Camera to Show Harassment

ShesSoCold · October 2014

My sister and I go to a lot of football and hockey games together. Once, at a hockey game we were standing in a super crowded area and some douche grabbed my sister - bad. She punched him. I didn't know any of this had happened and then like five minutes later he pushed me down. I then punched him in the face. Argument ensues and this guy is kicked out. Long story short - it was freaking crazy. In hindsight, probably shouldn't have hit him, but instincts kicked in as I was pushed to the ground.

We had an extra Bears ticket the other week and a friend's husband wouldn't let her go with us because "we get ourselves into shit". Really, guy? We get ourselves into this? I asked her if he thinks we're supposed to just let people harass us and she goes, "I guess. Just walk away".

Sad.

jdluvr06 · October 2014

I think it is just because of where I live but I haven't heard the cat calls too much. I honestly can't imagine what that is like. I did have a guy grab my ass in a bar once. I almost broke his hand.

beethery · October 2014

I am reminded now of a couple of weeks ago.

I ran up to the loading dock at our warehouse to receive a freight delivery, and some empty scrote and his co-worker were standing around on break. As I came up the stairs, Scrotey said, "Oh my god, I love you. Come talk to me."

I looked at him like this:

And kept walking over to the truck driver. As I walked away, Scrotey said, "See? She's just like my fucking girlfriend. I was nice to her and the stupid bitch ignored me."

I signed the freight slip, smiled and thanked the truck driver, and then went over to talk to Scrotey.

"What the fuck makes you think I should talk to YOU????? You didn't even deserve the side-eye I gave you a minute ago, and now you act like I owe you a conversation? Listen here, you brainless SACK, nobody owes you a god damn thing, and I hope your "girlfriend," who is probably just some chick you stalk on Tinder, is getting bigger and better dick than you see in the scrambled porn you watch IN YOUR MOTHER'S BASEMENT. GO BACK TO WORK AND BE THANKFUL I DON'T TALK TO BILL, YOUR BOSS."

I saw him on Monday when I had to go over there and he wouldn't look me in the eye this time. GOOD.

novella1186 · October 2014

I punched a guy in the face in a bar once. He would not keep his hands off my friend and she was telling him over and over to get away from her and that he was making her uncomfortable. I yelled "Dude she said get off her. Get your fucking hands off." He wouldn't so I shoved him backwards. He came right back and put his hands back on her. That's when he got punched in the face. It's only fair; in my book you get two warnings and then a punch.

The bouncers that were nearby applauded me. Maybe they should've been doing their jobs instead. I'm 5'1" and weighed about 90 lbs at the time, and was kicking ass. Not gonna lie, it felt kind of awesome.

beethery · October 2014

novella1186 said:

I punched a guy in the face in a bar once. He would not keep his hands off my friend and she was telling him over and over to get away from her and that he was making her uncomfortable. I yelled "Dude she said get off her. Get your fucking hands off." He wouldn't so I shoved him backwards. He came right back and put his hands back on her. That's when he got punched in the face. It's only fair; in my book you get two warnings and then a punch.

The bouncers that were nearby applauded me. Maybe they should've been doing their jobs instead. I'm 5'1" and weighed about 90 lbs at the time, and was kicking ass. Not gonna lie, it felt kind of awesome.

I will never fucking understand this shit. HI, YOU ARE HERE TO MAKE SURE THIS SHIT DOESN'T FLY. AND HERE YOU ARE, NOT DOING SHIT ABOUT IT. WHY ARE YOU PAID TO BE HERE????????

southernbelle0915 · October 2014

Before I met H, my friends dragged me out to this bar that has a reputation for being somewhat of a meat market. So I was already not super excited to be there.

