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REALLY quick ? about addresses

Knottie1445136220Knottie1445136220 member
Fourth Anniversary 25 Love Its 10 Comments
in Wedding Etiquette Forum
Hey!

Real quick--

My wedding is informal. Is it ok to have names written on save the dates/invites be written formally (i.e. Mr. and Mrs. John Doe)?


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Re: REALLY quick ? about addresses

  • lyndausvilyndausvi mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its
    My wedding was informal and that's what I did.    Well I did the STD just first and last names.  The invites I did Mr and Mrs.






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
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  • CMGragainCMGragain member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    edited December 2014
    The way that you should address all personal mail is to included proper titles.  It has nothing to do with the formality of your wedding, and everything to do with etiquette.

    Mr. and Mrs. John Doe

    or, if preferred

    Ms. Jane Doe and Mr. John Doe
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
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  • jenijoykjenijoyk member
    Tenth Anniversary 500 Love Its 500 Comments First Answer
    I personally hate getting mail addressed to "Mr. and Mrs. John Doe". My name isn't "Mrs. John Doe". And my name certainly isn't just "Mrs." My name is actually "Mrs. Jane Doe". 

    Formal or informal event, I feel the exact same way. 

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  • thisismynickname2thisismynickname2 member
    5000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    Just to be on the safe side, I followed etiquette rules on all correspondence. I'd rather err on the conservative side even though I myself am not "Mrs DH Doe" like PP said.
    ________________________________


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  • CasadenaCasadena member
    Knottie Warrior 2500 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    Etiquette-wise @CMG is right. However, I have plenty of friends that would prefer to be addressed by their name rather than title. So I just did a judgement call on a case by case basis and addressed most of my friends informally on the invites as well.
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  • NYCMercedesNYCMercedes member
    Sixth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Mrs. Mary Doe is how a divorced woman is addressed. Only use that if you're sure your friend won't be miffed.
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  • jenijoykjenijoyk member
    Tenth Anniversary 500 Love Its 500 Comments First Answer
    NYCMercedes said:
    Mrs. Mary Doe is how a divorced woman is addressed. Only use that if you're sure your friend won't be miffed.

    I don't think that's true. If you're talking "traditional" I thought widows were "supposed" to be "Mrs. John Doe." Obviously, I disagree with that too. I'm just saying I don't think anyone is going to be offended by being addressed as "Mrs. Mary Doe" because you are somehow implying they are a widow.
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  • CMGragainCMGragain member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    jenijoyk said:
    NYCMercedes said:
    Mrs. Mary Doe is how a divorced woman is addressed. Only use that if you're sure your friend won't be miffed.

    I don't think that's true. If you're talking "traditional" I thought widows were "supposed" to be "Mrs. John Doe." Obviously, I disagree with that too. I'm just saying I don't think anyone is going to be offended by being addressed as "Mrs. Mary Doe" because you are somehow implying they are a widow.
    A widow can be either Mrs. John Doe, or Ms. Mary Doe.  It is incorrect to use Mrs. Mary Doe to a widow, but I know some older ladies who do prefer this - especially if they have been married multiple times.
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
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  • CMGragainCMGragain member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    edited December 2014
    jenijoyk said:
    I personally hate getting mail addressed to "Mr. and Mrs. John Doe". My name isn't "Mrs. John Doe". And my name certainly isn't just "Mrs." My name is actually "Mrs. Jane Doe". 

    Formal or informal event, I feel the exact same way. 

    Of course, your name is not Mrs. John Doe.  This is your TITLE, not your name.  Your NAME is Mary Doe - no Mrs., Miss, or Ms.  As I indicated in my first post, you may also use the title, Ms. Mary Doe.  Mrs. Mary Doe is for divorced ladies.
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
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  • CMGragainCMGragain member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    To return to the OP's original question, the way you address a personal letter or invitation has nothing to do with the formality of the event.  Proper personal mail is addressed using titles, not just names.
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
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  • NYCMercedesNYCMercedes member
    Sixth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    jenijoyk said:
    NYCMercedes said:
    Mrs. Mary Doe is how a divorced woman is addressed. Only use that if you're sure your friend won't be miffed.

    I don't think that's true. If you're talking "traditional" I thought widows were "supposed" to be "Mrs. John Doe." Obviously, I disagree with that too. I'm just saying I don't think anyone is going to be offended by being addressed as "Mrs. Mary Doe" because you are somehow implying they are a widow.

    Please reread my post. You've got it backwards. Mrs. Mary Doe does not imply widow. It is for a divorced woman. Widow was not even addressed in my post. A widow traditionally is Mrs. John Doe. A divorced woman is Mrs. Mary Doe, as I posted.
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  • MandyMostMandyMost member
    Knottie Warrior 1000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    NYCMercedes said:
    Mrs. Mary Doe is how a divorced woman is addressed. Only use that if you're sure your friend won't be miffed.
    My mother is a widow, and she is sensitive to people calling her "Mrs. Mary Doe" because it implies she is divorced, which she is not. 
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  • jenijoykjenijoyk member
    Tenth Anniversary 500 Love Its 500 Comments First Answer
    Haha - sorry! Read too fast!!
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