Pregnant Yet?

hlvonb · November 2014

I have been married for 4 months and it is going great!

The only complaint I have is that I am still getting the "when are you getting pregnant" or the "you've been married 4 months, are you pregnant yet? No? Why not?" and other questions of the like. I have tried being nice and I have tried being snarky (saying something along the lines of how much money are you willing to give us so we can support our family while I'm not working or saying I didn't know you had a say in that) and nothing seems to get them to stop and heavens forbid I ignore the questions because then then I am just being rude. I want to scream shut up the next time someone asks me this.

At least this is the only part of being married that I'm not thrilled with.

bethsmiles · November 2014

People are so rude! What if you couldn't get pregnant or were having significant trouble trying? What if you had recently had a miscarriage?

There are so many ways you could be offensive/insensitive with those types of questions.

firebabe6519 · November 2014

You could always try the awkward route of f well hubby and I have tried XYZ positions, but if you have advice on how we are supposed to fuck...

In all seriousness though, that is so rude of people! I'm sorry you have to deal with that. Hopefully you find a way to get them to can it soon.

Chipmunk415 · November 2014

We just hit our nine month marriage mark. The baby comments are flying left and right. One gal in my office, upon hearing I'd turned 28 on Friday, told me I HAD to have children now, because my body would bounce better.

I finally got in her face, telling her my mother had me at 37, and my sister had hers at 36 and 38...what precisely was she implying?!

I've finally taken to telling relatives that if they have no involvement in putting the baby in me, they certainly can't demand when I should have that baby come out.

beethery · November 2014

Shit is wild as hell. I can't believe anybody would do that. Rude.

climbingsingle · November 2014

Ugh. I can't get over how rude some people are.

lovesclimbing · November 2014

My sister just announced her pregnancy. She is younger than me and she has been married half the time as I have, so I expect a lot of comments. My family has been good about it so far, but I expect the comments to increase dramatically the next time I see my family (in May, when my sister will be a couple months away from her due date.)

penguin44 · November 2014

This lady at my office has asked me every month since my wedding if I'm pregnant yet. Last week she touched my stomach and asked if I had a "baby bump." I kid you not.

I said, "No! And I can't believe you asked!"

She responded with, " Well I thought you looked pregnant, and I've been meaning to ask all week."

She never apologized. I'm still in shock.

JeeGooDowster · November 2014

I hated when that happened to me. I had two aunts asking me that question when I saw them, shortly after I got married.

One Aunt had alot of nerve considering her daughter had trouble conceiving and waited 8 years of marriage to finally have a kid...which I'm not faulting the daughter (I'm happy they were finally able to concieve!), I'm just surprised this Aunt would bring it up since I had been only married for like 1 month. Like she literally saw me a month later, and I greeted her hi and she didn't even say hi..she just felt my stomach and was like "pregnant yet?" FUCKING RUDE...I really wanted to say something harsh but out of respect for my elders, I didn't.

The other Aunt has a 35 year old single son...at my grandmother's 85th birthday party, the whole conversation revolved around when I was going to have kids....it's because my mom and dad asked if her son had a girlfriend (small talk) and she responded back, well when is mrsdowster going to have kids? I thought that was a weird response back but obviously she got defensive...and I find it quite rude she felt the need to fight back with the pregnant bullshit for 2 fucking hours when we were all together to celebrate my GRANDMOTHER!!

I REALLY REALLY wanted to say "oh, I just found out i am unable to conceive..." Just to make them feel like shit and piss them off!!!!

Jen4948 · November 2014

You could reply, "I'll forgive you for asking if you'll forgive me for not answering" or "when we decide we're good and ready!" if the situation calls for more snark.

lc07 · November 2014

I used to say, "It's not something we're even discussing at this point." and people would never ask again. You could also say that it's not something you're comfortable discussing.

holyguacamole79 · November 2014

As a woman with fertility issues who wants children, these questions burn. Luckily I haven't been asked lately.

[Deleted User] · November 2014

[Deleted User] · November 2014

hlvonb · November 2014

Thanks for the responses! I laughed at a couple of them!

lovegood90 · November 2014

Or you could try "the face" from Jenna Marbles, haha! If you don't know what I'm talking about, look it up on YouTube;-)

amelisha · November 2014

My line is "I'd like to spend a bit more time with my abs before I have to say goodbye," but since the questions have escalated lately I'm wondering if I should start pulling my shirt up to my bra band while I'm saying it to see how people react. I mean, if they feel it's appropriate to ask me questions about my abdomen I should probably let them see it, right?

AlexisA01 · November 2014

bethsmiles said:

People are so rude! What if you couldn't get pregnant or were having significant trouble trying? What if you had recently had a miscarriage?

There are so many ways you could be offensive/insensitive with those types of questions.

This is what pains me. I had one in early October and I have trouble getting pregnant, I feel so horrible because I try to not to let it get to me. All I hear from people are the comments regarding when will I be getting pregnant and I feel like it is rude and just offensive. There was one time a coworker asked and she kept bugging me about it to the point I told her bout it. It shut her up and she stopped asking.

holyguacamole79 · November 2014

@AlexisA01‌, I am so sorry to hear about your miscarriage. Hang in there. ((Hug))

bethsmiles · November 2014

@AlexisA01 - I'm so sorry. I have a friend going through a similar situation and I know it really upsets her when people ask when she will get pregnant. Of course, they think they are asking a harmless question but you just never know what is going on behind closed doors.

luckya23 · November 2014

Who ARE these people?? Maybe it's because I'm not a baby lover, but it's never crossed my mind to ask these questions to an acquaintance!

Chipmunk415 · November 2014

There was a lady in the cafe who assumed i was pregnant/had children. She was mortified when I said a variant of "oh heeeellll no, not yet, im just chubby." I did show help pictures of my kitties (my furbabies) and tols her a bit about the trouble they cause. Now every time I come in, she asks about my cats and what trouble they are trying to cause today.

levieenrose · November 2014

People can be so thoughtlessly cruel.

I haven't been asked yet, but since we haven't tried yet and the question would be more annoying than painful, I'd probably tell them deadpan that we arranged a celibate marriage. Or maybe say something equally stupid like, "don't know, we haven't seen the stork yet. Do they head south for the winter?" Or even worse: "oh yeah, kids! So how do we get one?" Or maybe be very exact about how long ago you might have conceived. Or tell them a crazy ridiculous number for the number of months you are pregnant or the number of children you are carrying.

Omg, what was in my coffee this morning? Wait, did I have coffee?

raissyrais · November 2014

That's nasty as hell. Stupid, rude people. I'm bracing myself already for these questions as we will be married soon. Already had a few comments from some family members. I could see the yearning in FMIL's eyes when we told her we weren't interested in having children ever.

abbyj700 · November 2014

People are awful.

Saturday night I had to explain to three different women that we don't plan to have any children. And they were just mortified. It went as far as them explaining that I would be lonely if my husband dies and I have no children to take care of me. Because ya know...having spawned at some point in my life would make it easier to lose my life partner...

I get it, you'd be nothing without your kids. You'd be bored, unhappy, feel unfulfilled, have no significance, meaning or path in your life. But guess what? Some of us aren't you.

Peaseblossom55 · November 2014

Yesterday was my sister's baby shower, she is due in less than two months about half of the time my mom spent, asking me when I would have a baby. Bribing me with all sorts of baby gifts and money, if we had one. I told her we aren't sure if we are, we just starting trying but I certainly am not going to share that information. At one point I got so annoyed I told her to focus on the grandkid she has and the one on the way and leave me alone.

SmileDamnit · November 2014

Totally lucked out in that no one ever asked us once we were married, though a couple of my aunts suggested that I was knocked up at the wedding (…no, auntie, that's called a bear gut). Wait! But then I did get pregnant wedding weekend so I guess they didn't have the time to get the inappropriately invasion question in there, did they?

I did get the question a lot with my last boyfriend. We dated for 7 years in my mid-20s to early-30s so it was during prime "breeding" time. I was very upfront that I didn't, nor would I ever, have any desire to spawn with him. Period. Ever. People eventually got the hint.

beachyone15 · November 2014

A guest at our wedding actually had the nerve to ask my DAD about grand-kids...DURING our wedding reception. His response was "let's get through the wedding first, k?"

Ugh, people.

[Deleted User] · November 2014

[Deleted User] · November 2014

thisismynickname2 · November 2014

beachyone15 said:

A guest at our wedding actually had the nerve to ask my DAD about grand-kids...DURING our wedding reception. His response was "let's get through the wedding first, k?"

Ugh, people.

My new Uncle-In-Law cornered me at our wedding reception and told me I had to have kids right away so my FIL could have a grandchild. Then he pointed to my FIL, who up until that point had been having a blast on the dancefloor, sitting alone at a table looking morose. Truly, he was just tired and drunk, but you could infer moroseness from his facial expression. Apparently this uncle cornered my mom too, who bean-dipped, allegedly.

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