We walked by a couple guys and one of them grabbed my ass. I stopped, spun around and the guy fucking winked at me, did the air kiss thing, kind of laughed and elbow nudged his buddy. So I smiled, walked up to him, winked back, popped him in the balls and, while he was doubled over, whispered "fucking asshole". His friend was rolling laughing. I think the guy called me a bitch, whore, and said he was going to kill me, but I was already walking away at that point, so..

princessofgenovia · October 2014

I was in sports bar type place with my mom and dad one day and some guy was at the bar making comments about the "hot girl in the black shorts" which would be me. And her equally "bangable friend" (my mom), they were debating if one of them could talk to the two of us into group sex.

My dad is walking past the bar, hears this and realizes they're talk about his wife and daughter. So he tells them "Hey, knock the fuck off, that's not cool to talk about women that way" and the guys go "Oh sorry dude, are they with you?" now my dad could've said yeah that's my wife and kid. What my dad actually said was "Doesn't fucking matter, you don't talk about other humans like that, they're out trying to enjoy a meal, not out so you can sexually objectify them. No, shut up you're done talking, if either of you were my sons I'd be embarrassed by your behavior right now".

Once when my parents were teenagers (and my mom was pregnant with me) some guy friend of his told him "Hey man, check out the ass on that girl! Nice right?!" and dad agreed that ass was in fact nice. My mother then gave him a three hour lecture (according to him, she says a hour max) about not objectifying women and what if the baby was a girl? Did he want some dumbass commenting on her ass? And what if it was a boy? Did he really want to raise a man that objectified women like that?

My father has spent the 24 years actively working to never have that lecture given to him again. I've had ex's try to "buddy up" with him by objectifying strange women, oh lord, the lectures they got on how if that's how they felt of women they were clearly undeserving of his daughter's time and attention.

steph861 · October 2014

Sugargirl1019 said:

I've heard these comments maybe once or twice. Once walking along the street with a friend from a bar, and another in NYC in broad daylight. No random man has ever put his hands on me. (Except a 5 year old boy who ran up to me squeezed my boob and ran away. That's a different story.) I've never heard any other comments like that. So, it surprises me that you ladies hear this and deal with this ALL THE TIME. Like I'm confused how men could grow up that way. The few times that it did happen, I counted it off to being a mentally unstable drug addict or alcoholic. Depresses my heart to find out that there are so many lowlife sleazy men in our world. I truly never see it in my life. I receive complements often in public, but they never make me feel uncomfortable. Even when older men (grandpas) tell me at work, "you are the prettiest nurse I've ever had", it doesn't make me uncomfortable. It doesn't seem like a derogatory catcall to me. But by now you all have figured out I live in a bubble.

Same. I could probably count on one hand the number of times I've been cat called in my life. I've lived in Vancouver most of my life, and now I live in a smaller city. I've never really heard my friends say anything about it happening to them either.

That said, I don't think it's a problem that should be minimized.

steph861 · October 2014

ShesSoCold said:

My sister and I go to a lot of football and hockey games together. Once, at a hockey game we were standing in a super crowded area and some douche grabbed my sister - bad. She punched him. I didn't know any of this had happened and then like five minutes later he pushed me down. I then punched him in the face. Argument ensues and this guy is kicked out. Long story short - it was freaking crazy. In hindsight, probably shouldn't have hit him, but instincts kicked in as I was pushed to the ground.

We had an extra Bears ticket the other week and a friend's husband wouldn't let her go with us because "we get ourselves into shit". Really, guy? We get ourselves into this? I asked her if he thinks we're supposed to just let people harass us and she goes, "I guess. Just walk away".

Sad.

And where exactly are you supposed to walk away to in a place with assigned seating?!

AlexaF2014 · October 2014

I've never been cat-called and I feel damn lucky. Watching that video last night broke my heart, and the creeper that follow her for like 5 minutes? I had an empathy adrenaline rush, whole body just screaming "RUN!"

I'd like to ask those harassers for their phones, look up "mom" in the address book, and call them to let them know what their son just said/did. Maybe mom doesn't care (who raises their kids to be like that?), but with the frat-boy types, I imagine they would not want their mom to hear how they treat women.

