Attire & Accessories Forum

Did you ask his opinion?

So I notice that a lot of the women on SYTTD come in with "My fiancé doesn't care as long as it's not....." or "my fiancé really wants my dress to have....." .

In "real life" I know a bunch of people who just went, bought dress, and said nothing to fiancé.

Did you ask his opinion before you went or no?
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Re: Did you ask his opinion?

  • I asked if there was anything he hated or anything, since I watch SYTTD and other bridal shows so he has seen a lot of dresses already.  I think he said he would prefer it be a full length gown and not have one of those 'crazy paper mache' skirts.  Now, if that was my style I would say fuck it and go get my crazy short skirt dress, though.
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  • I definitely did NOT ask his opinion haha. He thinks I look sexy no matter what I wear!
  • I tried to do the same thing as doeydo. Find out what he didn't like. Thought I had that squared away but it turns out that that varies from dress to dress. It's starting to get infuriating because the one thing that I've nailed down that he likes is gigantic cleavage, which is NOT the look i'm going for. 

    So, as much as I tried to include him, I think I need to stop showing him pictures and just do my own thing. I'm getting tired of hearing that dresses I like look like He-Man's armor or the Marilyn Manson Mechanical Animals cover.

    He'll like what I wear because he'll have to :)
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  • I asked what he would like to see me in. He said elegant, form-fitting...and I don't remember what the last one was. But my dress is definitely elegant and form-fitting.
  • No, I did not.
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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  • I tried to gauge what he'd like by asking what he thought about dresses at weddings we attended, store windows we'd walk by, dresses on TV/in movies, etc. But ultimately, I just bought one I liked. We have the same sense of style - classic and comfortable - so he loved what I ended up with.
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  • Nope. I know the types of things he likes me in, so I didn't see the need. Luckily for him, what he likes me in also happened to be the style I wanted.

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  • rnsoonrnsoon member
    Fourth Anniversary 25 Love Its 10 Comments Name Dropper
    edited November 2014

    He'll like what I wear because he'll have to :)


    I feel like this is the way to go, lol. I'm guessing they will be shocked/excited so they will hardly notice other than to say how beautiful you(general) are.

    Just curious! I bought a pea coat and he calls them linebacker jackets because they make people look stiff, apparently, so it translated to wedding dresses somehow. I have weird thought processes.

    Edited because random words that make no sense.
  • We picked mine out together on the David's Bridal website, because I knew he wouldn't like anything I picked for myself. My taste...well, I'd have found myself a muu-muu, and he would have been disappointed. So I showed him the four or so I'd found and let him pick, pretty much.

    But I'm not really into fashion and I hate the way I look in almost everything, so I figured I might as well please him, anyway.

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  • Yes, I did ask him!He always said I have a poor ability to choose the perfect outfit for me.So he always give suggests on me when we go dress shopping!
  • I tried to get an idea from him and eventually, I just went with my heart.  He said he didn't like 'lace', but his version of lace (lingerie) was different from my version (overlay).  So, when I found myself in an explanation rabbit hole, I just said "I got it hun." and he was relieved and said "you'll look fantastic in anything anyway" and that was the end of that.  LOLOL!
  • I asked his opinion and he didn't care. 
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  • No I did not ask his opinion.  He knows me and he knows my style and how I like to dress.  And sorry not sorry but the dress was for me to love and feel beautiful in, not for him to put his two cents into.  If you feel beautiful then that will show and your SO will have no choice but to think you are beautiful as well, even if you are in a potato sack.

  • Nah, didn't ask his opinion. His response to literally everything I do with clothes/hair/makeup/whatever is "You're so pretty, babe." The only thing I think he'd ever have a strong opinion about is cutting my hair, and even then he doesn't care what I do with it; he just likes it longer (TBH, basically everyone I know does). 

