Invite wording for gifts

Re: Invite wording for gifts

• martha1818 member

  

  October 2014 edited October 2014

  No, it's rude as it's technically asking for money, which you can't do when you invite guests to an event you're hosting for them. If you don't want any physical gifts, just don't register and they will get the hint. Like literally everyone on these boards says, everyone knows cash is an acceptable gift without being told.

  ETA: I read so many posts by former brides on here who say they didn't register and got over 95% cash gifts without having to break etiquette by outright asking-their guests got the hint.

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• MNVegas member

  

  October 2014

  Knottie23889323 said:

  This is the second marriage for both of us and we therefore do not need gifts as we have everything we need. In lieu of gifts we would like to request money for our honeymoon. Is this proper, and if so, suggestions on how to word it tactfully on our invites?

  It is very rude to request cash gifts or have a cash registry of any kind so there is no tactful wording you can use. Either don't set up a registry or have a very small one for people who want to give a boxed gift. People will get the hint that cash is appreciated. They don't need you to tell them to give cash.

  Mary Click here for my bio!

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• [Deleted User] member

  

  October 2014

  Where are you registered?

  How kind of you to ask.  We're not registered anywhere as we already have everything we need.  Though we are trying to save up money to go on a great honeymoon.  

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• levioosa member

  

  October 2014

  You cannot do this without being rude.  Do not include it on your STDs/Invitations.
  
  FYI, those "honeyfund" sites actually lie to your guests (who think they will be buying you a nice dinner when you are just getting a check to spend wherever) and they also charge a percentage (usually 3-7%) of the gift.  Wouldn't you rather have $100 than $93?  
  
  People aren't stupid. They know you want cash.  Follow adk's advice about how to respond when people ask where you are registered.  

  
  

  
  

  

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• southernbelle0915 mod

  

  October 2014

  No matter what your preference on gifts, you don't including info on the invitation. If you want money for whatever just don't register. People will ask you "where are registered?" You will say "oh we aren't registered, we're saving up for XYZ." They'll get it.

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• RebeccaFlower member

  

  October 2014

  People aren't stupid. They know you've been married and they know you have a house full of stuff. If Auntie Bee is going to buy you a random crockpot, she's going to do it if you write on your invites or not. 

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• Jen4948 member

  

  October 2014

  It is improper to mention gifts in any way on invitations, including "no gifts, " "cash only," or registry information, because to do so suggests that you "expect" gifts from your guests (with or without you stating a preference) and it comes off as grabby.
  
  If you don't want to receive packaged gifts, don't register.  People may decide to give you cash that you can spend any way you see fit.  But it's up to them to decide if, and what, they will give you.
  

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• Cookie Pusher member

  

  October 2014

  DH and I had been dating over 12 years and living together for over 10 when we got married - we literally owned everything we needed at the time, did not have room to store the things we didn't already have, and didn't want to upgrade since we don't know what our house will be like when we buy one in the near future. We simply didn't register. 100% of the gifts we received at the wedding were cash, checks, or gift cards.

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• flantastic member

  

  October 2014

  Looks like you've taken the advice, so, awesome.

  In addition, either plan a delayed honeymoon once you know what gifts have been given, or plan something you can fund entirely on your own. Do not plan a fancy honeymoon you cannot afford based on the expectation that your gifts will cover it.

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• theartistformerlyknownas member

  

  October 2014

  martha1818 said:

  No, it's rude as it's technically asking for money, which you can't do when you invite guests to an event you're hosting for them. If you don't want any physical gifts, just don't register and they will get the hint. Like literally everyone on these boards says, everyone knows cash is an acceptable gift without being told.

  ETA: I read so many posts by former brides on here who say they didn't register and got over 95% cash gifts without having to break etiquette by outright asking-their guests got the hint.

  I DID register and still got 95% cash gifts at the wedding. The registry gifts were given at the shower, which you should just decline if you don't want those gifts. People really don't tend to go out of their way to bring toasters to weddings.

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