Community› Wedding Discussion Boards› Wedding Invitations & Paper
Wedding Invitations & Paper
New Discussion

Not having reception at destination wedding, i need help with my save the date!!

smilingchicasmilingchica member
in Wedding Invitations & Paper
I'm trying to be as economical as possible for our destination wedding, so my fiancé and i agreed to do email save the dates and then mail out the formal invites. I was dissatisfied with Evite for our engagement party so I saw that I could do a save the date from my Knot account. I sent one to myself to see what it looked like and I hate that it demands for me to put a time for the reception, because we're not having it until a few weeks after we get back. Any way I can adjust the save the date to NOT include Reception time or accommodations? All that information is on our travel agent's website. Any help with this save the date or another website that offers FREE, electronic save the dates, would be incredible, thank you!! 
Report Reply to Post

Re: Not having reception at destination wedding, i need help with my save the date!!

  • mikenbergermikenberger member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    edited November 2014
    lolo883 said:

    Knottie59886577 said:

    I'm trying to be as economical as possible for our destination wedding, so my fiancé and i agreed to do email save the dates and then mail out the formal invites. I was dissatisfied with Evite for our engagement party so I saw that I could do a save the date from my Knot account. I sent one to myself to see what it looked like and I hate that it demands for me to put a time for the reception, because we're not having it until a few weeks after we get back. Any way I can adjust the save the date to NOT include Reception time or accommodations? All that information is on our travel agent's website. Any help with this save the date or another website that offers FREE, electronic save the dates, would be incredible, thank you!! 

    There's no option because it's NOT an option. You must host all ceremony guests at a reception immediately following the ceremony. Not a few hours later, not a free weeks late . Immediately. ESPECIALLY for a destination wedding! Why on earth would people fly to some far off destination for a half hour ceremony and not be thanked for their time and support with a nice reception?

    Back to the drawing board, OP. If you want to save money that badly, don't invite guests. It get married locally. Or both.
    Lolo FTW. You don't have a destination wedding without some sort of thank you/reception for the people that spent, probably, thousands to come and see you get married. What are you planning on? A 20min ceremony and then you all walk away from the wedding place? No meal, no celebration no nothing? Sounds like a complete waste of money for your guests.

    image
    Report Reply
  • redoryxredoryx member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its

    These people are spending money to come watch you get married and while a reception doesn't have to be a big fancy shindig, you have to provide them with something after the ceremony.

    image
    Report Reply
  • Jen4948Jen4948 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    If I had to spend lots of money and take time off to attend a destination wedding and then was blown off after the ceremony with no hospitality at all, I'd be damn pissed and I'd be judging you hard.

    Sorry, but if you want to be polite to your guests, you owe them some kind of reception.  It doesn't have to be huge and fancy, but you need to front the costs of some form of hospitality immediately following the ceremony.  There is no way to politely or correctly word a save-the-date or an invitation to indicate otherwise.
    Report Reply
  • theartistformerlyknownastheartistformerlyknownas member
    First Comment First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its
    Um. Glad y'all could read that through all my Swype typos. (Swypos??) Dang new phone. Oy.
    image
    image
    Report Reply
  • CMGragainCMGragain member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    edited November 2014
    You don't send STDs to people who are invited to be your audience for a performance.  (Oooh, look at me!  I'm wearing a wedding dress!)  You send them for people who are invited to a party to celebrate your wedding, where they will be hosted with food and drink, and perhaps entertainment..
    What are you thinking?  Your plans are so rude!  You should just elope.
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
    Report Reply
  • Jessie42613Jessie42613 member
    First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    Why are people so friggin cheap? Blows my mind.
    Report Reply
  • ShesSoColdShesSoCold mod
    First Answer First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its
    OP - why not use the money you were spending on your "reception" at home for a reception at the DW? The point of a reception is to thank guests for coming to your wedding so not doing this after the  ceremony and several weeks later would be odd and tacky. 
    Image result for someecard betting someone half your shit youll love them forever
    Report Reply
  • plainjane0415plainjane0415 member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper

    You have to have something immediately after the ceremony.  Whether it be a meal, or cake and punch, you have to have something.  This doesn't mean that you can't have your celebration of marriage reception after the DW, but you MUST have some sort of reception immediately after the ceremony.  Why don't you look into a cake/punch reception after the wedding, and then have your blow out party when you return home from the DW?  That's an easy compromise.

    image
    Report Reply
  • theartistformerlyknownastheartistformerlyknownas member
    First Comment First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its
    Maggie0829 said:
    plainjane0415 said:

    You have to have something immediately after the ceremony.  Whether it be a meal, or cake and punch, you have to have something.  This doesn't mean that you can't have your celebration of marriage reception after the DW, but you MUST have some sort of reception immediately after the ceremony.  Why don't you look into a cake/punch reception after the wedding, and then have your blow out party when you return home from the DW?  That's an easy compromise.

    I know a cake and punch reception is perfectly fine etiquette wise, but if I traveled to a DW and all I got was a slice of cake and some punch I would be really, really, really pissed.

    I just think that if you are expecting your guests to travel a long distance and spend money on airfare and lodging and taking time off of work then the least you could do is provide them with a decent meal/party.
    Ditto this. All 3 DWs I've been invited to included 2 full meals - the RD was turned into a welcome dinner for all guests the night before, plus the reception dinner. 

    More often than not, DWs require time off work, airfare and at least 2 nights accommodations. Asking guests to shell out that much time and money just so you can have a pretty backdrop for pictures but not step up with a great party for them is just thoughtless.
    image
    image
    Report Reply
  • slothiegalslothiegal member
    First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    lolo883 said:
    Maggie0829 said:
    plainjane0415 said:

    You have to have something immediately after the ceremony.  Whether it be a meal, or cake and punch, you have to have something.  This doesn't mean that you can't have your celebration of marriage reception after the DW, but you MUST have some sort of reception immediately after the ceremony.  Why don't you look into a cake/punch reception after the wedding, and then have your blow out party when you return home from the DW?  That's an easy compromise.

    I know a cake and punch reception is perfectly fine etiquette wise, but if I traveled to a DW and all I got was a slice of cake and some punch I would be really, really, really pissed.

    I just think that if you are expecting your guests to travel a long distance and spend money on airfare and lodging and taking time off of work then the least you could do is provide them with a decent meal/party.
    Ditto this. All 3 DWs I've been invited to included 2 full meals - the RD was turned into a welcome dinner for all guests the night before, plus the reception dinner. 

    More often than not, DWs require time off work, airfare and at least 2 nights accommodations. Asking guests to shell out that much time and money just so you can have a pretty backdrop for pictures but not step up with a great party for them is just thoughtless.
    Yup.  Our wedding was a DW for about 95% of our guests; in addition to the reception, we provided a welcome dinner in lieu of RD and a simple breakfast (ordered a bunch of coffee and pastries from Panera and my parents hosted people in the house they had rented for the week) the morning after the wedding.  It was a blast; it provided more opportunities for all of our loved ones to get to know each other and more time for us to hang out with our guests.  Honestly, that was one of my FAVORITE parts of our wedding (besides the whole getting married thing): getting to see all our loved ones, all in one place, and party our asses off.
    Anniversary

    image
    Report Reply
  • plainjane0415plainjane0415 member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    O I am in full agreeance that she should have a full meal after the DW.  I was just saying that she has to provide them with something afterwords because from the OP, it sounded like she wasn't going to host anything.
    image
    Report Reply
  • misshart00misshart00 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    I refuse to believe this is real.
    Report Reply
  • redoryxredoryx member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    Maggie0829 said:
    plainjane0415 said:

    You have to have something immediately after the ceremony.  Whether it be a meal, or cake and punch, you have to have something.  This doesn't mean that you can't have your celebration of marriage reception after the DW, but you MUST have some sort of reception immediately after the ceremony.  Why don't you look into a cake/punch reception after the wedding, and then have your blow out party when you return home from the DW?  That's an easy compromise.

