Will I Regret It if FI and I Don't Spend Wedding Eve Apart?

themosthappy91 · November 2014

So here's the dilemma ladies... I am kind of a baby and I don't really like spending nights away from FI. I am concerned that with all the stress and emotion of the wedding, it might not be the best idea to spend the night before the wedding apart. Not like I'm going to have a breakdown or something, I just might be more stressed/on edge and have a harder time sleeping. FI initially assumed we would spend that night apart and thought that would be fun, but is totally on board if I am more comfortable not separating- it's just not his preference (he's just into the idea of the first time we see each other on the wedding day being when I walk down the aisle, for whatever reason). I definitely see the romance and appeal of having a little more suspense/missing each other building going into the wedding day, I'm just not sure that's the best idea for us. So my question is, will I regret it if I don't spend the night apart from FI? Will it make seeing each other in the chapel less "magical", so to speak? Has anyone out there had experience with this?

southernbelle0915 · November 2014

We spent wedding eve together. Not because we can't be apart but because logistics and ease of planning. I wanted a good night sleep. If he had wanted to sleep somewhere else, I wouldn't care, but it probably would have meant sharing a bed with his sister or sleeping on the floor. Not ideal. I guess that's the only way I've done it so nothing to compare it to, but I do not regret it at all.

mrscaty · November 2014

We spend the night before together and I don't regret it. We weren't going to, but DH didn't get back from his bachelor party until really late the day before the wedding. He just wanted to sleep, which was easier at our place than his parents. Plus, I was awake and out of the house for hair/make-up before he even got up Saturday. For all intents and purposes, we didn't really see each other anyway. If you think you will sleep better with him there, I'd do it. You will definitely need to be well rested.

jenna8984 · November 2014

We had absolutely NO intention of sleeping apart that night. I just don't understand the tradition at all. It was actually one of my favorite moments waking up and I immediately jumped out of bed and started doing a dance shaking my ass and singing "It's wedding day- it's wedding day!" He laughed and started singing along and it was awesome. I left for the salon and he met me at the venue and we did first look photos. There was nothing that was not "magical" about it, I loved every second.

Lizzieyounce · November 2014

Meh, we spent wedding eve apart. He left after the at home rehearsal party/open house. I slept like a baby, mostly because I was tired from all of the days activities. He spent the night before at the hotel we had a block at, visiting with his bestie, then the wedding morning spoiling himself and his groomsmen with old fashioned shaves, and I spent the day with my daughters and FMIL getting pampered at the hair salon. We didn't do a first look...

I don't regret it at all. There was something about seeing his face at the end of the aisle, and the just "OMG I am so in love with you" expression that made our not being together the night before all worth it for me.

That said, it's a judgement call. There is no wrong answer here, really. Just go with your gut.

luckya23 · November 2014

I actually sleep much better apart from FI, so I hope he doesn't think he should stay at the hotel with me! (He works night shift and his sleep schedule is allllll messed up on days he isn't working)

I very seriously doubt that you would "regret" staying with him the night before... I'm sure when the time comes it will be a non-issue.

kaitlynmichelle · November 2014

H and I not only spent the night together, we had breakfast together the morning of the wedding at our venue. We only split up to get ready for the ceremony, about 3 hours beforehand. I wouldn't have done it any other way personally, but to each their own.

Do what will make both of you happy and comfortable, not what tradition or other people tell you.

huskypuppy14 · November 2014

We stayed together the night before, we were staying in a hotel and it didn't make sense to pay for 2 separate rooms. Plus we did a first look before the ceremony, so he would have seen me anyway.

I loved my first look, and wouldn't change a thing about that. It was also great just relaxing before the ceremony with the parents and bridal party all together. When I walked down the aisle, he had seen me 5 minutes before, and it didn't change the specialness of it.

If he doesn't see you all done up before the wedding, it shouldn't really matter if he sees you the morning of in your yoga pants and a tank top (or whatever). Our first look was awesome because we got to have a private moment where we got to see each other for the first time in our wedding clothes (do you see how much I love first looks!)

