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DIY Wedding Forum
staceydearest
member
Informal Reception Meals..
My FI and I have been looking at keeping a fairly modest wedding budget. One of the ways we plan on saving money is by avoiding catering. We've been to weddings in the past where the catering has fallen short of expectations, and we're looking for more of a "family" style reception. Plus, there isn't a single person in our families that isn't talented when it comes to cooking.
We're planning on having an autumn wedding, and had talked about something along the line of sandwiches and a soup bar.. (his grandmother's potato soup, my dad's chili.. so on..) But my MIL thinks it would be too informal. My FI and I have talked about it, and we both like the idea of having different options available to our guests without breaking the budget.
We are planning on having our RSVPs be in the form of recipe cards, so I feel like having homemade food at our reception would be a good way to tie everything together if we had some of our favorite homemade dishes included in the reception.
I'm not sure if the idea of serving soup is too informal... any opinions or ideas on what to serve?
Edit: We would be using our family members recipes, not making them cook..
We're planning on having an autumn wedding, and had talked about something along the line of sandwiches and a soup bar.. (his grandmother's potato soup, my dad's chili.. so on..) But my MIL thinks it would be too informal. My FI and I have talked about it, and we both like the idea of having different options available to our guests without breaking the budget.
We are planning on having our RSVPs be in the form of recipe cards, so I feel like having homemade food at our reception would be a good way to tie everything together if we had some of our favorite homemade dishes included in the reception.
I'm not sure if the idea of serving soup is too informal... any opinions or ideas on what to serve?
Edit: We would be using our family members recipes, not making them cook..
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Informal Reception Meals..
This sounds like a Potluck reception. Potluck receptions are against etiquette, as your guests should never have to make anything for your wedding.
Options for Cheap catering include:
Costco, (They can do sandwhiches)
Other grocery stores
Try regular restaurants - instead of catering companies.
You can also have your wedding during a non-meal time, and serve them cake and punch, or have a cocktail reception, which would drastically cut down on the cost.
GL
I'm the fuck out.
@staceydearest, thanks for clearing that up in your OP!! Soups and sandwiches sound wonderful!!!
Just a few things to think about - do you know how long you will have to make everything? Are you going to have time to do all of that in and amongst all the other stuff that will be going on for the wedding?
I'm the fuck out.
I think you should figure out how many people you want to invite first in this case, because this has the potential to balloon cost wise really fast.
On the other hand, being a very young couple with a very supportive family that are more than willing to offer a hand at preparing food we wouldn't turn it down. Is that not what family is for anyway? Would it be rude of us to tell them that we would prefer to break our budget by hiring out a catering company when grandma's mashed potatoes are better than anything I can get from Costco?
This is supposed to be a DIY forum. Last time I checked that stood for Do It Yourself. Last time I checked I didn't work at a chain restaurant, and neither did my FI. For that matter, this is supposed to be a supportive forum environment, and frankly I'm tired of people being rude.
I assume that most of us came to this forum in search of support and new ideas, not blind criticism. I hope this clears up any confusion from this point on, from you or anyone else.
If you want to save money here are two biggest ways to do it: 1) limit your guest list and 2) have your wedding/reception at a non-meal time. If the event is at a non-meal time, you are not obligated to serve a meal. You can serve light refreshments, cake and punch. These are by far the cheapest weddings and MUCH easier to DIY than a meal. You could still incorporate family recipes in the form of cold apps that you could make ahead of time.
Wins all around!
ETA the cheapest wedding is actually eloping to the nearest courthouse, but it sounds like that's not in the cards.
"Would it be rude of us to tell them that we would prefer to break our budget by hiring out a catering company when grandma's mashed potatoes are better than anything I can get from Costco?"
That's a valid, important point because it highlights the drastic differences in attitudes towards food. In some families, preparing food for that many people would be seen as an burdensome, overwhelming, daunting task. Most people do not have experience with that volume of food prep and a wedding is no time to try something new. For those people, it makes sense to hire a caterer or buy from a grocery store or restaurant. For other families, food is just what you do and it only makes sense to do your wedding food yourself. In my own nutty family, for example, it would be seen as an affront to serve my guests food from costco rather than let my aunts/grandmother/cousins/whatever cook the food that we all know and love. To them it doesn't feel like work. Cooking for our family is part of how we celebrate. In my case, I'm designing the menu. I'm having a big food prep day the day before our wedding and then leaving it to my aunts, etc. to actually cook the day of. We're doing a family-style meal and the bridal party will actually serve it. To me, that sounds fun. Really really fun.
The best advice that I can offer is that if this feels to you like you are putting somebody out or like it will add a layer of stress to your day, don't do it. It's worth spending the money to avoid being stressed and overwhelmed about soup the day you're supposed to get married. But if this is something that sounds nice to you and your relatives, go for it! It wouldn't be acceptable to ask anybody to take this on for you, but if it's something that they've offered and want to do, there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. Only you know your family and what is polite/acceptable to them in this situation.
Signed,
Girl whose grandma managed a local grocery deli and bakery department and knows how fucking hard bulk food prep and management is.
Also, a reception is a thank you party to your guests for coming to and witnessing your ceremony. You don't thank your guests by making them work for their own party. Don't you think your family also deserves to enjoy the party instead of spending the time in the kitchen reheating food?
There are lots of ways to save money on food and not break your budget, but it shouldn't come at the expense of your guests and cutting into their time to relax, enjoy the day, socialize with friends and family.
*Get the food from a grocery deli and hire a couple of high school kids from your church for a little pocket money to do the set-up and clean-up
*Have it at a non-meal time and just have cake, punch, and a few nibbles
*Look into restaurant catering (usually much cheaper than caterers)
(Also, my grandmother made the best potato cheese soup, in my opinion. Would she have been flattered if I said I wanted to serve it at my wedding? Absolutely. Would she have thought I was rude to say "Well, I'm going to get soup from XYZ place instead of serving your soup?" Nope. She would have been the first person shoving whatever money she had in her purse into my hand saying "Oh, thank you my dearest *insert embarrassing childhood nickname here* for not making me do all that work making soup for 100. I would have done it for you because I love you, but I'm so relieved to not have to do all that work. I'm sure whatever you pick will be delicious. You've always had such good taste.")
Yup, you're right. My family is just a bunch of cunts who hate to help me out. Oh wait, no.