Wedding Etiquette Forum

Outside Wedding in November?? *Lurkers Take Note*

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Re: Outside Wedding in November?? *Lurkers Take Note*

  • I just bought a new winter coat yesterday (what up, Macy's 50% sale!) and the mall was playing Christmas music. I didn't hate it. 
    Ok. I freaking loved it. 

    Anyway, the weather is all over the place in NY this time of year too. It's in the high 60s right now, and then we have lows of 30s by the end of the week. 

    It's official, we're the same person. H bought his new car on Saturday (went with a 2012 Rav4 - only 17,000 miles on it!) and I promptly tried to find Christmas music to program as one of the presets, since it was November 1st. I also got overly excited seeing the Target employees set up the Christmas section today.
  • I just bought a new winter coat yesterday (what up, Macy's 50% sale!) and the mall was playing Christmas music. I didn't hate it. 
    Ok. I freaking loved it. 

    Anyway, the weather is all over the place in NY this time of year too. It's in the high 60s right now, and then we have lows of 30s by the end of the week. 

    It's official, we're the same person. H bought his new car on Saturday (went with a 2012 Rav4 - only 17,000 miles on it!) and I promptly tried to find Christmas music to program as one of the presets, since it was November 1st. I also got overly excited seeing the Target employees set up the Christmas section today.
    Hahahaha! We really are the same! 

    I'm going to test drive the RAV 4 this weekend. 
  • I just bought a new winter coat yesterday (what up, Macy's 50% sale!) and the mall was playing Christmas music. I didn't hate it. 
    Ok. I freaking loved it. 

    Anyway, the weather is all over the place in NY this time of year too. It's in the high 60s right now, and then we have lows of 30s by the end of the week. 
    Awwww yeah, girl -- FI and I listened to a couple Christmas songs the other day because he'd never heard my favorite. And we bought our wrapping paper for this year yesterday! 

    (I don't even care that it's not Thanksgiving yet. I'm PREPARED.)
  • We went on a road trip in August and when we were driving across Wyoming there was nothing on the radio, so I turned my iPod on... to my Christmas playlist. No shame. 
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  • Brrrrrrrrrrrrrr.
  • l9i said:
    MobKaz said:
    Clearly, none of you really loved the couple whose wedding you attended, because if you did, none of those factors would be an issue.

    I can't tell if this is sarcastic or not.  I didn't attend (I had another commitment) and I'm glad I didn't spend the money to travel, etc and be miserable.  Does that mean I don't love them and wish them the best?  Absolutely not.  Yes, you can be incredibly happy for them and still have a horrible time due to their hosting decisions. 
    l9i .  I am absolutely being sarcastic.  Brides post countless rude and inconsiderate ideas, such as insufficient seating, huge gaps, cash bars, and outdoor weddings during seasons not conducive to outdoor events.  Knot regulars will point to the mistakes being made with these decisions.  Invariably and predictably, the typical response from these brides is, "Well, my friends and family love me and are happy to support us in any way".  "No one that loves us would ever complain because they are just so excited to celebrate our day". 
  • l9i said:
    MobKaz said:
    Clearly, none of you really loved the couple whose wedding you attended, because if you did, none of those factors would be an issue.

    I can't tell if this is sarcastic or not.  I didn't attend (I had another commitment) and I'm glad I didn't spend the money to travel, etc and be miserable.  Does that mean I don't love them and wish them the best?  Absolutely not.  Yes, you can be incredibly happy for them and still have a horrible time due to their hosting decisions. 
    I know you already figured out that her response was sarcastic, but everything you just said in this post is the reason behind her sarcasm. We logically-minded folk understand that you cannot expect people to be pleased with you when you treat them like crap and host them badly. However--LURKERS!--too many brides come here with their terrible ideas and insist that their friends and family won't mind, and if they have a problem with the plans then they must not love the couple and oh well they don't have to come. 

    This thread, among many many others, is indisputable proof that your friends and family WILL care if you put them through stuff like this! 
  • @MobKaz @JellyBean52513

    Yes, I figured out!  I'm still figuring out who the regulars are and their personalities.

