2 year engagement

cgatewood18 · October 2014

My fiancé and I are recently engaged and are planning for a 2 year engagement with a wedding date sometime in Fall 2016. I need to finish my Master's degree first, plus 2016 will be our 10th anniversary as a couple. So 2016 means quite a bit for us. Any advice for long engagements? We would like to have an engagement party sometime after the first of the year and a couples shower when we get closer to the wedding. Is that too much? We would NOT ask for gifts at the engagement party, it will be more of a "hey we're finally engaged" celebration for close family and friends. But I don't want to overwhelm people. I've looked everywhere for a 2 year engagement timeline, but can't seem to find any helpful information. Thanks in advance for the advice!

ShesSoCold · October 2014

cgatewood18 said:

My fiancé and I are recently engaged and are planning for a 2 year engagement with a wedding date sometime in Fall 2016. I need to finish my Master's degree first, plus 2016 will be our 10th anniversary as a couple. So 2016 means quite a bit for us. Any advice for long engagements? We would like to have an engagement party sometime after the first of the year and a couples shower when we get closer to the wedding. Is that too much? We would NOT ask for gifts at the engagement party, it will be more of a "hey we're finally engaged" celebration for close family and friends. But I don't want to overwhelm people. I've looked everywhere for a 2 year engagement timeline, but can't seem to find any helpful information. Thanks in advance for the advice!

H and I had a two year engagement. I don't think there's any standard timeline, but I recommend booking your huge must-have vendors as soon as you make a decision, especially if you live in a popular area. If you are sure on your venue and photog or any other vendor, put deposits down so you can secure them. The last thing you want is to wait a year and then your favorite venue isn't available the same date your favorite photog is.

Engagement parties and showers are thrown for you by family members or friends. You don't host them yourself. Personally I think engagement parties are a but much but I believe many people here think they should be soon after the proposal. A year later and people wonder what the point is. If someone offers to host a shower for you, the date is up to you, them and your VIPs but I think it should be close to the wedding date.

peachy13 · October 2014

Congrats!

I'm halfway through my 2 year engagement.

It feels like it's only been 2 months. And I think it's safe to guess that my remaining year will go be really fast. The 2 years is so nice because you have time to really figure out what you want. We spent this past year picking out our vendors which was pretty easy since most are available 2 years out! It's also great to have more time to save money.

A few tips... we didn't pick our wedding party until 7 months after we were engaged (this past May) which was still probably early. It was hard since I already knew who I wanted to ask, but I really wanted to wait as long as possible. Also this past May, my mother threw us an engagement party which was really fun and kind of rekindled the freshly engaged feel. It was also a really fun preview for our wedding. My shower won't be until two months before the wedding.

Enjoy your engagement, it only happens once! I know it's not for everyone, but I wouldn't have it any other way. Before you know it, a year will pass and you'll be a year away from your wedding. I'm telling you it flies right by!

Beautyandthefish · October 2014

My sister had a really long engagement as well. My advice to you: don't wait until the last minute to plan all the details! You have all this time at your disposal, so use it. My sister and BIL waited until the last minute and then got busy with classes (they were both finishing up their undergrads), and most of the last-minute details got put on my parents. When my fiancé and I got engaged my dad INSISTED that we have at least a year to plan because he didn't want that to happen again

marleyjustine · October 2014

My fiancee and I got engaged fourteen months ago, and our wedding is another eight months away. The first year, we accomplished very little in terms of wedding planning - I picked my MOH, bridesmaids and flower girl, and we went back and forth between whether or not to have a destination wedding, set a date (which ended up being changed) and booked our venue and photographer. Now that we are less than a year away, we're actually starting to really plan - earlier this week I went wedding dress shopping and ordered our cake. So while we didn't really "use" the time we had early on, I think we both have enjoyed having a longer engagement.

Marley

www.marleyjustine.com

nicole4793 · October 2014

My advice is to start planning early (if you so choose), and don't let anyone make you feel badly about doing so! Some people weren't very nice to me because I wanted to book a few things early in order to not stress out too much during school. Having the church and reception venue booked since 2 months into our almost 2 year engagement has been such a huge relief to me. I asked a few people like my sister and SIL to be in our wedding, and FI asked his brothers. We only did that because they are people that we know are going to be in our lives by the time wedding festivities roll around. If you are going to ask friends, I would wait until under the 1 year mark. One last bit of advice is that if you buy your dress early, dress regret is totally normal! I ordered my dress in April 2014 (wedding is October 2015), and for weeks I stressed out wondering if I made the right choice. Don't panic; wait until you get to try the dress on again to see how you feel! Good luck planning.

Llikotdesserd · November 2014

We too are having a two year engagement! I honestly did almost EVERYTHING in the 1st year, which has been awesome for year 2 - I had my first pick on literally every single vendor, and some of them even booked me at 2013 pricing since they didn't have 2015 pricing set yet. This year I can relax, and concentrate on getting in shape. I even have the time to pick up a 2nd job, which has been great for saving for the wedding. It's truly been a blessing since we've determined we'll be moving about 4 weeks before the bridal shower, so a lot of time will be taken up by apartment hunting and packing and the actual move itself.

I'd rather have too much time than too little time - it leaves the wiggle room to fix something that might go wrong. For example - we're getting married June 13 2015. I ordered my wedding dress Feb 14, 2014 - 16 months in advance. They told me it would take 5-6 months to come in, it ended up taking 8 months to the day. I'd have been freaking the eff out if I had ordered it closer to my wedding, but this way I have plenty of time to work out and do all of my fittings without feeling stressed about it.

glitch104 · November 2014

My fiance and I are doing a 2year engagement as well. We just got engaged last Friday and I am so glad we agreed on the time frame we did. I have spent hours upon hours already reading up on venues, vendors, DIY projects, budgets, ect... We will be paying for most if not all of it our self and by having a 2yr engagement we have a good breakdown of what we need to save monthly.

I also love that so far the vendors and venues I have contacted are going to quote me at 2014/2015 pricing as a firm quote.

[Deleted User] · November 2014

My fiance and I are having a two year engagement as well

mrsk616 · November 2014

we are having a 2 year engagement because we need to save money. No one has really given us any issues most understand why we are doing it though. we want a certain venue and it actually helps us save the money and I can actually try to get a second job to help out with it.

thisismynickname2 · November 2014

I had a 1.5 year engagement and my sister had a 2 year engagement. Book the "big stuff" early, like PPs have said: venue, DJ, photog, officiant....

When you get to the year mark, definitely use TK's wedding planning checklist. By 12 months, you'll be able to cross a lot off already, but you'll see on the list know there's plenty of things you simply don't need to worry about yet. The great thing about a long engagement is taking it slow, not feeling rushed....

Try not to plan anything that ends up being a trend until you have to. Colors of linens and BM dresses, flowers, overall look (unless the venue is decorated enough to not need to worry about a look)--- your tastes may change and if you commit too early, you can't switch to something new and fresh. For example, our venue was Art Deco and I got excited about a 1920's-esque feel, but then saw that people were "so over Gatsby weddings" by the time mine rolled around. Oh well!

Also--- being able to save money is awesome. It really takes the sting out of wedding bills when you've been methodically socking away money month after month after month.

wrigleyville · November 2014

We had a two-year engagement. It gave us plenty of time to save money and plan.

I booked our venue right around the 15-month mark, and once we had that date locked, I reserved our (very popular) photographer.

Then I just followed the usual timeline for the bakery, florist, caterers, invitations, etc.

Sometimes it felt like it was taking forever, but I'm an impatient person. Two years to normal people feels like ten years to me.

lunardaydreaming · November 2014

Congratulations on your engagement

I would second what others have said about just locking down your venue and other "big" vendors if you're very particular about them. Fiance and I got engaged June 2014 and had planned on October 2016 because we wanted October (it's special to us). We got a lot of crap from other people about having such a long engagement, it didn't get to us. We recently did just shift our date up to October 2015 because we are excited and impatient and couldn't wait, ha. But stick to your guns and enjoy the time planning!

ccohen0819 · December 2014

my engagement will last 2 years and two months to the date of the wedding.... there raelly isnt a timeline that i have found... i use my knot planner religiously and started planning literally the second we got engaged... i prefer the longer engagement because with our jobs we have maybe 1 day off a week so it's much easier for me to take my time getting thigns done.

I started first with dates that we were thinking of and finding my dress and a reception venue.. and took my time after that..

Honestly, the logner engagement for me worked out. I was able to really take my time in making choices and it took me a year to pick out my dress. My reception venue actually gave me 2013 prices instead of 2015 because of how far in advance I booked them. It really has been so much less stress on me to take my time, and now that I am 5 months out from the wedding, I am right where I should be according to my knot planner!

All I can say is do what feels right for you and use a regular planner for help and a general timeline and then go from ther !

lindsey61811 · December 2014

ccohen0819 said:

my engagement will last 2 years and two months to the date of the wedding.... there raelly isnt a timeline that i have found... i use my knot planner religiously and started planning literally the second we got engaged... i prefer the longer engagement because with our jobs we have maybe 1 day off a week so it's much easier for me to take my time getting thigns done.

I started first with dates that we were thinking of and finding my dress and a reception venue.. and took my time after that..
Honestly, the logner engagement for me worked out. I was able to really take my time in making choices and it took me a year to pick out my dress. My reception venue actually gave me 2013 prices instead of 2015 because of how far in advance I booked them. It really has been so much less stress on me to take my time, and now that I am 5 months out from the wedding, I am right where I should be according to my knot planner!
All I can say is do what feels right for you and use a regular planner for help and a general timeline and then go from ther !

Thanks for posting this. if we go with the date I am thinking, our engagement will be about 2 years and 5 months. I'm struggling with how far away it sounds, but also know it's the best decision for us

Knottie79725535 · December 2014

It is SO lovely and refreshing to read that my fiance and I are not the only ones who decided to have a two year engagement! We got engaged in early August and just booked our venue for fall 2016, and we got a lot of heat from both families (mostly the moms!) about having such a long engagement. I didn't think it was that long, and now that I am helping to plan 3 of my friends weddings and other big life events coming up in the next year, I am so glad we have the extra time to save money and plan the way we wanted to: slowly and surely!

Good luck and congrats to all!!

dcbride86 · December 2014

I also had a 2 year engagement!! We got engaged in June 2013, and are getting married May 2014. I graduated from law school and took the bar this summer, and I couldn't deal with studying for the bar AND planning a wedding.

Honestly, it's been really great! We have been able to secure every vendor we wanted because nothing was booked, and it's been fairly relaxing. Now that it's less than 5 months away, the pace is certainly starting to pick up, but it's been so nice to have a pretty low-stress engagement.

As far as timelines go, I would go ahead and look for a venue. That way you can get what you want before it's booked, and once you have a venue and date, you can start to look at other things. I would also book your photographer pretty early, because they tend to get booked quickly since they can onyl be at one wedding at a time. After that, I'd say relax and get some of the small stuff - I got our table numbers and favors like a year ago. Sure, those are small things, but it was nice to just be able to get them whenever I felt like I had some extra cash.

Congrats and have fun planning!

JamieLynn913 · December 2014

I will pretty much have a 2 year engagement as well. I don't think it's to out of the norm anymore. Our date is October 7, 2016. Since we are paying for everything ourselves, we decided to give ourselves time. I'm not trying to break the bank in 365 days, that's for damn sure.

Ultimately, do what you want. I never agreed with all these "timeline" pressures people put on people's weddings. YOU do what YOU want to do. It's YOUR day. If you want to be engaged for 10 years, more power to ya.

We also already started looking at venues and actually booked one. A lot of people must have the same idea cause the dates were few and far in between. We locked in our venue so now thats one huge thing that's off my plate and I have PLENTY of time to pay it off, plan things, etc. We plan on going to bridal shows and finding some of our vendors that way as well. Just have fun with it.

ceduley · December 2014

We'll have had over a 2 year engagement by the time we are married this June and I couldn't have been happier we went that route. Since we've had the time to experience our friends' weddings this year i've also come to understand how much goes into the pre-parties as well, such as the bachelorette/bridal shower/engagement party. I think having both an engagement party and a couple's shower is a bit much. I understand you wont want people to bring gifts (i've tried having my friends not do this with the bachelorette and shower), but no matter what some will feel different and its not fair to have your guests spend so much money (even if it is over 2 years). I had to spend over $1000 for just one my friends wedding this year for decorating and planning and everything along with that which led up to the wedding. Add that to what you spend with other weddings and its just too much. skip the engagement party, maybe invite a few people over for dinner and drinks and save the real celebration for the couple shower; that's what it's meant for anyways

As for the timeline, best advice is that it's never too early to book the things you know you want. I thought we had everything on time and done early, btu 7 months and i'm now having trouble finding hair stylist availability which i would have never expected.

CMGragain · December 2014

cgatewood18 said:

My fiancé and I are recently engaged and are planning for a 2 year engagement with a wedding date sometime in Fall 2016. I need to finish my Master's degree first, plus 2016 will be our 10th anniversary as a couple. So 2016 means quite a bit for us. Any advice for long engagements? We would like to have an engagement party sometime after the first of the year and a couples shower when we get closer to the wedding. Is that too much? We would NOT ask for gifts at the engagement party, it will be more of a "hey we're finally engaged" celebration for close family and friends. But I don't want to overwhelm people. I've looked everywhere for a 2 year engagement timeline, but can't seem to find any helpful information. Thanks in advance for the advice!

You never throw your own engagement party! No! It is a party that is given FOR you by a friend or relative. Gifts are not usual.
You never throw your own shower, either! Ew! Showers ARE gift giving events. Showers are traditionally given by close friends, but they are not required. My daughter didn't get one. They should be given close to the wedding, and everyone who is invited MUST also be invited to the wedding.
I can't advise you on long engagements. Mine was less than two months.

