DIY Invitations – seeking opinions!!

BlueRC · November 2014

I am finally feeling relieved. After months and months of editing and changing, posting, receiving feedback, more editing, etc. – I feel happy and excited about our invites! (Please ignore the dots around the page border, I was using them as guides but my printer wasn't printing straight.)

I would like another set of eyes before I send them to be printed! Tell me what you think. Should I change anything? Do I have any spelling/grammar errors?

CMGragain · November 2014

The invitation looks good, except it should be "half after two o'clock".

Reception - where do I start? Your ceremony is at 2:30 and your reception starts at 6:00PM? What are your guests supposed to do in between? This is a very rude gap. Your reception should start around 4:00 PM with a cocktail hour, and then continue with dinner.
The first paragraph should not be on the reception card at all. You never describe the entertainment and food (dinner and dancing) on the reception card, as if you guests won't come if it isn't good enough. As it is, unlesss you change your timing, I think you will have some guests not show up to one or the other event.
RSVP - I would not include "with pleasure" or "with regret". It is presumptive. What is with the "Want to save on a stamp?" You ARE sending response envelopes that have postage on them already, aren't you? To not do this is rude.

Your invitations really look very nice. It is you plans and timing that needs to change.

BlueRC · November 2014

The times are out of my control - definitely not trying to be rude to my guest. Guess you never heard of the Catholic gap?

However, the ceremony time is changing, I hope! I was originally told we could have a later mass, then after we signed the contract for the reception venue we were told we could only do 2:30, now I am finding out we can do whatever time we want. We meet with the priest on Saturday so I am hoping the most recent information is correct and I can have a later start time. If not, it is what it is at this point.

I have seen several reception cards with this information on there which was why I included it, what would you write instead?

I was looking for different wording for the RSVP, what do you suggest?

As far as the stamp, I will be including a stamp with an envelope but if they prefer to RSVP online then I am giving them that option too. I would rather people RSVP online but I know some people don't like to do anything online.

CMGragain · November 2014

RSVP before April 24, 2015

M_________________________

__Accepts

__Declines

You may also send a reply to http://www.ourwebsite.

Being Catholic is no excuse for being rude to your guests. The church will tell you that you plan your ceremony FIRST, and then plan your reception to coincide with it. As I said, you should move your reception to an earlier time.

BlueRC · November 2014

Thanks for the wording advice. I didn't ask for advice on times as reception time is locked in and ceremony time is tentative. No need for the rudeness.

doeydo · November 2014

BlueRC said:

Thanks for the wording advice. I didn't ask for advice on times as reception time is locked in and ceremony time is tentative. No need for the rudeness.

Right, no need for rudeness, so why are you being rude to your guests, who are presumably your friends and family? There are lots of Catholic brides and married women on here that have worked it so there is no gap.

BlueRC · November 2014

The point of my post was for grammar or spelling errors. If you would have read my post, the ceremony time is tentative pending our meeting tomorrow. You don't know the situation.

Thanks for jumping down the op throat and not offering opinion based on the spelling or grammar.

Unknown · November 2014

This content has been removed.

CMGragain · November 2014

OP, I have many relatives who are Catholic. They did not have what you call "the Catholic gap" at their weddings. I see no reason for you to use your religion as an excuse to be rude to your guests.

doeydo · November 2014

BlueRC said:

The point of my post was for grammar or spelling errors. If you would have read my post, the ceremony time is tentative pending our meeting tomorrow. You don't know the situation. Thanks for jumping down the op throat and not offering opinion based on the spelling or grammar.

I agree with everything CMGragain already gave you for spelling, grammar, and proper invite wording. IMO, she's the best on this board for giving advice about this kind of thing so I saw no need to give you further spelling, etc. opinions.

ohannabelle · November 2014

"I would like another set of eyes before I send them to be printed! Tell me what you think. Should I change anything? Do I have any spelling/grammar errors?"

Well, I think all the previous posters caught everything, especially the huge etiquette error you were about to commit with the unhosted gap. My relatives are Catholic, as well. They don't have gaps. They simply have earlier receptions.

When someone helps you by stopping you from making a huge blunder, the correct response is "thank you, I had no idea," or something like.

Not a surly "thanks for jumping down my throat," or "that wasn't what I asked."

You're welcome.

MairePoppy · November 2014

I grew up in a Catholic family. None of them had gaps. Every single reception took place immediately after each wedding mass. No exceptions, even if it meant having a 4 course dinner at 3p.m.

No one jumped down your throat.

BlueRC · November 2014

I have been to plenty of Catholic weddings and everyone of them had gaps. As I mentioned before my ceremony time was not set in stone. My ceremony start time is 4 pm. I needed another set of eyes for grammar and spelling.

Thanks ladies!

doeydo · November 2014

BlueRC said:

I have been to plenty of Catholic weddings and everyone of them had gaps. As I mentioned before my ceremony time was not set in stone. My ceremony start time is 4 pm. I needed another set of eyes for grammar and spelling. Thanks ladies!

Just because some people do it doesn't make it right. Ei. lots of people slam the door behind them into another person's face, where the right and polite thing to do would be wait one second and hold it for the other person.

ETA so you fixed it so there isn't a gap? Thank you for listening to the advice from these ladies.

faithdevilsbee · November 2014

She didn't take your advice, her first post after the OP indicates she originally was told the time was set but then found out she could change it and was meeting with someone Saturday (yesterday) to figure out the time frame. She had this intention all along.

Also, OP, I do agree to change the wording about saving the stamp for them to RSVP online since I imagine you would be including the stamp already. Like someone else said, just indicate that RSVPs may also be completed online at your website.

MobKaz · November 2014

BlueRC said:

The times are out of my control - definitely not trying to be rude to my guest. Guess you never heard of the Catholic gap?

However, the ceremony time is changing, I hope! I was originally told we could have a later mass, then after we signed the contract for the reception venue we were told we could only do 2:30, now I am finding out we can do whatever time we want. We meet with the priest on Saturday so I am hoping the most recent information is correct and I can have a later start time. If not, it is what it is at this point.

I have seen several reception cards with this information on there which was why I included it, what would you write instead?

I was looking for different wording for the RSVP, what do you suggest?

As far as the stamp, I will be including a stamp with an envelope but if they prefer to RSVP online then I am giving them that option too. I would rather people RSVP online but I know some people don't like to do anything online.

There is NO such thing as a Catholic gap. What does exist, however, are rude hosts that put the blame elsewhere for their own improper etiquette. If you are going to be rude, the least you can do is OWN it.

My daughter had a full Catholic nuptial mass and NO gap.

Coreyq22 · November 2014

I have been to a wedding with a gap but the reception site was pretty far from the church - that could be the case? I think every bride has their own way of doing things and sometimes etiquette is accidentally pushed to the side. Maybe the reception location is a place where guests could hang out before the official cocktail hour starts. And maybe she could use the gap to take photos I know most couples/bridal parties completely miss cocktail hour and then some taking photos (which I had no idea haha I am hoping to not miss cocktail hour and be hangry) Plus weddings always (more often than not) start later than intended or at least that's been my experience

wrigleyville · November 2014

Coreyq22 said:

I have been to a wedding with a gap but the reception site was pretty far from the church - that could be the case? I think every bride has their own way of doing things and sometimes etiquette is accidentally pushed to the side. Maybe the reception location is a place where guests could hang out before the official cocktail hour starts. And maybe she could use the gap to take photos I know most couples/bridal parties completely miss cocktail hour and then some taking photos (which I had no idea haha I am hoping to not miss cocktail hour and be hangry) Plus weddings always (more often than not) start later than intended or at least that's been my experience

Weddings start late due to poor planning. It's rude to start late. Just because it's the norm doesn't mean it's okay.

The entire point of a cocktail hour is to give the bride and groom time to have pictures taken. The bride and groom do not attend the cocktail hour. It's something for your guests to do while waiting for you to show up. Once you show up, dinner starts ASAP, so you wouldn't be "hangry". If you're concerned about getting hungry, make sure you eat before your ceremony.

redoryx · November 2014

Coreyq22 said:

I have been to a wedding with a gap but the reception site was pretty far from the church - that could be the case? I think every bride has their own way of doing things and sometimes etiquette is accidentally pushed to the side. Maybe the reception location is a place where guests could hang out before the official cocktail hour starts. And maybe she could use the gap to take photos I know most couples/bridal parties completely miss cocktail hour and then some taking photos (which I had no idea haha I am hoping to not miss cocktail hour and be hangry) Plus weddings always (more often than not) start later than intended or at least that's been my experience

Travel time is not the same as a gap. A gap is literally where there is NOTHING planned for the guests and they are just sitting around waiting for the next thing to start, be it cocktail hour or reception. Guests shouldn't have to "hang out" at any point during the wedding day, that's why gaps are rude.

Most wedding parties miss cocktail hour because, as Wrigleyville pointed out, the point of a cocktail hour is to solve a gap issue by giving the guests somewhere to go while the couple takes photos. The couple getting married aren't really expected to be there, unless their photos don't take as long as the time allotted.

mrsk616 · November 2014

Every wedding i have been to has had a gap in between ceremony and reception. that way the wedding party could take their pictures. OP everything looks good to me just ignore what everyone else says about the times. and do what you want

Jen4948 · November 2014

jalem616 said:

Every wedding i have been to has had a gap in between ceremony and reception. that way the wedding party could take their pictures. OP everything looks good to me just ignore what everyone else says about the times. and do what you want

OP, "Do what you want" and "just ignore what everyone says about the times" is incredible rudeness and astoundingly inconsiderate of your guests. DO NOT DO THE BOLDED.