NYCMercedes · October 2014

God, I hated it. The leering starts when you're ten and then cat calls are added in and it all goes on for another 35 or 40 years. One of the advantages of maturity is that it stopped finally.

ShesSoCold · October 2014

steph861 said:

ShesSoCold said:

My sister and I go to a lot of football and hockey games together. Once, at a hockey game we were standing in a super crowded area and some douche grabbed my sister - bad. She punched him. I didn't know any of this had happened and then like five minutes later he pushed me down. I then punched him in the face. Argument ensues and this guy is kicked out. Long story short - it was freaking crazy. In hindsight, probably shouldn't have hit him, but instincts kicked in as I was pushed to the ground.

We had an extra Bears ticket the other week and a friend's husband wouldn't let her go with us because "we get ourselves into shit". Really, guy? We get ourselves into this? I asked her if he thinks we're supposed to just let people harass us and she goes, "I guess. Just walk away".

Sad.

And where exactly are you supposed to walk away to in a place with assigned seating?!

STUCK

They were actually standing room only tickets - which basically means you are limited to where you can stand.

It was game two of the Stanley Cup Final. They can blow me if they think I'm just going to walk away. I wouldn't have walked away if it was a preseason game. But shit - the final? I damn near wore a diaper so I wouldn't have to lose my place by going to the bathroom!

alpacalunch · October 2014

princessofgenovia said:

I was in sports bar type place with my mom and dad one day and some guy was at the bar making comments about the "hot girl in the black shorts" which would be me. And her equally "bangable friend" (my mom), they were debating if one of them could talk to the two of us into group sex.

My dad is walking past the bar, hears this and realizes they're talk about his wife and daughter. So he tells them "Hey, knock the fuck off, that's not cool to talk about women that way" and the guys go "Oh sorry dude, are they with you?" now my dad could've said yeah that's my wife and kid. What my dad actually said was "Doesn't fucking matter, you don't talk about other humans like that, they're out trying to enjoy a meal, not out so you can sexually objectify them. No, shut up you're done talking, if either of you were my sons I'd be embarrassed by your behavior right now".

Once when my parents were teenagers (and my mom was pregnant with me) some guy friend of his told him "Hey man, check out the ass on that girl! Nice right?!" and dad agreed that ass was in fact nice. My mother then gave him a three hour lecture (according to him, she says a hour max) about not objectifying women and what if the baby was a girl? Did he want some dumbass commenting on her ass? And what if it was a boy? Did he really want to raise a man that objectified women like that?

My father has spent the 24 years actively working to never have that lecture given to him again. I've had ex's try to "buddy up" with him by objectifying strange women, oh lord, the lectures they got on how if that's how they felt of women they were clearly undeserving of his daughter's time and attention.

I would appreciate it if you could please high-five your father for me, on behalf of your internet friend.

I find this all so upsetting. Growing up chubby and flat chested, I didn't get cat-called much. But I've had enough men masturbate before me on public transit, that I think makes up for that.

I think there's definitely an issue of men being brought up to think that they have rights to anything and everything in this world, including other people. Which makes my heart sing when I see my friends with sons making sure they know that 'no means no'.

When my friend's son was a toddler, he was a big hugger. Affectionate to total strangers. Once we were at a park, and he went and hugged a little girl, who obviously wasn't into it. His mom pulled him aside immediately to remind him that you don't do things to people that they don't like. The other moms were snarking how my friend was ruining a cute moment, and that it was no big deal. Yes, it's a big fucking deal. Don't teach your daughter that she should accept something that makes her uncomfortable, and do teach your son to respect others.

princessofgenovia · October 2014

chrisandcait said:

princessofgenovia said:

I was in sports bar type place with my mom and dad one day and some guy was at the bar making comments about the "hot girl in the black shorts" which would be me. And her equally "bangable friend" (my mom), they were debating if one of them could talk to the two of us into group sex.

