When you just wanna smack him...

huskypuppy14 · October 2014

Guys I feel like I could be some of your husbands.

I've licked my husband's face before. It's not like all the time, it's actually pretty rare. I would never do it out in public or anything. The mail thing was a lot worse in our old apartment, there was just no room for anything, so it would just pile up. We are so much better about it in our house.

I swear I'm not weird.

theartistformerlyknownas · October 2014

huskypuppy14 said:

Guys I feel like I could be some of your husbands.

I've licked my husband's face before. It's not like all the time, it's actually pretty rare. I would never do it out in public or anything. The mail thing was a lot worse in our old apartment, there was just no room for anything, so it would just pile up. We are so much better about it in our house.

I swear I'm not weird.

I can normally relate more with the husbands in the gripes than the wives. Not with the licking, but I'm the slob of the two of us. I leave spots on the mirror. I never put my glass in the dishwasher. My mail is everywhere. I never make the bed. I just let the dog in without realizing she's completely soaking wet. Whoopsie.

raissyrais · October 2014

Damn fool tries to crack my knuckles all the time and he knows how much I hate it. He gets a high doing it. And when I'm wearing spikey heels, he'l make sure to push me gently in those metal grid/tracks that can be found on sidewalks sometimes. And he enjoys to watch poor stuck me trying to get out of it.

lurkergirl · October 2014

I also have a face licker. He's cut back a lot since I started licking back. A couple awkward instances of licking each others' tongues (which for some reason is significantly grosser than just french kissing) has really led to a decrease in having my face licked.

I basically run our household, and I run a tight ship, so I don't have major chore problems

The big thing that bothers me is FI will get an idea in his head, and when I try to explain why it won't work, he says, "naaahhhh." Like what are you fucking 13? Because that's exactly how my 13 year old sister talks! Example:

Me: Hey, so looks like we can't have fireworks at the new venue.
Him: What? Why not?
Me: Well, no burning is allowed besides candles.
Him: Nahhh, it'll be fine.
Me: Um, no, not fine at all. Major liability, not to mention who is going to light them and clean up?
Him: We'll make the kids do it.

AAAHHHH!!! He is mostly joking, but it still bugs me!

buttercup1958 · October 2014

I love V but he takes foreverrrr to explain things. I know he is trying to help and I think its adorable. But I kinda start to lose my mind when he takes over an hour to explain one thing ha.

charlieyankee03 · October 2014

Mine too with the mail! In general, we keep our house pretty tidy. But he NEVER goes through his mail. If he does, he leaves it all over the coffee table or kitchen table or wherever he happened to open it. I'm a little OCD about how I handle mail. I sort through it, open everything and put the envelopes and junk mail into a pile for recycling, then put together a pile of things to be shredded and bills and such that need addressing. I've actually taken to just opening his mail (he has given me permission to do so) and letting him know about anything of importance.

FI is also TERRIBLE at cleaning dishes. He's an amazing cook and loves to do it, but when he tries to be sweet and clean up after himself I always end up having to rewash stuff behind him. He can vacuum and clean the rest of the house without issue, yet he somehow misses the sauce coating an entire side of a container. The worst is when he puts stuff away like that and I end up having to pull out the unclean item, plus whatever it touched. At least the sentiment is there, right? Right?

novella1186 · October 2014

raissyrais said:

Damn fool tries to crack my knuckles all the time and he knows how much I hate it. He gets a high doing it. And when I'm wearing spikey heels, he'l make sure to push me gently in those metal grid/tracks that can be found on sidewalks sometimes. And he enjoys to watch poor stuck me trying to get out of it.

OMG! FI always tries to crack my toes while I'm lying on the couch and it hurts. I try to kick him and wiggle around so he can't do it, but he will seriously wrestle me and hold me down to crack my stupid toes. I'm always like "WHY?!" I don't understand why anyone would want to mess with someone else's toes, let alone crack them, especially when they're spazzing out the whole time and yelling "OW, WEIRDO!"

LakeR2014 · October 2014

I think my DH is a closet hoarder. He cannot throw anything away. He seriously has at least 8 different deodorant's in our place that are for all intents and purpose's done but he won't throw them out because 'they're good to have in an emergency if he runs out.' What!? Maybe one, but 8!?!

He'll hoard them until they fill up a bathroom drawer or the nightstand and I can't stand them anymore and do a clean sweep, because both of those things can be used for something way better then an old deodorant holder.

Oh and his socks and underwear....everywhere but where they should be...It's like the laundry basket offends him. Grrrr....

