Science in favor of using a honeymoon registry

redheadbride15 · November 2014

I've seen a lot of threads on these boards bashing the idea of doing a honeymoon registry. There's a common concept that a wedding gift should be something timeless that the couple will have for the rest of their lives, and will make them think of the wedding and their guests for years to come. I agree with this ideal. However, a considerable amount of psychological research shows us that experiences (and the anticipation before and memories following these experiences) bring us more happiness than material things. Therefore, I think it follows logically that a honeymoon registry would have more long-term impact for the couple than a traditional registry for household items.

For anyone who's interested in more details, this is worth a read: http://www.theatlantic.com/business/archive/2014/10/buy-experiences/381132/

I'm not trying to start any arguments - everyone's preferences are different. I just think it's interesting food for thought.

redoryx · November 2014

Except those that donate to a honeyfund or the like aren't actually giving the wedding couple experiences. They are giving them money, which comes in the form of a check, with the honeyfund's cut taken out.

redheadbride15 · November 2014

True, unless the couple would not be able to afford a honeymoon without the fund. Then the money does, in fact, buy the experience...

redoryx · November 2014

If a couple didn't budget properly and are unable to afford a honeymoon, that's on them. It's rude to ask for money and expect your guests to pay for your honeymoon because you didn't plan well.

chibiyui · November 2014

redheadbride15 said:
True, unless the couple would not be able to afford a honeymoon without the fund. Then the money does, in fact, buy the experience...

A couple could also not register and most guests will give cash.

beethery · November 2014

That food for thought is some shit I don't want my brain to eat. It's rude and terrible.

photokitty · November 2014

redheadbride15 said:

True, unless the couple would not be able to afford a honeymoon without the fund. Then the money does, in fact, buy the experience...

If that's the case, then don't register and your guests will get the subtle and polite hint that you prefer cash rather than being rude by outright telling them and costing them service fees that cash or a check in a card would not.

Or don't go on a honeymoon until you can afford to pay for it.

fwtx5815 · November 2014

I scrolled through the article quickly so I may have missed it, but it didn't look like it mentioned Honeyfunds at all. I thought this was gonna be some study related specifically to that.

And anyway, people here have no issue with a couple putting money received toward a honeymoon. The gripes are how the couple comes about receiving the money - Honeyfunds are deceptive to guests because they aren't buying experiences, and the way people go about advertising them (ie, putting it on their website, posting it to facebook, etc) is the equivalent of asking for cash.

If a guest puts $100 in a card and the couple uses that on their honeymoon, there is absolutely no issue.

misshart00 · November 2014

Agree with Pp. There is nothing wrong with someone giving a gift for he couple to use on their honeymoon or a couple using cash they received for their honeymoon. It's when you're asking for cash that's the problem. Our hotel room for our honeymoon was a wedding present. It was wonderful. And we didn't even ask.

southernbelle0915 · November 2014

redheadbride15 said:
I've seen a lot of threads on these boards bashing the idea of doing a honeymoon registry. << There's a common concept that a wedding gift should be something timeless that the couple will have for the rest of their lives, and will make them think of the wedding and their guests for years to come.>> I agree with this ideal. However, a considerable amount of psychological research shows us that experiences (and the anticipation before and memories following these experiences) bring us more happiness than material things. Therefore, I think it follows logically that a honeymoon registry would have more long-term impact for the couple than a traditional registry for household items.

For anyone who's interested in more details, this is worth a read: http://www.theatlantic.com/business/archive/2014/10/buy-experiences/381132/

I'm not trying to start any arguments - everyone's preferences are different. I just think it's interesting food for thought.

Im on mobile so I can't bold - see << >>.

To the << >>, actually no. People on this forum do not say guests should only give things off the registry or some heirloom piece. A guest can give whatever they want. What people DO say is that B&Gs shouldn't ASK for money. Everyone knows money is a good gift.

And your conclusion from (uncited) research that experiences > things so " therefore" honeymoon registries are awesome is about the least scientific jump I have ever heard. Your science teacher would not be proud right now.

artbyallie · November 2014

I would like to know just why you, OP, thought this post would do anything but start an argument.

thisismynickname2 · November 2014

We had a small registry of household stuff and about 90% of our gifts were cold hard cash.

We'd already booked and paid for plane tickets and a hotel to Europe, and budgeted food and fun money. (In other words, we had plenty of money for our dream honeymoon, even being as frugal as we are.)

The cash we received allowed us to say, "Oh, great, we can splurge on that luxury transport from the airport rather than taking the train and not feel guilty," and "God, Switzerland is more expensive than we thought. Good thing we got all that cash."

A honeyfund is pointless, and risks robbing your loved ones of a percentage of the cash they'd give you anyway.

If you try to rely on your guests to buy your honeymoon, you're going to end up disappointed.

Maggie0829 · November 2014

A honeymoon is a vacation. Only those going on the vacation are required to pay for it. Now if someone generously offers to pay for some or part of the couples vacation then cool. But for the couple to create a registry asking for cash to help pay for their HM, then they are rude.

MyNameIsNot · November 2014

I don't get where you assume that people's problem with honeymoon registries is that people here think wedding gifts should be some timeless objects. That's not true at all. Most of the people here think cash is just fine, and even have polite ways to avoid physical gifts. So your article actually doesn't apply.

People here have issues with honeymoon registries because registering for money is rude and deceitful registries are wrong.

Edited: grammar

Viczaesar · November 2014

redheadbride15 said:

I've seen a lot of threads on these boards bashing the idea of doing a honeymoon registry. There's a common concept that a wedding gift should be something timeless that the couple will have for the rest of their lives, and will make them think of the wedding and their guests for years to come. I agree with this ideal. However, a considerable amount of psychological research shows us that experiences (and the anticipation before and memories following these experiences) bring us more happiness than material things. Therefore, I think it follows logically that a honeymoon registry would have more long-term impact for the couple than a traditional registry for household items.

For anyone who's interested in more details, this is worth a read: http://www.theatlantic.com/business/archive/2014/10/buy-experiences/381132/

I'm not trying to start any arguments - everyone's preferences are different. I just think it's interesting food for thought.

A swing and a miss. This has nothing to do with why honeymoon registries are rude and inappropriate.

LondonLisa · November 2014

They're rude and tacky because it is begging for cash. Also, I feel like I need to say this at least once a week so I will make it big and bold:

If you pay money (fees on a Honeyfund, usually around 7%) to get something that would otherwise be given for free (not registering and getting cash) you are HORRIBLE with money!

LondonLisa · November 2014

PS- OP, that isn't science, that is economics. If you are going to be smug and self-righteous, at least have the audacity of being correct.

dcbride86 · November 2014

LondonLisa said:

PS- OP, that isn't science, that is economics. If you are going to be smug and self-righteous, at least have the audacity of being correct.

Thank you! I was expecting some post about how evolution favors honeymoon registries or something - which certainly would have been fascinating and surprising.

JennyColada · November 2014

redheadbride15 said:
True, unless the couple would not be able to afford a honeymoon without the fund. Then the money does, in fact, buy the experience...

You know whats been shown to cause strife in relationships and emotional unrest?

Debt. Not being able to budget to pay your bills. Having to ask for money from loved ones.

Point. Game. Match.

AddieCake · November 2014

I don't understand why anyone would think a honeymoon registry would be the only way a couple could possibly receive money to put toward a honeymoon. It's like the people who think it's either dry wedding or cash bar or cash bar or full open bar with no other alternatives.

wrigleyville · November 2014

You know what? Honeyfunds didn't exist until just a few years ago, but people have been giving money to brides and grooms for centuries.

IT'S NOT HARD. I don't know why people think they have to ask for money. Plus, the Honeyfunds take a cut, so you're getting less money than you would if you didn't use a Honeyfund, which makes it doubly stupid.

If I know the couple is going to, say, Disney World, and I want to buy them an "experience", I'll either give them money or call the park to set up a pair of day passes as a gift.

[Deleted User] · November 2014

snarkymaid · December 2014

I was in a wedding over the summer where the couple had one of those Disney World honeymoon registries for their family Disney honeymoon in November. I know she got a few "items" at her shower.

Tomorrow is December 1. They did not go on their Disney World honeymoon in November. I doubt they ever will. They got the check from the Disney registry site and likely paid bills with it.

They did not get a honeymoon donation from me. I got them a gift card to the store they were registered at because I knew they weren't actually going to Disney World.

theartistformerlyknownas · December 2014

redheadbride15 said:

I've seen a lot of threads on these boards bashing the idea of doing a honeymoon registry. There's a common concept that a wedding gift should be something timeless that the couple will have for the rest of their lives, and will make them think of the wedding and their guests for years to come. I agree with this ideal. However, a considerable amount of psychological research shows us that experiences (and the anticipation before and memories following these experiences) bring us more happiness than material things. Therefore, I think it follows logically that a honeymoon registry would have more long-term impact for the couple than a traditional registry for household items.

For anyone who's interested in more details, this is worth a read: http://www.theatlantic.com/business/archive/2014/10/buy-experiences/381132/

I'm not trying to start any arguments - everyone's preferences are different. I just think it's interesting food for thought.

That's not a common concept at all, therefore your entire argument is moot.

Science in favor of using a honeymoon registry

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