• Images
  • Text
  • Find a Couple + Registry
GO
Wedding Woes

Military brother, serial proposer rushing to the alter too fast

I was recently talking with my brother on the phone about having his (new) fiance standing up in our wedding next year and then he blurts out that he and her are planning on getting a quick marriage when he comes home for Christmas this year. My fiance and I were furious as he had previously promised he wouldn't pull any shenanigans (he's done something like this before). He is in the army and not able to be deployed until after he finishes his AIT and then moving to a new base.  Even then it isn't certain (if he were for sure leaving this wouldn't have been an issue).  When I had asked him what his reasons were for getting married so quickly he only mentioned that he would get paid more if he were married and his fiance would get to be on his insurance....money basically.  They don't really know anything about the other and when I asked why she couldn't move to where he was (she has the $$ and ability to get a job anywhere) so they can learn to live with one another before making it permanent.  He had done something similar last year while on deployment where he planned to marry another girl so she could hop on his insurance....good thing she didn't last.  Are we wrong to be upset?

Re: Military brother, serial proposer rushing to the alter too fast

  • it's not your money or your life - there's no impact on you, so why waste your time being "upset" over this? sounds like your brother is making a lot of stupid decisions, but ultimately they are his stupid decisions to make, and have no real impact on you/your FI.

    if you think this may not last, why in the world would you ask some woman that you never met (FSIL or not) be part of your wedding party? 

  • I'm not sure.

    I get why you would be upset with your brother for making another bad life decision.

    If you're upset b/c he's thunderjacking your big day, the answer is no.  And most of what you wrote leads me to feel like that's what this is about.
    MesmrEweAddieCake
  • *Barbie* said:

    if you think this may not last, why in the world would you ask some woman that you never met (FSIL or not) be part of your wedding party? 

    This!!! I'd choose a different role for her than BM given what the OP has mentioned so far...  Reader - Usher - Greeter - etc. 
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • Personally, I don't think it's any of your beeswax.  You're entitled to an opinion, obviously, but you say you and your FI are "furious," which seems way over the top.

    VarunaTT*Barbie*MNNEBride
  • I think that if they were to put in the time that it takes to actually have a relationship it could last.  She's a very nice girl.  And yes, if he were going to pull this off, it would be right while we are balls deep in our own planning.  My parents are helping us to pay for our wedding and then to have him out of the blue basically steal our thunder.  I know that he's going to do whatever he's going to do, but, how would you feel if your sibling, with full knowledge of knowing when your getting married, threw everyone for a loop and tell you they are going to get married as soon as possible?  Do I just chalk it up to "he's just a guy?"
  • So, you can have feels about something, but it doesn't mean they're right.  You don't have the right to be upset, even if you are.  So, have your feelings all you like, but don't say anything to him about thunderjacking.  B/c you get ONE day to have your wedding.  I'll even give you 2 for the combo of all the stuffs.  Grin and wish him well.  It's not your decision to make.
  • I remember being peeved at my SIL who decided to "force" her OB to induce her the Monday before our baby shower (she was DONE with being PG) so we were all getting to meet my sweet little niece at my shower.  Thunderjacking yes - but the best thing is just vent here and stow it when it comes to saying anything out loud to friends/family because there are FAR FAR bigger things in life.  He'll have his day, you'll have yours.  By the time yours gets here, it'll be over/done.   
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards