A reason NOT to have an unplugged wedding

LadyMillil · August 2014

There have been a lot of brides posting lately that want to prevent their guests from taking photographs during their wedding, particularly during the ceremony. Thankfully, my husband and I did not tell our guests that they couldn't take photos during the ceremony.

Our photographer was a friend of a friend, and highly recommend by everyone I know that has had him do their wedding. Since our wedding he has gone out of business. I have contacted him using his business phone and email (nothing goes through), personal email and Facebook and gotten no response. Our contract stated that all pictures would be received within 12 weeks of our wedding. We got a few preview photos in the week after the wedding (less than 10, all First look pics) and have received no communication from him since then. DH and I are currently pursuing legal action to either have our deposit returned or to get the pictures. There is a very real chance that we will have NO WEDDING PHOTOS from our photographer.

Thankfully, our friends and family have been amazing. DH sent them an email about our situation and we have got close to 200 pictures from them - pictures of things like our first dance or us saying our vows, that I was worried I'd never see. If we had asked them not to take pictures we would not have any photos from our wedding.

artbyallie · August 2014

I'm sorry about your sucky photographer situation but yay that you got so many pictures from other people!

saacjw · August 2014

Yes! I have a co-worker who hired a photographer on the recommendation of a friend/some family members. She liked his portfolio, vetted him, etc, but her professional photos were SO BAD that she cried when she saw them. A bunch of her guests had wonderful photos that they sent her and those are the ones that have been framed and shared. Pics from guests can be amazing!

jdluvr06 · August 2014

FI and I had a lot of trouble finding a photographer we like so we just hired someone to do the groups shots and the ceremony. We are hoping people take a ton of pictures.

Jen4948 · August 2014

I'm sorry to hear you had this problem.

I agree that guests can take amazing photos.

indianaalum · August 2014

I have ANOTHER reason, too

My husband did not want to pay for a videographer. Instead we relied on a family member to video tape the ceremony (I know I know..bad idea..but he wouldnt budge) and then we found out she forgot to hit "record" until half way through the ceremony.

Luckily, I have several family members who love their ipad who DID record it. Had I had a "unplugged" wedding, I would have had no video.

I don't understand "unplugged" weddings. People care about you and ALSO want a record of the day. I think it is selfish to tell them "no" thus forcing them to spend money on professinal pics if they want a record of the event themselves

Simply Fated · August 2014

I'm so sorry this is happening to you. Hopefully you nail the guy.

My friend hired a fairly reputable photggraphy company for her pictures. Her Fi's family had used them before. The photographer who was assigned to their wedding came and did beautiful engagement photos (as a trial run) and they were very happy. Well, as the wedding date approached, the photographer that was assigned to them wasn't able to make it. So, they had a different one. They figured, how bad can they be, since all the other experienced with the company's photographers have been great. Well, he was pretty awful. All the best pictures, by far, came from friends and family. Had she asked her guests to unplug their gear, she would have been stuck with crap.

themosthappy91 · August 2014

How awful! I truly hope you at the very least get your money back, though I know that the value of having those memories preserved probably goes far beyond their financial "worth". Best of luck!

mysticl · August 2014

The pictures from our professional photographer aren't any better than those done by the guests and in some cases they aren't as good. One of DH's relatives took a ton a pictures and then put them on a CD for us. It was nicer than what we got from the pro.

climbingsingle · August 2014

I'm sorry your photographer is screwing you. I hope you're able to get your pictures.

sarahufl · August 2014

So far, my favorite wedding photo is one my friend posted on Instagram. I look at it every day (it's only been a few weeks!).

photokitty · August 2014

Oh no!! Hopefully you'll at least get the raw images since it won't cost the photog anything to give them to you and he already shot the wedding. That sucks!

GL!

novella1186 · August 2014

I like when guests take photos cuz you get multiple vantage points, and a pro can only be in 1 place at 1 time, so guests can catch really special moments that the pro totally missed. I have a few professional photographers in my family who I know will take photos at my wedding whether I ask them to or not (I will not ask them to because I don't want them to feel like they're obligated to "work" but you better believe I will not ask them not to either!) I would be glad to see other photos besides the ones our vendor takes.

lmcooper86 · August 2014

Ugh, I am so sorry to hear that! I hope you're able to get your photos eventually

Another argument for not "unplugging": It can take weeks to get your wedding photos (I think my contract says 4 weeks), so having family and friends post a few on Instagram or Facebook would let you at least see something while you're waiting!

pinkcow13 · August 2014

I don't get the unplugged wedding thing. I have never seen someone interrupt the ceremony, or get in anyone's way while taking their own personal pics. I would love to have our family and friends take more candid shots, and I know I will stalk FB afterwards to see what pics are up the next day while I wait on the professional shots. I hope you guys get your pics from this creep!

wrigleyville · August 2014

We didn't hire a videographer, so imagine my surprise and happiness when my brother told me he had recorded the entire ceremony on his phone. He also took some video at the reception. I'm really glad, because the entire ceremony was a blur, and this way, I got to see everyone's expression as I walked down the aisle (I was focused on H, reminding myself to keep my bouquet straight, and trying not to trip - like hell I was looking at anyone on the way up there).

