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People backing out of paying at the last minute

Knottie41362858Knottie41362858 member
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edited December 2014 in Wedding Woes

All along people have been telling us that they will take care of certain things for our wedding.  I have an older friend that I have known for 14 years. She has been telling me for 14 years “when you get married I will do your wedding cake for you!” Now I’m getting married and 3 weeks before the wedding she says “I can’t do the wedding cake.”  So, I came up with another person to do the cake. It’s an extra $200 that wasn’t budgeted for.

Now here it is 3 days before the wedding. We are just doing a small garden wedding with the invited people going to a nice restaurant afterward. My mom insisted on paying for it. She said it was something that she wanted to do for us.  I have $400 that my dad gave us for a dj that we are holding. We aren’t using a dj so I saved it to put on the restaurant bill. I expect the restaurant bill to be between $600 and $700. My mom tells me this morning that she only has an extra $100 to put toward the restaurant bill. It’s going to be more than $500! So I guess that is extra money that wasn’t budgeted for that my fiancé and I have to come up with.

I've said it before and I will say it again...I wish we would've just went to Vegas!!

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Re: People backing out of paying at the last minute

  • MNNEBrideMNNEBride member
    Knottie Warrior 2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    I'm sorry your friend and your mom let you down.  It's a good thing you have the money from your Dad to help defray the extra cost of the restaurant bill you'll now be paying.
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  • *Barbie**Barbie* member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    1) going to vegas likely would have cost more than $700, unless you're within driving distance or can get very cheap flights and hotel rooms
    2) you shouldn't count on "promised" money - just budget based upon what you can afford, and what you have available (might be a little late for this, but good learning for other brides)
    3) it sucks that people backed out, but at the same time, you should be thankful that they are willing to help cover any of the cost. 
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  • Knottie41362858Knottie41362858 member
    First Comment

    Oh we’ve spent more than $700. That’s just for the food.  We are actually going to Vegas for our honeymoon. I would’ve been ok with just getting married out there, but DFI wanted immediate family involved.

    I’ve learned not to count on people when they tell me that they will give me money or pay for something. However 1 was a 14 year promise. And it wasn’t something that was said 14 years ago. It was something that she would say every time we get together. Or if I would get a new boyfriend, even if he wasn’t serious. “I can’t wait to do that wedding cake!”  It was a given that my wedding cake was covered. Until 3 weeks ago.

    I actually tried to talk my mom out of paying for the reception food. She insisted and said that it was something that she wanted to do for my fiancé and me. She was so insistent that I let her do it and figured she would have it covered. I now know better than to trust anyone, no matter how insistent they are. It’s too late for me, but hopefully future brides will know. 

    I told my fiancé that I am never, ever, ever planning another wedding again lol!!!

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  • arrrghmateyarrrghmatey member
    500 Love Its 500 Comments First Anniversary First Answer
    edited December 2014
    Sorry, but as PP already said, you should never budget your wedding based on promised money. Budget based on what YOU and your FI can afford so that this doesn't happen. If someone offers to contribute, then that's a great little bonus to help you save. But don't depend on it or make plans around what you *assume* you will have. Peoples' lives change. Perhaps your friend and your mother hit some financial hardship that they are not telling you about. You're an adult, and should be able to pay for your own wedding.
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