I didn't sleep well the night before my wedding anyway just because I was a bundle of nerves, but I'm sure my now husband watching the Stanley cup finals wasn't helping anything either.

JennyColada · November 2014

We spent the night together, and we even got READY together. We walked to our ceremony site together. We had champagne together before the ceremony.

I still felt like saying our vows and walking to him at the altar was super magical and amazing and romantic.

So really it just is what you make of it.

decembergrl2014 · November 2014

FI and I will be spending the night before together. His kids will also be with us (2FGs and 1 of the 2 RB). The morning of me and the girls will get our hair done and then spend the day at my parents house. FI and I won't see each other till I walk down the aisle.

smalfrie19 · November 2014

We spent the night together as well and he gave me a kiss and helped me pack the car before I left and gave me cash for coffee and lunch. We also did first look pictures. I can't wait to get those!!!!

penguin44 · November 2014

We didn't want to pay for an extra hotel room, so we spent the night together. Well that isn't true, we didn't really care about the tradition. That was the main reasoning. It didn't make anything less special. We ate breakfast together. It was great.

JennyColada · November 2014

smalfrie19 said:

We spent the night together ...gave me cash for coffee and lunch.

That's very Pretty Woman of you.

smalfrie19 · November 2014

JennyColada said:

smalfrie19 said:

We spent the night together ...gave me cash for coffee and lunch.

That's very Pretty Woman of you.

lol I know right!! Honestly it would have gone on my debit card but his dad gave him cash the night before so we just had more "in the bank" for the honeymoon!

JennyColada · November 2014

smalfrie19 said:

JennyColada said:

smalfrie19 said:

We spent the night together ...gave me cash for coffee and lunch.

That's very Pretty Woman of you.

lol I know right!! Honestly it would have gone on my debit card but his dad gave him cash the night before so we just had more "in the bank" for the honeymoon!

One day I was going to the County Fair and DH (Fi at the time) had left $20 on the nightstand for me (he had already gone to work when I work up).

He wanted me to buy him beef jerky at the fair, but it ended up being a VERY interesting text conversation!

Blergbot · November 2014

We spent the night together, and had breakfast together. I knew if we spent the night apart I wouldn't have slept well...I still had a bit of a night, because I was on the bathroom floor at 1am puking (I'm pregnant), but FI slept like a baby through the whole thing. Anyway, I'm so glad we stayed together. I wouldn't have had it any other way.

littlemushroom · November 2014

Potentially TMI.

We spent the night together. We used it as an excuse to have "single person" sex one more time. It was incredible. Then when we were both having trouble sleeping at the hotel that night (our package included a complimentary room for us two nights even though we were local), we drove home at 1 in the morning and fell asleep in our own bed.

The next morning, we drove back to the hotel together and had breakfast together in the room. He left when the hair and makeup stylists got there and we got ready separately.

I saw him for the first time in my dress at our First Look. That is one of my favorite memories of the day. Getting to spend all that time together alone was amazing. We spent the rest of the day together before the ceremony hanging out with family and our party.

Walking down the aisle was still completely magical even though we had only been apart for about 3 hours the entire day. I wouldn't change anything about our wedding day.

Sugargirl1019 · November 2014

I had so much pressure to NOT see DH the night before that I probably would have regretted it if we snuck in together to sleep. I'm used to all the tradition and was gung ho about sticking to it all. Haha. So it's really up to you and what you want. If you want to stay separate, stay separate. If you want to sleep together, sleep together.

My family was big on keeping us separated, it was kind of good luck getting to see him! So prepare to explain things to family if you need to.

shaker227 · November 2014

themosthappy91 said:
So here's the dilemma ladies... I am kind of a baby and I don't really like spending nights away from FI. I am concerned that with all the stress and emotion of the wedding, it might not be the best idea to spend the night before the wedding apart. Not like I'm going to have a breakdown or something, I just might be more stressed/on edge and have a harder time sleeping. FI initially assumed we would spend that night apart and thought that would be fun, but is totally on board if I am more comfortable not separating- it's just not his preference (he's just into the idea of the first time we see each other on the wedding day being when I walk down the aisle, for whatever reason). I definitely see the romance and appeal of having a little more suspense/missing each other building going into the wedding day, I'm just not sure that's the best idea for us. So my question is, will I regret it if I don't spend the night apart from FI? Will it make seeing each other in the chapel less "magical", so to speak? Has anyone out there had experience with this?

