · October 2014

lc07 said:

lurkergirl said:

kat1114 said:

I would definitely tell HR. If you feel like they don't take it seriously, I would file a complaint with the EEOC. Yes, you won't be working there anymore, but as PPs have stated, you can help stop this behavior from happening other women at your current workplace.

Sexual harassment thread? @kat1114

But, I mean, this is pretty solid advice. If someone is knocking over wine glasses, hitting people with cars and pulling fire alarms, HR should absolutely be notified so this doesn't happen to other women.

You've earned them!

lc07 · October 2014

beethery said:

lc07 said:

lurkergirl said:

kat1114 said:

I would definitely tell HR. If you feel like they don't take it seriously, I would file a complaint with the EEOC. Yes, you won't be working there anymore, but as PPs have stated, you can help stop this behavior from happening other women at your current workplace.

Sexual harassment thread? @kat1114

But, I mean, this is pretty solid advice. If someone is knocking over wine glasses, hitting people with cars and pulling fire alarms, HR should absolutely be notified so this doesn't happen to other women.

You've earned them!

Thanks. I hoped I earned a bucket of margaritas, too? I need them today.

jdluvr06 · October 2014

I've always wanted to dump hot coffee on this jackass who is always hanging out outside my building at work.

jnrsgirl · October 2014

I get urges to light things on fire and impale my asshole neighbor at time. He and his bastard kids were hurting a poor pitbull puppy that was outside on a chain. They threw rocks and sticks at it and hit it and yelled at it (not their animal btw). The dog belonged to another neighbor. When the douchebag's kid ran up and tried to smack the dog with a stick, the dog bit her on the leg.

I had gone out to tell him off earlier and called the cops who did nothing. But after the girl got bitten, the cops finally bother to come. They put the dog down, and the asshole sued the neighbor and his landlord.

I would love to shove burning objects up that guy's ass...

jdluvr06 · October 2014

jnrsgirl said:

I get urges to light things on fire and impale my asshole neighbor at time. He and his bastard kids were hurting a poor pitbull puppy that was outside on a chain. They threw rocks and sticks at it and hit it and yelled at it (not their animal btw). The dog belonged to another neighbor. When the douchebag's kid ran up and tried to smack the dog with a stick, the dog bit her on the leg. I had gone out to tell him off earlier and called the cops who did nothing. But after the girl got bitten, the cops finally bother to come. They put the dog down, and the asshole sued the neighbor and his landlord. I would love to shove burning objects up that guy's ass...

Wtf? No fucking way should that dog have been put down. The owner should sue the parents of the little brat.

AuroraRose41 · October 2014

lc07 said:

beethery said:

I am another pedestrian hater. Especially if you cross when your signal is telling you not to. If you make me miss my light, the imp is telling me to run you down, and my mouth is already screaming at you.

Ooo.. especially if they are walking as slow as humanly possible and know you are waiting.

I forgot about this one! But yes, this also drives me crazy, especially when they step out in front of me when I have the right of way and wasn't previously stopped at the light i.e. every light is green and I am doing 30+ and they step out in front of me ANYWAYS. I also have a desire to send these people the bill for my next brake replacement.

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