Many of my favorite pictures were taken by guests. We didn't have a second photographer, so while our photographer was getting a lot of the main shots, guests filled in some of the secondaries. For example, our photographer stood on the altar so he could capture our first kiss with all of our guests smiling and clapping behind us. That meant we didn't have the typical shot from the guests' perspective. My guests took a TON of photos of our first kiss, though, so I was able to sort through those and pick a few favorites. My uncle took the one we ended up framing.

goldchocobo.defunct635829490514903826 · August 2014

OMG that's awful. I'm so sorry you have to go through this. But I am so glad you have photos from guests! I hope this guy is brought to legal recourse. (I think that's the right word I am looking for...)

I don't understand unplugged weddings as well. My FI's grandfather has a really nice Nikon, and enjoys taking it to events. I figure he will probably take it and try to get a few nice photos (hopefully none of my chest...). A have a friend that's addicted to her phone and I could care less if she takes pictures with it (or tags me the day after). I mean, no one can be everywhere at once, so why not grab a pic or two? Just don't post and tag me before I get to!

QueerFemme · August 2014

We had a photographer and a second shooter. Our photographer's camera jammed during "the kiss", but luckily, our second shooter got a photo of it. But, my 100% favorite photo is from a guest.

This was right after we got "announced" and we were both so excited. I am so glad I didn't miss out on this photo.

mim29 · November 2014

I totally get your perspectives on the non-unplugged wedding thing. Sometimes your favorite pictures come from your family and friends! I thought this was an interesting read though... (see the link below). While I know I'll be looking at my fiancé and the officiant most of the time, personally I would rather look out to my friends and family than their cell phones, and see pictures of their faces rather than their mobile devices - at least during the ceremony. As a guest it can sometimes be distracting and make it hard to see the couple you came to celebrate. The point she makes about flashes, red lights, and guests with cameras in the background of what would otherwise be a great shot I think has something to it though... Remember too that many churches have strict policies about photography/where and when it can take place. It is helpful to the couple and the photographer(s) to respect their wishes. Obviously some of you had extreme circumstances and were very lucky to have had the opposite happen, but its just something to think about when attending other weddings or your own

http://lover.ly/planning/photo-video/these-ruined-photos-will-make-you-want-to-have-an-unplugged-wedding/16818/

beethery · November 2014

mim29 said:

I totally get your perspectives on the non-unplugged wedding thing. Sometimes your favorite pictures come from your family and friends! I thought this was an interesting read though... (see the link below). While I know I'll be looking at my fiancé and the officiant most of the time, personally I would rather look out to my friends and family than their cell phones, and see pictures of their faces rather than their mobile devices - at least during the ceremony. As a guest it can sometimes be distracting and make it hard to see the couple you came to celebrate. The point she makes about flashes, red lights, and guests with cameras in the background of what would otherwise be a great shot I think has something to it though... Remember too that many churches have strict policies about photography/where and when it can take place. It is helpful to the couple and the photographer(s) to respect their wishes. Obviously some of you had extreme circumstances and were very lucky to have had the opposite happen, but its just something to think about when attending other weddings or your own
http://lover.ly/planning/photo-video/these-ruined-photos-will-make-you-want-to-have-an-unplugged-wedding/16818/

@mim29 we've talked about Corey Ann and her really sad excuses for not getting the shot a million times. She could do better.

mim29 · November 2014

Some people don't get talented or satisfactory photographers. The issue with flashes and guests interrupting photographs is something that guests can avoid/be mindful of though. They end up paying more attention to their phones than your ceremony and its significance.

beethery · November 2014

mim29 said:

Some people don't get talented or satisfactory photographers. The issue with flashes and guests interrupting photographs is something that guests can avoid/be mindful of though. They end up paying more attention to their phones than your ceremony and its significance.

@mim29 If the couple did not research their photographer well enough to get one that is talented and can do their job correctly, that fault lies on the couple.

