Church and an Outdoor Wedding?

Re: Church and an Outdoor Wedding?

• AddieCake member

  

  November 2014

  Knottie07518511 said:

  It's very important that my fiancee and I are married in a catholic church. A catholic priest will only marry us in a church and it's very hard to convince him and the bishop to marry us outside the church. it would be important to me and my family that I stay with Catholic tradition. But we also have dreamed of an outdoor wedding and found a beautiful venue for that. We were thinking of doing a small intimate church wedding in the evening before the wedding for those that wanted to be a part of it (maybe no bridal or grooms parties to make it simple) and then do the rehearsal dinner and the next day have our outdoor wedding for all of our family and friends with the big reception afterwards.  Has anyone done this before? What would I wear to the church wedding? I know it has to be appropriate for church but I don't want it to be the same dress I wear for the outdoor wedding. I want the church dress to be simple and respectful and the outdoor one to be "the first look" kind of dress that wows me. I would love to hear that someone else had to go through this too! 

  
  This is so inappropriate. You either care more about a Catholic wedding or more about an outdoor wedding. Which is it? If I were Catholic, I think this kind of thing would really offend me.

  What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14

  

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• redheadbride15 member

  

  November 2014

  Church ceremony followed by an outdoor reception across town? People can drive or you can provide transportation for your guests. I've been to many weddings that have the ceremony and reception in different locations.
  
  I also thought about having a small, separate ceremony on a different day from the big reception but when I talked to some of my guests about this idea they seemed very disappointed that they would not be able to witness the exchange of vows - that this was a really important part of the wedding for them. So you may want to take that into consideration.
  
  As for the dress, have you looked into the possibility of using a "wow first look" type of dress that can be covered up somewhat for the church? There are many options that have add-on jackets, necklines, or sheaths. I suppose you could get two dresses... but it may not be necessary.
  

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• MobKaz member

  

  November 2014

  Knottie07518511 said:

  It's very important that my fiancee and I are married in a catholic church. A catholic priest will only marry us in a church and it's very hard to convince him and the bishop to marry us outside the church. it would be important to me and my family that I stay with Catholic tradition. But we also have dreamed of an outdoor wedding and found a beautiful venue for that. We were thinking of doing a small intimate church wedding in the evening before the wedding for those that wanted to be a part of it (maybe no bridal or grooms parties to make it simple) and then do the rehearsal dinner and the next day have our outdoor wedding for all of our family and friends with the big reception afterwards.  Has anyone done this before? What would I wear to the church wedding? I know it has to be appropriate for church but I don't want it to be the same dress I wear for the outdoor wedding. I want the church dress to be simple and respectful and the outdoor one to be "the first look" kind of dress that wows me. I would love to hear that someone else had to go through this too! 

  Clearly, if your church is unwilling to rewrite their dogma to accommodate you and your FI, I suggest you find a new church. 
  
  You need to decide if a dream or your faith is more important.  @AddieCake is correct.  Prioritizing a venue first over a sacrament is offensive.  You also would no longer require a rehearsal dinner, because there would no longer be anything for which to rehearse. 
  

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• southernbelle0915 mod

  

  November 2014

  OP - when you post to more than one board, you should write "XP" in the title of your post. I responded to you in Outdoor Weddings...

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• holyguacamole79 member

  

  November 2014 edited November 2014

  AddieCake said:

  show previous quotes

  
  

  Knottie07518511 said:

  
  

  It's very important that my fiancee and I are married in a catholic church. A catholic priest will only marry us in a church and it's very hard to convince him and the bishop to marry us outside the church. it would be important to me and my family that I stay with Catholic tradition. But we also have dreamed of an outdoor wedding and found a beautiful venue for that. We were thinking of doing a small intimate church wedding in the evening before the wedding for those that wanted to be a part of it (maybe no bridal or grooms parties to make it simple) and then do the rehearsal dinner and the next day have our outdoor wedding for all of our family and friends with the big reception afterwards.  Has anyone done this before? What would I wear to the church wedding? I know it has to be appropriate for church but I don't want it to be the same dress I wear for the outdoor wedding. I want the church dress to be simple and respectful and the outdoor one to be "the first look" kind of dress that wows me. I would love to hear that someone else had to go through this too! 

  
  

  
  
  This is so inappropriate. You either care more about a Catholic wedding or more about an outdoor wedding. Which is it? If I were Catholic, I think this kind of thing would really offend me.
  
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  As a Catholic, I do find this offensive. Your church wedding is wedding enough.

  
  
  
  
  

  

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• banana468 member

  

  November 2014

  Your Catholic wedding IS your wedding. Why can't you just take outdoor photos? Besides, what would you do if the ceremony HAS to be indoors for weather issues?

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• lyndausvi mod

  

  November 2014

  
  

  holyguacamole79 said:

  show previous quotes

  Knottie07518511 said:

  It's very important that my fiancee and I are married in a catholic church. A catholic priest will only marry us in a church and it's very hard to convince him and the bishop to marry us outside the church. it would be important to me and my family that I stay with Catholic tradition. But we also have dreamed of an outdoor wedding and found a beautiful venue for that. We were thinking of doing a small intimate church wedding in the evening before the wedding for those that wanted to be a part of it (maybe no bridal or grooms parties to make it simple) and then do the rehearsal dinner and the next day have our outdoor wedding for all of our family and friends with the big reception afterwards.  Has anyone done this before? What would I wear to the church wedding? I know it has to be appropriate for church but I don't want it to be the same dress I wear for the outdoor wedding. I want the church dress to be simple and respectful and the outdoor one to be "the first look" kind of dress that wows me. I would love to hear that someone else had to go through this too! 

