Dear Prudence,
I have been working as a gardener for the gardening columnist of a newspaper. I was laid off from my real job several months ago, and this is a stop-gap measure to avoid poverty. The columnist is rich and also eccentric. The latter is most obviously expressed through her frequent, loud, and lengthy farts. At some point she made it plain that she has no health complaints, aside from the arthritis that requires her to hire me, so she has no disease that causes uncontrolled flatulence. The first time she blasted one, I almost thought I’d imagined it, because she went right on talking as if nothing had happened. I’ve concluded that the Garden Farter sees me as the help so it doesn’t matter what she does in front of me. On the occasion of one recent fart, I announced, “Excuuuuse you!” She replied, “I hope you’re not mortally offended” in a tone that suggested I was the one with the problem. She does have professional connections and acts like she wants to help me out job-wise. I don’t think she will fire me if I say something, but what should I say?