    I know a cake and punch reception is perfectly fine etiquette wise, but if I traveled to a DW and all I got was a slice of cake and some punch I would be really, really, really pissed.

    I just think that if you are expecting your guests to travel a long distance and spend money on airfare and lodging and taking time off of work then the least you could do is provide them with a decent meal/party.
    Oh, I totally agreed, I'd be pissed, too. Especially since DWs often require more moola and time. But if the choice is cake or nothing, well, let them eat cake.
    image
    Report Reply
  • plainjane0415plainjane0415 member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    redoryx said:
    Maggie0829 said:
    plainjane0415 said:

    You have to have something immediately after the ceremony.  Whether it be a meal, or cake and punch, you have to have something.  This doesn't mean that you can't have your celebration of marriage reception after the DW, but you MUST have some sort of reception immediately after the ceremony.  Why don't you look into a cake/punch reception after the wedding, and then have your blow out party when you return home from the DW?  That's an easy compromise.

    I know a cake and punch reception is perfectly fine etiquette wise, but if I traveled to a DW and all I got was a slice of cake and some punch I would be really, really, really pissed.

    I just think that if you are expecting your guests to travel a long distance and spend money on airfare and lodging and taking time off of work then the least you could do is provide them with a decent meal/party.
    Oh, I totally agreed, I'd be pissed, too. Especially since DWs often require more moola and time. But if the choice is cake or nothing, well, let them eat cake.

    Ditto to this.  I also had a thought, that maybe heavy apps would also be a good choice?  The only thing with that is that those can sometimes end up being the same price as a full meal. I also wanted to ask, is this reception that you are going to have at home, more of a casual party?  
    image
    Report Reply
  • plainjane0415plainjane0415 member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    **because I can't edit at work** If a heavy app reception type thing is going to be the same price (or close to it) as a full meal, just go ahead with the full meal.  Also, have you even priced this stuff yet?  Or talked to a caterer about a budget? That might be something that you can look into doing as well.
    image
    Report Reply
  • JennyColadaJennyColada member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    You don't have to do STDs at all. You could verbally tell your VIPs about the date.

    But DWs can sometimes be pricey, so it sounds like a local wedding might be better budget-wise for you. You can use the money you saved to do a local reception for your invited guests!

    Win-win all-around.
    Report Reply
  • Jessie42613Jessie42613 member
    First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    OP hasn't even bothered to read the replies.  Glad we all took the time to respond...
    Report Reply
  • AddieCakeAddieCake member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    Jessie42613 said:
    OP hasn't even bothered to read the replies.  Glad we all took the time to respond...

    Maybe she hasn't had time to be on TK since posting her question. This is not something to snark about.
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
    image
    Report Reply
  • glitch104glitch104 member
    Name Dropper 5 Love Its First Comment
    A very close friend of mine was part of the bridal party AND the main makeup artist for the bride/bridal party and found out her friend(the bride) was not doing a reception after everything was booked. The bride decided after the wedding her and her husband were going to have a private dinner and spend time together without the guests. Let me tell you how infuriating this was for her and everyone else. How incredibly rude and tasteless. My friend said had she known this before hand she would have turned down being a brides maid and skipped the nuptials. Bad bad idea.







    image
    Report Reply
  • Jessie42613Jessie42613 member
    First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    AddieCake said:
    Jessie42613 said:
    OP hasn't even bothered to read the replies.  Glad we all took the time to respond...

    Maybe she hasn't had time to be on TK since posting her question. This is not something to snark about.
    I feel after 5 days, snark is appropriate.
    Report Reply
  • traditionallyuntraditionaltraditionallyuntraditional member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    If you are still reading this I think maybe it would be wise to reevaluate your wedding plans. If you cannot afford to host a reception at a DW wedding I think it would be wiser to find something more economical close to home. No offense but it sounds like your planning a dream wedding with no budget to do so. A wedding does not need to be over the top no matter how much you spend or how many guests you have at the end of the day all weddings accomplish one thing - uniting two people who are so deeply in love they want to spend the rest of their lives together.
    Report Reply
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards