African American Weddings

New to Board--Vow Renewal

mrsdweavermrsdweaver member
5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
edited November 2014 in African American Weddings
Hey everyone! I am expecting to get some side eyes, but then again I am thinking I've been on the wrong boards all along (vow renewal and ceremony boards). After perusing the posts under this board and hearing what my family had to say about my situation, it seems a bit clear that things in the African American community are done differently than other cultures (that should've been obvious lol). So, my hubby and I tied the knot in June 2014 after 3 years of dating, BUT we had an extremely private ceremony (with just our pastor and his cousin); I didn't have a dress and we didn't take pictures. Of course we could've taken our time ot pay for the extravagant wedding but things came up that made the process speed up. 

Needless to say, our families were FUMING about not being a part of our union. So, we came up with the idea to actually go ahead and renew our vows June 2015 and have a big party with family and friends. Other boards on TK advise against renewing vows so early and even bash having a ceremony after marriage angrily! So I was like, well I need some help still because I WANT to do this. Is there anything wrong with it? Any thoughts on how to go about it, etc? Mostly everyone knows we're married (we didn't send marriage announcements but word-of-mouth in my family is just as good lol). I see this a lot in Black families so is it a culturally accepted thing or what? I'm just tired of getting beat up about wanting to celebrate with my family, while still being able to wear a nice wedding dress! What do I do here?

Re: New to Board--Vow Renewal

  • Hello mrsdweaver!
     Welcome to the best place on the knot.. the other ladies will be along soon to say hey!!
    but yea it was a mistake to go to those ladies on the other board  they prob told you.. its not right to have a PPD (their words..) oh well I think that is awesome and you are going to get to have the day you always wanted. in the world of the other boards on the knot they are going to tell you not to call it a wedding and do all of the things a "bride " would do (showers, bachelorette party, first dance, walking down the aisle, ect.) but hey its your day and life and there is nothing wrong with doing the day your way..

    smooches and welcome.. 

    Daisypath - (PNE7)
  • Hey @LeciaB!  That's exactly what was happening on other boards. Finally some understanding! So glad to be welcomed! :)
  • Hello - Welcome to the board!

  • Hi and welcome.  Please do go ahead and get your dress and celebrate next June with your hubby.  Call it a celebration of vows event.  It is NEVER a mistake in my book when it comes to celebration love and marriage.  Those who want to celebrate with you will be there.  Happy planning!



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    It can make you weak and strong simultaneously.  



  • As the other ladies have already said Welcome Welcome to the BEST board on TK... 

    The other ladies on them other boards always seem to feel as if they are the wedding police and you should do this or shouldnt do that.. My thing is do what makes you and your hubby happy, hell Mairah and Nick did a wedding every year for the beginning of their marriage and she had on a different dress each time and they had a honeymoon each time.. bump them other boards.. I had a small initmate ceremony but i had a big wedding shower and if i went to them to say that they wouldve called all the wedding gods to banish me from the kingdom.... SMH....

    Do you and if that means you want to be a bride again go ahead, its your pockets not theirs. And that honestly sounds like a great idea if you want to include your family and friends that way they can be there to witness Y NOT?!?!?  Congrats on your marriage and we hope to hear more from you... 

    Lilypie - H1jI


    Daisypath - MFL5



  • Thanks, everyone! I look forward to being a part of the best board on TK! :)
  • Welcome Welcome Welcome! 

    Stay away fromt he "Wedding Nazis"!

    Unless you are asking for donations do exactly what pleases you and hubby.

    :-)

     

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  • marsm4 said:

    Welcome Welcome Welcome! 

    Stay away fromt he "Wedding Nazis"!

    Unless you are asking for donations do exactly what pleases you and hubby.

    :-)

     

    This.  You're writing the checks, you call it whatever you want to.  And hey just to show you're a good sport send every one of those unnecessarily rude ass hateful heffas an invitation.  If I get to vote I would love for you to call it a rewedding, dedication, vow renewal and foreverness ceremony.   Bored bitches.
  • I am writing the checks! Y'all are so right. I wish I would've come here in the first place cuz they were really making me think i was doing it all wrong. Thanks y'all! :)
  • Welcome :) 
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  • Welcome to the board! this was done (kinda)! had our wedding here and then a vow renewel 3 days later in vegas. it was awesome.
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  • Well, sounds like I'm definitely going through with it all! I've begun the search for my dress...I know you all have said I'm writing the checks, but would it be too weird to have a bridal party at the vow renewal (a year after the wedding)? Y'all gotta remember I'm being deprogrammed from the "Wedding Nazis" who completely altered my views (since this is my first time). So are there no rules? I can just GO GO GO?!lol
  • I think its up to you.. if thats the vision you have for that day then why not.. However, if you want something a bit more intimate and without the whole wedding party then id say no. I initially wanted the big thing with a big wedding party and all but ended up with just us and our son. So the choice is really yours. Remember the wedding police would definitely say no no no but we say do what makes you happy.

    Lilypie - H1jI


    Daisypath - MFL5



  • Do what makes you  and your husband happy.  You will get so many different opinions, that it will be mind boggling.  
  • Welcome to the board........
  • Just Do You. You'll be happy and so will your family. My brother eloped with his wife and my mother was so sad. She kept trying to throw them a reception in the yard. You know our people like to celebrate :) lol
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