Aunt Flo (Monthly Cycle) on your Wedding Day? UGH!!

txbandwife · November 2014

I don't know of a polite way to word this so I'm just going to come out and say it:

My cycle has moving around on me, sometimes light and sometimes incredibly heavy. Drs assure me all it's just a normal part of getting older. I'm starting to stress that I might be on my cycle for our wedding night (3.5 weeks away). Not only the obvious curtail of honeymoon activities (GRRR) but also concerns about wearing white, standing / pictures for awhile etc.

Anyone been in that situation? If not, thanks for letting me vent!

southernbelle0915 · November 2014

I mean, do you normally have problems with blood getting all over your clothes when you have your period? If not, then I don't think wearing white should worry you. If so, then I think you need to take a new approach to period management.

I was on my period for half my honeymoon. Woof. And DH isn't excited about period sex (I'm working on him..). It wasn't ideal obviously, but we're having sex for life, so um... it's working out ok. It will for you, too.

txbandwife · November 2014

TMI comment below

do you normally have problems with blood getting all over your clothes when you have your period?

Um, yeah, twice... which is why I went to the dr about it. I get some months where it's just spotting and then twice in the last year where it seems like someone dumped a gallon out in one day. Kinda embarrassing at work. Dr says that happens to some people as we approach the change and not to worry since the heavy flows are occasional. Maybe I'm overreacting because the last three months have been very light.

Glad it's no big deal to you. My PM box indicates it's a big deal to more than just me.

holyguacamole79 · November 2014

I know many women whose cycles changed drastically because of wedding-related stress. There is a fair chance that if you expect it to come in your wedding day, that it won't. Still, it's too soon to go on the Pill before your wedding. Do what you can with what you have. Good luck!

climbingsingle · November 2014

That sucks. I don't really know what you'd be able to do in 3.5 weeks. I'd say just try to be prepared as much as possible.

I've been on a the pill for a long time and it's a godsend for me.

Maggie0829 · November 2014

Just be overly prepared.

My friend had her period on her wedding day. The only time it sucked for her was when she needed to change out her tampon. Not the easiest thing when you have a shit ton of tulle and fabric to have to deal with.

Just keep telling yourself that it isn't a big deal and that there is nothing to worry about because the more you stress then the worse it could get. And don't be afraid to excuse yourself to use the bathroom, even if you are in the middle of taking pictures.

carrie0924 · November 2014

I totally understand your concerns. My period is very regular and predictable, and I always know KNOW the first two days will be very heavy and that sometimes, no matter how many changes I make throughout the day, a little can leak. I just overnight pads and ultra uber mega tampons the first two days, and change several times a day. The last 4-5 days it's almost nothing. Very very minimal spotting that a panty liner can handle. Dress shopping was a bit frustrating for that reason. My period, for the first time in over a year, was not exactly on schedule. For some reason, it was 4 days late, and my heavy day was on dress shopping day. Dress shopping was a road trip affair to my mom's town (5 hour drive with FSIL & a good friend), plus my bestie was flying from out of state to make it to this shopping trip. No way I could just re-schedule. And to top it all of? I was sick so sneezing & coughing the whole time. So in a dressing room with friends and mom surrounding me, heavy flow day, trying on white dresses, coughing and sneezing. Fortunately, everything was fine, but all it takes is one embarrassing moment to scar you and make you paranoid for life. I can't imagine if I had had all of that going on ON my wedding day and needing assistance going to the bathroom. Some women are fortunately blessed to have lighter periods, some of us would probably do best to wear a diaper and stay home for a couple of days.
I completely understand your fears & frustrations. I'll just keep my fingers crossed for you. And definitely definitely over prepare, just in case. It may turn out you are too tired to even have sex on your wedding night, so that wouldn't even be my biggest concern. You are right to be a little nervous, but turn the nerves into preparation, and hopefully you won't need it

beethery · November 2014

@txbandwife try out a diva cup. You can monitor the amount of fluid you're losing, and plan accordingly for the wedding day. They take nothing to get used to, and they don't leak if inserted correctly.

If you have an insanely heavy flow, you could probably do to check it every 5 hours, dump and rinse it, reinsert it, and be all set with no leakage. Maybe use a pad as a backup just in case, but you're supposed to be able to tell when the cup is getting full. I've had really good luck with it, and it's a huge money saver in comparison to buying tampons every month.

Jen4948 · November 2014

Yeah, I've experienced heavy periods at awkward times too. If this is an ongoing issue, I'd discuss it with a doctor, but in the meantime, I'd be prepared with pads, tampons, or whatever you need to protect your clothes.

levioosa · November 2014

I'm extremely heavy. I always have to wear a tampon and a pad, because if I don't have access to a bathroom every half hour-45 minutes the first two days, it's mayhem. Be prepared with both. What day will you be on? If it's towards the end of your cycle, you might be fine. Just relax about it, because stressing might make it worse, and it might be super light anyways.

AddieCake · November 2014

Mine showed up unexpectedly at our rehearsal dinner. I wasn't worried about it being too heavy to wear a white dress, though.

lovesclimbing · November 2014

beethery said:

@txbandwife try out a diva cup. You can monitor the amount of fluid you're losing, and plan accordingly for the wedding day. They take nothing to get used to, and they don't leak if inserted correctly.

If you have an insanely heavy flow, you could probably do to check it every 5 hours, dump and rinse it, reinsert it, and be all set with no leakage. Maybe use a pad as a backup just in case, but you're supposed to be able to tell when the cup is getting full. I've had really good luck with it, and it's a huge money saver in comparison to buying tampons every month.

I was just going to recommend a menstrual cup.

I have the Divacup and I absolutely love it. It can hold much more than a tampon and doesn't leak. I have a moderate/heavy flow, and the first day, I change it about every 7-8 hours. After the first day, I change it at night and in the morning, that's it.

As for getting your period on your wedding day, well, that's something that really can't be helped at this point. My sister got her period the day of. They didn't have sex until several days in. I got mine part way through my honeymoon. If you can't have sex that day, it's not really the end of the world. Try shower sex or put an old towel down.

esstee33 · November 2014

If you're concerned with not being able to have honeymoon sex because you'll be on your period, you could try out Instead Softcups. It's a little flexible cup that you put in that holds back the flow of blood. You can keep them in for 12 hours AND have sex with them in. They're kind of messy to take out, so I really only use them for period sex and occasionally overnight. It could be a good option with a pad as a back-up for the actual wedding day, too, since you shouldn't need to replace it for most of the day.

ShesSoCold · November 2014

Stick some herbs and shit up there. That'll slow down/stop your period.

ETA: Please don't do this. I don't have a sarcasm font.

txbandwife · November 2014

Thanks y'all. For anyone with heavy flows, I highly recommend Instead. It's what I use with a pad for backup on the superhuge days. it holds a lot, but I find it won't work at all angles - if I'm doing yoga or something it leaks. I'll look into Diva cup. And I'm sure FI will be understanding (though I hope we end up not having to worry about it)... after all, he's already waited 2 years for this church gal. What's a couple more days.

lovesclimbing · November 2014

txbandwife said:

Thanks y'all. For anyone with heavy flows, I highly recommend Instead. It's what I use with a pad for backup on the superhuge days. it holds a lot, but I find it won't work at all angles - if I'm doing yoga or something it leaks. I'll look into Diva cup. And I'm sure FI will be understanding (though I hope we end up not having to worry about it)... after all, he's already waited 2 years for this church gal. What's a couple more days.

REI is where I bought mine. Also, I have never had a problem with the Diva Cup leaking. I have never worn it to do yoga (I've never done yoga), but I have worn it biking, hiking, running, swimming, kayaking, rock climbing, dancing and lots of other things that I can't think of off the top of my head. Never had a problem.

penguin44 · November 2014

lovesclimbing said:

txbandwife said:

Thanks y'all. For anyone with heavy flows, I highly recommend Instead. It's what I use with a pad for backup on the superhuge days. it holds a lot, but I find it won't work at all angles - if I'm doing yoga or something it leaks. I'll look into Diva cup. And I'm sure FI will be understanding (though I hope we end up not having to worry about it)... after all, he's already waited 2 years for this church gal. What's a couple more days.

REI is where I bought mine. Also, I have never had a problem with the Diva Cup leaking. I have never worn it to do yoga (I've never done yoga), but I have worn it biking, hiking, running, swimming, kayaking, rock climbing, dancing and lots of other things that I can't think of off the top of my head. Never had a problem.

I have the Lunette. Got it on Amazon. I bought it because I was tired of the leaking and backup pads. It took a few tries to get the hang of, but now I love it!

beethery · November 2014

My bestie said they had a diva cups at the walmart out by her. Might be worth checking into.

atlastmrsg · December 2014

If you're concerned with not being able to have honeymoon sex because you'll be on your period, you could try out Instead Softcups. It's a little flexible cup that you put in that holds back the flow of blood. You can keep them in for 12 hours AND have sex with them in. They're kind of messy to take out, so I really only use them for period sex and occasionally overnight. It could be a good option with a pad as a back-up for the actual wedding day, too, since you shouldn't need to replace it for most of the day.

No. I did the softcup thing when it first came out, and sex with it in did not work out at all. Unless your man is tiny. I mean tiny tiny. Otherwise, he's tapping the thing. He feels weird hitting it, you feel weird with it noticeable (you don't usually feel it) and potentially leaking, and everyone's just kind of wondering how to make it less awkward.

Call your ob-gyn. S/he may be able to move your period altogether. Mine offered to for a vacation before I got a mirena.

esstee33 · December 2014

atlastmrsg said:

If you're concerned with not being able to have honeymoon sex because you'll be on your period, you could try out Instead Softcups. It's a little flexible cup that you put in that holds back the flow of blood. You can keep them in for 12 hours AND have sex with them in. They're kind of messy to take out, so I really only use them for period sex and occasionally overnight. It could be a good option with a pad as a back-up for the actual wedding day, too, since you shouldn't need to replace it for most of the day.

No. I did the softcup thing when it first came out, and sex with it in did not work out at all. Unless your man is tiny. I mean tiny tiny. Otherwise, he's tapping the thing. He feels weird hitting it, you feel weird with it noticeable (you don't usually feel it) and potentially leaking, and everyone's just kind of wondering how to make it less awkward.

Call your ob-gyn. S/he may be able to move your period altogether. Mine offered to for a vacation before I got a mirena.

YMMV, I guess. I've had several very well-endowed partners who either didn't feel it at all or DID but it didn't bother them. The few times there's been bumping a change of position fixed it. Only once, ever, in over 10 years of using them, has there been a situation in which it being in there was so problematic we couldn't continue -- and that was once, in about a dozen times using them with that same partner.

txbandwife · December 2014

I love the softcup, but every body is different and my body on heavy days must remain upright. Any tipping and that thing empties!

I'll look into those other options...especially the diva cup after hearing how long you can use it.

thanks!

lnixon8 · December 2014

Take this with a grain of salt...This sounds crazy but my coworker wanted to speed up her period by a few days so she wouldn't have it on a cruise. She took a TON of vitamin C tablets for 2 weeks before and it came 5 days early. With it being cold and flu season it wouldn't hurt to try!

jay788 · December 2014

This is a bit on the extreme end, but if you REALLY want to delay your period, a doctor can prescribe a progesterone pill to delay it.

[Deleted User] · December 2014

GARION said:

This is a bit on the extreme end, but if you REALLY want to delay your period, a doctor can prescribe a progesterone pill to delay it.

just skip the placebos on your birth control. my doc says I can do this occasionally without any effect.

jenijoyk · December 2014

I did Vitamin C and rose hips supplements a week before my wedding in an effort to get it to come a few days early. It worked, but I have no clue if it was actually the supplements or the power of placebo.

badbnagdway · December 2014

If you do find that you have your period in the days leading up to the wedding there are a couple of things that might help in addition to what others have suggested. In the days leading up to your wedding, apply heat to your abdomen (which encourages blood flow, ie, hopefully get some of the blood out faster), drink lots of water and take some warm baths. The water apparently helps flush your system faster. I would stop all that the day before the wedding. Apparently Ibuprofen tends to decrease blood flow so you could take safe doses of Ibuprofen the night before your wedding and on the wedding day.

apromise22 · January 2015

I've been drinking Traditional Medicinals' Healthy Cycle blend while on my period, and it's done wonders--I have significantly less fatigue and cramps, and my period has actually gotten lighter (that might be a coincidence though).

txbandwife · January 2015

These are great suggestions. I will keep them in mind for things like cruises and other special trips.

Everything worked out, though we did have a honeymoon interruption. Good thing there's multiple paths to happiness.

Katek819 · January 2015

Diva cup all the way, although technically I use the lunette. Have been for 2 years not joking when I say it changed my life. First got it when I was gonna have my period on vaca although my only hesitation would be is that there is a learning curve so get one asap and practice.

Tweetiepie19 · March 2015

Well...I'm glad I am not the only one! At this point, I have no idea when mine is going to come, but know there is a high chance of it being on/around the wedding. My biggest issue isn't controlling blood, so much as pain. The first two days can be absolutely brutal for me (as in, unable to stand up without doubling over, even on painkillers). This doesn't happen all the time, but I know it can...and that has me a little freaked out. Any suggestions?

lovesclimbing · March 2015

How long is it until your wedding? If you're still several months out, you could potentially talk to a doctor about different birth control.

What do you normally do to control the pain? If you're in pain (doubling over), will you be able to attend your own wedding? If not, you should ask a doctor about something for that.

If worse comes to worse, well, just deal with it, I guess. Not much else you can do. My sister has pretty bad periods, and she threw up in the airport bathroom on their flight off on their honeymoon. She was miserable and slept the whole flight and felt pretty bad the first day or so of the honeymoon. Life happens and sometimes that stuff is unavoidable.

Aunt Flo (Monthly Cycle) on your Wedding Day? UGH!!

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