People need to mind their own damn business

climbingsingle · November 2014

That is awful! Your poor friend.

The world is full of morons. One of my H's best friends (the guy that married us) married an Israeli woman last year. They decided to have the wedding in Israel since her parents still live there. When my H would tell people he was going to Israel for a wedding, they'd say, "Oh, you're Jewish?" Seriously. I heard at least 4 people say this to him.

msuprincess04 · November 2014

People are weird. Like every question is ok if it's not outwardly offensive.

DH is half Finnish and half Persian. When people ask where he's from, he aways says Finland, which people never expect, but that's where he was born and raised.

KatieinBkln · November 2014

People are just complete garbage.

The pure gall of thinking it's any of your business to know what someone's heritage is. The unbelievable entitlement of thinking that your "innocent curiosity" and "pure intentions" means you can word something however the fuck you want. It's so infuriating to me.

My dad is white (I mean, as far as we know, right? We aren't in the creepy business of tracking down our exact [complex] lineage for the sake of ensuring that we're like, totally, really really white) but he's dark, and has a Burt Reynolds-style mustache. I can't tell you the number of times (especially just after 9/11) we'd be in an airport and the whole family would go through, but then he'd be "randomly selected" for further search. Because anyone with a dark complexion and facial hair MUST be foreign/Muslim, and anyone Muslim MUST be a terrorist! Airtight logic, racists! A plus!

I'm sorry your niece had to hear that shit. I hope she unfriended that "friend" on Facebook and in real life.

LadyMillil · November 2014

Cookie Pusher said:

If I had a nickle for every time someone asked me "Where are you from?" and kept pressing when I said "New York City", I'd be a millionaire. I usually get the "No, where are you ORIGINALLY from" response from people a lot, and me being an American doesn't cut it.

I'm 7th generation Canadian. I've had this conversation so many times

"What are you?"

"Canadian"

"But what about your parents?"

"Canadian"

But your grandparents, what about them?"

"Canadian. Let me save you some time. 7 generations ago my ancestors left Britain for Canada. I think that makes me Canadian"

I don't mean to imply that new immigrants or earlier generations aren't Canadian. I just find it ridiculous that people want to know where you came from, like that is important.

goldchocobo.defunct635829490514903826 · November 2014

LadyMillil said:

Cookie Pusher said:

If I had a nickle for every time someone asked me "Where are you from?" and kept pressing when I said "New York City", I'd be a millionaire. I usually get the "No, where are you ORIGINALLY from" response from people a lot, and me being an American doesn't cut it.

I'm 7th generation Canadian. I've had this conversation so many times
"What are you?"
"Canadian"
"But what about your parents?"
"Canadian"
But your grandparents, what about them?"
"Canadian. Let me save you some time. 7 generations ago my ancestors left Britain for Canada. I think that makes me Canadian"

I don't mean to imply that new immigrants or earlier generations aren't Canadian. I just find it ridiculous that people want to know where you came from, like that is important.

I got this too from a doctor.

I am Canadian, but I guess if you look back far enough, I'm Scottish. If you look back even farther, we're all from Africa.

FutureMrsN3312 · November 2014

Ugh H gets this all the time. He's Italian and Lebanese. He had a coworker that would call him a terrorist. H (FI at the time) ignored it. Well the coworker made the mistake of calling him a terrorist in front of me. Boy was that a mistake. After I straightened him out he never said it again.

I'm Irish and Italian. Pale skin, blonde hair, blue eyes. H has olive skin, dark hair, brown eyes. I suppose if baby N looks like him I'll have to put up with this shit.

I feel like I should book mark this thread so I can use it to teach my kid how to deal with ignorant people.

QueerFemme · November 2014

People are so godawful ignorant. I have a latin last name since I got married, but I'm as white as can be. A lot of people say "sheesh. you don't LOOK or SOUND Mexican/hispanic! I would never have guessed"

I want to throat punch them.

lovegood90 · November 2014

Ugh, it never ceases to amaze me:

1) How rude and racist some people are

2) How people can spout their rude and racist remarks on social media

3) How people can defend their rude and racist remarks- also on social media!

Seriously, what is wrong with some people?

Not the same, but since we're telling anecdotes: My ancestry is half Italian, half German. I used to have a darker, olive skin tone and I remember one time in middle school someone asked my heritage and then said "haha you're a Nazi!" Like, I know kids are young and can say dumb things so hopefully they're not the same people going around saying "haha you're a terrorist" in their adult life!

CMGragain · November 2014

I posted my favorite line from the movie. Stripes, last week in another board.

" We're Americans, with a capital 'A', huh? You know what that means? Do ya? That means that our forefathers were kicked out of every decent country in the world. We are the wretched refuse. We're the underdog. We're mutts!"

alpacalunch · November 2014

LadyMillil said:

Cookie Pusher said:

If I had a nickle for every time someone asked me "Where are you from?" and kept pressing when I said "New York City", I'd be a millionaire. I usually get the "No, where are you ORIGINALLY from" response from people a lot, and me being an American doesn't cut it.