    I did take him to David's and a consignment store with me to try on dresses just to make sure that the one I already had was the one I really wanted, since I found it at random by total accident and it's not a "wedding dress" per se. He liked everything I tried on, which I figured would happen. 
  • I actually kind of wanted to take him with me, but he decided he wanted to be surprised a bit by it. I ended up showing him a picture of a dress I rejected and he said I looked beautiful but I know the one I picked is way better. 

    I think it's up to you. A friend of mine bought a wedding dress with sleeves, she is basically covered in lace from wrist to throat to toe, with a bit of a dip in the back. She went to a wedding expo with her fiance and pointed out a similar dress with similar sleeves to him and he basically responded "ew". I'm sure when he sees her in it he'll think she's lovely, but now she has to carry it around with her that he dislikes the style of the dress she picked. 

    Long story short, do it at your own risk. 
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  • I picked what I loved.  I didn't get a second opinion from anyone--my best friend and MOH, my mom, my FMIL.  I wanted to be 100% confident in my selection.  I knew that if I asked my mom, she'd want something poufy and bedazzled, my FMIL would be shocked I'd spend that much, and my best friend would suggest sexier.  This kept doubt from creeping into my mind.
  • pearlluo said:
    Yes, I did ask him!He always said I have a poor ability to choose the perfect outfit for me.So he always give suggests on me when we go dress shopping!
    This is sad. You are perfectly capable of picking out your own clothing.
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    I'm the fuck
    out.

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  • edited November 2014
    No, I did not ask his opinion. I picked out what I liked. Same with his tux. He picked out what he liked. 
    pearlluo said:
    Yes, I did ask him!He always said I have a poor ability to choose the perfect outfit for me.So he always give suggests on me when we go dress shopping!
    And this is sad. 
  • No, I did not ask his opinion. I picked out what I liked. Same with his tux. He picked out what he liked. 


    pearlluo said:

    Yes, I did ask him!He always said I have a poor ability to choose the perfect outfit for me.So he always give suggests on me when we go dress shopping!

    And this is sad. 

    I have no words.



    But, when the time comes, I will probably ask opinions before I go, and my mom will be going with me. Not engaged yet so I won't be going anytime soon. Just curious about what everyone else did :) I know I definitely will not be taking him with me.

    @esstee33‌ - That is a perfect response from him!

    @Maggie0829‌ - I understand where you're coming from and I agree mostly, but I view it as both of your day and I'm sure I will have input on what he wears, whether he goes with what I say or not, so why not have his opinion? Just something to think about. :)
  • I tried to get him input. He didn't want to know anything about the dress (he got upset when I said it was white) but I asked him what he thought of dresses on SYTTD and stuff like that. But it was totally up to me and I would have picked what I felt best in, as opposed to what he wanted. 
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  • No, I did not ask his opinion. I picked out what I liked. Same with his tux. He picked out what he liked. 
    pearlluo said:
    Yes, I did ask him!He always said I have a poor ability to choose the perfect outfit for me.So he always give suggests on me when we go dress shopping!
    And this is sad. 
    I have no words. But, when the time comes, I will probably ask opinions before I go, and my mom will be going with me. Not engaged yet so I won't be going anytime soon. Just curious about what everyone else did :) I know I definitely will not be taking him with me. @esstee33‌ - That is a perfect response from him! @Maggie0829‌ - I understand where you're coming from and I agree mostly, but I view it as both of your day and I'm sure I will have input on what he wears, whether he goes with what I say or not, so why not have his opinion? Just something to think about. :)
    @houndpuppy1 - Yes it is both of your days BUT you are the one having to wear the dress, not him.  Same with him and his outfit.  Why do you feel it is necessary to get his opinion on something that you have to wear and love?  I mean, do you ask him about every single outfit you put on every day?  I doubt that.  Coming to an agreement about food and decor and who to invite is one thing, but attire should be your choice and yours alone.

