Bridesmaid robes or shirts?

peachy13 · October 2014

Hi everyone,

I wanted some opinions on getting my bridesmaids either robes or shirts. This is something I really want to buy for them for them to wear while we're getting ready for the wedding. It would be part of their BM gift but I'm also getting them something else that isn't something they have to wear to the wedding. I was curious to know what you would prefer if you were a BM (or if you gave one of these to your BMs, did they like them?) And if anyone has any tips on where to order, that would be amazing.

Here is a picture of what I'm interested in:

or

Thanks!

ShesSoCold · October 2014

Honestly? Neither. I think those pictures are cheesy and overdone.

Do you really see yourself blowing up a picture of you and your friends in robes and hanging in on your living room wall?

LondonLisa · October 2014

If you are making them wear them for getting ready photos, that is not part of their gift at all. I would save your money and get them a nicer gift- one that they would actually use. It might be a nice, although completely overdone, "pinterest" photo, but you aren't going to have this framed in your house.

This is up there with tote bags or anything that says "bridesmaid". So many women have a closet filled with them and are never used. They are already all over second hand Charity shops.

southernbelle0915 · October 2014

Neither. They're both cheesy and bound for Salvation Army.

People often buy these for photo ops. I would be SUPER uncomfortable being photographed in a robe. But I wouldn't want to be a Debbie Downer, so I'd probably do it, hate every second of it, and beg that it was not posted to social media - which would, of course, go unheaded and it would end up on facebook. Just... no. Don't put people in this position.

Take the money you save and pay for their mani/pedi/updo.

redoryx · October 2014

I'm in the camp of Neither. In all getting ready pics from weddings I've been in, we've all been wearing whatever we wanted to wear and they look far more natural and engaging than cutesy-samesy matching robes or shirts.

Also, if this is something you're going to require them to wear as part of the whole wedding process it can't be counted towards their gift. Save the money you would have spent on them and put it toward something else that really is a gift or, like someone else suggested, use it to pay for a mani/pedi or their hair.

Bubblegum5586 · October 2014

Unpopular Opinion here...

I think this a know your crowd thing, and on TK it's a big no. But I personally would like a robe (as long as it was plain and didn't say Bridesmaid or something). I would wear a robe again, I would never where an oversize button down shirt again.

It's also a know your crowd kind of thing on comfort and modesty. Many people wouldn't feel comfortable wearing just a robe around other people or being photographed in one. Again personally that wouldn't phase me in the least. Robes cover more then many cocktail dresses!

As PPs have stated this shouldn't be a part of their gift unless you know for a fact that each girl just LOVES robes... which is unlikely...

weddingcactus · October 2014

I'm in the camp of neither as well. I obviously wear shirts all the time, but if it said "bridesmaid" or "peachy13 wedding" or something like that, I'd never wear it again. Ok, maybe I'd wear it to tile the kitchen or change the oil, but that's probably not what you're going for. I also would feel ridiculous wearing it out and about if we were going to salons for hair, nails, etc. As for a robe, I probably wouldn't wear it. I never wear robes at home and I never even wear them when they're free at hotels. I'm more comfortable getting ready in whatever clothes I own (probably an easy to slip off tank top and some pants) and then just jumping right into my bridesmaid dress. Both seem like a staged photo-op more than something I would actually want or use.

holyguacamole79 · October 2014

Neither.

Maggie0829 · October 2014

Such a waste of money. You and your BMs can still look cute and happy and excited in getting ready pictures wearing clothes that you already own and are comfortable in.

peachy13 · October 2014

Allrighty, neither it is. Thanks everyone!

ShesSoCold · October 2014

peachy13 said:

Allrighty, neither it is. Thanks everyone!

Thank you for this.

I get that it's cute and I, too, was kind of picture obsessed before my wedding. Being on here and hearing pretty much EVERY SINGLE person here say that they have maybe three or four wedding pictures blown up and framed, it really put it into perspective for me that having 1,000 perfectly set up pictures really isn't worth it. Plus buying robes for everyone? How much would that cost for one cute picture?

novella1186 · October 2014

I had considered getting robes for all my BMs too, only because I saw some really pretty ones online and I LOVE wearing a robe to get ready. (I literally own about 7 different robes and I wear them all). When I asked the ladies on these boards though, I got the same response you got, and I realized that most people don't actually wear robes. Just because I like them definitely doesn't mean my BMs would like them, or that they would even want to wear one. It really would be a waste of money.