I'm 7th generation Canadian. I've had this conversation so many times
"What are you?"
"Canadian"
"But what about your parents?"
"Canadian"
But your grandparents, what about them?"
"Canadian. Let me save you some time. 7 generations ago my ancestors left Britain for Canada. I think that makes me Canadian"

I don't mean to imply that new immigrants or earlier generations aren't Canadian. I just find it ridiculous that people want to know where you came from, like that is important.

Ditto this. As far back as we can find, I'm Canadian on my mom's side, American on my dad's. And his family moved to Canada for a while (backed the wrong side of the American Revolution, oops). "No, but like really, where?" I'm a tiny bit First Nations, and then WASP. That's all I know. Never satisfies people.

WinstonsGirl · November 2014

People are idiots. I'm glad I only really hear about this third hand though. Never really hear anyone say it in person.

DH was born in Chile and lived there till he was about 10 or so before moving to Canada. His family is originally from Italy if you go back a few generations. When we got married, we had to check off our race on the form. Not sure why, but it was required. We didn't know if we should put him as Caucasian or Hispanic. He'd never thought about it. I was confused cos I though Hispanic was an ethno-linguistic group (which it is) versus a race. I can't remember what he eventually checked off since he's technically both.

sophhabobopha · November 2014

WinstonsGirl said:

People are idiots. I'm glad I only really hear about this third hand though. Never really hear anyone say it in person.

DH was born in Chile and lived there till he was about 10 or so before moving to Canada. His family is originally from Italy if you go back a few generations. When we got married, we had to check off our race on the form. Not sure why, but it was required. We didn't know if we should put him as Caucasian or Hispanic. He'd never thought about it. I was confused cos I though Hispanic was an ethno-linguistic group (which it is) versus a race. I can't remember what he eventually checked off since he's technically both.

There's usually a 'prefer not to answer'. I always check that.

WinstonsGirl · November 2014

There wasn't an option, otherwise we would have checked that. I didn't understand why they wanted the info.

wandajune6 · November 2014

QueerFemme said:
People are so godawful ignorant. I have a latin last name since I got married, but I'm as white as can be. A lot of people say "sheesh. you don't LOOK or SOUND Mexican/hispanic! I would never have guessed"

I want to throat punch them.

I have that too! It's bizarre. (I didn't change my name but don't correct people who call me by his name.)

I keep getting asked if I'm ok with the fact our kids won't look like me. That pisses me off too.

rooz103 · November 2014

I keep getting asked if I'm ok with the fact our kids won't look like me. That pisses me off too.

My jaw actually dropped. That's insanity--who thinks like that?

raissyrais · November 2014

wandajune6 said:

People are so godawful ignorant. I have a latin last name since I got married, but I'm as white as can be. A lot of people say "sheesh. you don't LOOK or SOUND Mexican/hispanic! I would never have guessed"

I want to throat punch them.
I have that too! It's bizarre. (I didn't change my name but don't correct people who call me by his name.) I keep getting asked if I'm ok with the fact our kids won't look like me. That pisses me off too.

That and "Oh but your English/French is so good!" or "But you're quite pale, aren't people from there like black?" Or when I tell people I'm from Mauritius and they don't know what it is they say "Bless you!". Mother fuckers, rude, ignorant racist pieces of shit.

novella1186 · November 2014

goldchocobo said:

LadyMillil said:

Cookie Pusher said:

If I had a nickle for every time someone asked me "Where are you from?" and kept pressing when I said "New York City", I'd be a millionaire. I usually get the "No, where are you ORIGINALLY from" response from people a lot, and me being an American doesn't cut it.

I'm 7th generation Canadian. I've had this conversation so many times
"What are you?"
"Canadian"
"But what about your parents?"
"Canadian"
But your grandparents, what about them?"
"Canadian. Let me save you some time. 7 generations ago my ancestors left Britain for Canada. I think that makes me Canadian"

I don't mean to imply that new immigrants or earlier generations aren't Canadian. I just find it ridiculous that people want to know where you came from, like that is important.

I got this too from a doctor.

I am Canadian, but I guess if you look back far enough, I'm Scottish. If you look back even farther, we're all from Africa.

That's the really stupid thing, too. My dad's side has only been here for 2 generations. But since I'm white I never get asked what I am or where I'm from. Yet we've been in this country far less time than some other people who constantly get hounded about where they're from just because they're a different ethnicity.

If you need to know where people are from you should be asking everybody. Cuz that American-looking white chick on the bus next to you? Should could open her mouth and have a big ole accent!

SBmini · November 2014

Ok on the lighter side of things, this reminds me of a funny story.