I do love the man though.

wandajune6 · October 2014

Neither of us is very neat. SS is a filthy beast. Yet DH is always surprised that the house is a mess. He's convinced he's neat and that any filthy is my fault, despite clear signs of his mess all over the place.

I'm sick as a dog right now (sleeping away my days, voice is gone, etc.) and he's been great about taking care of me but when I came out of our room last night, I saw how horribly trashed our kitchen was. Disgusting. And he still thinks he's the clean one!

And I absolutely hate his constant "yo mama" jokes. His 10 year old nephew thinks it's hysterical and has started saying it regularly. I told him that it's the kind of joke you tell when you don't have anything smarter to say. DH didn't love it but his sister did!

melbenso · October 2014

DH does two things that drive me absolutely crazy.

The apartment he lived in before we moved in together didn't have a garbage disposal, so he wasn't used to using one. We've lived together for nearly 5 years now, with our garbage disposal. He still throws food in the sink and doesn't turn on the garbage disposal (or throws it on the side that doesn't have the garbage disposal). But he's slowly getting better at that one.

The thing he does that drives me completely insane is telling me how to do things I already know how to do. Example: "You'll want to get off the highway at the next exit." - Yes, I know, I've been driving to your mom's house for years now. Or "Don't forget to put the carrots in the soup." - Yep. I've been making this for dinner longer than I've known you, I think I can manage it. He's just trying to help. But unintentionally implying that I am incompetent doesn't really help all that much.

mschristie123 · October 2014

novella1186 said:

raissyrais said:

Damn fool tries to crack my knuckles all the time and he knows how much I hate it. He gets a high doing it. And when I'm wearing spikey heels, he'l make sure to push me gently in those metal grid/tracks that can be found on sidewalks sometimes. And he enjoys to watch poor stuck me trying to get out of it.

OMG! FI always tries to crack my toes while I'm lying on the couch and it hurts. I try to kick him and wiggle around so he can't do it, but he will seriously wrestle me and hold me down to crack my stupid toes. I'm always like "WHY?!" I don't understand why anyone would want to mess with someone else's toes, let alone crack them, especially when they're spazzing out the whole time and yelling "OW, WEIRDO!"

My dad used to do that to me when I was little! Drives me crazy. He does it to my mom, and will grab her hand and try to crack her knuckles too! So weird.

Biggest complaint that I have about DH is not that he's a procastinator (because he is!) but he freaking denies it! I have to nag and nag and nag for him to get something done, and when I call him out on procrastinating, he'll just saying something like, "oh well that's when I wanted it to get done originally." Whatever. We just moved, and I'm literally begging him to go through the apartment with me and hang up pictures and frames, etc NOW, because before I know it, 6 months will have gone by and I won't have shit on my walls.

PrincessOfHavoc · October 2014

The face licking! Ack! I swear, I'm dealing with a toddler. "We are not dogs! We do not lick people in the face!" should not need to be said to an adult.

He also will never get anything out of my purse. Ever. I ask, he brings me my purse. Just get the damn tablet out.

He also has a thing with taking any clips or ponytail holders out of my hair. Really? Got him however, he can't figure out spin pins, so he at least leaves my hair alone if he can't see the clip.

loro929 · October 2014

FI does two things that really drive me over the wall.

1. He is a non-looker. What does that mean, you may ask? It is someone who superficially looks around for something, claims it is ABSOLUTELY WITHOUT A DOUBT NOT THERE and then I walk over and find it in about 2-milliseconds because I move something to the side or pick something up.

2. He is a re-cleaner. Now, I should be on my knees praising that FI is a meticulous cleaner who likes everything tidy and orderly. However, he is also very VERY particular and liked things cleaned in his way. This consists of me cleaning up the kitchen after dinner because he mentioned he was tired froma long days work. Then, when everything is done, I go to the living room to watch some TV and I find him back in the kitchen re-passing things with a sponge. lol I swear I am not a bad cleaner, its just not done in HIS particular way.

jimandpam87 · October 2014

This actually bothers me when anyone does it, but FI likes to do it more than anyone else.

I'm in the middle of telling a story or relaying my day, etc. Mid-sentence, he will suddenly exclaim something completely irrelevant, like, "HEY THERE'S A PUPPY!!" Like, seriously dude? I'm in the middle of telling you something important and you interrupt me to tell me there's a dog outside?

I think the fact that I'm not super talkative in general makes me more sensitive to being interrupted, but I will literally not finish the story if he does that. I get so damn angry.

He also leaves the cabinet doors open 99% of the time. I mostly just don't understand it. Is it really that much harder to CLOSE the door than OPEN the door?

cupcait927 · October 2014

@loro929 H is a non-looker as well. Drives me bananas. He's gotten sliiiiiightly better but not by much. I'm always being asked where something is, and then I have to drop what I'm doing to go and find it. He claims it's easier/quicker to ask me than to look for something because I seem to always know where everything is. He was losing his damn mind the other day because he couldn't find his car keys. I asked if he looked on the kitchen table. He said he did. I go out there, lift my purse up, and oh hey there's his keys. So he obviously didn't look that hard.

@PrincessOfHavoc H won't go in my purse either. He says he feels weird going through my stuff, which baffles me.

PrincessOfHavoc · October 2014

@cupcait927‌ DF learned it from his dad, and it drives my MIL up the wall also. So at least he comes by it honestly. But why my purse is sacred ground but he licks my face and plays with my hair, I do not know.

levioosa · October 2014

LakeR2014 said:

I think my DH is a closet hoarder. He cannot throw anything away. He seriously has at least 8 different deodorant's in our place that are for all intents and purpose's done but he won't throw them out because 'they're good to have in an emergency if he runs out.' What!? Maybe one, but 8!?!

He'll hoard them until they fill up a bathroom drawer or the nightstand and I can't stand them anymore and do a clean sweep, because both of those things can be used for something way better then an old deodorant holder.

Oh and his socks and underwear....everywhere but where they should be...It's like the laundry basket offends him. Grrrr....

I do love the man though.

Omg, the hoarding. I've been trying to get him to acknowledge that when we move, many things will be going in the trash.

"But why?"

"Because you're not thirteen or a bachelor anymore and why is there an In 'N Out tray in the room? Please, explain the importance of this fast food tray in a way that will convince me to keep it."

gladyscf · October 2014

I bite my FI, he retaliates by licking my face. Sometimes he is the initiator and licks me. I wipe the slobber back onto him.

When he washes dishes by hand, there is always at least ONE dish that is still dirty.

He is also afraid to close all of the cabinet doors. This must be a legitimate fear? I see so many that do this!

He takes his socks off while watching tv on the couch and leaves them under the coffee table. On wash days I tell him to go get the village of socks living under the table and bring them to the laundry room.

He's also a very deliberate thinker so if we're having a conversation, he takes his time to formulate his answers. Only sometimes he takes so long that I've moved on and have had 6 new conversations in my head by the time he's ready to converse about the first topic. Drives me batty!

All in all, he's a pretty wonderful guy and I don't have much to complain about.

PrincessOfHavoc · October 2014

Yeah, despite the face licking, hair messing and purse = holy ground, DF is a decent, caring, wonderful person who I adore.

Another odd thing - socks. Not losing them. But he will not match nice, newer socks with each other. No, he must take a new sock and pair it with one that's falling apart. Oh well, at least I can find the socks.

gladyscf · October 2014

Oh, I forgot about the purse thing. FI won't go in my purse either. He brings me the whole thing if I ask him to grab something from it.

Socks. I forgot about something. If FI was on a board that was having this conversation, he would probably tell everyone that I'm a "sock killer." He has so many socks with holes in them but refuses to throw them away. I'll rip his socks and make BIG holes in them so that he can't wear them. It's not like he doesn't have BRAND NEW SOCKS in his drawer just waiting to be worn!

PrincessOfHavoc · October 2014

Once socks actually are really falling apart, I do throw them out. But yeah, between work and derby, I have worn socks that are almost tossing worthy and new socks.

When I toss a bunch of old socks, DF looks at the clean pile and asks where the rest are. Our washer is really, really hungry. Oops.

erinlin25 · October 2014

H and the dishes...ugh. I blame MIL for this (all of her kids do it). He just leaves them at the table or wherever we eat...sometimes he will put it on the counter, but does not rinse it

Drives me crazy. If he sees me doing the dishes he will at least try to help, but I have asked him multiple times to at least rinse the dish and put it in the sink...rarely does it happen.

That and his selective listening-- example, I just went and asked what he wanted to do for lunch (we work together)-- he did not respond and granted he was in the middle of something so I waited for him finish, but nope he eventually started talking about something random in no way related to the question I asked him. So I ask again, and still no response to my question!

MegEn1 · October 2014

Sunday night I sad-cleaned the entire house while FI played computer games. Which is fine, I'm a clean-freak and he works insanely long shifts.