Also, if a guest acts like an asshole, no sign, warning, or lightning strike from the sky is going to prevent them from being that way.

mim29 · November 2014

Lol now I remember that I've read comments from you before. I have noticed you like to be confrontational rather than consider both sides to a story. You also don't always appreciate other people's ideas of decorum. That is your right. Guests are going to do what they're going to do, there is no foolproof way of getting around something like this completely. I just don't think it's an "unreasonable" request. As many have said on here they *thought* they were getting great photographers, and it turns out they were less than satisfactory. I don't know that the blame can be placed entirely on all photographers though. Personally I would never pull out a cell phone or camera during a friend or family member's ceremony, nor stand front row center for the first dance(s)/cake cuttings with one. That is just me though, unpopular opinion doesn't make it wrong

theartistformerlyknownas · November 2014

mim29 said:

Lol now I remember that I've read comments from you before. I have noticed you like to be confrontational rather than consider both sides to a story. You also don't always appreciate other people's ideas of decorum. That is your right. Guests are going to do what they're going to do, there is no foolproof way of getting around something like this completely. I just don't think it's an "unreasonable" request. As many have said on here they *thought* they were getting great photographers, and it turns out they were less than satisfactory. I don't know that the blame can be placed entirely on all photographers though. Personally I would never pull out a cell phone or camera during a friend or family member's ceremony, nor stand front row center for the first dance(s)/cake cuttings with one. That is just me though, unpopular opinion doesn't make it wrong

Most people don't have patience for people who come in here not having read a DAMN THING that's already been discussed ad nauseum, and throw the same damn thing out as if it's breaking news. We like it even less when you try to insult our friends, FYI.

That article is bunk. She's a crappy photographer. Nobody should be rude to their guests in order to make up for having a bad photographer, and YES, asking people point-blank to maintain common courtesy IS RUDE. You wouldn't ask people to make sure they take a shower that day because it's common courtesy that they show up bathed. And in fact, if you do hire a crappy photographer, asking people to NOT take pictures will only hurt you even more when you finally get your pics back 3 months later and they suck.

JellyBean52513 · November 2014

mim29 said:

Lol now I remember that I've read comments from you before. I have noticed you like to be confrontational rather than consider both sides to a story. You also don't always appreciate other people's ideas of decorum. That is your right. Guests are going to do what they're going to do, there is no foolproof way of getting around something like this completely. I just don't think it's an "unreasonable" request. As many have said on here they *thought* they were getting great photographers, and it turns out they were less than satisfactory. I don't know that the blame can be placed entirely on all photographers though. Personally I would never pull out a cell phone or camera during a friend or family member's ceremony, nor stand front row center for the first dance(s)/cake cuttings with one. That is just me though, unpopular opinion doesn't make it wrong

The issue that most of us here have is not that the request itself is unreasonable, but rather the intent behind it:

- A good photographer will know what to do, and little iphone camera flashes are not going to affect their work-- how do you think celebrities get photographed on the red carpet, or someone speaking during a press conference?? There, you're talking about a bunch of LEGIT camera flashes going off all at once! The job still gets done, because the photographer knows what they're doing. That article you posted is the opposite of an athletes highlight reel, where only the best examples of that athlete's performance are shown to demonstrate the absolutely highest level of his skill. With Corey Ann, she compiled all of the absolute worst shots in her reel just to get her point across. If those were truly the ONLY shots she got, then she really is a shitty photographer.

- Insisting that you want guests to enjoy "the moment" rather than be on their phones means that you've essentially invited people that you don't think truly want to be there. Why would a person even RSVP to your wedding unless they actually, really wanted to be there and enjoy the day with you?? Taking pictures or video on their phones or personal camera during the day is NOT an indication that they aren't enjoying it, and it's honestly a bit insulting to assume that your guests can only enjoy the day by behaving one way and one way only.

Privacy reasons/not wanting the world to see details of your wedding before you share them yourself are the only legitimate concerns I can see, but even still, you should then be more mindful when compiling your guest list and make sure you invite only people that know you are particularly private.

At the end of the day, telling grown adults what to do is just not polite and it's not a good idea.

beethery · November 2014

mim29 said:

Lol now I remember that I've read comments from you before. I have noticed you like to be confrontational rather than consider both sides to a story. You also don't always appreciate other people's ideas of decorum. That is your right. Guests are going to do what they're going to do, there is no foolproof way of getting around something like this completely. I just don't think it's an "unreasonable" request. As many have said on here they *thought* they were getting great photographers, and it turns out they were less than satisfactory. I don't know that the blame can be placed entirely on all photographers though. Personally I would never pull out a cell phone or camera during a friend or family member's ceremony, nor stand front row center for the first dance(s)/cake cuttings with one. That is just me though, unpopular opinion doesn't make it wrong

You need to use paragraphs. Seriously.