Get them each a gift that's especially for them. Shop as if it's their birthday. If you have a girl who loves to cook, get her some nice olive oil and a set of bamboo spatulas. If you have a girl who's obsessed with make-up, get her some fun stuff from Sephora to play with. Stuff like that!

DanikaMarie0227 · October 2014

novella1186 said:

I had considered getting robes for all my BMs too, only because I saw some really pretty ones online and I LOVE wearing a robe to get ready. (I literally own about 7 different robes and I wear them all). When I asked the ladies on these boards though, I got the same response you got, and I realized that most people don't actually wear robes. Just because I like them definitely doesn't mean my BMs would like them, or that they would even want to wear one. It really would be a waste of money.

Get them each a gift that's especially for them. Shop as if it's their birthday. If you have a girl who loves to cook, get her some nice olive oil and a set of bamboo spatulas. If you have a girl who's obsessed with make-up, get her some fun stuff from Sephora to play with. Stuff like that!

This. I also personally love the robes and would love one. However, I don't think any of my BMs would really love them. So it's a personal preference and like PP said, most people apparently don't love them. If you like them, just get one for you

and shop for your girls like it's their birthday.

sarahjane222 · October 2014

I actually received a robe in the last wedding I stood in. It's Victoria's Secret, grey, really soft and comfortable and has my initial embroidered on it. I love it and wear it all the time at home when I'm getting ready to go out. I thought the photo-op the bride did with us all wearing them was cheesy but I still like the robe!

lilacck28 · October 2014

bubblegum1309 said:

Unpopular Opinion here...

I think this a know your crowd thing, and on TK it's a big no. But I personally would like a robe (as long as it was plain and didn't say Bridesmaid or something). I would wear a robe again, I would never where an oversize button down shirt again.

It's also a know your crowd kind of thing on comfort and modesty. Many people wouldn't feel comfortable wearing just a robe around other people or being photographed in one. Again personally that wouldn't phase me in the least. Robes cover more then many cocktail dresses!

As PPs have stated this shouldn't be a part of their gift unless you know for a fact that each girl just LOVES robes... which is unlikely...

This!

I like really like those pretty floral robes you see on pinterest a lot, and nice plain robes as well. The company I work for even sells nice silk robes...one of these days I'm going to buy a few. But I would NOT want anything with "bridesmaid" written on it, or my name. I'd be okay with a small initial I guess, but I'd prefer a non personalized robe.

levioosa · October 2014

I'm in the minority that also would like a robe. Buuut....absolutely NO to branding them with "Bridesmaid" lettering or anything like that. I think it's also a good idea to buy them something separate and completely unrelated to the wedding.

I think it's a "know your crowd" type of deal as well. If these ladies are your nearest and dearest, you're probably going to know if they would be into something like that. I know off the top of my head who I would and wouldn't buy robes for in my closest friends group. That being said, you can't really give half your girls robes. It's an all or none situation.

nicole4793 · October 2014

I personally would love to receive a robe. The ones pictured look nice. If it were me, I would get just their initial on the front (maybe skip putting bridesmaid on it). When I'm getting ready in the morning, putting my outfit on for the day is the last thing I do, so it would be awesome to have such an adorable robe. Just my opinion though!

cowgirl8238 · October 2014

I would have no use for a robe, so I am in the camp of don't do this and just use the money towards a nicer BM gift that each girl would love.

[Deleted User] · November 2014

Honestly for my wedding neither would have worked. We all meet up at the church and got dressed together in one of the community rooms so the robes would have been pointless. We arrived with our hair & makeup done. Even if we would have gotten dressed at someone's house or a hotel room, I personally am more comfortable in a pair of PJ pants so I can sit & relax and not have to worry about sitting "properly" in a short robe. For the shirts, I know that none of my BM would wear a monogrammed shirt afterwards. I think it's a matter of knowing your girls. Are they girls who normally would wear those type of things or are your girls more the type that would rather have a pair of comfy pants and a zip up hoody with no monogram. I think that is why you are getting mixed responses from skip it to love it, it all depends on what the person is into.

atlastmrsg · November 2014

Thank you for not getting them robes. I have SIX robes now. SIX. I just gave two of them to Goodwill because I didn't feel like folding them when I took them out of the dryer. Two are on a hook in my bathroom. Two are stuffed in an overflowing drawer.