Blackbird230 · December 2014

Long engagements are completely ok! FI and I will be at 2.5 years once we get married because of finances. It gives you plenty of time to plan and take your time so it doesn't get too stressful.

brideiguess · December 2014

I think a long timeline is just fine. I'm recently engaged, and our wedding will be sometime in the warm season of 2017 - if we go for the fall, it will be almost a three year engagement. The long timeline allows us time to think about what we really want/can afford, book the big stuff well in advance, and then we can take care of the finer details after I finish my masters at the end of 2016. It also allows lots of time to pay for the wedding, since we're doing that ourselves.

[Deleted User] · January 2015

I got engaged August 29, 2014. We wanted to have a longer engagement because we were planning on paying for the whole thing ourselves and keeping it to a small(er) budget. My parents surprised us by offering to contribute a large portion (honestly, the entire amount we had considered spending!), so we are now able to invite more family and friends. We decided to keep the long engagement because we are both super busy and wanted the extra time to plan, and we just booked our ceremony/reception venue for August 27, 2016.

Our next steps... I take my next actuarial exam on February 10th and we go to Cancun February 11th-16th. We'll start looking into caterers in March.

FH had the idea of spacing out planning so it doesn't seem so overwhelming, and I'm starting to like that idea. We live an hour from where we're going to get married, and can't take every single weekend to go up there and check out local vendors for the big stuff. So we'll take around a month to find a certain vendor, take a month off, another month to find another vendor, another month off, etc.

Then when we hit the 9 month mark (December 2015!) we'll kick it into higher gear and finalize the little stuff.

kmomac · January 2015

Our engagement will be about a year and 7 months. I booked my venue already, but depending on the area, you may not be able to book until 12 months out. If you do your research now, though, you will be able to book as soon as that day comes. Like everyone else has said, we are really enjoying the longer engagement because we have time to save for things for both our wedding and our honeymoon. We're also having a DW, so we wanted to give our families time to save up and plan too.

On another note, it was important to my FI and me to have a long engagement to take our time wedding planning. We didn't want our entire relationship to revolve around planning every second of the day, and we only get to do this part of our lives once. We just want to enjoy it!

AJh1021 · January 2015

I have also had a long engagement. I agree with many of the PP's, book as much as you can, as soon as you can. I thought I had a photographer locked down, but prior to doing a contract, that photographer decided to move across the country, therefore leaving me on the hunt again. Luckily, they let me know with plenty of time to find a new photographer, but in my search, I have learned that many of the best are booked well in advance (this goes for photographers, venues, caterers, etc.). So, with that being said, if there is ANYTHING you have your heart set on, book it!

mrsgptobe · February 2015

we want a 2 year engagement also, because my fiance needs to finish a graduate program also. would love some help with this too!

ccohen0819 · February 2015

No problem! Don't worry about it! It sounds like you are a busy woman and time will fly! Before you know it you will be walking down the aisle!

Knottie31321366 · February 2015

We got engaged on Christmas eve 2014, and just set our date for June 2017!! So far have just booked our venue, (ceremony & reception) at the same place.

Now I'm like, "Now what?" lol

I love booking things early so you can have your choice, and sometimes better prices! I just wish I could go and try on dresses and do more planning stuff now! I will probably book photographer in the next couple of months.

It would be nice to have an engagement party maybe when the weather gets warmer, but like other PPs, that's only if someone chooses to throw us one, if not-oh well!

As soon as we set the date I was super eager to ask my friends to be in my bridal party, but know I have to wait till much later from now..

What are other little things can you do planning wise, to pass the time? I've thought of a few little DIY's that I will probably start now so I won't have to rush/worry or ask any of my friends for help last minute.

klk111415 · March 2015

We for the most part hosted our own engagement party. I don't think it's a big deal. I mean, we had it at my parents house but we sent out the invites and paid for most of the food. It was a blast and pretty much just a nice way to get our families together since they hadn't really met previously. It was a pool party and we invited people to stay over so they could fully enjoy themselves, and they did! It was such a fun day and no one frowned upon the fact that we were co hosting.

Don't start looking for a dress until you are a year or so out. I actually went to David's Bridal and was just looking to see what styles I liked and walked out with my dress in hand that day. I got lucky but it did feel a bit soon (I was 11 months out)

The best thing to do with so much time on your hands is to research, research, research! Get a list of photographers, DJs, any vendors you are considering. Write out a budget for each item and try to stick with it. Send out lots of email inquiries and be ready to negotiate to fit that budget you are trying to stick to. I also put all my ideas on pinterest. You don't have to just use the stuff you find on pinterest, you can post links that you find anywhere online and it's a good way to keep them all in one place. Figure out what direction you want to do in for the ceremony. It's so hard to start the process and just stop what you are doing and NOT think about it, but it was literally on my mind so so much that I had wedding related nightmares. Just get your ideas together for now and try not to obsess. As I said, I started 14 months out and I'm bored now!

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