Maggie0829 · November 2014

jalem616 said:

Every wedding i have been to has had a gap in between ceremony and reception. that way the wedding party could take their pictures. OP everything looks good to me just ignore what everyone else says about the times. and do what you want

This is what a cocktail hour for. If you attended a cocktail hour while the couple was getting pictures taken then no, you have not attended a wedding with a gap. What you did attend was a wedding that was planned properly. Now if you had to sit around and twiddle your thumbs at some rando bar down the street while the couple took pictures, then that would be a wedding with a gap.

esstee33 · November 2014

jalem616 said: Every wedding i have been to has had a gap in between ceremony and reception. that way the wedding party could take their pictures. OP everything looks good to me just ignore what everyone else says about the times. and do what you want Stop with the shitty advice, please. The wedding party can take pictures while the guests are at a hosted cocktail hour. It's never OK to make your guests just sit around and twiddle their thumbs while waiting for the next thing to start.

fwtx5815 · November 2014

First order of business should be to fix your plans. It's incredibly impolite to have an unhosted gap (which is what you have). And a HOSTED gap like a cocktail hour should not exceed an hour.

Second:
I believe the room block wording should read- a room block has been reserved, not have. The block is singular. (Correct me if I'm wrong yall)

mrsk616 · November 2014

i understand it may be rude to have a gap but in some areas its the norm. in northeast ohio its a norm because every wedding i have gone to the reception started at 6 and ceremony was at 3 or 3:30. the only time there is not a gap that i know of is if the venues are 2-3 hours away, then yes the gap is rude.

ohannabelle · November 2014

jalem616 said: i understand it may be rude to have a gap but in some areas its the norm. in northeast ohio its a norm because every wedding i have gone to the reception started at 6 and ceremony was at 3 or 3:30. the only time there is not a gap that i know of is if the venues are 2-3 hours away, then yes the gap is rude.
SIB
No, it's always rude. It may be "the norm" in small groups of people who mistakenly think it's acceptable because they've seen other people do it, but it's always wrong.

I have a teenage son. He and his friends think it's hilarious to belch really loudly. It doesn't bother them, and it's "the norm" in their circle of friends. Guess what? Not even vaguely okay. It doesn't change the rule of etiquette regarding belching in public.

Northeast Ohio operates under the same rules of etiquette as the rest of the country.

southernbelle0915 · November 2014

jalem616 said:

i understand it may be rude to have a gap but in some areas its the norm. in northeast ohio its a norm because every wedding i have gone to the reception started at 6 and ceremony was at 3 or 3:30. the only time there is not a gap that i know of is if the venues are 2-3 hours away, then yes the gap is rude.

I have seen people do rude things too. It doesn't mean I'm like "oh, it must be ok."

You know what's common in my extended family? Cash bars. You know what's rude? Cash bars. You know what I didn't have at my wedding because common does not equal ok? A cash bar.

CMGragain · November 2014

If your friends all decided to jump off a cliff, would you jump off, too?

LondonLisa · November 2014

BlueRC said:

The point of my post was for grammar or spelling errors. If you would have read my post, the ceremony time is tentative pending our meeting tomorrow. You don't know the situation. Thanks for jumping down the op throat and not offering opinion based on the spelling or grammar.

If your ceremony time is tentative, move it up to 4:30 for a 6pm reception.

I have been to plenty of Catholic weddings, including one in Notre Dame Cathedral in Paris, and never, ever have had to suffer a gap! Don't be so rude to your guests!

Maggie0829 · November 2014

jalem616 said:

i understand it may be rude to have a gap but in some areas its the norm. in northeast ohio its a norm because every wedding i have gone to the reception started at 6 and ceremony was at 3 or 3:30. the only time there is not a gap that i know of is if the venues are 2-3 hours away, then yes the gap is rude.

It is also the norm for one of my friends to chew with his mouth open and hack up loogies. That doesn't mean that it isn't rude or completely disgusting.

Just because something is the norm does not make it okay. It just means that there are a bunch or rude or unaware/bad planners in your area.

redoryx · November 2014

jalem616 said:

i understand it may be rude to have a gap but in some areas its the norm. in northeast ohio its a norm because every wedding i have gone to the reception started at 6 and ceremony was at 3 or 3:30. the only time there is not a gap that i know of is if the venues are 2-3 hours away, then yes the gap is rude.

I live in Northeast Ohio and have attended plenty of weddings without a gap so please don't speak for our entire region. While they might be normal in your experience that doesn't make them any less rude.

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