Sometimes I really wish Pinterist had never been invented. Friends would still be giving out bottles of wine instead of matchy matchy or artsy craftsy gifts.

Kauris · November 2014

Neither

Knottie89548736 · November 2014

I have 5 BMs and all of them wear robes. For me and my bridal party, it is totally worth the investment. It is a fantastic way to keep the girls covered while getting ready for the few pictures I want to have taken of us getting ready. To keep everyone comfortable and not have to worry about the robe opening at the bottom I am also getting silk pajama bottoms to wear under the robe. There will be matching tank tops/shirts included for them to wear after the wedding. For me it is a way to provide a way for everyone to get ready without having to pull shirts on/off after hair and makeup are done. My girls all LOVE the idea and like that it will avoid any unnecessary and unwanted lines when they put their strapless dresses on. My suggestion is to ask your BMs if they wear robes and would be comfortable wearing them the day of.

Jen4948 · November 2014

Knottie89548736 said:

I have 5 BMs and all of them wear robes. For me and my bridal party, it is totally worth the investment. It is a fantastic way to keep the girls covered while getting ready for the few pictures I want to have taken of us getting ready. To keep everyone comfortable and not have to worry about the robe opening at the bottom I am also getting silk pajama bottoms to wear under the robe. There will be matching tank tops/shirts included for them to wear after the wedding. For me it is a way to provide a way for everyone to get ready without having to pull shirts on/off after hair and makeup are done. My girls all LOVE the idea and like that it will avoid any unnecessary and unwanted lines when they put their strapless dresses on. My suggestion is to ask your BMs if they wear robes and would be comfortable wearing them the day of.

Your "girls" may just be trying to spare you hurt feelings. You may LOVE the idea, but maybe they don't. Or, they can't stand being photographed while "getting ready." If one of them, away from everyone else, actually can't stand the idea, would you still try to force her into it?

ChemFanatic25 · November 2014

Okay, I'll go against the grain. I would like the robe AS LONG as it doesn't have "bridesmaid" or something about your wedding on it. Initials would work for me. I DO NOT like the buttoned up shirts because of the initials. I try to be practical with clothing and if I can't wear it for work, I really don't want it. I can't wear that shirt because the initials just seem a bit unprofessional. But obviously that is just me, so I guess my input with that doesn't really count.

I think it's a whole know your crowd thing though. If the girls would absolutely love those (minus anything that has to do with the wedding), then I think it's a perfect gift. Also, you should give them the option to wear it but it shouldn't be mandatory for wearing when getting ready for the wedding, then I feel that the gift really doesn't count.

jacobsmawedding15 · December 2014

I think buying a robe is 10X better than buying them jewelry they will guaranteed never wear again after my wedding. For my bridesmaid gifts I got them all robes with their names stitched on them, a champagne toasting glass that I am hand-etching with their initials, and a mini handheld fan (my wedding is in July in the Central Valley-it is likely to be 105-110 degrees out). Although all these things technically are wedding-related and will be used at the wedding, after the day is over they don't scream "THIS WAS MY BRIDESMAID GIFT." While I think that shopping for the girls like its their birthday is a nice gesture, they are all expecting to get something matching anyway, so might as well do it and make it cuter than a t-shirt that says "Nicole's Bridesmaid" or a gaudy piece of costume jewelry.

Jen4948 · December 2014

jacobsmawedding15 said:
I think buying a robe is 10X better than buying them jewelry they will guaranteed never wear again after my wedding. For my bridesmaid gifts I got them all robes with their names stitched on them, a champagne toasting glass that I am hand-etching with their initials, and a mini handheld fan (my wedding is in July in the Central Valley-it is likely to be 105-110 degrees out). Although all these things technically are wedding-related and will be used at the wedding, after the day is over they don't scream "THIS WAS MY BRIDESMAID GIFT." While I think that shopping for the girls like its their birthday is a nice gesture, they are all expecting to get something matching anyway, so might as well do it and make it cuter than a t-shirt that says "Nicole's Bridesmaid" or a gaudy piece of costume jewelry.