Then he got up and opened some cheese and left some of the wrapper on the counter. Not two minutes after I'd finished. I'm pretty sure he was complimenting me on how good the place looked as he was doing it.

steph861 · October 2014

levioosa said:

LakeR2014 said:

I think my DH is a closet hoarder. He cannot throw anything away. He seriously has at least 8 different deodorant's in our place that are for all intents and purpose's done but he won't throw them out because 'they're good to have in an emergency if he runs out.' What!? Maybe one, but 8!?!

He'll hoard them until they fill up a bathroom drawer or the nightstand and I can't stand them anymore and do a clean sweep, because both of those things can be used for something way better then an old deodorant holder.

Oh and his socks and underwear....everywhere but where they should be...It's like the laundry basket offends him. Grrrr....

I do love the man though.

Omg, the hoarding. I've been trying to get him to acknowledge that when we move, many things will be going in the trash.

"But why?"

"Because you're not thirteen or a bachelor anymore and why is there an In 'N Out tray in the room? Please, explain the importance of this fast food tray in a way that will convince me to keep it."

"Because I went to a lot of trouble to get it." - My FI

He has absconded with countless beer glasses, pitchers (!), and sign letters over the years (pretty much all acquired before he met me).

AddieCake · October 2014

novella1186 said:

raissyrais said:

Damn fool tries to crack my knuckles all the time and he knows how much I hate it. He gets a high doing it. And when I'm wearing spikey heels, he'l make sure to push me gently in those metal grid/tracks that can be found on sidewalks sometimes. And he enjoys to watch poor stuck me trying to get out of it.

OMG! FI always tries to crack my toes while I'm lying on the couch and it hurts. I try to kick him and wiggle around so he can't do it, but he will seriously wrestle me and hold me down to crack my stupid toes. I'm always like "WHY?!" I don't understand why anyone would want to mess with someone else's toes, let alone crack them, especially when they're spazzing out the whole time and yelling "OW, WEIRDO!"

So your fiance holds you down while you protest and does something to you that you find painful? Ummm, wow.

amelisha · October 2014

gladyscf said:

I bite my FI, he retaliates by licking my face. Sometimes he is the initiator and licks me. I wipe the slobber back onto him.

When he washes dishes by hand, there is always at least ONE dish that is still dirty.

He is also afraid to close all of the cabinet doors. This must be a legitimate fear? I see so many that do this!

He takes his socks off while watching tv on the couch and leaves them under the coffee table. On wash days I tell him to go get the village of socks living under the table and bring them to the laundry room.

He's also a very deliberate thinker so if we're having a conversation, he takes his time to formulate his answers. Only sometimes he takes so long that I've moved on and have had 6 new conversations in my head by the time he's ready to converse about the first topic. Drives me batty!

All in all, he's a pretty wonderful guy and I don't have much to complain about.

MINE DOES THIS ONE TOO. Whhhhhhhhhhyyyyyy? Why does he take his socks off while sitting on the couch?!

He's been threatened so many times about this that it has fortunately been a long time since I unearthed one outside the bedroom...but I did have to leave them on his pillow a few times to get the message across.

IrishPirate60 · October 2014

@cupcait927‌ Roseanne Barr had a great routine about the vagina as a finding tool. I solved the junk mail problem by putting a recycling-only trash can right by the front door. I stand at the door, sort the mail, toss what's clearly junk, and only the good stuff gets to the desk.

novella1186 · October 2014

AddieCake said:

novella1186 said:

raissyrais said:

Damn fool tries to crack my knuckles all the time and he knows how much I hate it. He gets a high doing it. And when I'm wearing spikey heels, he'l make sure to push me gently in those metal grid/tracks that can be found on sidewalks sometimes. And he enjoys to watch poor stuck me trying to get out of it.

OMG! FI always tries to crack my toes while I'm lying on the couch and it hurts. I try to kick him and wiggle around so he can't do it, but he will seriously wrestle me and hold me down to crack my stupid toes. I'm always like "WHY?!" I don't understand why anyone would want to mess with someone else's toes, let alone crack them, especially when they're spazzing out the whole time and yelling "OW, WEIRDO!"

So your fiance holds you down while you protest and does something to you that you find painful? Ummm, wow.

Lol yeah that probably does sound terrible. To be fair, I'm laughing hysterically the whole time cuz the whole wrestling around thing is funny to me, and he insists that cracking his toes always feels good, so it's going to feel good for me to if I just "let him do it." When I'm not in a good mood and I tell him to just leave my toes alone, he does!

He is a sweet, wonderful, loving guy! I did not mean to make him sound like an insane attacker! Woops :P

When you just wanna smack him...

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