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Wedding Party

Fiance's Daughter in the Wedding Party

My fiance has an 8 year old daughter and I LOVE her to death!  I need help coming up with some ideas on how to make her a special part of the day without her just being a flower girl. I also thought about a junior bridesmaid, but that just doesn't seem quite as special either.  So, I'm just at a loss about what to do.  I could you some advice from all you creative folks.  Help!  :-)

Re: Fiance's Daughter in the Wedding Party

  • Wow, my question was not intended to be offensive to anyone who chose to have a daughter be a flowergirl.  Just looking for ideas for other options for my wedding.  If this is offensive in any way, please disregard.
  • holyguacamole79holyguacamole79 a taco truck in Houston member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    My fiance has an 8 year old daughter and I LOVE her to death!  I need help coming up with some ideas on how to make her a special part of the day without her just being a flower girl. I also thought about a junior bridesmaid, but that just doesn't seem quite as special either.  So, I'm just at a loss about what to do.  I could you some advice from all you creative folks.  Help!  :-)

    Wow, my question was not intended to be offensive to anyone who chose to have a daughter be a flowergirl.  Just looking for ideas for other options for my wedding.  If this is offensive in any way, please disregard.

    Flower girl is an absolutely appropriate role for her.
  • "Junior" bridesmaid is a made up title. They're bridesmaids, regardless of age. Either bridesmaid or flower girl is appropriate, whichever you choose.
  • Bridesmaid. Or she could be a groomsmaid and stand on her dad's side.

    doeydoOliveOilsMom[Deleted User]
  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    Flower girl is just fine for that age.  Or you can make her a bridesmaid (no junior in front of it).
  • My 13 year old daughter was my MOH.
    Daisypath Anniversary tickers
  • I just came from a wedding the wife had a 7 year old daughter, they brought her up on the stage with them while they were doing their vows and they both told her how special she was to them and how she made everything complete. It was the most touching and most memorable part of the ceremony.
  • valid point ladies, yes obviously ask them first to see if they are comfortable, but its still to this day what everyone is talking abut, it gave me goose bumps. OP Good luck and let us know what you decide
  • AddieCakeAddieCake Beyond the Wall member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    Being a flower girl is "special enough." Or make her a bridesmaid or groomsmaid. Don't try to come up with some alternate or different role.
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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    doeydoOliveOilsMomJen4948lc07
  • You could give her the choice to be a bridesmaid or a flower girl. I know most of my girl students, I'm a 3rd grade teacher, love bragging about times they got to be flower girls. They feel very special in the role, and several of them were flower girls in their parents' weddings.
  • flantasticflantastic The Midwest member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    allysia02 said:
    valid point ladies, yes obviously ask them first to see if they are comfortable, but its still to this day what everyone is talking abut, it gave me goose bumps. OP Good luck and let us know what you decide
    Doesn't matter if inappropriate and especially not if weird for the kid.
  • holyguacamole79holyguacamole79 a taco truck in Houston member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    allysia02 said:

    I just came from a wedding the wife had a 7 year old daughter, they brought her up on the stage with them while they were doing their vows and they both told her how special she was to them and how she made everything complete. It was the most touching and most memorable part of the ceremony.

    If it takes a 7 year old to make a relationship complete, something is still missing.
    lc07doeydo[Deleted User]
  • Wow, sarahbear, who stepped on you today?  I think that was a lovely sentiment that ally saw.  To mrsmalelasissy, cheers to you for wanting your new daughter to really be a part of the whole event.  It matters not a bit what you call her at the ceremony or reception.  The fact that you want her to feel special will be evident in everything you do.  Just make sure you pay her that much attention throughout the event and she will feel like the queen of the world. Lucky little girl.
  • holyguacamole79holyguacamole79 a taco truck in Houston member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    I'm actually in a great mood, and while the sentiment is sweet ... A couple shouldn't need a child to "complete" them.
    lc07chibiyuidoeydo[Deleted User]
  • slothiegalslothiegal The Sloth Farm member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer Name Dropper
    edited October 2014
    allysia02 said:
    I just came from a wedding the wife had a 7 year old daughter, they brought her up on the stage with them while they were doing their vows and they both told her how special she was to them and how she made everything complete. It was the most touching and most memorable part of the ceremony.
    Yeah....there are lots of times when you can celebrate your child and how special and important they are. A wedding (ESPECIALLY during vows, holy inappropriate/creepy) is not one of them.

    OP, flower girl or brides/groomsmaid are perfectly fine, "special enough" (whatever that means) roles for her.
    Eta boxes
    Anniversary

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    chibiyuidoeydo
  • chibiyuichibiyui The Boring Part of MD member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 5 Answers
    Wow, sarahbear, who stepped on you today?  I think that was a lovely sentiment that ally saw.  To mrsmalelasissy, cheers to you for wanting your new daughter to really be a part of the whole event.  It matters not a bit what you call her at the ceremony or reception.  The fact that you want her to feel special will be evident in everything you do.  Just make sure you pay her that much attention throughout the event and she will feel like the queen of the world. Lucky little girl.

    You see a lovely sentiment, but many of us see future therapy conversations.
    image



    Anniversary
    doeydo[Deleted User]
  • You could invite her to get ready for the wedding with you, if her dad and mom are comfortable with that.

    If you're getting a manicure and dad and mom are cool with her having one, then treat her to a girls day.  

    You could get her a bracelet or necklace and give it to her as a remembrance of the day.  Just do it privately with you, your new husband and your new step daughter.

    Have the photographer take a few pictures with you and her, and the three of you.  Display it in your home in a beautiful frame.

    Bridesmaid, groomsmaid or flower girl are all special roles for your future step daughter.

    Just don't have her involved in any vows.  
    MairePoppyslothiegal[Deleted User]Kauris
  • My fiance has 2 awesome kids.  His ex wife is remarrying in the spring and we are getting married in the fall.  His son (who will be 7 at his moms wedding and 8 at ours) will be the ring bearer and his daughter (5 at moms wedding and 6 at ours) will be the flower girl.  It's super special because they will be the only people at the weddings that have that role.  

    We are also going to give a little speech at our rehearsal dinner and include them in how much we love them and are a family together (not doing it during the ceremony because the ceremony is about us committing to each other as husband and wife, not about being parents and step parents.)  His daughter will get ready with me and the bridesmaids for a bit that day (have her hair done) while his son hangs with the guys getting ready.  Honestly it's special because what we have together is special, not because of any specific "title" the kids are given on that day.

    I think making her the flower girl, picking out her dress together and just telling her you love her and are so excited to have her part of your day is the way to go.  If her parents are ok with it, have her get ready with you as well!
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    [Deleted User]
  • lyndausvilyndausvi Western Slope, Colorado mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its
    I think being a BM is appropraite. 






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
    [Deleted User]
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