My dad is walking past the bar, hears this and realizes they're talk about his wife and daughter. So he tells them "Hey, knock the fuck off, that's not cool to talk about women that way" and the guys go "Oh sorry dude, are they with you?" now my dad could've said yeah that's my wife and kid. What my dad actually said was "Doesn't fucking matter, you don't talk about other humans like that, they're out trying to enjoy a meal, not out so you can sexually objectify them. No, shut up you're done talking, if either of you were my sons I'd be embarrassed by your behavior right now".

Once when my parents were teenagers (and my mom was pregnant with me) some guy friend of his told him "Hey man, check out the ass on that girl! Nice right?!" and dad agreed that ass was in fact nice. My mother then gave him a three hour lecture (according to him, she says a hour max) about not objectifying women and what if the baby was a girl? Did he want some dumbass commenting on her ass? And what if it was a boy? Did he really want to raise a man that objectified women like that?

My father has spent the 24 years actively working to never have that lecture given to him again. I've had ex's try to "buddy up" with him by objectifying strange women, oh lord, the lectures they got on how if that's how they felt of women they were clearly undeserving of his daughter's time and attention.

I would appreciate it if you could please high-five your father for me, on behalf of your internet friend.

I find this all so upsetting. Growing up chubby and flat chested, I didn't get cat-called much. But I've had enough men masturbate before me on public transit, that I think makes up for that.

I think there's definitely an issue of men being brought up to think that they have rights to anything and everything in this world, including other people. Which makes my heart sing when I see my friends with sons making sure they know that 'no means no'.

When my friend's son was a toddler, he was a big hugger. Affectionate to total strangers. Once we were at a park, and he went and hugged a little girl, who obviously wasn't into it. His mom pulled him aside immediately to remind him that you don't do things to people that they don't like. The other moms were snarking how my friend was ruining a cute moment, and that it was no big deal. Yes, it's a big fucking deal. Don't teach your daughter that she should accept something that makes her uncomfortable, and do teach your son to respect others.

OMG YES!!!!

I have a relative with a little girl and a few years ago we were at some...gathering and they were leaving. So mom tells little girl, go say bye to everyone. Little girl hollers out "Bye to everyone!" aw cute. Mom says no go give them each a hug and kiss goodbye. Little girl does not want too. Mom forces little girl to hug and kiss everyone while she's kicking and screaming. When she gets to me I say "It's ok, you don't have to give me a hug or kiss, I'll see you later" because forcing a child to give me a hug and kiss gives a gross feeling inside! And I don't want her to grow up thinking she doesn't have a right to say no to people touching her. I don't care that she was only 4 at the time. That shit stays with you.

And yes, I will high five my dad on your behalf.

raissyrais · October 2014

chrisandcait said:
I would appreciate it if you could please high-five your father for me, on behalf of your internet friend.

I find this all so upsetting. Growing up chubby and flat chested, I didn't get cat-called much. But I've had enough men masturbate before me on public transit, that I think makes up for that.

I think there's definitely an issue of men being brought up to think that they have rights to anything and everything in this world, including other people. Which makes my heart sing when I see my friends with sons making sure they know that 'no means no'.

When my friend's son was a toddler, he was a big hugger. Affectionate to total strangers. Once we were at a park, and he went and hugged a little girl, who obviously wasn't into it. His mom pulled him aside immediately to remind him that you don't do things to people that they don't like. The other moms were snarking how my friend was ruining a cute moment, and that it was no big deal. Yes, it's a big fucking deal. Don't teach your daughter that she should accept something that makes her uncomfortable, and do teach your son to respect others.

That's what I think is the underlying problem with those men. They really think they have every right to. Wonder where that started!

ashley8918 · October 2014

I don't get catcalled super often here in the midwest, but it still happens on a too-regular basis.

I remeber in high school, when I was an obviously pregnant teenager, the guys who were working on my neighbor's roof for a week or so used to whistle and catcall me AT MY FUCKING BUS STOP.

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