    I get what you both are saying, I've seen some of those threads and it makes my head hurt on their logic of life.

    My friend was in this wedding I've mentioned, I'm curious to hear her feedback from it...  All I know from before was that the bride (her now SIL) was very controling... same hair, nails, shoes, etc, etc...

  • We got married in November (I wanted October, but there was no way to ensure all our siblings could attend unless we pushed it back).  Yes, I wanted pretty outdoor fall pictures.  It was 40 degrees and windy.  We had an indoor wedding and DH and I were the only ones outside taking a few pictures.  I'd never expect everyone to sit around outside in that!  
  • Poor DH and family recently went to a November wedding in Georgia. The ceremony was outside by a lake, and even though it is typically warmer there, the high was 50 and windy for the wedding. Everyone looked so miserable in the pictures. The rehearsal was outside the night before and last almost 2 hours because the DOC was clueless, day of the ceremony started 45 minutes late, and the reception was from 4-7 (with "hors de vours") and had seating for about 60% of the guests... Which were all taken by the time DH's family arrived. What. A. Mess.
  • That's what really gets me about these frigid outdoor weddings... it's usually because the bride's (or groom's) super special vision involves beautiful pictures of low streaming sunshine and bright fall leaves... but what about the extra-pink cheeks, runny noses and winter coats? How do those fit into your "vision?" If you're gonna be a SS at least be consistent. "Here's a heater so you look warm and pretty in my pictures, let me check your coat."

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  • Heck, my sister was married in Wisconsin in October a few years back and it snowed. She and BIL braved the cold for outdoor pictures but if she'd required me to stand around out there too I would have "accidentally" spilled my martini on her dress. (Ok, not really, but strong words would have been exchanged for sure.)
    ________________________________


  • Poor DH and family recently went to a November wedding in Georgia. The ceremony was outside by a lake, and even though it is typically warmer there, the high was 50 and windy for the wedding. Everyone looked so miserable in the pictures. The rehearsal was outside the night before and last almost 2 hours because the DOC was clueless, day of the ceremony started 45 minutes late, and the reception was from 4-7 (with "hors de vours") and had seating for about 60% of the guests... Which were all taken by the time DH's family arrived. What. A. Mess.
    "The ceremony started 45 minutes late". **LURKERS**, again, please take note. Many of you say these out-of-season weddings you plan will be "fine" because you planned a ten minute ceremony. Guests arrive early, and things happen to delay the start. You HAVE to factor in ALL the variables. Nothing is EVER 10 minutes.
  • MobKaz said:
    Poor DH and family recently went to a November wedding in Georgia. The ceremony was outside by a lake, and even though it is typically warmer there, the high was 50 and windy for the wedding. Everyone looked so miserable in the pictures. The rehearsal was outside the night before and last almost 2 hours because the DOC was clueless, day of the ceremony started 45 minutes late, and the reception was from 4-7 (with "hors de vours") and had seating for about 60% of the guests... Which were all taken by the time DH's family arrived. What. A. Mess.
    "The ceremony started 45 minutes late". **LURKERS**, again, please take note. Many of you say these out-of-season weddings you plan will be "fine" because you planned a ten minute ceremony. Guests arrive early, and things happen to delay the start. You HAVE to factor in ALL the variables. Nothing is EVER 10 minutes.
    Yes to the bolded! We had guests start arriving at 6 for our 6:30 pm ceremony and we started about 5 minutes late. Ceremony was about 20-25 minutes long. Thankfully we had an 80 degree day in late September, which is rare for my area, so no one froze. Our venue also would've pulled the plug on an outdoor ceremony if the temp had gotten below 65. No one wants to be cold, I don't care how much they love you.
  • MobKaz said:
    Poor DH and family recently went to a November wedding in Georgia. The ceremony was outside by a lake, and even though it is typically warmer there, the high was 50 and windy for the wedding. Everyone looked so miserable in the pictures. The rehearsal was outside the night before and last almost 2 hours because the DOC was clueless, day of the ceremony started 45 minutes late, and the reception was from 4-7 (with "hors de vours") and had seating for about 60% of the guests... Which were all taken by the time DH's family arrived. What. A. Mess.
    "The ceremony started 45 minutes late". **LURKERS**, again, please take note. Many of you say these out-of-season weddings you plan will be "fine" because you planned a ten minute ceremony. Guests arrive early, and things happen to delay the start. You HAVE to factor in ALL the variables. Nothing is EVER 10 minutes.
    Yes to the bolded! We had guests start arriving at 6 for our 6:30 pm ceremony and we started about 5 minutes late. Ceremony was about 20-25 minutes long. Thankfully we had an 80 degree day in late September, which is rare for my area, so no one froze. Our venue also would've pulled the plug on an outdoor ceremony if the temp had gotten below 65. No one wants to be cold, I don't care how much they love you.
    Guests started arriving to our 4:00 ceremony at 3:15. It should have been outside, as the average high temp for 9/13 was 75. Nope, it was 56 at noon with 20mph wind gusts so we moved it inside. Hit a high of 60 later in the afternoon, but I was happy to not make people sit outside for that. (Even though I love the cooler temps and was happy not to be hot.)