  
  This is so inappropriate. You either care more about a Catholic wedding or more about an outdoor wedding. Which is it? If I were Catholic, I think this kind of thing would really offend me.

  --------------------- As a Catholic, I do find this offensive. Your church wedding is wedding enough.

  as a non-pacticing Catholic who did want a beach wedding  I find it offensive. 

  
  

  I knew the rules and choose not to have a Catholic wedding.  Simply because DH and I were not practicing Catholics.  Had we been there is no doubt we would have had the Catholic wedding in a church.   We weren't so we didn't.  Simple.

  
  

  Your outdoor wedding will not be a wedding if you do the small Catholic one first.  Because you know, you will be already married.  It's also very offensive to pretend the sacrament  wasn't important so you had to do another one.     

  
  

  Anyway,  ff you choose to do the small Catholic one then just make it with your parents.  Wear something simple and go out to dinner or something.

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
  

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• Knottie07518511 member

  

  November 2014

  I'll take this post down, just want to see how many more trolls post on this thread lol didn't realize people on the knot were like this! Wow! People replying are as immature as 4chan posters lol .. 

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• MairePoppy mod

  

  November 2014

  Knottie07518511 said:

  I'll take this post down, just want to see how many more trolls post on this thread lol didn't realize people on the knot were like this! Wow! People replying are as immature as 4chan posters lol .. 

  
  

                     

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• lyndausvi mod

  

  November 2014

  
  

  Knottie07518511 said:

  I'll take this post down, just want to see how many more trolls post on this thread lol didn't realize people on the knot were like this! Wow! People replying are as immature as 4chan posters lol .. 

  
  

  
  

  There are a lot of Catholics on this board who know about these things.  We are full of good information.

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
  

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• fwtx5815 member

  

  November 2014

  Knottie07518511 said:

  I'll take this post down, just want to see how many more trolls post on this thread lol didn't realize people on the knot were like this! Wow! People replying are as immature as 4chan posters lol .. 

  ...so MUD, or...?
  
  Immature is wanting a PPD the NEXT DAY because the Catholic ceremony isn't enough for you, because an over the top dress and outdoor locale is so important that you want to put on a show for guests.

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   fka dallasbetch 

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

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• CMGragain member

  

  November 2014 edited November 2014

  Knottie07518511 said:

  It's very important that my fiancee and I are married in a catholic church. A catholic priest will only marry us in a church and it's very hard to convince him and the bishop to marry us outside the church. it would be important to me and my family that I stay with Catholic tradition. But we also have dreamed of an outdoor wedding and found a beautiful venue for that. We were thinking of doing a small intimate church wedding in the evening before the wedding for those that wanted to be a part of it (maybe no bridal or grooms parties to make it simple) and then do the rehearsal dinner and the next day have our outdoor wedding for all of our family and friends with the big reception afterwards.  Has anyone done this before? What would I wear to the church wedding? I know it has to be appropriate for church but I don't want it to be the same dress I wear for the outdoor wedding. I want the church dress to be simple and respectful and the outdoor one to be "the first look" kind of dress that wows me. I would love to hear that someone else had to go through this too! 

  They would have no choice.  Catholic doctrine declares that to receive the SACRAMENT OF HOLY MATRIMONY, you must be married on sacred ground.  You can't be much of a Catholic if you don't understand why this is important.  Shame on your for being so self important that you think having a fake ceremony is appropriate.  You sound more concerned about your dress than about your faith.  Your priest would not approve!
  

  

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• slothiegal member

  

  November 2014

  Knottie07518511 said:

  I'll take this post down, just want to see how many more trolls post on this thread lol didn't realize people on the knot were like this! Wow! People replying are as immature as 4chan posters lol .. 

  lol good one!!

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  

  
  

  
  

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• AddieCake member

  

  November 2014 edited November 2014

  Since when does disagreeing with someone = troll? And the respondents are immature? Damn. I wish I had called you a poo-poo head so I could at least DESERVE being called immature. Wasted opportunities, man!

  What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14

  

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• wrigleyville member

  

  November 2014

  OP, you can't take your post down. Besides, you've been quoted, so there's no point.

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• climbingsingle member

  

  November 2014 edited November 2014

  

  
  

  I really don't understand these brides that insist on having a fake/secret/private ceremony, and then a fake re-do after. That's not how it works! Where do these bad ideas keep coming from? There's no such thing as two ceremonies, unless you get a divorce between them! 

  
  

  
  

  ETA: Sometimes you have to make tough decisions. That's part of being an adult. You don't get to have your cake and eat it too. You chose one option, and move on. You don't have a church wedding, and an outdoor wedding, and an inside wedding, and then a wedding on a boat. 

  
  

  My FIL couldn't come to our wedding. We didn't have a wedding tour. We didn't have another ceremony for him, or anyone else that couldn't come. We had ONE, and went with that plan. 

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• Maggie0829 member

  

  November 2014

  I am pretty sure God would be rolling his eyes at you for having a redo wedding the day after your church ceremony because you wanted pretty pictures.

  
  

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• mikenberger member

  

  November 2014

  Who is it important to that you get married in the church? You or your/his parents? Someone else? Because if it was important to you and him, you wouldn't be asking if its okay to have two weddings (as everybody has mentioned, NO.)

  
  

  
  

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• IrishPirate60 member

  

  November 2014

  All Catholic sacraments are celebrated in the midst of the community, in the place where the community gathers, which is the local parish church. Yes, sick people are often anointed at home or in the hospital. Reconciliation can happen in an office or on a walk with your confessor at a retreat, but the routine place is the where the community gathers. You can be creative with the reception venue, but a Catholic wedding belongs in the church.

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