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April 2013 Weddings
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Gifts from people not attending wedding?

vnmazzolavnmazzola member
10 Comments First Anniversary
in April 2013 Weddings

Good morning! I was just wondering what the etiquette is for gifts from people who aren't attending the wedding. Do most people send gifts with the response card decline, or do they send a card/gift at a later date closer to the wedding? I have a feeling that some of our non-attendees will not be sending gifts so I want to be prepared!

Valerie512
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Re: Gifts from people not attending wedding?

  • phoenix870509phoenix870509 member
    100 Comments First Anniversary

    From what I've been told if one is invited to a wedding and cannot attend one should send a gift. A friend invited me to her wedding and I declined, as it is 12 days before mine and she did not invite my FI (which I thought was incredibly rude of her), but I will probably send her something off her registry to be polite.

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  • lamoellerlamoeller
    Fifth Anniversary 10 Comments Combo Breaker

    For my shower, I got a few gifts beforehand in the mail and a few people had sent their gifts to the shower with other people who were attending.  I would assume it would be the same for the wedding, but like you, I'm sure there will be people who don't send anything.  Oh, well, we're not getting married for the gifts, right?  :)

     

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  • adawn1981adawn1981
    500 Comments First Anniversary
    We got one gift from a no RSVP, but nothing else.  I am not sure if they will send a card or a gift later or not.  I did think that more people (family especially) that are unable to attend would have sent a card at least.. maybe later.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
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  • vk2204vk2204 member
    1000 Comments Third Anniversary 100 Love Its Name Dropper
    It depends on the person and what they can afford to do. They are not obligated to send anything.

    Either way, if you receive a gift you send a thank you note.
    image 
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  • Christine9866Christine9866 member
    Sixth Anniversary 500 Comments
    Yes-I agreed with VK... we have received a few no's and have not received any gifts, but FI and I aren't really expecting one from the people that have declined.
    148 invitedimage | 105 Yes!image | 8 Noimage |33 still ? image
    RSVP Deadline: March 8
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  • vnmazzolavnmazzola member
    10 Comments First Anniversary
    Thanks everyone, this is helpful. Of course we aren't expecting gifts, but they are always nice, especially with all of these wedding expenses! :-) I assume we probably won't get gifts from some of our friends, but think that family would send one. Guess you never know though! Even if people come to the wedding, there's no guarantee they will give you a gift!
    Valerie512
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  • mabapuntamabapunta
    100 Comments
    We did receive a gift from FI's work friend's family - they cannot make it, and will actually be on vaca (I'm assuming preplanned?) that weekend. We sent them a Thank You card just like we sent one for anyone else who gave us a gift.

    I guess etiquette does say send a gift, but I def don't expect it. And I know when I was invited to weddings of classmates from college...I didn't send them anything. We haven't really talked since college, except Facebook posts. I don't think that counts haha. Maybe I'm just stingy tho.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
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  • ChiGirl2013ChiGirl2013 member
    500 Comments 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Anniversary
    I would think that gifts are the least of your worries when you're this close to the big day.  Do you need cash gifts in order to be able to pay for your wedding?  If not, I wouldn't give it a second thought.  Put your focus on things that actually matter, not things that you expect people to give you.

    But since you asked - we've had mostly no responses since we're having a destination wedding and only 1 person has sent us a card with a check in it.  It came about a week after their RSVP.  We deposited it in the bank and sent the thank you note the next day. 
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    20 can't make it image | 21 don't know what to do with a RSVP card image
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  • hutchslhutchsl member
    Sixth Anniversary 100 Comments 25 Love Its
    Ettiquette says you have up to one year after the wedding to send a gift.
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