Hello!
I ran into a bit of an etiquette conundrum today. My husband, parents, and I were uninvited via Facebook messenger to my mother from a wedding (technically, it's a vow renewal) we were due to attend on a weekday afternoon. The bride dropped the word that semi-formal attire, which per her conversation with my mother, was a requirement of elegant dresses for all ladies and suits for gentleman. Now, I am in a wheelchair and dresses are difficult given my personal physical limitations. My wedding dress required 6 people to get on my in a herculean effort, so it's not at all what I considered wearing. I had an appropriate dressy top and pants selected that I wore to another wedding. My husband had equally dressy attired planned, however, not specifically a suit as his does not fit appropriately and he is losing a significant amount of weight and wishes to wait before making a purchase, etc. My mother voiced her concerns as she herself had another dress outfit selected, but does not own a dress appropriate for the season (as she prefers pant outfits for formal events).
Fast forward to today, we received condescending email implying that if we could not dress to their specifications, we should advise them now so that they could reduce their catering counts.
Note the invitation did not state required attire nor did the design or appearance denote a semi-formal wedding.
QOTD: Do I still send the gift that has already been purchased?