Xmas gifts for SO's

phira · December 2014

I'm actually a little irritated because we set a $20 limit on gifts last year (because our gift to ourselves was dinner and a Broadway musical), and J bought me a 3DS. He said he did it because my birthday present hadn't been very good (a $50 gift card to this place that delivers cookies, but he didn't realize they didn't deliver to our apartment), and because he really wanted an excuse to buy a 3DS for both of us.

For my birthday this past year, he got me the necklace I wore for our wedding, but he paid for it from the wedding account, so I feel like it wasn't actually a birthday gift. I don't know how to talk to him about this. It's not because I feel like he HAS to spend lots and lots of money on me, or that we both have to spend the same amount of money on each other, but this really just rubs me the wrong way.

Ollie08 · December 2014

phira said:

I'm actually a little irritated because we set a $20 limit on gifts last year (because our gift to ourselves was dinner and a Broadway musical), and J bought me a 3DS. He said he did it because my birthday present hadn't been very good (a $50 gift card to this place that delivers cookies, but he didn't realize they didn't deliver to our apartment), and because he really wanted an excuse to buy a 3DS for both of us.

For my birthday this past year, he got me the necklace I wore for our wedding, but he paid for it from the wedding account, so I feel like it wasn't actually a birthday gift. I don't know how to talk to him about this. It's not because I feel like he HAS to spend lots and lots of money on me, or that we both have to spend the same amount of money on each other, but this really just rubs me the wrong way.

What? Who does that?

labro · December 2014

@phira It would rub me the wrong way because the money is coming from wedding funds...and it's supposed to be a gift. The wedding funds are for the wedding. A gift should've come from his separate budget. This really bothers me...

Peaseblossom55 · December 2014

LaPeanut1018 said:

@phira It would rub me the wrong way because the money is coming from wedding funds...and it's supposed to be a gift. The wedding funds are for the wedding. A gift should've come from his separate budget. This really bothers me...

Ditto.

loves2shop4shoes · December 2014

@phira, I'd be peeved as well. Wedding money = for wedding, and if he was going to buy you wedding jewlery, that's fine, but you should've gotten a separate "non wedding" gift.

dizzylizzy213 · December 2014

I have already bought FI a new Smart TV and Band of Brothers Blu-ray boxed set (because I heard him ask his parents to bring it home for viewing on their next visit). And I may get him some candy or something too.

MsSparky · December 2014

We're going to NYC to see a show, so that's our big gift to each other. I got a Ravens themed nutcracker, since he had mentioned wanting to start a nutcracker collection, and I'd like to do one or two more little things, but not sure what. Maybe one of those ridiculously sized candy bars or something. Or maybe the home made fudge I learned how to make yesterday.

KeptInStitches · December 2014

@phira, my love language is gifts, so I'd be peeved on multiple levels. I'd be talking to J as well.

Swazzle · December 2014

500days said:

This year we are just going to get each other gifts for our honeymoon trip to Alaska. I have already bought FI a waterproof jacket and a pair of binoculars. I'm thinking a fleece and sneakers will be good too.

I only have a waterproof jacket on my list....can't think of anything else I would need. I'm just too practical.
1

Awesome! I have been looking into going to Alaska for our 30th birthdays next summer. They might be a little too pricey after this house situation but I am DYING to do it. How's your planning going? Are you driving yourselves or doing a cruise?

eilis1228 · December 2014

LaPeanut1018 said:

@phira It would rub me the wrong way because the money is coming from wedding funds...and it's supposed to be a gift. The wedding funds are for the wedding. A gift should've come from his separate budget. This really bothers me...

Agreed!

bethsmiles · December 2014

I have no idea what to get BF this year. My budget is much more restricted than usual (which will actually make BF happy because he always says I spend too much) so I'll need to get creative.

BF isn't the best with giving presents. Which is fine with me. I LOVE giving gifts but don't really care about getting them.

@Phira - If you talk to J, I think you should focus on the fact that you love the gift but it's where the money comes from/how much he's spending that bothers you. It definitely seems like a hard conversation to have!

AuroraRose41 · December 2014

@phira I would also be annoyed at that and don't think you are wrong at all to feel that way.

BF and I set a limit of $150 dollars this year. He mentioned wanting to drink more tea instead of alcohol to relax at night, and I decided that I would support him in that endeavor by getting him some tea related things. I got him a nice gift set from Teavana (CLICKY); I bought it on Cyber Monday and paid $50 for it. He is also science geek and really loves chemistry related items, so I found a test tube tea infuser (CLICKY), a beaker tea infuser (CLICKY), and 2 laboratory beaker mugs (CLICKY).

And he also did want a new cocktail barware set for entertaining, and I figured I would go along with the chemistry theme and buy him THIS. He doesn't want to stop drinking completely, just replace alcohol with tea after a long day of work and only drink socially so I thought this would be a fun gift for him when he wants to entertain.

