this is the code for the render ad
Community› Wedding Discussion Boards› Wedding Party
Wedding Party
New Discussion

What to call a parental substitute in the program

KylaSedai_23635864KylaSedai_23635864 member
Eighth Anniversary First Comment
in Wedding Party
Help! We're putting the programs together, and can't think of what to call the woman who is acting as FH's mother on the day. She's a very close friend of the family, and really stepped in for him after his mother passed away. They're very explicitly not religious and she does not want to be listed as a "Godmother."

Any ideas on what we can call her? "Special Friend" seems awkward, and "Fulfilling the Duties of Mother of the Groom" or "Serving as Mother of the Groom" sound both awkward and pretentious. 

Thanks!
Report Reply to Post

Re: What to call a parental substitute in the program

  • holyguacamole79holyguacamole79 member
    5000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    KylaSedai said:
    Help! We're putting the programs together, and can't think of what to call the woman who is acting as FH's mother on the day. She's a very close friend of the family, and really stepped in for him after his mother passed away. They're very explicitly not religious and she does not want to be listed as a "Godmother."

    Any ideas on what we can call her? "Special Friend" seems awkward, and "Fulfilling the Duties of Mother of the Groom" or "Serving as Mother of the Groom" sound both awkward and pretentious. 

    Thanks!

    What is she actually doing during the wedding ceremony? Is there a reason why you feel the need to list her?




    Report Reply
  • KylaSedai_23635864KylaSedai_23635864 member
    Eighth Anniversary First Comment
    She's being escorted in as if she were the mother of the groom, she'll be one of the ones lighting a candle for the unity ceremony, and dancing with the groom at the reception. She's a hugely important person to him (and both of us) and we'd like to honor her.
    Report Reply
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
    100 Comments Second Anniversary 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    Jane Doe - "A Dear Friend of the Family" or just "A Dear Friend"?!?
    Report Reply
  • KylaSedai_23635864KylaSedai_23635864 member
    Eighth Anniversary First Comment
    That has a nice ring to it. We also found a suggestion for "Bonus Mom." It'll give FH a few things to choose from, at least - thank you so much!
    Report Reply
  • holyguacamole79holyguacamole79 member
    5000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    edited November 2014
    KylaSedai said:
    She's being escorted in as if she were the mother of the groom, she'll be one of the ones lighting a candle for the unity ceremony, and dancing with the groom at the reception. She's a hugely important person to him (and both of us) and we'd like to honor her.

    When listing the "steps" of the ceremony, note that she will be lighting the unity candle. 

     For example,

    image
    Where it says "candle lighting ceremony", include her name with your mothers name. I wouldn't list her with the family as to not confuse people.  If you are giving a corsage to your mom, give her one as well.  

    As she is important to you & FI, I would find a way to thank her privately.  Listing her in the program isn't much of an "honor", if you ask me.




    Report Reply
  • CMGragainCMGragain member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    No one can substitute for your FI's mother.  (I assume she is deceased?)  I think this is a terrible idea.
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
    Report Reply
  • climbingsingleclimbingsingle member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    The term "bonus mom" kind of rubs me the wrong way. 
    Report Reply
  • alyssanicole18alyssanicole18 member
    10 Comments Name Dropper
    One of my friends had this situation. Her husbands Mom wasn't in the picture and his Aunt practically raised him. They just put her name, and later at the reception he spoke before their dance and said she was like a Mother to him and etc. they didn't mark it special in the program, just explained later.
    Report Reply
  • PrettyGirlLostPrettyGirlLost member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    Just list this woman by her first and last name.  Don't make up a silly title for her that may actually be offensive.

    Not trying to sound harsh, but honestly your wedding guests don't really care who is who in your wedding party, it's all kind of irrelevant to them. 

    We had a full catholic mass and didn't bother with programs and they were not remotley missed.

    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


    Report Reply
  • Jen4948Jen4948 member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    Just list her by name.  She doesn't need a "role" or "title."
    Report Reply
  • jacques27jacques27 member
    Knottie Warrior 1000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Another vote for no cutesy role or title (and definitely not "bonus mom" - ugh!) or "serving as".  I also wouldn't call it a "mother/son" dance and act like she's a substitute - the DJ can just say something like "And now the groom would like to dance with *Kathy*, who holds a special place in his life..." or something like that.  Her first and last name is fine next to whatever part she plays in the ceremony is fine.  Give her a corsage as well.

    People will "get" that she's important by virtue of the fact that she's part of the proceedings.  No one is going to think you just plucked a random stranger off the street to walk down the aisle or do the unity candle. 
    Report Reply
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards