Wedding Party

Junior Bridesmaid?

Has anyone had . . . or planning to have a Junior Bridesmaid?? My fiancé and I have a young girl in our life that we would really like to include, but we aren't sure what we should give her to do in the ceremony? I don't really want her standing up with the bridesmaids during the ceremony . . . so maybe that's the wrong thing to call her. But does anyone have any ideas? She is about 12, so too old to be a traditional flower girl. But, I don't mind doing things a little different. Can anyone give me some suggestions? I thought about having her pass out the programs, or little things like that.

Re: Junior Bridesmaid?

  • jacques27jacques27 member
    First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited November 2014
    Why don't you want her to stand up with the bridesmaids?  It's walking and standing.

    Either honor her with the role or don't, but don't give her a "job", whether it be passing out programs (a basket at the entry way can do that) or standing over the guest book (a sign can do that).  Don't ask her to do something an inanimate object can do just as well.


  • edited November 2014
    If you don't want her to stand in the ceremony, the only other polite option would be reader. Even a twelve-year-old knows passing out programs is a bullshit 'role.'

    ETA: 'Guest' is a perfectly acceptable way to include someone.
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  • sandiag said:
    Has anyone had . . . or planning to have a Junior Bridesmaid?? My fiancé and I have a young girl in our life that we would really like to include, but we aren't sure what we should give her to do in the ceremony? I don't really want her standing up with the bridesmaids during the ceremony . . . so maybe that's the wrong thing to call her. But does anyone have any ideas? She is about 12, so too old to be a traditional flower girl. But, I don't mind doing things a little different. Can anyone give me some suggestions? I thought about having her pass out the programs, or little things like that.
    These are the roles in a wedding that aren't complete bullshit...
    1) Bridesmaid/Groomsman
    2) Reader
    3) If you are having a mass...presenting of the gifts
    4) Flower girl/Ringbearer

    Anything else is a job.

    I don't understand why you don't want this girl to stand up with the rest of your BMs during the ceremony?  Also, there is no such thing as a junior BM.  Just because she is 12 doesn't mean that "junior" should be included in her title, especially when she would be doing the same thing as the other BMs which is wear the appropriate attire, smile, walk down the aisle, and stand up with you while you get married.

    Finally, being is guest is a pretty awesome honor as well.

  • If you don't want her standing up with the bridesmaids, don't invite her to be a bridesmaid.

    Junior is an insult to many young women anyway. To use it to exclude her from the rest of the bridesmaids would be really mean. 

    She could read/sing during the ceremony, be a bridesmaid, or be a guest. Asking her to pass out programs or guard the gifts is not ok. 
  • tcnobletcnoble member
    First Comment First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its
    edited November 2014
    Since you asked if anyone else is planning on including junior bridesmaids... I have two of them (ages 7 and 9), they are just bridesmaids, everyone can see they are younger so the title "junior" is a little unnecessary. They are wearing matching dresses in the same color as the other bridesmaids (which they picked out together) and are walking down the aisle together. They will attend the rehearsal, get ready with us, be invited to get their nails done with the rest of us, and receive gifts based on their personal tastes.. basically anything the other bridesmaids are doing they will be doing because they are, in fact, bridesmaids. 

    ETF spelling
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  • Passing out programs is not a way to honor someone you consider special. Have her be a regular bridesmaid or don't include her at all. 

    You could also have her do a reading. 
  • If you want to "honor" her with a role, then she can be a bridesmaid or a reader. "Jobs" like passing out programs are not "honors."
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