I get confrontational with people who aren't big thinkers. Corey Ann's stupid ass is still touting herself as award-winning when she can't get the damn shot at a wedding she was PAID to cover. That shit is Corey Ann's fault. Corey Ann sucks.

If you want to fall into the same category with Corey Ann, be my guest.

For the record, I don't take pictures/videos during wedding ceremonies or really anything at the reception unless something hilarious/awesome is happening. I don't need to because I'm not a professional photographer and my iPhone shot I'm probably not going to look at again is not worth digging my phone out of my purse.

I don't think people need to be told not to do this shit, especially when the person who brings some wild ass magnesium flash to the party is more than likely the same asshole who hears "do not take pictures" and is like LOL IM GOING TO TAKE PICTURES YOU CAN'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO.

I know this because that is my FFIL.

mim29 · November 2014

I have no idea what FFIL is because I don't care enough? But go ahead, do your thing and keep bashing everyone's opinion but your own.

beethery · November 2014

mim29 said:

I have no idea what FFIL is because I don't care enough? But go ahead, do your thing and keep bashing everyone's opinion but your own.

Welcome to The Knot. Here are some abbreviations we use:

FI: Fiance/Fiancee

FMIL: Future Mother-In-Law

FFIL: Future Father-In-Law

so on, so forth.

Everyone is entitled to their opinion, even if it's wrong. You can continue being wrong and not reading the whole thread or noticing, "Hey, Corey Ann is not actually that fucking great if she can't get the shot. Weird!"

I mean, if Corey Ann is doing your wedding... my apologies in advance. I hope everyone wears lots of eyeliner and contouring makeup so that their faces can be made out in her terrible pictures.

misshart00 · November 2014

I always think its funny when people find zombie (semi-zombie) threads just to argue with. Especially when there's a thread about this same thing on this page.

PrettyGirlLost · November 2014

mim29 said:

Lol now I remember that I've read comments from you before. I have noticed you like to be confrontational rather than consider both sides to a story. You also don't always appreciate other people's ideas of decorum. That is your right. Guests are going to do what they're going to do, there is no foolproof way of getting around something like this completely. I just don't think it's an "unreasonable" request. As many have said on here they *thought* they were getting great photographers, and it turns out they were less than satisfactory. I don't know that the blame can be placed entirely on all photographers though. Personally I would never pull out a cell phone or camera during a friend or family member's ceremony, nor stand front row center for the first dance(s)/cake cuttings with one. That is just me though, unpopular opinion doesn't make it wrong

No, opinions can absolutely be wrong. If someone posted that they thought, in their opinion, the sky was green. . . well, they'd be wrong.

Here's the "other side" of the story that I think you should consider: http://blog.craigmitchelldyer.com/2013/05/30/unplugged-wedding-no-way-plug-in/

An excerpt for you:

"When talking unplugged weddings, as a client, I’d be annoyed if anyone tried to tell me I couldn’t snap some photos on my phone at a friend or family members wedding. Even more so if the photographer – who as much as we like to think we are so very important, the fact is we are simply a vendor at the event – told me to move out of the way or to stop taking photos. I could NEVER imagine telling someone to do that. Ever.

It is our job as photographers to get the image no matter what. Someone steps in our way? Move.

Flash from a camera messing up your photo, well, that’s why my camera shoots 8 frames a second. I’ll have 7 other images to choose from – like this one where the audience flash made the photo look even better – and chances are, my flashes will screw up their images more than the other way around. I feel bad about that! During the ceremony, for the most part, the guests can’t move. I can. I can find another angle, I can move to the right or left I can kneel down or stand high, I have many options at my disposal to capture the images I am being paid (a lot of money) to capture. That is my job. It is my job as a photojournalist to read body language and know when someone is going to step in front of me. It is my job to know where the “action” is. It is my job to capture every moment as it happens and I don’t mind one bit if 100 other people are doing the same."

If your photographer is suggesting this unplugged wedding tripe, then find a new photographer. . . one that actually knows how to do their job.

theartistformerlyknownas · November 2014

mim29 said:

I have no idea what FFIL is because I don't care enough? But go ahead, do your thing and keep bashing everyone's opinion but your own.

I have no idea why you're using question marks where periods should go.

A reason NOT to have an unplugged wedding

Re: A reason NOT to have an unplugged wedding

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