  • I wouldn't want/allow him to actually pick my dress, because I'm going to be the one wearing it. Just relating this to the pea coat thing above :)

    I would love to see him in his Blues, but I imagine him saying "I hate them, they're so uncomfortable, let's leave the Navy out of this, blah blah", which is all fine and good. He's going to be the one wearing whatever it is that he ends up wearing.
  • I decided that I didn't want to know his opinion because I know what fits on my body-type and would have hated know he liked something like a mermaid style dress when in reality it looks horrid on me. It would have been disappointing for both of us, and I know in the end when he sees me he'll love what I'm wearing any-hoo. 
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  • @birdybride2014‌ - he probably won't even be focusing on the dress that day, anyway :)
  • edited November 2014
    We watched a couple episodes of dress shows together and he surprisingly had a lot of opinions on the dresses. Ones that I thought were pretty he hated. That got me a little freaked out haha! Of course I knew he would adore whatever I chose but I wanted to get a better idea of what he liked in a dress. I was actually more curious than anything because I didn't really expect him to have such strong opinions on wedding dresses.

    I went through Davids Bridal website and picked about 8 dresses that I liked and showed those to him and had him tell me what he liked/didn't like about them. It was actually pretty fascinating.

    At the end of the day I didnt end up with any of the dresses I showed him but I know he will adore the one I chose because it had a couple of the elements that he really liked about the other ones. And of course the main detail being that I loved it.

    We're planning the wedding together, he's highly involved in everything so i thought it would be weird if he had no input on the dress! I thought it was a good compromise of the dress being a surprise but still knowing that he will love it! (Although I know that he would love anything I wore, Its nice to not have any of those lingering questions about whether or not he will like the dress)
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  • I'm very headstrong and I know what I like. So before I went shopping I told him "It's going to be this material because I find X kind hideous, and it's going to be this neckline because I find X kind gross and unflattering" and he said "ok whatever you want!". He's not a fashionable guy so I knew he wouldn't have an opinion but if for some crazy reason he did say he wanted X fabric that I hate, I'd have to say sorry- not happening.

                                                                     

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  • amelishaamelisha member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer Name Dropper
    edited November 2014
    beethery said: pearlluo said: Yes, I did ask him!He always said I have a poor ability to choose the perfect outfit for me.So he always give suggests on me when we go dress shopping!
    This is sad. You are perfectly capable of picking out your own clothing.

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    )

    I don't know if that's entirely fair. I know for me, I'm
    capable of picking out my own clothing, but I also know that my fiance doesn't like my taste much because I tend to cover myself completely from neck to toes and he'd rather see some of my skin sometimes. Day-to-day I wear whatever I'm comfortable in (all sweaters, all the time) but for special occasions I usually let him pick. He's thrilled to see me looking somewhat sexy for once and I can handle feeling kind of exposed once in a while. I'm happy to do it sometimes because it makes him really happy.

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  • atlastmrsgatlastmrsg member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    edited November 2014
    No, I did not ask his opinion. I picked out what I liked. Same with his tux. He picked out what he liked. 
    pearlluo said:
    Yes, I did ask him!He always said I have a poor ability to choose the perfect outfit for me.So he always give suggests on me when we go dress shopping!
    And this is sad. 
    Agree--sad for the most part. BUT....

    I always take my husband along for jeans shopping.  He picks way better jeans than I do.  Ones that are a hair tighter than I'd pick, so when I wear them in, they don't turn droopy.  And the saleswomen at Nordstrom tend to dote over him and bring him things like coffee or beer.  What can I say, he likes that junk in the trunk...  But wedding dress and jeans shopping are apples and oranges.

  • I didn't ask, he just told me certain things before I went shopping. He just hates ballgowns and he wanted me in something form-fitting.

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  • I did, but only because I'm indecisive and ask his opinion on everything, even if I have no intention of taking it. He did say he wanted a long gown (I was considering something cocktail or tea length). Since he didn't have any other preferences, I respected that and chose a long dress.
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