I could have written this post. But eventually we decided to stay together and FI will just get up early and leave before any of the girls get to our house to get ready. I know I will sleep better this way and I am looking forward to having those few minutes alone together that morning! However I am hoping our families just don't ask where FI is staying.

huskypuppy14 · November 2014

shaker227 said:

So here's the dilemma ladies... I am kind of a baby and I don't really like spending nights away from FI. I am concerned that with all the stress and emotion of the wedding, it might not be the best idea to spend the night before the wedding apart. Not like I'm going to have a breakdown or something, I just might be more stressed/on edge and have a harder time sleeping. FI initially assumed we would spend that night apart and thought that would be fun, but is totally on board if I am more comfortable not separating- it's just not his preference (he's just into the idea of the first time we see each other on the wedding day being when I walk down the aisle, for whatever reason). I definitely see the romance and appeal of having a little more suspense/missing each other building going into the wedding day, I'm just not sure that's the best idea for us. So my question is, will I regret it if I don't spend the night apart from FI? Will it make seeing each other in the chapel less "magical", so to speak? Has anyone out there had experience with this?
I could have written this post. But eventually we decided to stay together and FI will just get up early and leave before any of the girls get to our house to get ready. I know I will sleep better this way and I am looking forward to having those few minutes alone together that morning! However I am hoping our families just don't ask where FI is staying.

Why do people care? Obviously, if you were the Duggers, it would be inappropriate, but if you have lived with your FI I'm assuming people know that. What does it matter if it's the day before you're wedding. I just don't understand.

My mom made one comment, like oh you're staying together the night before. But it was just in passing. We were 31 and 36, the jig is up.

shaker227 · November 2014

huskypuppy14 said:

shaker227 said:

So here's the dilemma ladies... I am kind of a baby and I don't really like spending nights away from FI. I am concerned that with all the stress and emotion of the wedding, it might not be the best idea to spend the night before the wedding apart. Not like I'm going to have a breakdown or something, I just might be more stressed/on edge and have a harder time sleeping. FI initially assumed we would spend that night apart and thought that would be fun, but is totally on board if I am more comfortable not separating- it's just not his preference (he's just into the idea of the first time we see each other on the wedding day being when I walk down the aisle, for whatever reason). I definitely see the romance and appeal of having a little more suspense/missing each other building going into the wedding day, I'm just not sure that's the best idea for us. So my question is, will I regret it if I don't spend the night apart from FI? Will it make seeing each other in the chapel less "magical", so to speak? Has anyone out there had experience with this?
I could have written this post. But eventually we decided to stay together and FI will just get up early and leave before any of the girls get to our house to get ready. I know I will sleep better this way and I am looking forward to having those few minutes alone together that morning! However I am hoping our families just don't ask where FI is staying.

Why do people care? Obviously, if you were the Duggers, it would be inappropriate, but if you have lived with your FI I'm assuming people know that. What does it matter if it's the day before you're wedding. I just don't understand.

My mom made one comment, like oh you're staying together the night before. But it was just in passing. We were 31 and 36, the jig is up.

Edit: No box

No one will significantly care. I can't think of anyone else in our families/friend groups that stayed together the night before so I'm just assuming that people will be like "gasp! tradition!" I am tired of opinions

pumpkincreamcake15 · November 2014

I understand girl I am the same exact way, I hate being away from my fiance. I actually am tonight due to a long distance doctors appointment and moving. Although I am staying with my grandmother I hate it!!! I know I won't sleep a wink tonight. But, as far as your wedding eve night it is up to you, there is nothing wrong with breaking a silly tradition if you feel it will make you more comfortable and at ease then stay with your FI. I personally will be sleeping in a different location on my wedding eve cause I like tradition and don't expect to sleep much anyway. It's up to you

.

