Etiquette

NWR: Thanking a Thank you?

dolewhipperdolewhipper [wh]orlando member
1000 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary First Answer
I was recently a BM in a friend's wedding. Long story short, she asked me last minute and I had a great time being in her WP. MOB took care of the dress, which wasn't necessary at all, but now I understand why.

The wedding was a month and a half ago, and friend is a OMH and happy. I get a letter in the mail from the MOB, thanking me for being a good friend and yaddayadda being in the WP. Enclosed is a check and the letter explains that the other BMs received some money to cover expenses for the trip (it was DW) and the dress. Since they bought the dress for me already, it was the difference she would have given me.

Do I write MOB a thank you? I would have never known about the other girls' getting money as I'm not close with them. I don't see MOB as she doesn't live local, so I can't give her a verbal thank you. I don't want to cash the check without giving thanks if that's what I should do (and I feel as I should, but then that's thanking a thank you and that sounds a bit redundant). I talk to OMH friend a lot but don't see her often; I didn't tell her that I received the check from her mom. WWYD?


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Re: NWR: Thanking a Thank you?

  • I think you should send a thank you note because you received unexpected money. I wouldn't see it as thanking a thank you.
  • AddieCakeAddieCake Beyond the Wall member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    I agree with April. You are thanking her for the money gift, not for the thank you.
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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  • Yep. It's still a gift. Regardless of what the gift is for, it's a gift, so it deserves a thank you.
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  • huskypuppy14huskypuppy14 Boston Suburbs member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    Yep. It's still a gift. Regardless of what the gift is for, it's a gift, so it deserves a thank you.
    Do you guys give thank you notes for hostess gifts or bridesmaid gifts? Obviously, I would thank the giver in person even though the person is giving the gift as a thank you.

    I think the difference is that this was mailed, and the OP will not see the giver in person. It's still appropriate to give a thank you note in this case, but thank you notes are not necessarily needed for thank you gifts. (I hope that makes sense,)
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  • dolewhipperdolewhipper [wh]orlando member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary First Answer
    Thank you all!

    huskypuppy14 I did get my BM a card and bottle of wine when she threw my engagement party I of course thanked her in person, but I wanted to take the extra step to really show my appreciation. 


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  • huskypuppy14huskypuppy14 Boston Suburbs member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    Thank you all!

    huskypuppy14 I did get my BM a card and bottle of wine when she threw my engagement party I of course thanked her in person, but I wanted to take the extra step to really show my appreciation. 
    I meant you gave your BM a thank you gift, did she in turn give you a thank you note for your thank you gift.. KWIM
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  • dolewhipperdolewhipper [wh]orlando member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary First Answer
    huskypuppy14 Yes! Get it now.


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