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Wedding Etiquette Forum
hanjoy
member
Is it rude not to have a cocktail hour?
We are doing a first look and all our photos before the ceremony. As soon as the ceremony is over guests will drive 3min to the reception space where they will be able to go to the bar and eat hor dourves until our arrival. Since we will have already done all the pictures we will arrive at the reception venue soon after guests. Is it rude to only have half an hour of hor dourves until the reception actually "starts" and dinner is served after and our introduction and first dance?
Also my shower was two weeks ago. I finished all the thank you cards the next day and put them in the mail the day after that. If you can find the time I found it was really helpful to write my thank you notes so quickly after since the emotions were still fresh from the day before!
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Re: Is it rude not to have a cocktail hour?
My DH and I didn't do a first look, but it was a small wedding with a small WP. The ceremony/reception were the same place and we did our pictures across the street in a park. Our pictures only took about 30 minutes and many of our guests walked over during some of that time to take their own pics.
We did have drinks/cocktails/fruit-veggie trays available for our guests during that time. Our food was buffet style and was available for our guests about the same time we walked back over to the reception. If I remember correctly, we walked through the reception area greeting everyone..another 15-20 minutes...and then he and I got our plates to "open", so to speak, the buffet.
I actually like cocktail hour. But that's mostly because I really love apps (and drinking) and it gives me a chance to catch up with people at other tables without dance music blaring overhead. However, I certainly wouldn't pout if it was only a half hour. The only thing that would get my goat is if you had a schedule listed out on a program and then you don't follow that schedule because you've already set my expectations (usually, this happens when people take too long with their pictures and cocktail hour becomes cocktail two hours though).
The only thing that might make me hesitate on the shorter cocktail hour (besides are you sure you don't want a little breather?) is what time all of this takes place. If the minimal cocktail hour means I'm actually eating dinner at 4:30, then maybe not. Otherwise, I think it's perfectly fine.
What would be rude would be for you to have any gap between them during which time the guests are not hosted. But since you are planning to go straight into the reception, you'll be fine. It's totally okay for you to start with a half hour of hors d'oeuvres and then start with dinner and the other festivities.
Basically, if you don't think the day will suffer without it, toss it.