Your bridesmaids may never again wear the robes after your wedding either, especially if they feel that robes are too intimate articles to have received as gifts in the first place.

Given a choice between jewelry and a robe, I prefer jewelry every time-because there is a chance I'll wear it again.

Maggie0829 · December 2014

jacobsmawedding15 said:

I think buying a robe is 10X better than buying them jewelry they will guaranteed never wear again after my wedding. For my bridesmaid gifts I got them all robes with their names stitched on them, a champagne toasting glass that I am hand-etching with their initials, and a mini handheld fan (my wedding is in July in the Central Valley-it is likely to be 105-110 degrees out). Although all these things technically are wedding-related and will be used at the wedding, after the day is over they don't scream "THIS WAS MY BRIDESMAID GIFT." While I think that shopping for the girls like its their birthday is a nice gesture, they are all expecting to get something matching anyway, so might as well do it and make it cuter than a t-shirt that says "Nicole's Bridesmaid" or a gaudy piece of costume jewelry.

Just because they may be expecting matching gifts does not mean that they are actually looking forward to those cutesy matching BM gifts that everyone hates. So why not surprise them by actually shopping for them like it is their birthday rather then be lazy and say "oh, well they expect matching gifts anyways"?

There are a lot of things in this world I expect. I expect my work to be boring as hell day in and day out. I expect from November to March that the weather is going to be shitty and cold where I live. I expect to get fat if I eat nothing by McD's and lay on my couch. But let me tell you, I would be one happier camper if everything I expected didn't actually come to fruition. If my work was exciting or if Nov-Mar was beautiful and warm or if I could eat McD's and lay on my couch and magically become in shape I would be beyond excited and happy.

dcbride86 · December 2014

I think it's a "know your crowd" thing, but also I don't think they should be considered your gift to the BMs, because you're giving them more for you and the photo op than you are for their enjoyment. That's fine - you can give them something because you think it'll be cute in pictures - but that's a gift for you, not them, and should be used to replace your actual gifts for them.

I am actually giving my BMs robes (most of them have actually randomly mentioned that they wished they had a robe within the past year), but none of them say "bridesmaid" on them. They have their names, but that's it. And I don't consider this to be their gift - I'm also giving each of them jewelry and something just for them - gift cards, wine glasses, whatever they might personally want that has nothing to do with my wedding.

thelastdreamer · December 2014

I don't think matching gifts HAVE to be bad, but just not stuff that is wedding related and you should know your friends well enough to know what they'll use. I did get my bridesmaids all gold necklaces because gold was my wedding color and I wanted that with their dresses - I totally admit that was a gift "for me." However, I also got them each a really nice infinity scarf in a color I knew they would wear. Since the wedding I have seen pictures on FB of three out of five of them wearing their scarf, of the two who I haven't, one texted me and told me she wears it all the time and the other I've seen multiple pictures of her wearing the gold necklace I got her. So at least I know I got them something they use.

hpubride · December 2014

I gave my three bridesmaids silk robes from Target, as well as some other things and two wore them the day of the wedding and really liked them. The other one claimed to have forgotten hers but she was happily wearing it at the bachelorette party. No harm no foul, just because the majority of people on here think it's cheesy and don't like robes as a gift, doesn't mean anyone who likes it is being fake to save hurt feelings. I would be happy to receive one because every wedding I've been in I just get jewelry to wear for the wedding and half of the time they pay for my hair/nails.

southernbelle0915 · December 2014

HPUgirl27 said:

I gave my three bridesmaids silk robes from Target, as well as some other things and two wore them the day of the wedding and really liked them. The other one claimed to have forgotten hers but she was happily wearing it at the bachelorette party. No harm no foul, just because the majority of people on here think it's cheesy and don't like robes as a gift, doesn't mean anyone who likes it is being fake to save hurt feelings. I would be happy to receive one because every wedding I've been in I just get jewelry to wear for the wedding and half of the time they pay for my hair/nails.

Do your friends know that you've posted a picture of them in bathrobes on an international forum? I would be absolutely horrified if that were me. If you want to post pictures of yourself half dressed, go ahead. You can delete this by hovering over the photo, and selecting "delete".

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