I know he got me a lot of new bakeware; I just don't know what everything is yet and am excited to find out and use my new pans!

phira · December 2014

Okay, I feel SO MUCH LESS like I'm a horrible person. I'll talk to him. I really didn't care that the cookie place didn't deliver to our apartment (they're next to where I work), but I was upset about the 3DS and the necklace.

[Deleted User] · December 2014

@Eilis1228 - THANKS for the Star Wars Cookbook idea! I'm doing a cooking theme for my brother and his girlfriend and this is perfect. Just ordered on Amazon. He's a huge star wars fan and they're both vegetarian...surprisingly there were mostly vegetarian recipies in there! So glad I read this thread through today!!

500days · December 2014

@swazzle- You should definitely plan ahead for an Alaska trip! Definitely for next summer, since you need plenty of time to book floatplane trips, glacier walks, etc. Let me know if you have any questions because I have been doing more research for this than the wedding...

We are going in July for 2 weeks- 1 week on land near Denali and Kenai Fjords and then 1 week on a cruise from Seward (3 hrs south of Anchorage) to Vancouver. We hope to see Mt. McKinley and try as many things as possible without overspending. It's definitely worth it because honestly, it may not be there forever.

Swazzle · December 2014

@500days - Awesome, thanks for the tips! That's exactly what I said to H. We both came up with lists of possibilities for our birthdays and I really pushed for Alaska because there is definitely going to come a day where it doesn't exist anymore. Will that be in our lifetime? Maybe not BUT I think has time progresses, it definitely will start to decline. I'm sure it already has.

Dignity100 · December 2014

@500Days - I'm SO jealous of your Alaskan trip. I've always wanted to go and it's on my short list of places I want to see. I really want to do the sea/rail cruise there. It'll be a few years before we can go though.

Dignity100 · December 2014

@AuroraRose31 - Thanks for posting!! I started thinking 'I wish I could just get my H a tea set, but we already have one we don't really use' and then I remembered he's been eyeing stovetop exressso makers for a long long time - I just ordered him 2 expresso mugs and the expresso maker!! I'll pick him up an expresso roast from trader joe's or something.

@Eilis1228 & @allusive007 - I think I'm going to pick my brother up the Star Wars cookbook(s) too... I'm thinking about don't the recommended Amazon set of both cookbooks and the Darth Vader apron, will need to talk to H and see how much we're spending on family.

[Deleted User] · December 2014

I got him a set of three Mass Effect posters, one of his favorite video game series'. They're kind of minimalist and they look really cool. Nothing overboard!

He implied he went overboard for me, though. Not sure if happy or frustrated-happy or scared of bill.

eilis1228 · December 2014

@Dignity100 and @Allusive007 Glad I could help!

peekaboo2011 · December 2014

I had been pretty stumped on what to get M for ages, but I got really lucky this year. He's getting this cute little "build your own straw" set, some honey with honeycombs in it, and the fancy new kettle he's been wanting for the past 2 years. Mom found it on Amazon's Lightning Deals this year, and it was still expensive, but it hasn't been discounted EVER in the past 2 years, so I jumped for it. He's going to be super surprised.

I'll probably pick up a couple more little things, because I love Christmas.

phira · December 2014

OKAY SO

Last night, we were talking about anniversary gifts we've given each other, and I said, "Hey, I don't remember what you got for me for my birthday this past year," and J was like, "Huh, I don't either! But I write everything down so I can find out."

He got me a zip-up hoodie from my university, since my old one had a broken zipper and I was in tears over the loss.

Sooooooo whoops my bad.

lavenderfields13 · December 2014

@ollie08 I'm going to steal that theme too. I wasn't sure if I was going to buy him some books that he had on his wishlist but I will now.

We, well I set a limit of $300 this year. We are saving for the wedding. I also just had to buy a new laptop, ticket to visit my parents, and new brakes for my car so my credit card balance is back up! I'm trying to purchase Xmas gifts without using my credit card. We don't usually do a limit and then I always feel like what I get might not be enough and when we each start putting each other's presents under the tree we're counting them to see if it's equal. It's ridiculous.

The only things I've bought so far are a CD, video game (those can go in his stocking) and undershirt tanks (something he needs). I'll get him white tees and boxers as well for "need".

He "wants" a bluetooth speaker. Also wants a jacket so that can be for "wear". And the books can be for "read".

I need to not let myself feel guilty this year for not buying the most expensive and awesome gifts and hope he doesn't get me a lot! I want stuff but I want a bathrobe the most lol

arrrghmatey · December 2014

My FI has been talking about going to a San Jose Sharks game with one of this buddies for a while, but neither of them make the effort to actually plan and buy tickets. So I bought him a pair of tickets for a Saturday night game for him and a friend to go--I like hockey but I like to get him out of the house so I can have the place to myself every once in a while

AuroraRose41 · December 2014

@Dignity100 Glad I could help!

bride2b71614 · December 2014

I have a DIY present for FI this year (pic below). I set the bar high in the past but I hope he's going to love it!

Xmas gifts for SO's

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