My husband once met a man, a friend of a friend. This guy was 6'5, blonde, buff, he basically looked like a Nordic God. He introduced himself by saying, "Thor Norgard, 4th generation American"

Yes, his name was Thor. And yes, he had been asked where he was from so many times that he added 4th gen American to his standard greeting.

wandajune6 · November 2014

rooz103 said:

I keep getting asked if I'm ok with the fact our kids won't look like me. That pisses me off too.

My jaw actually dropped. That's insanity--who thinks like that?

I've heard it quite a few times.

My niece looks just like a of my sister and me and gets lots of attention (toddler with bright red hair and big blue eyes) so I think people assume that I'll want a mini-me of my own.

Admittedly, DH and I joke to each other about how the kid won't look like me but it's awful when people ask me about it. DH tends to make a joke of the comments but I tend to be more aggressive.

hellosweetie1015 · November 2014

People are so stupid.

I don't get the "where are you from" comments based on looks - I get it everywhere whenever I speak. I have a southern accent if I'm not careful with my words, but I usually try not to. Alabamians can't place me, Northern people don't catch it much (I had a person on the subway in NYC tell me I didn't sound like I was from anywhere).

I think the next time someone asks, I'll tell them that I'm an emissary from the planet Hondlar, and I'm running experiments to determine whether or not it's worth it to capture the inhabitants of planet Earth or to just kill them outright when we invade in 2067.

abbyj700 · November 2014

People are idiots. Learn to have fun with it.

I have a coworker friend who is a Cambodian refugee. But she's been in the US since she was 4. She speaks better English than most US born adults with no accent what so ever. She gets odd questions ALL THE TIME.

The best ones were when she had her hair died blonde. We were in line at Chipotle and this lady actually had the balls to ask over the counter as she's getting her burrito bowl "What mix are you???" - and to have fun with stupid she responded "oh just chicken thanks." She knew exactly what the lady was asking.

Other favorite answer I now give when people ask "what flavor of asian is she???" - my response when she had blonde hair- "Unicorn."

[Deleted User] · November 2014

A friend went to Jamaica with the girls. One of the girls hooked up with a local. The next morning, she said, being her PC American self, "I've never slept with an African American before." He just looked at her like the idiot she was, put on his pants, and left.

[Deleted User] · November 2014

kns1988 · November 2014

My H is Asian (adopted at 18 months old) and I'm white. We get racist shit All. The. Time. Disgustingly racist comments questioning why we're together - it's infuriating.

But on a light note, his response to the "What are you?" question is Pennsylvania Dutch. I love it.

I also wonder about what kind of questions I'll get when we have kids... I better start prepping myself for it.

Chipmunk415 · November 2014

I've a friend who competes on American Ninja Warrior. She's first generation Chinese American. As I understand it, her parents met during her white father was stationed in Hong Kong. She married a white guy. Both have dark hair, she has dark eyes, olive complexion, her husband has light blue eyes, fair complexion.

First kid looks exactly like the white husband's sister. Straight down to the blonde hair, green eyes, and super pale skin. Second daughter looks like my friend's mother, dark hair, dark eyes, beautiful warm skin tone. These two look nothing like one another, but God help you if you make a comment about either of them or their mother in public- both children will happily chew you out for being so narrow minded. The fact that their mother has appeared on national tv at least 4 times now, and puts many athletes to shame, makes it funnier.

DH laughed the first time he saw a photo of my Dad. See, I look like my Dad spit me out of his mouth, but he didn't believe me. He met my mom, thought I resembled her. Then saw the photo of Dad...held it next to my face, and burst out laughing. The best reaction was by my Dad's best friend, who hadn't seen me in 20 years, and who baptized me as an infant. He stopped dead in his tracks and said "oh my word."

On the topic of accents...my father's grandparents and some aunts, uncles, and cousins came over on boats from Ireland in the late 1800s and early 1900s. Both my Dad and I are able to slip into an Irish accent when we so choose from interactions with these relatives.

Before meeting DH's family for the first time, he asked me to prank them and use my accent at dinner. (His family are big practical jokers). I agreed, since it was a non formal pizza and soda dinner at their house. Attending were DH, myself, FIL, SMIL, BIL, and brother in law's gf at the time. They loved my accent, and this worked for 20 minutes, until they asked where I am from. I dropped the Irish accent, and in my normal voice, said I was born in Miami, FL, but my folks were from MA and PA. Cue open jaws from FIL and SMIL, and BIL spitting coke all over the girlfriend. :-D I will still bust out the accent on occasion for them

JunTheSwan · November 2014

I'll come out of my perpetual lurking to post this:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?annotation_id=annotation_4170013669&feature=iv&src_vid=OQPidMflTW0&v=DWynJkN5HbQ

I was adopted from Korea as an infant so...yeah, kinda heard it all.

People need to mind their own damn business

Re: People need to mind their own damn business

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