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  • Yea...we had snow in Southern Ohio last weekend.  It was only early morning snow/frost on the roofs and trees, but still snow/frost.  Poor planning, but I would't hate it, having lived in OH my whole life and knowing that November could bring ~30degree weather.  I spend most of my time outside this past weekend with temps between 50-55 degrees during the afternoons.  If they were in Cincy/Dayton Area, I would have expected it and would have been comfortable in my dress and my coat, knowing the weather.    Can't argue on the reception though; that shit should have been heated.
  • But just think it'd be soooo pretty if it snowed while exchanging vows...screw the guests...no actually guests should be GREATFUL to watch such a stunning display of nature and love!*sarcasm*

    I got married in 40 ish degree weather.....indoors. i mentioned taking pictures outdoors with a few guests...they said that'd rather do it indoors so pics with them were indoors no biggie.
  • My parents went to a wedding this past weekend in PA (outside of Philly).  The ceremony was outside at 4:30pm.  There are pictures of my mom and 2 aunts in bundled up in coats freezing.  One aunt is 80, one is 78 and just had pneumonia. My mom is 68 years old with bad RA, her meds lower her immune system so she is susceptible  to bronchitis or pneumonia. They all are great-aunts to the bride.  

    The parents tried to talked them into having the wedding inside but they refused.

    I'm all like WTF?






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
  • My FI and I are also getting married in November (Friday the 13th)! And even though it is possible for the weather to still be *decent* in Northern California, I don't want to risk bad weather, let alone having my guests and BP having to be out in the cold for an outdoor ceremony (which I originally thought I had wanted). However, we found a venue wth a *beautiful* indoor ceremony space that we are so happy with, so now we don't even have to pray that the rain holds out!
                                     Wedding Countdown Ticker

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  • JBee85JBee85 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    edited November 2014
    lyndausvi said:
    My parents went to a wedding this past weekend in PA (outside of Philly).  The ceremony was outside at 4:30pm.  There are pictures of my mom and 2 aunts in bundled up in coats freezing.  One aunt is 80, one is 78 and just had pneumonia. My mom is 68 years old with bad RA, her meds lower her immune system so she is susceptible  to bronchitis or pneumonia. They all are great-aunts to the bride.  

    The parents tried to talked them into having the wedding inside but they refused.

    I'm all like WTF?
    I live near there and was having my bachelorette party. We were all scrambling to bars because it was SO chilly. :(

    My wedding is this upcoming weekend and it's been a VERY cold week. Thankfully mine is a Catholic wedding and will be entirely indoors.
  • OMG because I can be a bitch I probably would have been mumbleing the whole time how DUMB that idea was. Why in the world would that ever be something someone wakes up one day and thinks is a good idea.
  • As a resident of Southern Ohio - they are nuts!

    We had our rehearsal dinner on Halloween (at our home) and it was chilly. Because they weather looked bad, we brought in a tent, three heaters and two fire pits. Some guests still chose to go inside (and that's why it was an option!). It was 40 degrees that night and I can tell you - without the heated garage, heated tent, firepits and the option to go inside - people would have been miserable! 
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