WinstonsGirl · November 2014

We stayed together, but we had a DW and were out of town in a hotel. We did plan specifically though to have breakfast together, just the two of us. He even saw me getting ready with rollers and my hair all over the place cos he came to drop 1 last thing off. We were both adamant though that he didn't want to see me before I came down the aisle, so once we both started getting ready he was out. We had also been living together for almost 2 years at that point too, so no one cared

raissyrais · November 2014

We are not spending the night together. He'll be in his own little bungalow with his family and friends, and I'll be staying at home with mum. I sleep just as well with or without him cause we have been long distance for so long before. It really depends on you and what makes you more comfortable.

However, I know the excitement might keep me up, so I'm definitely taking a NyQuill right before going to bed. That will help me pass out, sleep well, and wake up fresh and dewy for the big day!

climbingsingle · November 2014

We spent the night before together. We were staying at a beautiful resort, and we had a gorgeous suite. We both wanted to be with each other the night before. It was actually a really awesome night. We took a bath together and drank some wine and cuddled. I know! CHEESETASTIC! But it was really fun.

emmaaa · November 2014

We are not staying together the night before. Even though we've lived together for a while, we want to have the night apart before we're married. I'm staying at the venue with my MOH and any B's that want to stay and FI is staying at our house with some of his friends and GMs. If you don't want to be apart the night before, don't. If that is something you're really adament about then I doubt you would regret it.

birdybride2014 · November 2014

Neither of us are really keen on staying together the night before, plus I want to pamper myself the night before in a nice hotel room. I got a room with two double beds and a pull out couch so that if any maids want to stay the night with me there is room for them, plus it has free breakfast that morning so that is a win-win.

I bet I'll be sad to leave FI on Friday after the rehearsal, but it will build up the anticipation more and make me more excited! I enjoy the tradition of not seeing one another beforehand, but agree that it isn't necessary.

cupcait927 · November 2014

My best friends wanted me to sleep over with them and couldn't believe I wanted to stay the night with H. There is no way I was going to spend the night away from him. After our families left the lakehouse we were staying in, we just hung out and enjoyed our last night together as just an engaged couple. We went to bed super early and both woke up at 4 am because we couldn't sleep. We just talked and cuddled for an hour until we could fall asleep again. For me, it was the right decision to stay with him that night but everyone feels differently. Do what YOU want to do.

goldchocobo.defunct635829490514903826 · November 2014

We stayed together the night before. Our room was comped by the hotel and it was a pretty sweet room so why not? It didnt make the day any less special. Do what's best for you, and no one should be asking or caring about your overnight plans.

LadyMillil · November 2014

WinstonsGirl said:

We stayed together, but we had a DW and were out of town in a hotel. We did plan specifically though to have breakfast together, just the two of us. He even saw me getting ready with rollers and my hair all over the place cos he came to drop 1 last thing off. We were both adamant though that he didn't want to see me before I came down the aisle, so once we both started getting ready he was out. We had also been living together for almost 2 years at that point too, so no one cared

We lived together for 4.5 years by the time of the wedding and my parents still freaked out that we were going to spend the night together before the wedding and *gasp/clutch pearls* see each other before the ceremony. They tried to guilt DH into booking a room at the hotel. We went to see a movie after the RD and it ended at 12:10am so it wouldn't have mattered if DH got a room at a hotel, we still would have seen each other on the wedding day before the ceremony.

PrettyGirlLost · November 2014

Yeah that was one of those superstitions I didn't give a rat's ass about.

FI, er DH, and I spent the night before the wedding together and logistically it just worked out for the best that way. Plus, he was very helpful the next morning leading up to the ceremony- he helped handle people bugging me about stupid shit they should have been able to handle on their own, and helped manage minor drama from our families and screw- ups with the reception venue. That was a lot of shit I really didn't have time to deal with while getting hair and make up done, lol.

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